4 使用人物直接話語 避免對話

如果還有機會聽老師細(xì)講讀后續(xù)寫中點評和總結(jié)就抓住機會好好聽

4??

5??

===114514==一個正常的分界==114514===

1?? 思路分析

1、經(jīng)典情節(jié)：因果邏輯，封閉結(jié)尾（結(jié)局要完），線性時間，外部沖突，單一主角，現(xiàn)實視角，積極人物

2、小情節(jié)：開放結(jié)尾，內(nèi)部沖突（一個人的內(nèi)心沖突），多主角，消極人物

3、反情節(jié)：偶然巧合，非線性時間，非現(xiàn)實視角

2??本文具體思路

母親贊同——開始做

場景：制作爆米花——在家/廚房 室內(nèi)

節(jié)奏：母親在干什么？Clara/Harry/John在干什么？分工！

順序：在……之前、在……之后、同時（就三個）

思路句型：

兩個動作同時 doing sth,sb did sth 一個人

兩個動作先后 having done sth，sb did sth 一個人

3?? 句子設(shè)計

1.將人物主體轉(zhuǎn)化成事物主體

所以他們開始準(zhǔn)備了：

so their preparation started immediately.

轉(zhuǎn)變思路：事情準(zhǔn)備發(fā)生了，而不是我們準(zhǔn)備做什么事情了

2.拆解動作，讓動作盡可能精細(xì)

• Clare準(zhǔn)備corns,Harry準(zhǔn)備paper bags：

Clare brought the box of corn from the kitchen， while Harry offered to buy some paper bags from the near by grocery.

應(yīng)該注意：過去時brought，offered

+單復(fù)數(shù)corns

• In the meantime,John went to Bernard's house,told him their idea, and invited him to join in.
• Bernard 同意加入 （情節(jié)發(fā)展）

Hearing his idea,Bernard was quite grateful but a little nervous,for（因為） he had never done such things before. "We can make it together！" John peisuaded him.

• 在母親的幫助下，四個孩子一起做好了爆米花 （結(jié)果) That morning,with the help from Meredith,the four kids made popcorn together.→ That morning,with the guidance from Meredith,the four kids managed to made delicious popcorn eventually .

合并看看效果吧

So their preparation started immediately. Clara brought the box of com from the kitchen,while Harry offered to buy some paper bags from the nearby grocery. In the meantime,John went to Bernard's house and invited him to join in.Hearing his idea,Bernard was qquite grateful but a little nervous,for he hadInever done such things before. "We can make it togetherl" John persuaded him.That morning,with the guidance and encouragement from Meredith,the four kids managed to make delicious popcorn.

“同時”的高級表達(dá)：in the meantime