正文翻譯

What is the dark side of falling in love?

墜入愛(ài)河的黑暗面是什么？

評(píng)論翻譯

Yashasvi Kone, works at Tech Mahindra 在馬衡達(dá)信息做技術(shù)工作

Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love.
People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet."Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.

每段感情都有一個(gè)周期。在開(kāi)始的時(shí)候，你發(fā)現(xiàn)愛(ài)上她后。你期待他們的電話，想要享受他們的觸摸，喜歡他們的特質(zhì)。事實(shí)上，墜入愛(ài)河并不難。這完全是一種自然和自發(fā)的體驗(yàn)。其實(shí)什么都不用做，這就是為什么我們稱(chēng)之為“墜入愛(ài)河”。
有時(shí)，戀愛(ài)中的人會(huì)說(shuō)：“我被掃地出門(mén)了?！毕胂笠幌逻@個(gè)場(chǎng)景。它意味著你只是站在那兒；無(wú)所事事，然后有些事情發(fā)生在了你身上。

I remember Rex when we were alone asking me quite often if I liked Luke and I would always give her a vague answer. My reasons were I didn’t know him well and we only spoke in class and another was he had the fuckboy look and I didn’t want to start liking someone or have a crush on someone who I thought would end up hurting me in the future.
As more time would go on, Luke would start texting me more and we would hang out on our free periods alone. We noticed we got on really well. His personality was good and we had lots of common interests. We started getting the bus together and then when we was home we would play games together and would have phone calls that would last hours.
It was inevitable that the more I was getting to know him and the closer I got to him, I started to like him more than a friend. I distinctively remember trying to not hang out with him as much because I didn’t want my feeling to grow stronger and ruin our new friendship but to be completely honest I was worried he didn’t reciprocate the same feelings.

我記得當(dāng)只有我和雷克斯兩人在一起時(shí)，她經(jīng)常問(wèn)我是否喜歡盧克，我總是含糊其辭地回答她。我的理由是我不太了解他，我們只是在課堂上交談，另一個(gè)原因是他長(zhǎng)得很帥，我不想喜歡或者迷戀一個(gè)我認(rèn)為將來(lái)會(huì)傷害我的人。
隨著時(shí)間的推移，盧克開(kāi)始給我發(fā)更多的短信，我們會(huì)在空閑時(shí)間單獨(dú)出去玩。我們注意到我們相處得很好。他的性格很好，我們有很多共同的愛(ài)好。我們開(kāi)始一起搭公車(chē)，回家后我們一起玩游戲，打幾個(gè)小時(shí)的電話。
不可避免的是，我越了解他，越接近他，我對(duì)他的喜歡就會(huì)越來(lái)越超出朋友的范疇。我清楚地記得我試著盡量不再和他在一起，因?yàn)槲也幌胱屛业母星樽兊酶鼜?qiáng)烈，從而破壞我們的新友誼，但說(shuō)實(shí)話，我主要擔(dān)心他不喜歡我。

It was a usual day and we was waiting for the bus and I remember us taking about our past relationships and I jokingly told him I seem to only attract weird people and he replied ‘ I must be weird then’, my heart nearly jumped out of my chest. He felt the same way and before I could say anything his bus came and we were both separated. Neither of us brought it up for a week because I didn’t know how to bring it up and I didn’t want to talk to him about it in case he didn’t want to talk about it. When I had the courage I brought it up, we both spoke maturely and he told me he didn’t need to hear an answer and I could take as long as I want to tell him if I felt the same way or not, I was thankful because I didn’t feel ready to tell him. I still wanted to get to know him more before I would confess.
About a month later I could tell through the messages he was sending me he was flirting and I decided to call him and confess that I liked him back. By this point I was in love. He was everything I had dreamed off in a guy. At this point we was so close he had been telling me secrets no one knew about him and talked about things that only his family was allowed to know. He made me feel special as I was the chosen one he decided to confide in.

