中英文稿

幾年前, 在肯尼迪機場,?我正在趕飛機,?兩名女士從后面追上我,?我想她們大概不會介意?我把她們描述為?身材矮小, 言語粗陋的 美籍意大利老大媽。?個子高的那個, 大概這么高,?她追上我, 然后問道,?"親愛的, 我想問你個事兒.?你是不是跟最近上映的那個什么?《美食、祈禱和戀愛》有啥關系?" (譯注:又名《一輩子做女孩》)?我說, "是的。"?然后她拍了一下她的朋友, 說道,?"對吧, 我就說嘛, 就是她。?那個根據(jù)電影的故事情節(jié)?寫了本兒書的姑娘。"?(笑聲)?這就是我。?相信我, 我還是非常感激那個人,?因為有關《美食、祈禱和戀愛》的一切?對我而言都是一個巨大的突破.?但是同時也把我推向了 一個尷尬的境地。?

作為一名作家,?我需要繼續(xù)寫作,?但我無法確定我寫的 下一本書能否得到?讀者的青睞,?因為我非常的清楚,?無論我下一本書的內(nèi)容是什么,?那些熱愛《美食、祈禱和戀愛》的讀者們?都會無比失望,?因為下一本書一定不會再是 《美食、祈禱和戀愛》,?而那些厭惡《美食、祈禱和戀愛》的讀者們?也都會無比失望,?無論我的下一本書寫的是什么,?因為他們會失望的發(fā)現(xiàn)我還活得好好的。?所以, 我知道怎么做都無法兩全其美。?

當我剛開始意識到這一點的時候?我很認真的考慮過?要不要就此封筆,?搬到鄉(xiāng)下養(yǎng)養(yǎng)小狗退休算了。?但是如果我真的這么做了, 真的放棄了,?我將會失去所熱愛的職業(yè)生涯,?所以我很清楚應該做什么，?就是要想辦法重新激起斗志,?繼續(xù)寫新書,?不去在意會收到怎樣的負面評價。?換句話說, 我需要努力的找到一條出路,?確保我在成功之后依舊保持創(chuàng)造力。?最終, 我做到了, 我找到了動力,?只不過是在比較意外的、?不太可能的場合.?這其實是源于我早年?失敗時如何保持創(chuàng)造力的經(jīng)驗.?讓我稍微重復一下,?成為作家是我這輩子唯一希望能夠?從事的職業(yè)。?

我從孩童時期就開始不停的寫, 青少年時期也堅持著,?當我只有十幾歲的時候, 就已經(jīng)?把寫的不怎么樣的故事 寄給了給《紐約客》,?希望能夠被編輯發(fā)現(xiàn)。?大學后我找了一份餐廳服務員的工作,?繼續(xù)工作, 繼續(xù)寫作,?繼續(xù)努力的讓自己的作品出版,?卻連續(xù)的遭遇了失敗。?大概有六年的時間, 一直不斷的?被出版社拒絕。?在那六年的時間里的每一天,?除了郵箱里收不完的拒信,?我一無所有。?每一個這樣的時刻都非常難熬,?每一次我都不由得問自己,?是不是應該放棄,?不要再這么痛苦下去了。?但是我又總是立刻就找回了斗志,?每次都是如此,?對自己說, "我不會放棄,?我要回家."?這里你們需要明白一點,?"回家"并不是指回到我的家族農(nóng)場。?對我而言,?"回家"就是回去繼續(xù)寫作的意思,?因為寫作就是我的家,?因為對寫作的熱愛, 遠大于被拒絕帶給我的傷痛,?或者說我對寫作的熱愛?勝過我對自我(ego)的愛,?更直接的說,?我愛寫作勝過愛我自己。?我就是這么挺過來的。?

不過奇怪的是, 20年之后,?當《美食、祈禱和戀愛》 帶給我巨大成功的時候,?我發(fā)現(xiàn)自己又回到了從前的狀態(tài),?那個無書可出的年輕服務員的狀態(tài),?我無時不刻不回想著過去的我,?覺得我又變成了當初的自己,?這聽上去不太合理,?畢竟過去和現(xiàn)在的我生活狀態(tài) 已經(jīng)大不一樣了。?她一直遭遇失敗.?而我獲得了始料未及的成功。?我們沒有任何相似之處.?那么為什么我突然覺得自己很像她, 很像過去的自己??直到我嘗試一點一點的解開謎團,?我終于開始意識到,?使現(xiàn)在和過去的我產(chǎn)生這種 奇怪的"心理聯(lián)接"的原因,?在于我們在面臨巨大失敗?以及巨大成功時的應對方式。

