中英文稿

大家好。 我要給你們介紹一個人。 這是Jomny。 我解釋一下，應(yīng)該叫"Jonny"， 但是"n"不小心拼成了"m"， 人無完人嘛。

Jomny是外星人。 他被送到地球研究人類。 他遠(yuǎn)離家鄉(xiāng)，又孤獨又彷徨。 這種感覺大家都不陌生吧。 至少，對我來說并不陌生。 曾有一段時間， 我感覺自己就像個外星人， 于是寫下了這個外星人的故事。 那時我才搬到劍橋， 剛開始我的MIT博士課程， 感覺勢單力薄、孤立無援， 覺得自己不屬于那里。

但我有一些自救方法。 那時我已經(jīng)連續(xù)多年 在社交網(wǎng)絡(luò)上分享我編的笑話， 而且隨著孤獨感的增加， 我分享的笑話越來越多。

我知道對很多人而言， 網(wǎng)絡(luò)是個孤獨的地方。 就像這里一樣， 寬廣、無窮的一片空虛。 你可以在這里大聲呼喊， 但沒人聽到。 但我在向空虛說話之后， 找到了慰藉。 我發(fā)現(xiàn)，向空虛分享我的感覺以后， 我得到了空虛的回應(yīng)。 我發(fā)現(xiàn)這片空虛， 其實并非無窮孤寂的空間， 而是充滿著不同的人， 這些人也在望著這片空虛， 并且希望自己的心聲得到回應(yīng)。 確實，社交網(wǎng)絡(luò)上充斥著不良信息。 這一點我無法否認(rèn)。 網(wǎng)絡(luò)時時刻刻 讓我們感覺到無比的悲傷、 憤怒和暴力。 有時，感覺就像世界末日。 但同時，我也很矛盾， 因為我也無法否認(rèn)， 我許多特別親近的朋友， 都是通過網(wǎng)絡(luò)認(rèn)識的。 我覺得其中一部分原因， 是社交網(wǎng)絡(luò)的自白屬性。 在網(wǎng)絡(luò)寫非常私人、 親密的日記， 可以是完全隱私的， 但同時你又希望 全世界的人都能讀到。 我認(rèn)為，在其中有一些樂趣， 那就是我們可以從跟自己完全不同 的人的視角，去體驗， 而有些時候，這種體驗是好的。

比如，我最初加入推特時， 發(fā)現(xiàn)很多我關(guān)注的人， 都在探討心理健康、心理咨詢， 而他們在網(wǎng)上的探討， 往往沒有面對面探討 面臨的種種困難。 通過他們，關(guān)于心理健康的 話題變得正常， 他們也幫我認(rèn)識到， 咨詢心理醫(yī)生也可以幫助到我。

我知道對許多人來說， 在網(wǎng)絡(luò)上公開、毫不保留地 探討這些話題 想想就很恐怖。 許多人認(rèn)為，如果你本身 不是一個完美、健全的人， 那在網(wǎng)上就是一件 很恐怖的事情。 但我認(rèn)為，網(wǎng)絡(luò)上的 這種未知是好的， 我們可以用一種 新奇的心態(tài)看待它， 因為對我來說， 分享自己的不完美是重要的， 和他人分享自己的不安和脆弱， 也是必要的。 【我就像一顆洋蔥，一層層撥開以后， 是一個更渺小、更膽怯的洋蔥】

當(dāng)他人分享他們的悲傷、害怕， 或是孤獨的時候， 這其實讓我感覺沒有那么孤單了。 他們沒有讓我擺脫 孤獨的狀態(tài)， 卻讓我認(rèn)識到， 我的孤獨并不孤單。 作為一個作家、藝術(shù)家， 我很重視讓人們能夠一起、 無所顧慮地向他人 分享自己的脆弱。 讓我激動的是， 將內(nèi)在的東西外化， 將我不能用言語表達(dá) 的無形的情感， 公之于眾，為它們賦予文字， 并且和他人分享，

希望它們能為他人 的情感賦予文字。 我知道這些話很大， 但我最終感興趣的是把這些大事， 分成小而易懂的小事， 因為我們可以 把大事隱藏在小事里， 這樣就更方便理解，也更有趣。 這種方式很容易幫助我們 看到我們共同的人性。 有時這些小事， 以故事的形式呈現(xiàn)， 有時是可愛的插畫書。 有時它們是 我網(wǎng)上發(fā)布的傻乎乎的笑話。 舉個例子，幾個月前， 我提出了一個新應(yīng)用的提議： 遛狗服務(wù)， 狗來到你家門前， 你必須出門遛狗，