那是一個(gè)平常的日子，我們?cè)诘裙财?chē)，我記得我們?cè)谡務(wù)撐覀冞^(guò)去的戀情，我開(kāi)玩笑地告訴他，我似乎只吸引奇怪的人，他回答說(shuō)“那我一定很奇怪”，我的心幾乎跳了出來(lái)。他對(duì)我也有同樣的感覺(jué)，我還沒(méi)來(lái)得及說(shuō)什么，他的車(chē)就來(lái)了，我們倆就分開(kāi)了。接下來(lái)一個(gè)星期我們兩個(gè)誰(shuí)都沒(méi)再提起這件事，因?yàn)槲也恢涝趺刺岢鰜?lái)，我也不想跟他談?wù)摯耸?，可能他也不想談及此事。?dāng)我有勇氣提起這件事時(shí)，我們倆都能很成熟地對(duì)話了，他告訴我他不需要聽(tīng)到回答，只要我愿意，多久以后告訴他我是否有同樣的感受都行，我對(duì)此很感激，因?yàn)槲疫€沒(méi)有準(zhǔn)備好告訴他。我還是想在坦白之前多了解他。
大約一個(gè)月后，我從他發(fā)給我的短信中可以看出他在調(diào)情，于是我決定打電話給他，承認(rèn)我很喜歡他。至此，我已墜入愛(ài)河。他是我夢(mèng)寐以求的男生。在這一點(diǎn)上，我們是如此接近，他會(huì)跟我談?wù)撍粸槿怂拿孛?，并且他?huì)跟我談?wù)撘恍┲挥兴募胰瞬旁试S知道的事情。他讓我覺(jué)得自己很特別，因?yàn)槲沂撬麤Q定傾訴的對(duì)象。

We never dated even when I told him I liked him back, I asked him why tell me you have feelings for me and never intend to date me and he told me ‘it’s because I have too much respect for you’. I am still very close friends with him and I now understand what he meant. We are both still young and he doesn’t want to have something long term at the moment, right now he acts as what a fuckboy does and I don’t agree with it but because he has ‘respect’ for me he would never allow me to further our relationship because he knew he would end up hurting me.
So to answer the question, what can be the dark parts of love?
simple: loving someone so much you have to let them go because you know at this moment you can not be the person they need or deserve. Even if it means you don’t get what you want.

即使我告訴他我喜歡他，我們也從未約會(huì)過(guò)，我問(wèn)他為什么告訴我你對(duì)我有感情，但卻從不打算和我約會(huì)，他告訴我“這是因?yàn)槲姨鹬啬懔恕?。我和他仍然是非常親密的朋友，我現(xiàn)在明白了他的意思。我們都還年輕，他那時(shí)還不想考慮得太遠(yuǎn)?，F(xiàn)在我不同意他表現(xiàn)得像個(gè)混蛋這種看法了，但因?yàn)樗麑?duì)我有所尊重，他永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)允許進(jìn)一步發(fā)展我們的關(guān)系，因?yàn)樗浪麜?huì)傷害我。
所以我來(lái)回答這個(gè)問(wèn)題，愛(ài)是什么？
很簡(jiǎn)單：深?lèi)?ài)一個(gè)人，你就必須讓他離開(kāi)，因?yàn)槟阒来藭r(shí)此刻你不可能成為他所需要或應(yīng)得的那個(gè)人。即使這意味著你得不到你想要的。
Anshul Sharma, lives in London 住在倫敦

Love…. is such a funny thing.
You meet someone, go out on a date and try to keep it casual because, you think that if something meaningful is going to happen, you need to let it happen naturally. And not try to force it.
After a few dates, while walking in a garden, she suddenly stops and asks you for more — A commitment. A thousand thoughts run through your head…
You think and think hard whether it’s too soon.
You try to figure out whether you really feel for that person.
You ponder whether this will even work out.
Is it too soon?
All this, in a matter of seconds.

愛(ài)情真是件有趣的事。
你遇到一個(gè)人，出去約會(huì)，試著保持輕松，你認(rèn)為可能有什么有意義的事情發(fā)生，你需要順其自然，不要試圖強(qiáng)迫它。
幾次約會(huì)后，當(dāng)她在花園里散步時(shí)，她突然停下來(lái)要求你提供更多：如一個(gè)承諾，與此同時(shí)有一千種想法在你的腦海里閃過(guò)。
你仔細(xì)想想是否為時(shí)過(guò)早。
你試著弄清楚你是否真的喜歡那個(gè)人。
你在考慮這是否會(huì)成功。
是不是為時(shí)過(guò)早了？
所有這些，都發(fā)生在幾秒鐘之內(nèi)。

And while you remain speechless, tears start to roll out of her eyes. And being an emotional fool that you are, you melt and say ‘Ok! Let’s do it.’
There is no Love at the moment, but when you spend enough time with someone, and like doing it so much that you wish for more, the feelings get stronger. And I don’t know at what point you start calling it Love.
She starts being the focus of your attention. You don’t show her, but day by day, she starts becoming a part of your routine, and you begin to feel incomplete without her.
And that’s when you start to feel fear. Because beginning to feel complete with someone is a sign of dependence and that, makes you vulnerable.
You ignore your fears and they take a small corner in your head. Not visible, but ever so present. Things are going great. She is great and makes you happy. She loves you and never fails to tell you that. You ain’t too good at expressing but appreciate everything she does.
Then one day, she calls you and drops a bomb. She did something and wants to seek forgiveness. She thought you two were not too serious. You feel stunned and don’t know how to react. A thousand thoughts run through your head again…

