? ? ?Although I was only a small cog in the organisation, about the?activities of which, quite properly, I knew very little, the journeys I undertook?involved some danger. In the first place, there was the ever?present risk that our organisation, which published the illegal?newspaper Vrij Nederland, might be penetrated by the German?security police and that one day, calling at an address with a parcel,?I might find the Gestapo waiting for me. Indeed, during the period I worked?for the group a number of its top organizers?were arrested, but?some survived and managed to resume the publication comparatively?quickly. I was lucky that among the people with whom I was in?immediate contact no one was arrested.

【盡管我只是這個地下組織的普通一員，我對其中的機密知道得很少，但我所從事的活動還是有一些危險的。首先，我們組織出版了非法報紙《荷蘭自由報》，這一直存在著風險:我們組織可能會被德國安全警察察覺，有一天，我拿著一個包裹去一個地址，就可能會發(fā)現(xiàn)蓋世太保在等著我。事實上，在我為該地下組織工作期間，該組織的一些主要領導人被逮捕，但有些人幸存下來，并設法讓報紙迅速地恢復了出版。幸運的是，在與我有直接聯(lián)系的人中，沒有一個人被逮捕?！?/span>

? ? ?Another ever present danger was the elaborate inspection system,?set up by the occupation authorities with the assistance of the Dutch?police, to combat the black market. Passengers on trains and other?forms of public transport frequently had their luggage checked and on?the roads cars and cyclists were stopped to see what goods they were?carrying. I had, therefore, to be constantly on my guard for sudden?checks and ready to take evasive action. I usually put my parcel or?briefcase in a luggage rack some distance from where I was sitting so?that if there was a check, I could always pretend that it did not belong?to me. What helped also, I think, was that I looked extremely young?for?my age. When people saw me with my satchel, I don't think it occurred?to them that I was anything else but a schoolboy on his way?to or from school.

【另一個一直存在的危險是占領當局在荷蘭警察的協(xié)助下為打擊黑市而建立的復雜的檢查系統(tǒng)?；疖嚭推渌步煌üぞ呱系某丝徒洺１粰z查他們的行李，道路上的汽車和騎自行車的人經常被檢查他們攜帶了什么貨物。因此，我必須時刻保持警惕，以防突然的檢查，并隨時準備采取規(guī)避行動。我通常把包裹或公文包放在離我坐的地方有一定距離的行李架上，這樣如果有檢查，我就可以假裝它不是我的。我認為，我看起來比實際年齡年輕，這也對我有幫助。當人們看到我背著書包時，我想他們只會想到我不過是一個上學或放學的學生?！?/span>

? ? ?Once I was nearly caught through my own carelessness. It?happened in the town of Assen?where I called regularly at a cafe, the?owner of which was a member of the organisation. In a backroom he gave?me a parcel with newspapers. As I was in a hurry to catch the?train so as to be able to return home that evening I hastily transferred the?newspapers to my briefcase. There was no room for about six, so I stuffed?them between my shirt and pullover under my raincoat and ran?to?catch the tram to the station. Just as I reached the tram stop the?papers worked loose and scattered all around me. The only other?person waiting for the tram was an elderly German officer. As I knelt?down in a frantic attempt to collect the newspapers before he could see?what they were, he also stooped down and began to help me to pick?them up. He handed them to me without even looking at them. I thanked?him profusely and boarded the tram. I didn't tell any of my?friends about this adventure.

【有一次我差點因為自己的粗心而被抓住。事情發(fā)生在阿森鎮(zhèn)，我經常去那里的一家咖啡館，店主是這個地下組織的成員。在咖啡館后面的房間里，他給了我一個裝著報紙的包裹。因為我要趕火車，以便晚上回家，所以我匆忙地把報紙放進我的公文包里。有大約六張沒有地方放，所以我把它們塞在襯衫和套衫之間，再蓋上雨衣，然后跑去趕去車站的電車。我剛到有軌電車車站，那些文件就散開了，散落在我周圍。另外唯一一個在等電車的人是一位年長的德國軍官。在他還沒看清報紙是什么之前，我就跪下來瘋狂地想把它們撿起來，他也彎下腰幫我把它們撿起來。他看都不看就把它們遞給了我。我再三謝過他，就上了電車。我沒有告訴任何一個朋友我的這次冒險經歷?！?/span>

