TED演講者：Anil Ananthaswamy / 阿尼爾·阿南塔斯瓦米

演講標(biāo)題：Where does your sense of self come from? A scientific look / 你的自我感從何而來？從科學(xué)的視角分析

內(nèi)容概要：Our memories and bodies give us clues about who we are, but what happens when this guidance shifts? In this mind-bending talk, science writer Anil Ananthaswamy shares how the experiences of "altered selves" -- resulting from schizophrenia, Alzheimer's, foreign limb syndrome or other conditions -- shed light on the constructed nature of identity. He breaks down where our sense of self comes from and invites us to challenge our assumptions about who we are, with the aim of building a better you and a better world.

我們的記憶和身體告訴了我們“我們是誰”，但如果這個提示不再是如此呢？在這場令人大開眼界的演講中，科學(xué)作家阿尼爾·阿南塔斯瓦米（Anil Ananthaswamy）分享了“自我變體”的經(jīng)歷——源于精神分裂癥、阿爾茨海默病、外肢綜合征或其他疾病——如何揭開了自我認知的構(gòu)筑特質(zhì)的一角。他分析了自我感從何而來，邀請我們重新思考我們對“我是誰”的預(yù)設(shè)，一起打造一個更好的你、一個更好的世界。

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【1】About a decade ago, I met someone who had experienced a few episodes of schizophrenia.

大約十年以前, 我遇到了一個 發(fā)作過好幾次精神分裂癥的人。

【2】They had felt that their sense of self, of what it feels like to be them, changing somewhat.

他/她感覺自己的自我感, 即感覺自己是什么, 發(fā)生了一些變化。

【3】The boundaries of their body began to feel a bit nebulous.

他/她身體的邊界 逐漸變得有些模糊。

【4】Even their psychological self felt a bit porous at times.

他/她心理上的自我 也時常感到千瘡百孔。

【5】They were experiencing what could be called an altered sense of self.

他/她正在經(jīng)歷的 正是“自我意識改變”的過程。

【6】Over the years, I met many such brave and insightful people who shared what it's like to live with their altered selves.

多年以來,我遇到過 許多勇敢又有想法的人, 他們與我分享了 和“自我的變體”共存的經(jīng)歷。

【7】And by "altered," I mean "different,"

我說的“變體”,指的是“不同”,

【8】not "deficient,"

而不是“有缺陷”,

【9】while acknowledging that coping with altered selves can be a struggle at times.

雖然我承認 與自我的變體和諧相處 肯定有些煎熬。

【10】So speaking with them, and with theologians, philosophers, neuroscientists, I came to understand that this self that each one of us takes oneself to be is not as real as it seems.

通過與他們交流, 與神學(xué)家、哲學(xué)家、 神經(jīng)科學(xué)家交流, 我逐漸意識到 我們認知中的那個“自己” 沒有看起來那么真實。

【11】The self is a slippery subject.

“自我”是個難以捉摸的東西。

【12】We all intuitively know what it means.

我們感覺都知道它是什么意思。

【13】It's there when we wake up.

我們起床時,它在那兒。

【14】It disappears when we fall asleep.

我們睡覺時,它消失了。

【15】It reappears in our dreams.

它會在我們的夢中再次出現(xiàn)。

【16】It's what makes us who we are.

它讓我們成為了我們自己。

【17】It seems solid, unchanging, permanent.

感覺它堅實、穩(wěn)定、永久。

【18】And yet, we can examine aspects of the self that seem real to us, and ask, "Just how real are they?"

我們可以檢驗自我中 對我們來說比較真實的地方, 問一問:“有多真實呢？”

【19】Take, for instance, the question "Who am I?"

比如這個問題:“我是誰？”

【20】The most likely answer you will get or give to such a question will be in the form of a story.

你很有可能會以一個故事的形式 回答或解決這個問題。

【21】We tell others -- and indeed, ourselves -- stories about who we are.

我們告訴別人 其實是我們自己 關(guān)于“我是誰”的故事。

【22】We take our stories to be sacrosanct.

我們會覺得 自己的故事是神圣的。

【23】We are our stories.