當(dāng)你說(shuō)不出話來(lái)的時(shí)候，眼淚開(kāi)始從她的眼睛里滾出。作為一個(gè)情感上的傻瓜，你心軟了，然后說(shuō)“好吧！我們交往吧?！?br>現(xiàn)在還沒(méi)有愛(ài)，但是當(dāng)你花足夠的時(shí)間和某人在一起，并且喜歡這樣做以至于你希望得到更多，這種感覺(jué)就會(huì)變得更強(qiáng)烈。我不知道你從什么時(shí)候開(kāi)始稱(chēng)它為愛(ài)。
她開(kāi)始成為你關(guān)注的焦點(diǎn)。日子一天天地過(guò)去，她開(kāi)始成為你日常生活的一部分，沒(méi)有她，你開(kāi)始感到不完整。
那就是當(dāng)你開(kāi)始感到恐懼的時(shí)候。因?yàn)楹湍橙嗽谝黄鸩鸥杏X(jué)完整，這是一種依賴(lài)的標(biāo)志，這會(huì)讓你變得脆弱。
你忽視了你的恐懼，它們占據(jù)了你腦袋里的一個(gè)角落?？床坏?，但永遠(yuǎn)這么存在。一切都很順利。她很棒，可以讓你開(kāi)心。她愛(ài)你，并且也是一直這么跟你說(shuō)的。你不太善于表達(dá)，但很感激她所做的一切。
后來(lái)有一天，她打電話給你，說(shuō)她做了一些事，想尋求原諒。她認(rèn)為你們倆的關(guān)系不是認(rèn)真的。你感到震驚，不知道如何反應(yīng)。一千個(gè)念頭又在你的腦海里閃過(guò)。

Was it happening because you didn’t express enough?
Was it because she never really felt for you?
Why did she? How can she? Is it even real? Am I dreaming?
But she really wants to make amends. She really is sorry. And you believe her. Because, you’ve come too far to let go so easily. And just like that, there is a crack which will never disappear, but you anyway hide it or ignore it.
Things are great again. You are in love again. And this time, you try to be more expressive. You try to be there for her more. You have fights and discussions always leading to the things that happened but you try and not bring it up.
You fear more now, because what happened once, can happen again.

是不是因?yàn)槟惚磉_(dá)的不夠充分？
是因?yàn)樗龔膩?lái)沒(méi)有真正為你著想嗎？
她為什么這么做？她怎么能這么做？這是真的嗎？我在做夢(mèng)嗎？
但她真的很想彌補(bǔ)。她真的很抱歉。你相信她。也因?yàn)樵谝黄鹛茫詿o(wú)法輕易放手。就這樣，出現(xiàn)了一條永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)消失的裂縫，但你還是要隱藏它或者忽略它。
事情又變得好起來(lái)。你又墜入愛(ài)河了。這一次，你試著變得更有表現(xiàn)力。你想多陪她一點(diǎn)。你們之間總是有爭(zhēng)吵和爭(zhēng)執(zhí)的事情發(fā)生，但你試圖不提出來(lái)。
你現(xiàn)在更害怕了，因?yàn)樵?jīng)發(fā)生過(guò)類(lèi)似的事情，可能會(huì)再次發(fā)生。

And your fears come true, because it happens again. She seeks your forgiveness again. She says that your fights make her fear the worst and she feels vulnerable, leading to mistakes. And again, you believe her. You think this is the last time.
You think she’ll be more careful and that it was just another mistake. You hope you’re not being taken for granted. But you are.
And just like that, a pattern forms. And you’re now a part of a toxic relationship. Being with someone and yet feeling more scared than loved, all the time. Always waiting for something to happen again, fearing the worst.
Dark side of being in love is — Being so involved in it, that you find it difficult to come out, even when its crystal clear that it won’t last, it won’t survive much. And yet, you have no strength to end it yourself. You just go with the flow. You settle for what is left of it. Until she makes the call for you.