? ? ?The illegal press fulfilled an important function in Holland in the?years of the occupation when all political parties, except the Nazi?party, were banned and the official press was completely under?German control. Everything that the official press was not allowed to?publish found expression in the illegal press: the hatred of national-socialism, indignation at the German terror, the thirst for freedom?and the strong faith in the ultimate defeat of the enemy. It called for resistance, spiritual resistance always, resistance in deed whenever?possible. Holland is a small, densely populated country, highly?cultivated with no impenetrable forests or inaccessible mountains to give?refuge to partisan bands, harassing the enemy. Here the battle?had to be fought in a different, more secret and modest way, avoiding?open confrontation with the enemy forces. The 'Vrij Nederland'?group, like other similar groups, did not only publish and distribute an?illegal newspaper, but tried to organise intelligence networks and?set up radio transmitters to supply the Dutch government and our?British allies with intelligence on enemy troop movements, fortifications,?headquarters and airfields. It arranged for addresses where allied air?crews who had been shot down and managed to bale out could be?hidden, and organised escape routes to enable them to return to?England. Of most of these activities I was not aware at the time and?I learned about them only afterwards.

【在荷蘭被占領期間，除納粹黨外的所有政黨都被取締，官方媒體完全處于德國的控制之下，非法媒體在荷蘭發(fā)揮了重要作用。官方媒體不允許發(fā)表的一切都在非法媒體中得到了表達:對納粹的仇恨、對德國恐怖主義的憤慨、對自由的渴望和對最終擊敗敵人的強烈信念。它呼吁反抗，是精神上的永久的反抗，只要可能，就一定要反抗。荷蘭是一個人口稠密的小國家，耕地肥沃，沒有密不成林的森林，也沒有難以到達的山脈，可以為游擊隊提供庇護，騷擾敵人。在這里，戰(zhàn)斗必須以一種不同的、更秘密、更溫和的方式進行，避免與敵軍公開對抗?！昂商m自由聯(lián)盟”組織和其他類似組織一樣，不僅出版和分發(fā)一份非法報紙，而且試圖組織情報網，設立無線電發(fā)射機，向荷蘭政府和我們的英國盟友提供有關敵軍動向、防御工事、總部和機場的情報。它為被擊落并設法逃生的盟軍機組人員安排了藏身的地址，并組織了逃生路線，使他們能夠返回英國。大多數(shù)的這些行動我當時都不知道，直到后來才知道。】

? ? ?On my travels through the country, I increasingly had to pass?through or visit towns and villages which had been put out of bounds?for Jews by the German authorities. This was part of a carefully?thought-out system of humiliating measures, designed to isolate and?harass the Jewish population, to make life impossible for them, prior?to deporting them to Poland for the 'final solution'. Although like the?vast majority of the Dutch people, I loathed these measures, I did not?feel myself directly affected by them. There were several reasons for?this. In the first place I looked upon myself as a Christian and not a?Jew. After all, I had not even known I had Jewish blood till I was?thirteen. I had not had a Jewish upbringing, was not a member of any?Jewish religious community or organisation and had no Jewish relatives?in Holland. My name, which was then Behar, was a Jewish name -indeed, it is of Hebrew origin - but it was hardly known in northern?Europe and not immediately associated with Jewishness, as are such?names as Cohen, Rosenzweig or Goldstein. Besides, I was living?under an assumed name. Although I am dark, I do not look?particularly Jewish and it would not be immediately obvious that I?have Jewish blood. If the Germans were looking for me at all, they?were looking for me as a British subject and not as a Jew. The only?way therefore the persecution of the Jews affected me was that it?increased my hatred for the Nazis and all they stood for even more.