我們就是我們的故事。

【24】But a condition that most of us, sadly, will be familiar with - Alzheimer's disease - tells us something quite different.

但是不幸的是,有一種 我們都十分熟悉的疾病 阿爾茨海默?。ɡ夏臧V呆） 講述了不一樣的故事。

【25】Alzheimer's begins by affecting short-term memory.

阿爾茨海默病始于 對短期記憶的影響。

【26】Think about what that does to someone's story.

想象一下這會 如何影響一個人的故事。

【27】In order for our stories to form, to grow, something that just happens to us has to first enter short-term memory, and then, get incorporated into what's called long-term episodic memory.

要產(chǎn)生、延續(xù)我們的故事, 剛發(fā)生在我們身上的事 首先會進入短期記憶, 再融入長期情節(jié)記憶。

【28】It has to become an episode in our narrative.

它會成為我們故事中的一個情節(jié)。

【29】But what if the experience doesn't even enter short-term memory?

但如果這個經(jīng)歷根本 沒有進入短期記憶會怎么樣？

【30】That's exactly what Alzheimer's does.

這正是阿爾茨海默病的癥狀。

【31】In the beginning, Alzheimer's impairs the formation of short-term memory.

病情早期, 阿爾茨海默病 會破壞短期記憶的形成。

【32】It impairs the growth of the narrative.

它會阻礙劇情的發(fā)展。

【33】It's as if our stories begin stalling upon the onset of the disease.

就像一患病 我們的故事就停滯不前了。

【34】Eventually, Alzheimer's eats away at all the long-term memories.

最終,阿爾茨海默病 會蠶食所有的長期記憶。

【35】So if you were to meet someone with mid-stage Alzheimer's, they will likely be able to tell you stories about who they are.

如果你見到了一位 阿爾茨海默中期患者, 他們有可能還能 給你講講他們是誰的故事。

【36】But if you know their real stories, you'll be able to tell that they sometimes scramble up their narrative, that they sometimes mix up the sequence of episodes from their lives.

但是如果你了解他們真實的故事, 你就能看出他們有時 在胡說八道他們的故事, 有時會搞混人生片段的順序。

【37】It's as if they are recalling their own stories in ways that are not quite accurate.

就像他們在以一種不太準確的方式 回憶自己的故事。

【38】It's important, at this stage, to realize that there is still a person experiencing that scrambled narrative.

這個階段重要的是 我們得意識到有這么一個人 還在親身經(jīng)歷這個亂七八糟的故事。

【39】Sadly, Alzheimer's goes on to destroy one's narrative, and so much more.

不幸的是,阿爾茨海默病 還會繼續(xù)摧毀這個故事, 愈演愈烈。

【40】And towards the end, it's unclear whether there is still someone experiencing something, because the person cannot communicate verbally anymore.

到了晚期, 已經(jīng)分不清那個人 還在不在經(jīng)歷這一切了, 因為他/她已經(jīng)無法進行言語交流。

【41】And yet, Alzheimer's tells us that these stories that we take ourselves to be, what philosophers call the "narrative self,"

但是, 阿爾茨海默病告訴了我們, 這些講述我們自我認知的故事, 哲學(xué)家稱之為“敘事自我”,

【42】these are spun by the brain and body.

它們是由大腦和身體運作的。

【43】They are constructions.

它們是一種“建筑”。

【44】Sometimes, the constructions are disrupted, even destroyed.

這些建筑有時被擾亂, 甚至被破壞。

【45】And while that is horrific for the person experiencing it, and for their caregivers, it is nonetheless a window onto the constructed nature of our narrative self.

雖然對經(jīng)歷這些的患者本人 和看護人來說,這是件可怕的事, 但是,這也能讓我們借此 對敘事自我的構(gòu)筑特質(zhì) 稍作了解。

【46】And when the construction goes wrong, we perceive our own stories in ways that are not quite real.

如果這個建筑出了故障, 我們就會對我們的故事 產(chǎn)生不太真實的認知。

【47】From the narrative self, let's talk about our body.

說完敘事自我, 我們來說說我們的身體。

【48】Let's take a very basic aspect of our bodily self.

我們來談一談身體自我 最基本的方面。

【49】This feeling we all have, that we are owners of our body and body parts, that our bodies and body parts belong to us.

