感謝一些美好的人和事物陪伴著我——曾經(jīng)、現(xiàn)在、未來。

以上是我在半年前寫的草稿。

這首歌，很早我就想寫一寫了，但總是因?yàn)樾那椴贿m合而放棄。

前段時(shí)間出差，酒店大堂的角落里擺放著這樣一系列書?！犊蕹鰜硪矝]關(guān)系》、《受批評(píng)也沒關(guān)系》、《不是第一名也沒關(guān)系》……看到這一系列書，挺感慨的。我其實(shí)很希望有人能在我小時(shí)候把這些話告訴我。

I?am?GOD'S?CHILD

この腐敗した世界に墮とされた /?墮落在這個(gè)已腐敗的世界里

How?do?I?live?on?such?a?field?

こんなもののために生まれたんじゃない / 我不是為了這個(gè)而誕生的

最後(おわり)になど手を伸ばさないで / 不要到最后才把你的手伸出來

貴方なら救い出して / 要是你就一定能救我

I contribute this song to a special palylist of mine. I take it as "A Tribute to My Crazy and Desperate Life". Songs here are mostly the desperate ones. If passed by, please keep the slience and peace for me.?I just need a paradise to break out.?

It's been a long time since I quit from Ningbo. The date I created this playlist is exactly one year after my resignation. None of my firends, nor my family knows what I've been throgh. Sometimes I was wandering around the edge of my mind, suicide came in.

I got so anxious and sensitive in my life or work time. I go cycling everyday, just to remind myself that I could do something great and impressive. I shall keep this habit for long since I heard from Siqieer that she's in favor of the way I live, especially with this habit. It shows great vitality, even?life is so shot and?fragile. I've learned this saying from Yanni's live show, Until the last moment.?

I am always motivated and aggressive when dealing with colleagues and friends. But only me knows how reluctant I was to keep myself?alive. "希望明天好天氣" comes to my motto for a long time. In another list of mine, named "Cozy, Cozy", I collect the songs that bring warmth.?

To be frank, I felt quite cozy or released when thinking about suiciding. Just onething that keeps me sober——I wanna see Siqieer. I do agree that it's NOT a good choice to bind your emotions to others. But my dear friends, it's so empty and so estranged here.?I wish WE could loll on the coach?and enjoy the cozy melody together.?

Last weekend, a?friend from high school came to me,?crying to me about his?ex-girlfriend. We went on a walk around the lake in the afternoon. When I saw the people?chatting and eating by the lake, I can‘t help to imagine?how it feels if WE were here, just sitting in the cozy wind, staring at the boring crowd. That shall be?something I would?chasing for.

I went for a bike ride in Aug.?Fortunately, and also unfortunately, I was not killed by a car during the 200km journey. To some extent, I acquiesced to my violent death. Sometimes, I?wish I could avoid the sun in the morning, just die tonight.

As mentioned above, I just need a place to break out. Many ways to collapse, right? If you asked me whether "this" would be committed, I would say "I don't know but I am always trying to prevent ."?

After all, the only things I really care about is my bunny.

We?will see, what will be.

Regarding why I want to write this in English, I consider?writing itself?as?a good filter, and English is just another protection.

P.S.

F?THE COVID

F?THE COVID POLICY