?想象一下:?在你生命中絕大多數(shù)時間, 你的生活狀態(tài)?只是人類生活經(jīng)歷中的一個片段,?普通, 安穩(wěn)而又平常,?而失敗就相當于突然把你從這種狀態(tài)中?猛的推向了無盡黑暗和失望的深淵。?成功也會如此突如其來的改變你,?不同的是,?成功會給你帶來?極高的認可、贊揚和威望。?這兩種不同的命運,?一種被這個世界視為是壞的,?另一種被這個世界認為是好的,?但是你的潛意識?完全無法區(qū)分這種好壞的差別。?你唯一能夠感知的?是在情緒上體驗到的絕對值,?是你在情緒上偏離常態(tài)的自己的?絕對值。?而且(成功和失敗)兩種情形下都會面臨?同樣的危機,?你可能迷失在心靈的孤島中。?而這兩種不同的境遇,?又有著相同的自我修復的方法，?就是你要盡可能快的, 順利的?找到回家的路.?如果你不知道自己"家"指的是哪里,?有個技巧:?你的"家"就是你在這個世界上任何一個?愛它勝過愛自己的東西。?可能是你的靈感和創(chuàng)意, 可能是家庭,?可以是投資, 冒險,?信仰, 服務, 可以是養(yǎng)小狗,?總之, 你的"家"就是這樣一個東西,?你會愿意將全部精力?投入其中,?而最終的結果并不是最重要的。?對我來說, 這個"家"就是寫作。?

所以在我出版《美食、祈禱和戀愛》之后?經(jīng)歷這種奇特的、令人迷失的成功之后,?我意識到我需要做的事情?跟過去的我在經(jīng)歷同樣令人迷失的失敗時?要做的事一樣。?我需要回"家"寫作,?我真的這么做了, 并且在2010年,?我終于在《美食、祈禱和戀愛》之后,?出版了新書。?你們知道出版之后的反響么??惡評如潮, 但是我感覺還不錯.?事實上, 我覺得自己已經(jīng)有免疫力了,?因為我知道我需要打破這魔咒?而且我找到了回"家"的路,?為了這種絕對而純粹的熱愛去寫作。?出版之后我繼續(xù)在"家"中創(chuàng)作,?又寫了另一本書, 去年剛剛出版,?獲得的反饋真的還不錯,?這非常好, 不過不是我的重點。?我要說的是我現(xiàn)在正在寫一本新的書,?而且我會在這本書之后繼續(xù)寫下一本,?一本接著一本的寫。?很多書的反響都不會太好,?其中有幾本或許會獲得成功,?不過無論出版后反響如何劇烈,?我的內(nèi)心都會感到平和,?只要我還記得我真心熱愛的是什么。?我不知道你們各自真心熱愛的是什么,?但是我知道這世上一定有什么東西, 能夠讓你們?愛它們勝過愛自己。?當然, 是有價值的東西,?毒癮和讓你過分沉溺的東西不算,?因為我們都知道這不是安全的"家", 不是么?

?唯一的竅門就是你需要找到最好的,?從你熱愛的事物中找到最有價值的,?在這個上面構建自己的"家",?并且一直守護它。?或許會有一天, 不知道什么時候?你會被迫離開自己的"家",?帶著是巨大的成功或者失敗,?那時你需要做的, 就是盡你最大的努力回"家"?而回"家"的唯一方式,?是沉下心來, 投入你的精力,?勤奮, 毅力,?尊重和敬畏,?無論你專注做的是什么事情?只要你遵循心中對這個事情的熱愛。?你只需要堅持, 埋頭苦干,?堅持不懈的做下去,?我可以向你保證, 依據(jù)我個人長期的經(jīng)驗,?無論從哪個角度來來說, 我都可以向你保證,?一切都會好起來的。?謝謝大家。?(掌聲)

So, a few years ago I was at JFK Airport?about to get on a flight,?when I was approached by two women?who I do not think would be insulted?to hear themselves described?as tiny old tough-talking Italian-American broads.

The taller one, who is like up here,?she comes marching up to me, and she goes,?"Honey, I gotta ask you something.?You got something to do with that whole?'Eat, Pray, Love' thing that's been going on lately?"

And I said, "Yes, I did."

And she smacks her friend and she goes,?"See, I told you, I said, that's that girl.?That's that girl who wrote that book?based on that movie."?(Laughter)

So that's who I am.?And believe me, I'm extremely grateful to be that person,?because that whole "Eat, Pray, Love" thing?was a huge break for me.?But it also left me in a really tricky position?moving forward as an author?trying to figure out how in the world?I was ever going to write a book again?that would ever please anybody,?because I knew well in advance?that all of those people who had adored "Eat, Pray, Love"?were going to be incredibly disappointed?in whatever I wrote next?because it wasn't going to be "Eat, Pray, Love,"?and all of those people who had hated "Eat, Pray, Love"?were going to be incredibly disappointed?in whatever I wrote next?because it would provide evidence that I still lived.?So I knew that I had no way to win,?and knowing that I had no way to win?made me seriously consider for a while?just quitting the game?and moving to the country to raise corgis.?But if I had done that, if I had given up writing,?I would have lost my beloved vocation,?so I knew that the task was that I had to find?some way to gin up the inspiration?to write the next book?regardless of its inevitable negative outcome.?In other words, I had to find a way to make sure?that my creativity survived its own success.?And I did, in the end, find that inspiration,?but I found it in the most unlikely?and unexpected place.?I found it in lessons that I had learned earlier in life?about how creativity can survive its own failure.

