A HAPPY ENDING 征婚

Translated by Constance Garnett 1887

LYUBOV GRIGORYEVNA, a substantial, buxom lady of forty who undertook matchmaking and many other matters of which it is usual to speak only in whispers, had come to see Stytchkin, the head guard, on a day when he was off duty. Stytchkin, somewhat embarrassed, but, as always, grave, practical, and severe, was walking up and down the room, smoking a cigar and saying:

葛金鳳今年四十了，生的膀大腰圓、豐乳肥臀，人都管她叫葛媒婆，不過私下里也幫著撮合一些上不了臺面的事。這天她來到老沈家，老沈在鐵路干保安，當(dāng)天正好歇班。老沈有點(diǎn)不好意思，可依舊是一臉的嚴(yán)肅，只見他在屋里來回踱步，叼著一只雪茄煙，開口道：

“Very pleased to make your acquaintance. Semyon Ivanovitch recommended you on the ground that you may be able to assist me in a delicate and very important matter affecting the happiness of my life. I have, Lyubov Grigoryevna, reached the age of fifty-two; that is a period of life at which very many have already grown-up children. My position is a secure one. Though my fortune is not large, yet I am in a position to support a beloved being and children at my side. I may tell you between ourselves that apart from my salary I have also money in the bank which my manner of living has enabled me to save. I am a practical and sober man, I lead a sensible and consistent life, so that I may hold myself up as an example to many. But one thing I lack — a domestic hearth of my own and a partner in life, and I live like a wandering Magyar, moving from place to place without any satisfaction. I have no one with whom to take counsel, and when I am ill no one to give me water, and so on. Apart from that, Lyubov Grigoryevna, a married man has always more weight in society than a bachelor.... I am a man of the educated class, with money, but if you look at me from a point of view, what am I? A man with no kith and kin, no better than some Polish priest. And therefore I should be very desirous to be united in the bonds of Hymen — that is, to enter into matrimony with some worthy person.”

“幸會(huì)幸會(huì)。老馮跟我說您能在婚姻大事上助我一臂之力。不瞞您說，我今年五十二了，我這個(gè)歲數(shù)的有些連孩子都不小了。我掙的是鐵飯碗，雖然說賺錢不多，不過還養(yǎng)得起一家大小。說句悄悄話，我不光有工資，平時(shí)還存了些錢。我是個(gè)實(shí)在人，我活得特別規(guī)矩，說句大話，我的活法能給人做榜樣。可是哪——我想有個(gè)家，想找個(gè)陪我過日子的人，打了這么些年光棍，再單下去真沒意思。家里也沒個(gè)能陪我說說話的，病了也沒個(gè)能給我倒杯水的。再就是啊，葛大姐，結(jié)了婚的男人比沒結(jié)婚的腰板直……我念過書，也掙了錢，可您看我沒親沒故的，這活得連和尚都不如?？傊蚁胝覀€(gè)沒人碰過的、有點(diǎn)條件的跟我成家。”

“An excellent thing,” said the matchmaker, with a sigh.

“成家好啊。”媒婆說著嘆了口氣。

“I am a solitary man and in this town I know no one. Where can I go, and to whom can I apply, since all the people here are strangers to me? That is why Semyon Ivanovitch advised me to address myself to a person who is a specialist in this line, and makes the arrangement of the happiness of others her profession. And therefore I most earnestly beg you, Lyubov Grigoryevna, to assist me in ordering my future. You know all the marriageable young ladies in the town, and it is easy for you to accommodate me.”

“我在鎮(zhèn)子上誰也不認(rèn)識。您說這叫我找誰出主意，找誰幫忙？所以老馮才叫我找一個(gè)最懂撮合，最會(huì)牽線搭橋的行家?guī)臀乙话?。葛大姐我求求您，我后半輩子就全指望您了。咱這兒誰家有沒出閣的姑娘您最清楚，您就行行好幫我介紹個(gè)合適的吧?！?/p>

“I can…

“包在……”

“A glass of wine, I beg you…”

“您來杯酒，別客氣別客氣……”

With an habitual gesture the matchmaker raised her glass to her mouth and tossed it off without winking.

媒婆咕咚一聲把酒喝進(jìn)了肚，連眼都沒眨。

“I can,” she repeated. “And what sort of bride would you like, Nikolay Nikolayitch?”

“包在我身上?！泵狡耪f道，“你想找個(gè)什么樣的，沈大哥？”

“Should I like? The bride fate sends me.”

“什么樣的？隨緣就行?！?/p>

“Well, of course it depends on your fate, but everyone has his own taste, you know. One likes dark ladies, the other prefers fair ones.”