順便散散步。

（笑） 如果現(xiàn)場有應(yīng)用開發(fā)人員，

等會兒我們可以聊一聊。 再舉個例子， 我會分享每次我發(fā)郵件的焦慮。 郵件落款“最好的(best)”， 指的是“我盡了最好的努力”，

全稱是“千萬別恨我， 我真的盡了最大的努力！” 再比如， 我對一個經(jīng)典問題的回答： 如果我可以和任何一個人吃飯， 不管活人還是死人，

我都愿意，我太孤單了。

（笑） 我發(fā)現(xiàn)，把這些笑話 在網(wǎng)上發(fā)布以后， 得到的回應(yīng)大體相同。 人們聚到一起，分享快樂， 分享感情， 然后快速消失。

（笑聲）

對，我又孤單一人了。 不過我認(rèn)為這些小型聚會 是非常有意義的。

舉例說，我從建筑學(xué)校畢業(yè)， 搬到劍橋以后， 我發(fā)布了這個問題： “你和生命里的多少人， 已經(jīng)不會有交流了？” 我當(dāng)時心里在想 那些搬走的朋友們， 他們?nèi)チ瞬煌某鞘?，甚至國家?我也在想，和他們 保持聯(lián)系會有多難。 之后，網(wǎng)上的其他人開始 分享他們自己的故事。 有人說自己和家人鬧翻了， 有人說自己心愛的人去世了， 一切都發(fā)生得很突然， 很出人意料。 有人說他們學(xué)校里的朋友 也搬走了。 在這之后， 發(fā)生了一些奇妙的事， 人們不只回應(yīng)我的推文， 也開始回應(yīng)彼此的評論， 并且分享自己的經(jīng)歷 來安慰彼此、 鼓勵彼此， 聯(lián)絡(luò)許久不聯(lián)系的朋友， 或是鬧翻了的家人。 結(jié)果，一個微型社區(qū)就這樣形成了。 我們就像組成了互助小組， 組員是各式各樣的人。 我認(rèn)為我們每一次 在網(wǎng)上發(fā)布消息， 都是一個機會， 讓微型社區(qū)成形。 這個機會讓不同背景的人 聚到一起、互相吸引。 并且，有時候在網(wǎng)絡(luò)的淤泥中， 你能找到一個相似的靈魂。 有時你閱讀別人的回復(fù)， 在評論區(qū)讀到一個相當(dāng)友善、 有洞察力、或是好笑的評論。 有時你關(guān)注某人， 并發(fā)現(xiàn)他們已經(jīng)關(guān)注了你。 有時你看著現(xiàn)實生活中的熟人 在網(wǎng)上撰寫的內(nèi)容， 發(fā)現(xiàn)你們有這么多的共同愛好， 并因此走得更近。 有時，如果走運的話， 你會遇到另一個外星人。

【當(dāng)兩個外星人在異鄉(xiāng)相遇， 異鄉(xiāng)就變得更像故鄉(xiāng)】

但我也擔(dān)心，因為我們都清楚， 網(wǎng)絡(luò)給人的主要感覺不是這樣的。 我們知道很大程度上來講， 網(wǎng)絡(luò)就像是一個 讓我們彼此誤解的地方， 一個讓我們彼此發(fā)生沖突， 又充斥著各式各樣的 困惑和歇斯底里的地方， 所有這些東西都太多了。 網(wǎng)絡(luò)就像是一片混亂， 我不知道怎么把好壞分開， 因為我們所知道、看到的壞事， 可能會真的、真的傷害到我們。 似乎我們使用的這些社交平臺， 就是為了無知和惡意設(shè)計的， 這些平臺允許騷擾和濫用， 傳播虛假信息， 讓恨意、惡言惡語， 和由此帶來的暴力橫行， 似乎所有現(xiàn)今的社交平臺， 都沒有盡力采取措施 來解決這個問題。

