You and your friend need to ace Friday’s exam to avoid summer classes, and after a week of studying, you both feel confident that you pulled it off. But when you get your grades back, they’re much lower than the two of you expected. You’re devastated. However, your friend doesn't seem too bothered, and it's making you wonder why you can't shake this off like they can. But should you really be trying to look on the bright side? And is controlling our emotions even possible in the first place?

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你和你的朋友必須搞定 周五的考試才能逃過(guò)暑期課程， 學(xué)了一周以后， 你們都有信心能搞定。 但是拿到成績(jī)后， 發(fā)現(xiàn)比你們倆想的要低得多。 你崩潰了， 但是你的朋友看起來(lái)若無(wú)其事， 所以你在思考為什么 你不能像他/她這樣把它視作浮云。 但是你真的得保持樂(lè)觀嗎？ 說(shuō)到底，真的有可能控制情緒嗎？

The answer to the last question is a definitive “yes.” There are numerous strategies for regulating our emotions, and one framework to understand these techniques is called the Process Model. Psychologists use this tool to identify where and how to intervene in the process that forms our emotions. That process has four steps: first, we enter a situation, real or imagined, and that draws our attention. Then we evaluate, or appraise, the situation and whether it helps or hinders our goals. Finally, this appraisal leads to a set of changes in how we feel, think, and behave, known as an emotional response.

后面這個(gè)問(wèn)題的答案就是“可以”。 有很多策略可以幫助你管理情緒， 有一個(gè)理解這些技巧的框架 稱為“過(guò)程模式”， 心理學(xué)家利用這個(gè)工具判斷 該在哪一個(gè)階段、如何干預(yù) 形成情緒的過(guò)程。 這個(gè)過(guò)程有四步： 首先，我們會(huì)進(jìn)入一個(gè)情境， 可以是真實(shí)或是虛構(gòu)的， 吸引了我們的注意。 然后我們會(huì)評(píng)估或評(píng)價(jià)這個(gè)情境， 判斷它是會(huì)幫助 還是阻礙我們達(dá)成目標(biāo)。 最終，這個(gè)評(píng)價(jià)會(huì)引起 我們感受、思考、行為的變化， 即情緒反應(yīng)。

Each step of this process offers an opportunity to consciously intervene and change our emotions, and the Process Model outlines what strategies we might try at each phase. To see this in action, let’s imagine you’ve been invited to the same party as your least-favorite ex and their new partner. Your first strategy could be avoiding the situation altogether by skipping the party. But if you do attend, you could also try modifying the situation by choosing not to interact with your ex. If that’s proving difficult, you might want to shift your attention, maybe by playing a game with your friends rather than focusing on your ex’s new partner. Another option would be to re-evaluate how you think about the situation. After seriously reappraising things, you might realize that you don’t care who your ex dates. If none of these strategies work, you can always try tempering your emotional response after the fact. But this can be tricky. Many of the easiest ways to do this, like hiding your emotions or trying to change them with recreational drugs, generally lead to more negative feelings and health concerns in the long term. More sustainable strategies here include going for a long walk, taking slow, deep breaths, or talking with someone in your support system.

這個(gè)過(guò)程的每一步都提供了 讓你有意識(shí)地干預(yù) 和改變情緒的機(jī)會(huì)， 過(guò)程模式描述了每個(gè)階段 可以采取什么樣的策略。 如果要看實(shí)際的效果， 假設(shè)你受邀參與一個(gè)派對(duì)， 你最討厭的前任和他/她的現(xiàn)任 也將出席。 你可以采取的第一個(gè)策略為 干脆避免這種情況的發(fā)生， 直接不去這個(gè)派對(duì)。但是如果你出席了， 你也可以試圖扭轉(zhuǎn)局面， 只要不和你的前任 有任何互動(dòng)就可以了。 如果這也很難， 你可以轉(zhuǎn)移你的注意力， 也許和你的朋友玩玩游戲， 而不是死盯你前任的現(xiàn)任。另一個(gè)選項(xiàng)是重新評(píng)估 你對(duì)這個(gè)情況的看法。 在慎重的重新評(píng)估之后， 你可能會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)你根本不在乎 你的前任在和誰(shuí)談戀愛(ài)。 如果這些策略都沒(méi)有用， 你可以在情況發(fā)生之后 試著緩和自己的情緒反應(yīng)， 但這有點(diǎn)棘手。 有很多簡(jiǎn)單的方式， 比如隱藏自己的情緒， 或服用娛樂(lè)性藥物改變情緒， 通常會(huì)帶來(lái)更負(fù)面的感受， 也會(huì)長(zhǎng)期影響健康。更可持續(xù)的方法包括 長(zhǎng)途步行、 緩慢地深呼吸，或者 和你情緒支持系統(tǒng)中的某人聊一聊。