我們都會有這種感覺, 覺得我們是我們身體和部位的主人, 覺得我們的身體和部位都屬于我們。

【50】It seems such a strange thing to think that it could even be otherwise.

如果不這么覺得就太奇怪了。

【51】If I were to ask you, "Does your hand belong to you?"

如果我問你: “你的手屬于你嗎？”

【52】you're going to say, "Of course it does. What a foolish question."

你會說:“當(dāng)然,這問題也太傻了?！?/p>

【53】But not everyone would agree.

但并不是人人都這么覺得。

【54】Early on in my research, a neuropsychologist alerted me to a condition called xenomelia, or foreign limb syndrome.

在我的研究初期, 一位神經(jīng)心理學(xué)家 讓我突然注意到了 或稱“外肢綜合征”。

【55】You may have heard of something called phantom limb syndrome, in which people who have had an amputation feel the presence of that limb, sometimes.

你可能會聽說過“幻肢綜合征”, 接受過截肢的人 有時會感覺到那塊肢體的存在。

【56】Xenomelia is somewhat of an opposite condition, where people feel like some part of their body - usually the extremities, their hands or legs - don't belong to them.

身體完整性認同障礙癥 大概是這種情況的反面, 患者感覺身體的某個部位, 通常是四肢,即手或腳, 不屬于他們自己。

【57】So this neuropsychologist talked of phantom limb syndrome as animation without incarnation.

這位神經(jīng)心理學(xué)家 將幻肢綜合征類比為 沒有具象的動畫。

【58】So the limb is gone, it's not incarnate anymore, but it's animated in your mind.

沒有了這塊肢體, 它就失去了實體的形態(tài), 但是在你的腦海里, 它還是動態(tài)的。

【59】And he talked of xenomelia as incarnation without animation.

他將身體完整性認同障礙癥 類比為沒有動畫的具象。

【60】So the limb is present, healthy even, incarnate, and yet, in your own mind, it feels like it doesn't belong to you.

肢體在那兒,健康, 看得見摸得著, 但是在你的腦海里, 感覺它不是你的。

【61】So in xenomelia, the brain and bodily processes that give rise to our sense of ownership of our body parts, they're misfiring, so to speak, and the consequences can be serious.

身體完整性認同障礙癥 患者的大腦和身體 造成我們對身體部位的擁有感 可以說是啞火了, 后果很嚴重。

【62】People with xenomelia will sometimes take extreme measures to get rid of, to amputate their foreign-seeming body parts.

身體完整性認同障礙癥患者 有時會采取極端措施, 除掉、切掉他們感覺 不屬于自己的身體部位。

【63】From the perspective of the self, though, xenomelia is telling us something very profound.

盡管如此,從自我的角度, 身體完整性認同障礙癥 還是給我們透露了一些重要的信息。

【64】It's telling us that something as basic as the sense of ownership of our own body parts is a construction.

它告訴我們,就算是 我們自己身體部位的擁有感 這么基本的東西 都是一種“建筑”。

【65】And sometimes, the construction goes wrong, and we perceive our own bodies in ways that are not quite real.

有些時候,建筑跑偏了, 我們就會對自己的身體 產(chǎn)生不太真實的認知。

【66】Let's take another aspect of our bodily self.

我們來看身體自我的另一方面,

【67】It's called the sense of agency.

即“主導(dǎo)感” （sense of agency）。

【68】So when I do something like pick up a cup, I have this implicit feeling that I am the agent of that action, that I have willed that action into existence.

當(dāng)我做一些動作, 如拿起一個杯子時, 我會默認我就是這個動作的主導(dǎo)人, 是我主動實施了這個行為。

【69】That feeling is the sense of agency.

這種感覺就是“主導(dǎo)感”。

【70】But someone with schizophrenia may not have that feeling, always.

但是精神分裂癥患者 就不會一直擁有這種感覺。

【71】Someone with schizophrenia might do something and not feel like they are the agent of that action.

精神分裂癥患者 做了某些事,但不覺得 自己是這個行為的主導(dǎo)人。

【72】So schizophrenia tells us that it is possible to be someone who does something but doesn't have an accompanying sense of agency.