但是，像許多人一樣， 我還是義無反顧地， 受到網(wǎng)絡(luò)空間的吸引， 因為有時候我感覺 所有人都在網(wǎng)上。 有時候我覺得自己傻乎乎， 甚至于愚蠢， 因為我如此珍視那些 人類聯(lián)系的短小時刻。 但我一直有一個原則， 這些短小時刻并不多余。 它們不代表對外部世界的規(guī)避， 而是我們使用網(wǎng)絡(luò)空間的原因。 它們重要、必不可少， 幫我們肯定、幫我們生活。 它們是微小的庇護所， 讓我們知道自己 沒有想象中孤單。 所以，沒錯， 盡管生活艱難、眾人憂郁， 有一天我們終將死去——

【你看，生活艱難，眾生皆苦， 人固有一死，我這個 充氣城堡就在你面前， 還不快把鞋脫了？】

這句話中的“充氣” 比喻有彈性的城堡， 比喻了我們的人際關(guān)系、 我們和他人的聯(lián)系。

有一天晚上， 我感到特別難過， 對世界無比失望， 我對著網(wǎng)絡(luò)的虛無、 孤獨的黑暗大喊： ”現(xiàn)在這個時候上社交網(wǎng)絡(luò)， 就好像在世界盡頭 握著一個人的手。” 這次回應(yīng)我的不是空虛， 而是網(wǎng)絡(luò)上的人們， 他們回復(fù)我， 并且彼此交談， 漸漸地，這個小社區(qū)形成了。 每個人在一起手拉手。

當(dāng)我們深處生命中 危險、迷茫的時刻， 我覺得，我們需要拉著別人的手。 我知道這是短小的時刻、 微小的舉動， 但我認(rèn)為這是無盡黑暗中的 一絲小小的曙光。

謝謝。

Hello. I'd like to introduce you to someone. This is Jomny. That's "Jonny" but spelled accidentally with an "m," in case you were wondering, because we're not all perfect.

Jomny is an alien who has been sent to earth with a mission to study humans. Jomny is feeling lost and alone and far from home, and I think we've all felt this way. Or, at least I have. I wrote this story about this alien at a moment in my life when I was feeling particularly alien. I had just moved to Cambridge and started my doctoral program at MIT, and I was feeling intimidated and isolated and very much like I didn't belong.

But I had a lifeline of sorts. See, I was writing jokes for years and years and sharing them on social media, and I found that I was turning to doing this more and more.

Now, for many people, the internet can feel like a lonely place. It can feel like this, a big, endless, expansive void where you can constantly call out to it but no one's ever listening. But I actually found a comfort in speaking out to the void. I found, in sharing my feelings with the void, eventually the void started to speak back. And it turns out that the void isn't this endless lonely expanse at all, but instead it's full of all sorts of other people, also staring out into it and also wanting to be heard. Now, there have been many bad things that have come from social media. I'm not trying to dispute that at all. To be online at any given point is to feel so much sadness and anger and violence. It can feel like the end of the world. Yet, at the same time, I'm conflicted because I can't deny the fact that so many of my closest friends are people that I had met originally online. And I think that's partly because there's this confessional natureto social media. It can feel like you are writing in this personal, intimate diary that's completely private, yet at the same time you want everyone in the world to read it. And I think part of that, the joy of that is that we get to experience things from perspectives from people who are completely different from ourselves, and sometimes that's a nice thing.

For example, when I first joined Twitter, I found that so many of the people that I was following were talking about mental health and going to therapy in ways that had none of the stigma that they often do when we talk about these issues in person. Through them, the conversation around mental health was normalized, and they helped me realize that going to therapy was somethingthat would help me as well.

Now, for many people, it sounds like a scary idea to be talking about all these topics so publicly and so openly on the internet. I feel like a lot of people think that it is a big, scary thing to be online if you're not already perfectly and fully formed. But I think the internet can be actually a great place to not know, and I think we can treat that with excitement, because to me there's something important about sharing your imperfections and your insecurities and your vulnerabilities with other people.

Now, when someone shares that they feel sad or afraid or alone, for example, it actually makes me feel less alone, not by getting rid of any of my loneliness but by showing me that I am not alone in feeling lonely. And as a writer and as an artist, I care very much about making this comfort of being vulnerable a communal thing, something that we can share with each other. I'm excited about externalizing the internal, about taking those invisible personal feelings that I don't have words for, holding them to the light, putting words to them, and then sharing them with other people in the hopes that it might help them find words to find their feelings as well.