So just to back up and explain,?the only thing I have ever wanted to be?for my whole life was a writer.?I wrote all through childhood, all through adolescence,?by the time I was a teenager I was sending?my very bad stories to The New Yorker,?hoping to be discovered.?After college, I got a job as a diner waitress,?kept working, kept writing,?kept trying really hard to get published,?and failing at it.?I failed at getting published?for almost six years.?So for almost six years, every single day,?I had nothing but rejection letters?waiting for me in my mailbox.?And it was devastating every single time,?and every single time, I had to ask myself?if I should just quit while I was behind?and give up and spare myself this pain.?But then I would find my resolve,?and always in the same way,?by saying, "I'm not going to quit,?I'm going home."

And you have to understand that for me,?going home did not mean returning to my family's farm.?For me, going home?meant returning to the work of writing?because writing was my home,?because I loved writing more than I hated failing at writing,?which is to say that I loved writing?more than I loved my own ego,?which is ultimately to say?that I loved writing more than I loved myself.?And that's how I pushed through it.

But the weird thing is that 20 years later,?during the crazy ride of "Eat, Pray, Love,"?I found myself identifying all over again?with that unpublished young diner waitress?who I used to be, thinking about her constantly,?and feeling like I was her again,?which made no rational sense whatsoever?because our lives could not have been more different.?She had failed constantly.?I had succeeded beyond my wildest expectation.?We had nothing in common.?Why did I suddenly feel like I was her all over again?

And it was only when I was trying to unthread that?that I finally began to comprehend?the strange and unlikely psychological connection?in our lives between the way we experience great failure?and the way we experience great success.?So think of it like this:?For most of your life, you live out your existence?here in the middle of the chain of human experience?where everything is normal and reassuring and regular,?but failure catapults you abruptly way out over here?into the blinding darkness of disappointment.?Success catapults you just as abruptly but just as far?way out over here?into the equally blinding glare?of fame and recognition and praise.?And one of these fates?is objectively seen by the world as bad,?and the other one is objectively seen by the world as good,?but your subconscious is completely incapable?of discerning the difference between bad and good.?The only thing that it is capable of feeling?is the absolute value of this emotional equation,?the exact distance that you have been flung?from yourself.?And there's a real equal danger in both cases?of getting lost out there?in the hinterlands of the psyche.

But in both cases, it turns out that there is?also the same remedy for self-restoration,?and that is that you have got to find your way back home again?as swiftly and smoothly as you can,?and if you're wondering what your home is,?here's a hint:?Your home is whatever in this world you love?more than you love yourself.?So that might be creativity, it might be family,?it might be invention, adventure,?faith, service, it might be raising corgis,?I don't know, your home is that thing?to which you can dedicate your energies?with such singular devotion?that the ultimate results become inconsequential.

For me, that home has always been writing.?So after the weird, disorienting success?that I went through with "Eat, Pray, Love,"?I realized that all I had to do was exactly?the same thing that I used to have to do all the time?when I was an equally disoriented failure.?I had to get my ass back to work,?and that's what I did, and that's how, in 2010,?I was able to publish the dreaded follow-up?to "Eat, Pray, Love."?And you know what happened with that book??It bombed, and I was fine.?Actually, I kind of felt bulletproof,?because I knew that I had broken the spell?and I had found my way back home?to writing for the sheer devotion of it.?And I stayed in my home of writing after that,?and I wrote another book that just came out last year?and that one was really beautifully received,?which is very nice, but not my point.?My point is that I'm writing another one now,?and I'll write another book after that?and another and another and another?and many of them will fail,?and some of them might succeed,?but I will always be safe?from the random hurricanes of outcome?as long as I never forget where I rightfully live.

Look, I don't know where you rightfully live,?but I know that there's something in this world?that you love more than you love yourself.?Something worthy, by the way,?so addiction and infatuation don't count,?because we all know that those are not safe places to live. Right??The only trick is that you've got to identify?the best, worthiest thing that you love most,?and then build your house right on top of it?and don't budge from it.?And if you should someday, somehow?get vaulted out of your home?by either great failure or great success,?then your job is to fight your way back to that home?the only way that it has ever been done,?by putting your head down and performing?with diligence and devotion?and respect and reverence?whatever the task is that love?is calling forth from you next.?You just do that, and keep doing that?again and again and again,?and I can absolutely promise you, from long personal experience?in every direction, I can assure you?that it's all going to be okay.?Thank you.?(Applause)

?