精神分裂癥告訴我們, 有可能你確實是做了某件事的人, 但你沒有隨之而來的主導(dǎo)感。

【73】So just like the narrative self and the sense of ownership of body parts, the sense of agency is also a construction, and it, too, can fail.

就如同敘事自我和 身體部位的擁有感, 主導(dǎo)感也是一種“建筑”, 它也有可能會倒塌。

【74】So you can see where this is going.

你可以看出我敘述的邏輯。

【75】Let me take one more example to drive home this point.

我想再舉一個例子解釋這一點。

【76】Let's talk of what it feels to be a body here and now.

我們來談?wù)勛鳛榇藭r此刻 在這里的一副身體是什么感覺。

【77】Not the feeling of being a story, but the feeling of being a body in the present moment.

不是以故事的形式, 而是當(dāng)下作為一副身體的感覺。

【78】Psychologists estimate that about five percent of the general population will, at some point in their lives, have an out-of-body experience.

心理學(xué)家估計 大約有 5% 的人口 在人生的某個節(jié)點 會有靈魂出竅的體驗。

【79】Let's assume that all of us right now are having an in-body experience.

假設(shè)大家現(xiàn)在靈魂都在體內(nèi)。

【80】But what that means is having this feeling of being in a body, being anchored to a body, occupying a certain volume of space and looking at the world from behind our eyes.

我指的是 你有在這個身體里的感覺, 和這副身體相連, 占據(jù)了一定的空間, 透過我們的雙眼 觀察這個世界。

【81】But if you are having an out-of-body experience, you could possibly be feeling that you're up near the ceiling, looking down at your own body sitting in the chair below.

但如果你靈魂出竅了, 你就會感覺飛上了天花板, 俯視你自己的身體 坐在椅子上。

【82】People do report such experiences, and mild versions of this have been replicated in labs.

確實有人說他們有過這樣的經(jīng)歷, 這種經(jīng)歷的輕量級版本 已經(jīng)在實驗室中復(fù)刻出來了。

【83】But if you think, like I do, that out-of-body experiences are the outcome of brain processes that are misfiring, then it stands to reason that the experience of being in-body, of being embodied, is itself a construction, and that, too, can come apart.

但是如果你像我這么想, 靈魂出竅只是 大腦程序出故障的結(jié)果, 那就可以理解 在身體之中的感覺、 有肉體的實感 本身也是一個“建筑”, 它也會分崩離析。

【84】So what are these experiences of altered selves telling us?

這些自我的變體 告訴了我們什么？

【85】They're telling us that just about everything we take to be real about ourselves - "real" in the sense that we think we are always experiencing undeniable truths about our bodies, our stories - well, that's just not the case.

它們告訴我們 我們以為我們自己身上 真實的一切 “真實”在于我們以為圍繞 我們的身體、我們的故事 發(fā)生的都是毋庸置疑的事實 但不是這么回事。

【86】So when theologians and philosophers tell us that the self is an illusion, this is partly what they mean.

雖然神學(xué)家和哲學(xué)家 告訴我們自我只是幻想, 但這只是對他們的片面解讀。

【87】You may have realized by now that there still remains the question of who or what is doing the experiencing, even in the case of altered selves.

你可能已經(jīng)發(fā)現(xiàn) 還剩一個問題沒有回答, 是誰或什么在經(jīng)歷這一切, 自我的變體也有這個問題。

【88】This experiencing "I" in the question "Who am I?"

在“我是誰”這個問題里, 這個親歷者“我”

【89】is at the heart of the debate about the self.

是“自我”的爭議核心。

【90】This experiencing "I" doesn't go away if one or a few aspects of the self are disrupted.

如果只是自我的 一層或多層被擾亂了, 這個親歷者“我”還會在那兒。

【91】But what if all of the aspects of the self that comprise us were to be disrupted?

但如果組成我們自我的所有層面 都被擾亂了,會怎么樣？

【92】Would the experiencing "I" disappear?

親歷者“我”會消失嗎？

【93】We don't have a satisfactory answer to that question, yet.