Now, I know that sounds like a big thing, but ultimately I'm interested in putting all these things into small, approachable packages, because when we can hide them into these smaller pieces, I think they are easier to approach, I think they're more fun. I think they can more easily help us see our shared humanness. Sometimes that takes the form of a short story, sometimes that takes the form of a cute book of illustrations, for example. And sometimes that takes the form of a silly joke that I'll throw on the internet. For example, a few months ago, I posted this app idea for a dog-walking service where a dog shows up at your door and you have to get out of the house and go for a walk.

If there are app developers in the audience, please find me after the talk.

Or, I like to share every time I feel anxious about sending an email. When I sign my emails "Best," it's short for "I am trying my best," which is short for "Please don't hate me, I promise I'm trying my best!"

Or my answer to the classic icebreaker, if I could have dinner with anyone, dead or alive, I would. I am very lonely.

And I find that when I post things like these online, the reaction is very similar. People come together to share a laugh, to share in that feeling, and then to disburse just as quickly.

(Laughter)

Yes, leaving me once again alone. But I think sometimes these little gatherings can be quite meaningful.

For example, when I graduated from architecture school and I moved to Cambridge, I posted this question: "How many people in your life have you already had your last conversation with?" And I was thinking about my own friends who had moved away to different cities and different countries, even, and how hard it would be for me to keep in touch with them. But other people started replying and sharing their own experiences. Somebody talked about a family member they had a falling out with. Someone talked about a loved one who had passed away quickly and unexpectedly. Someone else talked about their friends from school who had moved away as well. But then something really nice started happening. Instead of just replying to me, people started replying to each other, and they started to talk to each other and share their own experiences and comfort each other and encourage each other to reach out to that friend that they hadn't spoken to in a while or that family member that they had a falling out with. And eventually, we got this little tiny microcommunity. It felt like this support group formed of all sorts of people coming together. And I think every time we post online, every time we do this, there's a chance that these little microcommunities can form. There's a chance that all sorts of different creatures can come together and be drawn together. And sometimes, through the muck of the internet, you get to find a kindred spirit. Sometimes that's in the reading the replies and the comments sections and finding a reply that is particularly kind or insightful or funny. Sometimes that's in going to follow someone and seeing that they already follow you back. And sometimes that's in looking at someone that you know in real life and seeing the things that you write and the things that they write and realizing that you share so many of the same interests as they do, and that brings them closer together to you. Sometimes, if you're lucky, you get to meet another alien.

[when two aliebns find each other in a strange place, it feels a litle more like home]

But I am worried, too, because as we all know, the internet for the most part doesn't feel like this. We all know that for the most part, the internet feels like a place where we misunderstand each other, where we come into conflict with each other, where there's all sorts of confusion and screaming and yelling and shouting, and it feels like there's too much of everything. It feels like chaos, and I don't know how to square away the bad parts with the good, because as we know and as we've seen, the bad parts can really, really hurt us. It feels to me that the platforms that we use to inhabit these online spaces have been designed either ignorantly or willfully to allow for harassment and abuse, to propagate misinformation, to enable hatred and hate speech and the violence that comes from it, and it feels like none of our current platforms are doing enough to address and to fix that.

But still, and maybe probably unfortunately, I'm still drawn to these online spaces, as many others are, because sometimes it just feels like that's where all the people are. And I feel silly and stupid sometimes for valuing these small moments of human connection in times like these. But I've always operated under this idea that these little moments of humanness are not superfluous. They're not retreats from the world at all, but instead they're the reasons why we come to these spaces. They are important and vital and they affirm and they give us life. And they are these tiny, temporary sanctuaries that show us that we are not as alone as we think we are. And so yes, even though life is bad and everyone's sad and one day we're all going to die --

[look. life is bad. everyones sad. We're all gona die, but i alredy bought this inflatable bouncey castle so are u gona take Ur shoes off or not]

I think the inflatable metaphorical bouncy castle in this case is really our relationships and our connections to other people.

And so one night, when I was feeling particularly sad and hopeless about the world, I shouted out to the void, to the lonely darkness. I said, "At this point, logging on to social media feels like holding someone's hand at the end of the world." And this time, instead of the void responding, it was people who showed up, who started replying to me and then who started talking to each other, and slowly this little tiny community formed. Everybody came together to hold hands.

And in these dangerous and unsure times, in the midst of it all, I think the thing that we have to hold on to is other people. And I know that is a small thing made up of small moments, but I think it is one tiny, tiny sliver of light in all the darkness.

Thank you.

?