【我在這個國家行動時，越來越多地不得不經過或訪問那些被德國當局禁止猶太人進入的城鎮(zhèn)和村莊。這是一個經過深思熟慮的羞辱性措施系統(tǒng)的一部分，旨在孤立猶太人，使他們不可能正常生活，然后將他們驅逐到波蘭以尋求“最終解決方案”。雖然我和絕大多數(shù)荷蘭人一樣，厭惡這些措施，但我并不覺得自己受到了直接影響。這有幾個原因。首先，我認為自己是一個基督徒，而不是猶太人。畢竟，我直到十三歲才知道自己有猶太血統(tǒng)。我沒有受過猶太教育，也不是任何猶太宗教團體或組織的成員，在荷蘭也沒有猶太親戚。我的名字當時叫貝哈爾，是一個猶太人的名字——事實上，它源于希伯來語——但在北歐幾乎不為人所知，不會立刻與猶太主義聯(lián)系在一起，就像科恩、羅森茨韋格和戈德斯坦這樣的名字一樣。而且，我用的是假名。雖然我膚色黝黑，但我看起來并不是特別的猶太人，也不會一眼就看出我有猶太血統(tǒng)。如果德國人要找我的話，他們應該是在找一個英國公民，而不是猶太人。因此，對猶太人的迫害對我的唯一影響是，它增加了我對納粹和他們所代表的一切的仇恨?！?/span>

? ? ?One Sunday morning in midsummer 1941, shortly after I had?started work for Max, the news came that the German armies had?crossed the frontiers of the Soviet Union. With fanfares of trumpets?and much Wagnerian music, it was announced that the Fuhrer?had decided to rid Europe and the world once and for all of the Red?Menace and put an end to the Jewish-Communist conspiracy to?dominate the world. That day, posters appeared everywhere depicting?the German eagle swooping down on the many-headed Red monster.?In the evening we heard Churchill on the BBC welcome a mighty and?valiant new ally to the common cause.

【1941年仲夏的一個星期天早晨，就在我開始為麥克斯工作不久之后，傳來了德國軍隊已經越過蘇聯(lián)邊境的消息。伴隨著嘹亮的號聲和瓦格納式的音樂，元首宣布，他已決定一勞永逸地清除歐洲和世界的紅色威脅，并結束猶太與共產主義統(tǒng)治世界的陰謀。那天，到處都出現(xiàn)了描繪德國鷹撲向多頭紅色怪獸的海報。晚上，我們聽到丘吉爾在BBC上歡迎一個強大而勇敢的新盟友加入我們的共同事業(yè)。】

? ? ?The news inspired new hope and generated a wave of optimism.?Everyone thought this was the beginning of the end. What Napoleon?couldn't do, Hitler would not be able to do either. The first months?of the Russian campaign, however, brought nothing to cheer us.?The German armies seemed indeed invincible as they swept along the?entire front deep into Soviet territory and presently stood before the?gates of Moscow and Leningrad. It was not until the Soviet winter?offensive of 1941, which halted the German advance, that hope?returned.

【這一消息帶來了新的希望，并引發(fā)了一波樂觀情緒。每個人都認為這是結束的開始。拿破侖做不到的事，希特勒也做不到。然而，蘇聯(lián)戰(zhàn)役的頭幾個月并沒有帶來什么值得我們歡呼的東西。德國軍隊似乎確實是不可戰(zhàn)勝的，他們沿著整個前線深入蘇聯(lián)領土，目前站在莫斯科和列寧格勒門前。直到1941年蘇聯(lián)的冬季攻勢阻止了德軍的前進，這種希望才重燃。】

? ? ?Whenever I happened to be in the neighbourhood, I visited my?grandmother. Her health was deteriorating. Patriotically minded and?of independent character, the defeat and occupation of Holland?caused her much pain. She worried about the fate of my mother and?sisters and found it difficult to cope with the increasing food shortages?and the lack of fuel. Her strength began to give way and she died in?the spring of 1942 on her seventy-seventh birthday. Her death was a?big blow to me. Together with my mother, she was the person closest?to me. Now that she was dead, I felt that I could leave the country?with a quiet conscience and attempt what I had long dreamt of.

