翻譯+校對: 吉光片羽九色鹿

Damn, I'm so exhausted. Earlier today, the elevator was out of order. The deliveryman who was?changing the barrelled drinking water wanted to charge extra for carrying them upstairs. Otherwise,?he would leave them downstairs.?

As a frugal man of the house, I'd rather die than pay the extra cash. I immediately?took it up by myself. I told him on the phone in a firm tone,?"I will save 20 yuan by doing the job myself". After hanging up the phone, I rushed out from the apartment to the ground floor with only my slippers on.?

I went from 20 floors to downstairs without breaking a sweat. I was so proud of?myself. As your husband, I've got endurance and I'm thrifty. How lucky you are to marry me.?

Am I tired? Big no no. It was more challenging than I expected. I asked him to take?a barrel, no matter what the volume was. He took a 19 litre one! 19 litres! That's the equivalent of 38 kilograms across 20 storeys! You know what, when I was on the 15th floor, the?sunlight shined through the window onto my face and it made me dizzy. I had a hallucination that was God's halo and he would take me to heaven! If I wasn't strong-willed,?I would probably be face-to-face with Jesus Christ!?

What do you mean by you were "dying for thirst"? I was almost dead from exhaustion while you only cared about if you got water to drink.?You're cold-blooded. Could you please care about me, just a little bit? Such an ungrateful woman (teasing with his wife). You want me to ask for refund from God? You are so mean. You should visit the accountant first, rather the CEO of heaven. You don't understand department functions.?

Seriously, if you've got nothing to do, would you mind cleaning up the kitty litter? It stinks to high heaven! It almost took my breath away. Baby, what did you feed him? If Civet coffee is divided into absolutely disgusting or just disgusting flavour, which one would this be? Why don't I take a sip of it? Stop teasing me! You want me dead! Please do the clean up or we will have to bear with it.?

Will you clean it up after I finish a Couple Quiz? Fine. Let?me have a look. Do we need this to prove we're soul mates? You're well aware that I'm not?the jealous type. Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Am I exaggerating? Nah.?

Let's get started. I'll lose the game if I hesitate too long.?

Question 1: Do you mind your gf greeting other guys? Not a problem. 'Bonjour! Comment allez-vous？Je suis Monsieur Adam'. It's doesn't bother me!

Question 2: Do you mind your gf having other men's phone numbers. I wouldn't?be bothered. I am all for you having your social life. These are simplistic questions, no?challenge at all.?

Question 3: Do you mind other guys showing random concerns to your gf? No, I'm not?hesitating. I sometimes ask the street vendor downstairs how his?business is going. Well, honestly, could you please let me have a look at your phone? I?know you're an expert with words, but I can help improve them.

(To be continued)