你的恐懼成真了，因?yàn)樗职l(fā)生了。她再次尋求你的原諒。她說(shuō)吵架讓她很害怕，她覺(jué)得自己很脆弱，導(dǎo)致再次犯錯(cuò)。你又一次相信了她。以為這是最后一次。
你認(rèn)為她會(huì)更加小心，這只是另一個(gè)錯(cuò)誤。您希望自己不會(huì)被視為理所當(dāng)然。 但就像這樣形成了一個(gè)模式。而且你現(xiàn)在是一段有毒關(guān)系的一部分。和一個(gè)人在一起，卻恐懼卻比愛(ài)要更多?？偸堑却虑樵俅伟l(fā)生，害怕最壞的結(jié)果。
墜入愛(ài)河的陰暗面深陷其中，你會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)很難走出來(lái)，即使是明擺著這段愛(ài)情不會(huì)持久，。然而，你沒(méi)有力量去結(jié)束它。只得順其自然。你只能接受剩下的一切。直到她給你打電話。

And that’s the best thing that she did for you. You realise that with time.
Over the years, I have come to realise that Love, is a choice.
And that ‘It’s easier to fall in it, than to fall out of it.’

這是她為你所做的最好的事。隨著時(shí)間的推移，你會(huì)意識(shí)到這一點(diǎn)。
多年來(lái)，我逐漸意識(shí)到，愛(ài)是一種選擇。
而且陷進(jìn)去容易，走出來(lái)難。

Anonymous
Its a long story. Also excuse my grammatical mistakes.
We were office colleagues. Had a great bond. I had feelings for himbut never confronted him. Some how he started have feelings for me and confessed to me. I said I was elder to him. 5yrs elder to him. He said age is just a number and it doesn't matter to him. He talked about his love to his brother and sister in law. They accepted it. I was on cloud nine. I talked about him to my family and it was accepted.
Much happy now. I change my job but we still managed to be in contact and spend time together. We were happy with eachother. We had already started planning our future together.
He belonged to different city so he left the job and moved to his hometown. We were still in relationship. Happy together.
He called me at his place to meet his mother. He had lost his father few years ago. I went at his place with my sister. We had nice time. His family greeted us well and also gifted us few things.

說(shuō)來(lái)話長(zhǎng)。同時(shí)請(qǐng)?jiān)徫矣行┱Z(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤。
我們是辦公室同事，關(guān)系很好。我對(duì)他有感情，但從來(lái)沒(méi)有向他坦白過(guò)。不知何故他開(kāi)始對(duì)我有感覺(jué)，并向我告白了。我說(shuō)我比他年長(zhǎng)5歲。他說(shuō)年齡只是個(gè)數(shù)字，對(duì)他來(lái)說(shuō)并不重要。他向弟弟和嫂子談起了他對(duì)我的愛(ài)，他們接受了。我當(dāng)時(shí)如釋重負(fù)。我也和我的家人提起了他，并且這段感情被接受了。
我換了工作，但我們還是設(shè)法保持聯(lián)系，共度時(shí)光。我們彼此都很開(kāi)心。我們已經(jīng)開(kāi)始計(jì)劃我們的未來(lái)了。
他來(lái)自另一個(gè)的城市，所以他辭去了工作搬到了他的家鄉(xiāng)。我們還在談戀愛(ài)。
他打電話給我讓我去他家見(jiàn)他母親。他幾年前失去了父親。我和我姐姐去了他家。我們玩得很開(kāi)心。他的家人很歡迎我們，也給了我們一些禮物。

Later after few days he talked about me to his mom. And she denied our relationship. He fought for few days but eventually gave up. His brother also didn't supported him by then. And so he broke our relationship. I was devatsed. I couldn't bear the heart break. I kept on crying.
This affected my performance in office. I had to quit my job. He initially kept contact with me but later on he broke the contact. He said he loved me but can't go against family, mainly Mom.
After few months we met at a friend's wedding. He said he still loved me. He promised he won't leave me this time and would talk again about our relationship at home.
This time everyone in his family stood against him. His brother and sister in law who once supported our relationship now started hating me. And he AGAIN called off our relation. I was broken once again.
We were still in contact but everything eventually came to relationship and I couldn't moveon whereas he always denied to take a step ahead for relation.
In the meantime, my sister was ill and hospitalized. And I broke all the contact with him. We weren't in contact for 2 months.