【每當我碰巧在附近時，我就去看望我的祖母。她的健康在惡化。荷蘭的戰(zhàn)敗和被占領給她帶來了巨大的痛苦。她擔心我母親和姐姐們的命運，并且很難應付日益嚴重的食物短缺和燃料短缺。1942年春天，她77歲生日的時候去世了。她的死對我是個很大的打擊。她和我媽媽一起，是我最親近的人?，F(xiàn)在她死了，我覺得我可以問心無愧地離開這個國家，去嘗試一下我長久以來的夢想了。】

? ? ?Like many other young people in Holland during the occupation,?I had a strong wish to escape from the country and make my way to?England. Especially since my involvement in resistance work this wish?had become stronger. I had ambitious plans of reaching England,?getting a proper training there and then returning to Holland as an?agent to act as a link between the resistance movement and the intelligence?services in Britain. In addition to this dream there was, of?course, the hope of seeing my mother and sisters again.

【像荷蘭被占領期間的許多其他年輕人一樣，我強烈地希望逃離這個國家，到英國去。特別是在我參與抵抗工作之后，這種愿望變得更加強烈。我有一個雄心勃勃的計劃，要去英國，在那里接受適當?shù)挠柧?，然后回到荷蘭，作為一名特工，充當?shù)挚惯\動和英國情報機構之間的聯(lián)系。當然，除了這個夢想，還有再次見到母親和姐姐們的希望。】

? ? ?My friends and I had often discussed the possibility of escape.?We had explored ways of getting hold of a boat and crossing the North?Sea. This proved very difficult. The Germans had forbidden private?boats in any waters communicating with the sea and were keeping a?strict watch all along the coast. From time to time we heard rumours?about people who had got away by other routes. Some had reached?Switzerland and Spain through France. Others had managed to reach?Sweden. There were even stories that RAF aircraft had landed on one?of the Dutch lakes and picked up people, but for that one obviously?had to be an important person.

【我和我的朋友們經常討論逃跑的可能性。我們計劃設法弄到一條船，穿過北海。這被證明是非常困難的。德國人禁止私人船只進入任何與海相通的水域，并在沿岸嚴密監(jiān)視。我們不時聽到謠言，說有人從其他路線逃走了。有些人通過法國到達瑞士和西班牙。其他人則設法抵達瑞典。甚至有故事說，英國皇家空軍的飛機降落在荷蘭的一個湖泊上，并搭載了一些人，但顯然，這些人必須是重要的人物?！?/span>

? ? ?In the end I decided to talk to Max. He listened to me in his usual?attentive and patient way. He could fully understand my desire to go?to England, though he would be sorry to see me go. He knew nothing?about escape routes himself, but he might be able to put me in touch?with somebody in the south of the country, who, he thought, could?help. Some weeks later I got a message to meet him in the station?restaurant in Breda. I was to take my passport with me. When I arrived?Max was waiting for me in the company of a young man of about?thirty. He introduced himself as de Bie, a name well known in?that part of the country, and turned out to be the owner of a large tree?nursery in the village of Zundert, just on the Dutch side of the border?with Belgium. He said that Max had told him about me and that he?was?willing to help. A small escape party was shortly leaving for?Switzerland and he would try to have me included, but the decision?did not rest with him. He suggested that I should wind up my affairs?and come south to be ready to leave as soon as the word was given.?He could put me up in his house while I was waiting.

【最后，我決定和麥克斯談談。他以他慣常的耐心聽我說話。他完全理解我想去英國的愿望，盡管他會為我的離去感到難過。他自己對逃跑路線毫無頭緒，但他也許能幫我聯(lián)系到這個國家南部的某個人，他想，那個人能幫上忙。幾周后，我收到了一個口信，要我在布雷達的車站餐廳見他。我必須帶上我的護照。我到達時，麥克斯正在等我，身邊有一個30歲左右的年輕人。他介紹自己叫德比，這個名字在比利時的那個地方很有名，后來發(fā)現(xiàn)他是津德爾特村樹林的主人，津德爾特村就在荷蘭與比利時接壤的那一邊。他說麥克斯跟他說過我的事，他愿意幫忙。一個小型逃亡隊伍即將前往瑞士，他想讓我也參加，但這個決定并不取決于他。他建議我結束手頭的事務，到南方來，準備一接到命令就離開。在我等待的時候，他可以讓我住在他家里?！?/span>