脫口秀內容：

I'm actually an American immigrant. And they said that American is actually a country of immigrants. So I have to ask you guys please leave my country. I'm serious. We have a zero tolerant policy right now.?

我其實是個美國移民者。他們說美國實際上是一個移民國家。所以我必須請你們離開我的國家。我是認真的。我們現(xiàn)在實行的是沒有任何通融余地的零容忍移民政策。

My son was born and raised in America. I remembered one day he came home from school. That's when he about 5 years old. He said to me"Hey dad I learned America history today." I said"Wow that's great." He said"Now I really feel bad for black people." I said"Yeah they really misreaded in American history." He said"Yeah and I'm so glad that I'm WHITE." I was like"Hold on. You're not white." He said"Then what am I?" I said"You are yellow." The true story. That he later looked at his hand he was like"Daddy this doesn't look yellow to me." I said"Yes I know. But this is America. And everybody has to have a color. And that's the color they gave us. You're better deal with it."

我兒子是在美國出生長大的。我記得有一天他從學校回到家，那時候他大概5歲。他對我說：“爸爸，我今天學了美國的歷史?！蔽艺f：“哇，那很棒啊！”他說：“我現(xiàn)在真的為黑人感到難過。”我說：“是啊，他們真的被美國歷史誤解大發(fā)了?！彼f：“對啊，所以我很高興我是個白人?！蔽艺f：“等一下，你不是白人。”他說：“那我是什么人??？”我說：“你是黃種人?！边@事真發(fā)生過。他后面看了看自己的手，說，“爸爸，我覺得我看起來不黃啊?！蔽艺f:“是啊，我知道。但這里是美國。每個人都得有種膚色。這就是他們眼中我們的膚色。你對此最好認命。”

But my son has a good point though. Nobody in America especially a person's of color is exactly the color they're assigned. Like this is not exactly yellow. It's kinda brown. A black person is not exactly a black they're kind of...brown. So we are all pretty much all different shades of mexicans. So white people please don't feel left out. I have a lot things in common with white guys. For example I have an Asian wife.

但我兒子說得也有道理。在美國沒有哪個人的膚色是他們自己能決定的。就像（我的）膚色其實不是黃色。而是棕色。一個黑人的膚色也不是真的是黑色，而是…（深）棕色的。所以我們其實都是膚色深淺程度不同的墨西哥人罷了。白人們不要覺得自己被孤立了啊。我和白人之間是有很多共同之處的。例如，我有一個亞洲妻子。

評論翻譯

原創(chuàng)翻譯：龍騰網 http://www.ltaaa.com 翻譯：翻譯加工廠 轉載請注明出處

-------------譯者：qinxiangyuan-審核者：龍騰翻譯總管------------

【油管處評論】

Xander Diesel
Now this is comedy...true and optimicism..

這才是單口喜劇.....真實又樂觀.....

Lord of the belts: The return of the KING
Most Chinese who aren't from northern China are indeed like a light brown colour. The irony in America is that literally like 90% of "white" people without a tan or fake tan are actually like a pink complexion. Yet they never called themselves the colour they are instead the choose white as they think it sounds cool. Yet I have never seen a white person in my life it's even more ridiculous when some Japanese and Mongolia or far northern Chinese people who are like a pale cream colour yet still called "yellows" by literally a tanned looking European American. It's quite crazy it's like back the front.
I notice also an Asian can be tanned and nearly all are in south east Asia and southern China this tan is also justified and called "yellow" by Americans. Yet someone in America can have the exact same tan and skin tone and instead because their ancestry is European it will be deemed "lovely golden".?
You can see that inside their head they will just distort anything to be what they want it to be. Instead of what it actually is.

大多數(shù)非北方的中國人的膚色看上去的確是淺棕色的。諷刺的是，沒有曬黑或特意美黑的美國“白人”90%膚色實際上是粉色的。然而，他們不會稱自己為粉色，而是選擇白色，因為這聽起來更酷。我一生中從未見過一個真正的白人，更可笑的是，一些日本人、蒙古人和中國北方人有著淺奶油色的皮膚，但仍然被一個曬得黝黑的歐洲裔美國人稱為“黃皮膚”。簡直是前后倒置般的瘋狂。亞洲人也可以被曬黑，中國南方人和東南亞人的這種曬黑了的膚色也被美國人稱為“黃”。然而，某些美國人的膚色和他們完全一樣，卻因為他們的祖先來自歐洲，所以他們的膚色被視作“金棕色”?？梢钥吹?，這些人的大腦會將任何東西扭曲成他們想要的樣子，而不管它們實際上是什么樣子。

maxglide
The Great Wall ABSOLUTELY worked for China. You ever hear of even one Mexican breaching the great wall?

長城對中國來說是絕對有用的，你難道有聽說過墨西哥人突破了長城嗎（反問）？

-------------譯者：六韜516-審核者：龍騰翻譯總管------------

Badamgarav Dovchin
Yup the wall doesn’t work. I am a Mongolian : )

對，長城沒有用。我是蒙古人我知道:)。

BL213
He made me realize that I am not Asian but actually a Mexican guy. Just a different shade of brown. Hit me up Mexican girls d84;

他讓我意識到我不是亞洲人，而是墨西哥人。只是深淺程度不同的棕色（皮膚），贊我上去吧，墨西哥女孩們。

Mario Godoy
He said all the stuff I'm scared to say in public!! He was hilarious! Great job man!

他說了我不敢在公共場合說的話！太逗了！干的漂亮！

-------------譯者：泯徹？無道鼎革！-審核者：龍騰翻譯總管------------

Randy Riggs
"Just standing here I'm brown. When I'm cold I'm brown. When I'm hot I'm brown. When I'm sick I'm brown. And when I'm dead I'll be brown.
"You standing there are pink. When you're cold you're blue. When you're hot you're red. When you're sick you're green. And when you're dead you're gray.
"And you call me 'colored'."

“我站在這兒時是棕色的。我冷時是棕色的。我熱時是棕色的。我生病時是棕色的。死后我仍然是棕色的?！?br/>“你站在那兒時是粉色的。你冷時是藍色的。你熱時就紅了。生病時你是綠色的。當你死了，你又是灰色的?！?br/>“然后你還說我是‘有色人種’?！?br/>
Beef Pho
His punchlines are not what you think it will be which is why they were so damn funny especially when he mentioned what he had in common with a white guy. ?????? Did not see that coming.

他的笑話總是不按常理出牌出乎你的意料，這就是為什么這些笑話如此有趣，尤其是當他提到他和白人的共同點時。哈哈哈，沒想到會是那樣的共同點。

JP M
There is a great laugher in the audience! Love that!

觀眾們都笑翻了，效果滿分！

Murad Diab
Ready to have your mind blown.?
He’s 48 years old.

做好被嚇到的準備吧。他今年48歲了。

Alpha0727
LOL I have been saying the same thing since Trump wanted his wall. He just needed to ask China about their Great Wall. Or look at the other walls built throughout history.

哈哈，自特朗普想要建墻后，我jiu一直在說同樣的話，那就是他只需要問問中國關于長城的事，或者看看歷史上建造的其他城墻就行了。