幾天后，他和他媽媽談起了我。但她媽媽不同意我們的關(guān)系。他爭(zhēng)取了幾天，但最終還是放棄了。他哥哥那時(shí)也不支持他。所以他結(jié)束了我們的關(guān)系。我如同被摧毀一般。我無(wú)法忍受如此的心碎，只能一直哭。
這影響了我在辦公室的表現(xiàn)。我不得不辭職。他一開(kāi)始還和我保持聯(lián)系，但后來(lái)就斷了聯(lián)系。他說(shuō)他愛(ài)我，但不能違背家人，尤其是媽媽。
幾個(gè)月后，我們?cè)谝粋€(gè)朋友的婚禮上相遇。他說(shuō)他還愛(ài)我。他答應(yīng)這次不會(huì)離開(kāi)我，并且還會(huì)跟家人再談?wù)勎覀兊年P(guān)系。
這次他家里的人都不支持他。他曾經(jīng)支持我們關(guān)系的兄妹現(xiàn)在也開(kāi)始討厭我了。他又結(jié)束了我們的關(guān)系。我又一次崩潰了。
我們?nèi)匀槐３种?lián)系，但最終一切都只能是戀愛(ài)關(guān)系，我無(wú)法更進(jìn)一步，而他總是拒絕采取行動(dòng)讓關(guān)系更進(jìn)一步
與此同時(shí)，我姐姐生病住院了。我和他斷絕了聯(lián)系。已經(jīng)有兩個(gè)月沒(méi)聯(lián)系了。

I lost my sister. I was broken again. He came to visit me. I didn't wanted him to come as I knew everything would be repeated. But still can't deny him from coming.
He came. Saw me crying. Saw me in my worst phase of my life. Maybe he got drown into the feelings and might have got sympathy towards me and promised to carry our relation further. I clarified he would again leave me in the name of family. He denied. He said he is ready for court marriage too if his family denied.
After a month he met my father and assured him that he would never leave me again for the THIRD time. No matter what happens he would marry me.

我失去了我的姐姐。我又崩潰了。他要來(lái)看我，我不想讓他來(lái)，因?yàn)槲抑酪磺卸紩?huì)重演。但我還是無(wú)法拒絕他的到來(lái)。
他來(lái)了，看到我在哭，看到了我生命中最糟糕的階段。也許他還沉浸在這種感情中，也許是處于對(duì)我的同情，他答應(yīng)會(huì)讓我們的關(guān)系走得更遠(yuǎn)。我說(shuō)他會(huì)再次以家人的名義離開(kāi)我。他否認(rèn)了。他說(shuō)，如果家人拒絕，他也準(zhǔn)備好直接去領(lǐng)證。
一個(gè)月后，他見(jiàn)到了我父親，并向他保證，他不會(huì)再離開(kāi)我了。不管發(fā)生什么事他都會(huì)娶我。

He again, for the third time talked about me to his mom. As expected she denied and after fighting for few days… unfortunately he repeated the history and left me again. I am now so broken and devasted. I cry in the middle of night. I can't imagine my life without him.
In the meantime, during our relationship for the third time I ones visited him at his city. Somehow his brother came to know about this. And he made my bf to leave me there alone.
I was at unknown city, at unknown place. And his brother made me stay alone for the whole night. I cried for the whole night. Its still a nightmare for me.

他又一次，也是第三次和他媽媽談起我。不出所料，她拒絕了，在爭(zhēng)取了幾天之后，不幸的是，他又一次重蹈覆轍，離開(kāi)了我。我現(xiàn)在是如此的沮喪。總在半夜哭泣。我無(wú)法想象我的生活里沒(méi)有他。
與此同時(shí)，在我們第三次交往期間，我去他的城市同他見(jiàn)面。不知什么原因，他哥哥知道了這件事，他讓我男朋友把我一個(gè)人留在那里。
我在一個(gè)不知名的城市，一個(gè)不知名的地方。他哥哥讓我一個(gè)人呆了整整一晚上。我哭了一整夜。這至今對(duì)我來(lái)說(shuō)還是個(gè)噩夢(mèng)。

This time I am so broken that I have forgot to smile and live a happy life. I was not out of my sister's lose. Its just 4 months I have lost my sister. And its already a month he left me for the third time.
Love hurts. It changes people. I now have trust issues.
Many times I feel like killing myself. But the thought that I am only child to my parents now holds me back. I have lost my younger brother 11 yrs back and lost elder sister 4 months back.
I still love him. He says he loves me too but can't marry me, because his family isn't accepting. He is not ready to go against his family.

這一次我太傷心了，我失去姐姐才4個(gè)月。
愛(ài)情很傷人。也改變了人。我現(xiàn)在面臨信任問(wèn)題。
很多次我都想自殺。但一想到我現(xiàn)在是父母唯一的孩子，我就退縮了。我11年前就失去了弟弟，而4個(gè)月前又失去了姐姐。
我仍然愛(ài)他。他說(shuō)他也愛(ài)我，但不能娶我，因?yàn)樗募胰瞬唤邮?。他也不?zhǔn)備與家人作對(duì)。