我們就此問題還沒有一個 令人滿意的答案。

【94】It's possible that the experiencing "I" is also an illusion, in the sense of being a construction, a construction without a constructor.

有可能親歷者“我”也是個幻想, 也是個“建筑”, 一個沒有建設(shè)者的建筑。

【95】That debate, however, is somewhat unresolved.

但是這個爭議依舊沒有定論。

【96】think that the self has no reality outside of the brain and body.

覺得在大腦和身體之外, 自我是不現(xiàn)實的。

【97】I think that the experiencing "I" will not persist after the body is gone.

我認為,身體消逝之后, 親歷者“我”就不存在了。

【98】So what does one make of such knowledge?

那知道了這點, 會有一些什么結(jié)論呢？

【99】Well, firstly, these ideas will feel liberating to some and might sit heavily upon others.

首先,這些想法 會讓一些人擺脫束縛, 也可能會讓一些人壓力倍增。

【100】Regardless, I think we can all attend to the stories that we think we are.

但是無論如何,我認為我們 可以關(guān)注我們對自己的認知故事。

【101】Our feelings and emotions are modulated by our stories, and in turn, our feelings and emotions become part of our stories.

我們的故事調(diào)節(jié)著 我們的感受和情感, 反過來,我們的感受和情感 也會融入我們的故事。

【102】And our stories, our narratives, are not just cognitive - they live in our bodies, and our bodies structure and shape our stories.

而我們的故事,我們的情節(jié) 不只是認知上的, 它們也會在我們的身體里上演, 我們的身體組織、 塑造了我們的故事。

【103】So knowing all this, recognizing the constructive nature of it all, maybe we can hold on less tightly to our stories.

知道了以上這幾點, 知道了自我的構(gòu)筑特質(zhì), 也許我們就可以不要這么 牢牢掌控我們的故事了。

【104】Maybe we can learn to let go.

也許我們可以學(xué)著放手。

【105】But that's easier said than done, because the thing that is doing the letting go is also the thing that has to be let go of.

但是說起來容易做起來難, 因為去放手的東西 就是要被放手的東西。

【106】Maybe we can just marvel at the efforts of people over millennia, from the Buddha sitting under the Bodhi tree to the modern philosopher and neuroscientist who has asked themselves the question "Who am I?"

也許我們只需驚嘆于 人們在過去千年里付出的努力, 有坐在菩提樹下的釋迦牟尼, 也有現(xiàn)代的哲學(xué)家和神經(jīng)學(xué)家, 他們都在問自己 “我是誰”這個問題。

【107】But most of all, I think we owe a debt to those amongst us who bravely bear witness to our altered selves - whether we do so voluntarily, like monks and nuns do when they meditate, or whether it's brought upon us by biology and circumstance.

但是最重要的是, 我覺得我們都該感謝那些 勇敢證實其他自我的人, 無論他們是自愿的, 比如僧侶、修女冥想時所做, 還是由生理或環(huán)境帶來的。

【108】There is something remarkably robust about the processes that give rise to the totality of our sense of self.

建立整個自我感的過程中 有非常堅實的部分。

【109】But there's something frighteningly fragile about them too.

但也有非常脆弱的部分。

【110】They can crack.

它會破裂。

【111】And any one of us, at any time in our lives, may have to confront such cracks.

我們每個人, 在人生的每個階段, 都有可能會面臨這樣的破裂。

【112】And that knowledge, I believe, should make us empathetic towards those of us dealing with altered selves.

我相信了解了這一點, 能讓我們對那些 正在經(jīng)歷其他自我的人 更感同身受。

【113】But I also believe that altered selves should not be seen as the outcome of deficits, or as the outcome of a lack of attributes considered normal.

我也相信,自我的變體 不該被視為缺陷造成的后果, 不該被視為缺少某些被認為是 “正?！钡奶刭|(zhì)而產(chǎn)生的后果。

【114】They are different ways of being, and it's the willingness of some of us to confront the self's constructed nature that is helping make sense of the self for all of us.

它們只是存在的不同形式, 正是因為有些人 愿意面對自我的構(gòu)筑特質(zhì), 我們所有人才能更加理解自我。

【115】Thank you.

謝謝。

【116】Thank you.