“不是，緣分歸緣分，咱總得提點(diǎn)要求吧。比如喜歡黑一點(diǎn)的，喜歡漂亮一點(diǎn)的，一人一個(gè)喜好。”

“You see, Lyubov Grigoryevna,” said Stytchkin, sighing sedately, “I am a practical man and a man of character; for me beauty and external appearance generally take a secondary place, for, as you know yourself, beauty is neither bowl nor platter, and a pretty wife involves a great deal of anxiety. The way I look at it is, what matters most in a woman is not what is external, but what lies within — that is, that she should have soul and all the qualities. A glass of wine, I beg.... Of course, it would be very agreeable that one’s wife should be rather plump, but for mutual happiness it is not of great consequence; what matters is the mind. Properly speaking, a woman does not need mind either, for if she has brains she will have too high an opinion of herself, and take all sorts of ideas into her head. One cannot do without education nowadays, of course, but education is of different kinds. It would be pleasing for one’s wife to know French and German, to speak various languages, very pleasing; but what’s the use of that if she can’t sew on one’s buttons, perhaps? I am a man of the educated class: I am just as much at home, I may say, with Prince Kanitelin as I am with you here now. But my habits are simple, and I want a girl who is not too much a fine lady. Above all, she must have respect for me and feel that I have made her happiness.”

“您把我想得太膚淺了，葛大姐。”老沈緩緩嘆道，“我是個(gè)實(shí)際的人，對我來說外表永遠(yuǎn)是第二位的。您自己說，長得漂亮有用嗎？是能多換二斤米是能多換二斤面？再者說媳婦漂亮可就麻煩了。我是這么想的，女人最重要的不是外表，而是內(nèi)涵，一定要有內(nèi)涵才行。您喝酒，喝酒……要說娶個(gè)漂亮媳婦也不是什么壞事，不過兩口子之間長相什么的不重要，重要的是思想。這么說吧，女子無才便是德，女的太精明了要么擺臭架子，要么就誰說的都聽。當(dāng)然現(xiàn)在這個(gè)社會(huì)沒點(diǎn)知識肯定不行，不過知識也分很多種啊。比方說假如我媳婦會(huì)法國話、德國話、好幾國話，那敢情好，可要是她連扣子都不會(huì)縫那還有什么用？我念過書，我不論對誰都沒偏見。我的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)很簡單，太有學(xué)問的我不要。是我媳婦就應(yīng)該尊重我，她的幸?？啥际俏医o的?！?/p>

“To be sure.”

“那當(dāng)然?！?/p>

“Well, now as regards the essential.... I do not want a wealthy bride; I would never condescend to anything so low as to marry for money. I desire not to be kept by my wife, but to keep her, and that she may be sensible of it. But I do not want a poor girl either. Though I am a man of means, and am marrying not from mercenary motives, but from love, yet I cannot take a poor girl, for, as you know yourself, prices have gone up so, and there will be children.”

“該談?wù)勛钪饕牧恕绣X的我不要。我可不是那種為錢結(jié)婚的低俗小人。等結(jié)了婚我可不想叫媳婦管著，她憑什么管我，我管她才像話。不過沒錢的我也不要。雖然我有錢，而且我結(jié)婚也不是為了錢，但是出于感情的考慮，女方?jīng)]錢是絕對不行的，現(xiàn)在物價(jià)這么高，日后再有了孩子可怎么辦?！?/p>

“One might find one with a dowry,” said the matchmaker.

“要找個(gè)帶嫁妝的。”媒婆說道。

“A glass of wine, I beg…”

“您再來一杯，別客氣別客氣……”

There was a pause of five minutes.

二人沉默了五分鐘。

The matchmaker heaved a sigh, took a sidelong glance at the guard, and asked:

葛媒婆嘆了聲氣，偷偷瞥了老沈一眼，問道：

“Well, now, my good sir... do you want anything in the bachelor line? I have some fine bargains. One is a French girl and one is a Greek. Well worth the money.”

“那什么…沈大哥，你想不想找個(gè)姑娘玩玩？我認(rèn)識幾個(gè)挺不錯(cuò)的，都是一等一的美人?！?/p>

The guard thought a moment and said:

老沈想了一會(huì)兒，說道：

“No, I thank you. In view of your favourable disposition, allow me to enquire now how much you ask for your exertions in regard to a bride?”

“免了吧。還說找媳婦的事，介紹成了你要多少錢？”

“I don’t ask much. Give me twenty-five roubles and the stuff for a dress, as is usual, and I will say thank you... but for the dowry, that’s a different account.”

“不多，收你二十五塊，外加做衣裳的料子。不過彩禮嘛…就得另算了?！?/p>

Stytchkin folded his arms over his chest and fell to pondering in silence. After some thought he heaved a sigh and said:

老沈抱著胳膊沉思著，不說話了。不一會(huì)兒他嘆了口氣，說道：

“That’s dear…”

“這么貴……”

“It’s not at all dear, Nikolay Nikolayitch! In old days when there were lots of weddings one did do it cheaper, but nowadays what are our earnings? If you make fifty roubles in a month that is not a fast, you may be thankful. It’s not on weddings we make our money, my good sir.”

“這還貴？以前婚事多的時(shí)候倒能少要點(diǎn)，可現(xiàn)在我們哪兒掙錢去？現(xiàn)在一個(gè)月掙五十塊也就勉強(qiáng)糊糊口，要單靠說合賺錢我早餓死了?！?/p>

Stytchkin looked at the matchmaker in amazement and shrugged his shoulders.

老沈驚訝地望著葛媒婆，扭了扭肩膀。

“H’m!... Do you call fifty roubles little?” he asked.