While using all these strategies well takes practice, learning to notice your emotions and reflect on where they’re coming from is half the battle. And once you’ve truly internalized that you can regulate your emotions, doing so becomes much easier. But should you use these techniques to constantly maintain a good mood? That answer depends on how you define what makes a mood “good.” It's tempting to think we should always try to avoid sadness and frustration, but no emotion is inherently good or bad— they’re either helpful or unhelpful depending on the situation. For example, if a friend is telling you about the loss of a loved one, feeling and expressing sadness isn’t just appropriate, it can help you empathize and support them. Conversely, while it’s unhealthy to regularly ignore your emotions, forcing a smile to get through a one-time annoyance is perfectly reasonable.

雖然你需要通過(guò)實(shí)踐 充分利用這些策略， 但是學(xué)會(huì)關(guān)注自己的情緒、 思考它們的來(lái)源 已經(jīng)是成功的一半。 只要你徹底把管理情緒 融為自己的一部分， 那對(duì)你來(lái)說(shuō)這就易如反掌了。 但是你該不該利用這些技巧 一直保持好心情呢？ 答案取決于 你如何定義“好”心情。你很有可能會(huì)覺(jué)得 我們總是得避免悲傷和沮喪， 但是情緒本質(zhì)上是沒(méi)有好壞的—— 只是在不同的場(chǎng)合下 它們可能是有益或無(wú)益的。 比如你的朋友告訴你 他/她失去了摯愛(ài)之人， 這時(shí)，感受、表達(dá)悲傷 不僅僅是合適的， 還能讓你與他/她感同身受， 為他/她提供支持。 相對(duì)地，雖然總是 無(wú)視自己的情緒不太健康， 但為了忍耐一時(shí)的惱怒而假笑 是非常合理的。

We hear a lot of mixed messages about emotions. Some pressure us to stay upbeat while others tell us to simply take our emotions as they come. But in reality, each person has to find their own balance. So if the question is: “should you always try to be happy?” The answer is no. Studies suggest that people fixated on happiness often experience secondary negative emotions, like guilt, or frustration over being upset, and disappointment that they don't feel happier. This doesn't mean you should let sadness or anger take over. But strategies like reappraisal can help you re-evaluate your thoughts about a situation, allowing you to accept that you feel sad and cultivate hope that things will get better.

人們對(duì)情緒眾說(shuō)紛紜。 有些人逼迫我們要保持樂(lè)觀， 有些人告訴我們 情緒既來(lái)之，則安之， 但是實(shí)際情況是 每個(gè)人都得找到自己的平衡。如果這么問(wèn)： “你應(yīng)該一直保持開(kāi)心嗎？” 答案是“不應(yīng)該”。 研究表明，一直保持開(kāi)心狀態(tài)的人 通常會(huì)伴隨著另一種負(fù)面情緒， 如因?yàn)楦械骄趩?而產(chǎn)生的內(nèi)疚和挫敗感 和因?yàn)闊o(wú)法感到更快樂(lè) 而帶來(lái)的失望。 這不代表你應(yīng)該 沉浸于悲傷或憤怒中， 但是“重新審視”這樣的策略 可以讓你重新評(píng)估 你對(duì)某種情況的想法， 讓你接受自己可以感到悲傷， 也培養(yǎng)希望，相信事情會(huì)變得更好。