“是嗎！照你說…五十塊算少的？”他問道。

“Of course it is little! In old days we sometimes made more than a hundred.”

“那是！擱以前運(yùn)氣好我能掙一百塊?！?/p>

“H’m! I should never have thought it was possible to earn such a sum by these jobs. Fifty roubles! It is not every man that earns as much! Pray drink your wine…”

“是嗎！想不到你們這行還挺來財(cái)?shù)?。五十塊，嚯！好些男的也掙不了這么些錢哪！你喝酒，喝酒……”

The matchmaker drained her glass without winking. Stytchkin looked her over from head to foot in silence, then said:

葛媒婆一仰脖喝了。老沈把她從頭到腳打量了一番，開口道：

“Fifty roubles.... Why, that is six hundred roubles a year.... Please take some more. . . With such dividends, you know, Lyubov Grigoryevna, you would have no difficulty in making a match for yourself…”

“一個(gè)月五十塊…這一年下來就是六百塊……你再喝點(diǎn)，喝，喝……我說葛大姐，你掙得這么多，肯定不愁找不著男人吧……”

“For myself,” laughed the matchmaker, “I am an old woman.”

“老嘍?！备鹈狡判Φ溃皼]人要嘍?！?/p>

“Not at all.... You have such a figure, and your face is plump and fair, and all the rest of it.”

“這叫什么話……你身?xiàng)l這么好，臉蛋又這么漂亮，肉嘟嘟的，多好看?！?/p>

The matchmaker was embarrassed. Stytchkin was also embarrassed and sat down beside her.

媒婆臉紅了。老沈也紅著臉坐到了她身邊。

“You are still very attractive,” said he; “if you met with a practical, steady, careful husband, with his salary and your earnings you might even attract him very much, and you’d get on very well together...”

“你瞧你多漂亮，又這么能掙錢，”他說道，“要是遇上個(gè)既能賺錢又知道疼你的實(shí)在人，你可就享福啦……”

“Goodness knows what you are saying, Nikolay Nikolayitch.”

“真是，沈大哥你說的這是什么話呀?！?/p>

“Well, I meant no harm...”

“我這是真心話嘛……”

A silence followed. Stytchkin began loudly blowing his nose, while the matchmaker turned crimson, and looking bashfully at him, asked:

又一陣沉默。老沈轟隆隆地醒著鼻子，媒婆的臉紅透了，她害羞地看著他，問道：

“And how much do you get, Nikolay Nikolayitch?”

“你一個(gè)月掙多少啊，沈大哥？”

“I? Seventy-five roubles, besides tips.... Apart from that we make something out of candles and hares.”

“我？基本工資七十五，不算外快……有時(shí)候遇見扒火車的還另有油水。”

“You go hunting, then?”

“你還做保潔？”

“No. Passengers who travel without tickets are called hares with us.”

“不是。扒火車的就是說逃票的?！?/p>

Another minute passed in silence. Stytchkin got up and walked about the room in excitement.

又一分鐘過去了。老沈站起身，在屋里激動(dòng)地走著。

“I don’t want a young wife,” said he. “I am a middle-aged man, and I want someone who... as it might be like you... staid and settled and a figure something like yours...”

“我不想找太年輕的?！彼f道，“我年紀(jì)也不小了，我想找個(gè)…找個(gè)跟你差不多的…規(guī)規(guī)矩矩，能掙錢，也和你這種身段的……”

“Goodness knows what you are saying...” giggled the matchmaker, hiding her crimson face in her kerchief.

“你討厭，沒羞沒臊的……”葛媒婆拿手絹擋住臉，在后面偷偷笑著。

“There is no need to be long thinking about it. You are after my own heart, and you suit me in your qualities. I am a practical, sober man, and if you like me... what could be better? Allow me to make you a proposal!”

“這還考慮什么。葛大姐，我找的就是你，沒有比你再合適的了。我是個(gè)實(shí)在人，要是你也看我不錯(cuò)，那還有什么說的？你嫁給我吧！”

The matchmaker dropped a tear, laughed, and, in token of her consent, clinked glasses with Stytchkin.

葛媒婆落了一滴淚，笑了，用一聲清脆的碰杯答應(yīng)了老沈的請求。

“Well,” said the happy railway guard, “now allow me to explain to you the behaviour and manner of life I desire from you.... I am a strict, respectable, practical man. I take a gentlemanly view of everything. And I desire that my wife should be strict also, and should understand that to her I am a benefactor and the foremost person in the world.”

“好好好?！崩仙蛳残︻侀_道，“現(xiàn)在你聽好了，我對你有這么幾點(diǎn)要求……我是個(gè)有道德、有身份、講實(shí)際的人，無論對什么事都要講規(guī)矩。做我的媳婦就得規(guī)規(guī)矩矩的，既然我是你丈夫，你就得聽我的話，你就應(yīng)該只把我放在頭一位。”

He sat down, and, heaving a deep sigh, began expounding to his bride-elect his views on domestic life and a wife’s duties.

他又坐下來，深深地嘆了聲氣，同他的未婚妻講起了婦道人家應(yīng)盡的責(zé)任和規(guī)矩。