我在一個被上帝遺棄的酒吧里醉醺醺地醒來。一切都在旋轉(zhuǎn)，我的視線模糊不清。我試著移動，卻動彈不得。痛感與麻木使我無法移動。我不記得我進入過這個酒吧，更不用說我喝了多少酒。我真正記得的最后一件事是我像流星一樣落在一顆星球上。

我必須承認，躺在柜臺后面很舒服，然而，我有一種被某個未知存在監(jiān)視的感覺。盡管我一個人也沒看到，又或許只是因為我還沒有抬起頭，他媽的，這些燈幾乎要了我的命！感覺就好像它們是星星本身一樣。不久之后，我意識到它們實際上就是。酒吧的一半，屋頂和地板，慢慢地在空間中消融，仿佛它正緩緩漂浮在宇宙中一般。

我試著移動我的一只沉重的手臂，按響柜臺上的鈴鐺，但無濟于事。我轉(zhuǎn)過頭，在臉的另一側(cè)重重地倒下。墻上掛著許多截然不同的日晷。這讓我想起了機場航站樓里的時鐘，只是它們更漂亮，盡管我不明白它們是如何運作的。

正下方是一個酒柜，里面裝滿了外國瓶子，我一個也不認識。它們大概是用來調(diào)一些很不錯的雞尾酒的，但我并不太好奇。我還沒來得及讓我的目光進一步漫游，一個人，或者至少是一個類似于人的存在，吸引了我的注意。我并沒有聽到它們出現(xiàn)的聲音，但很明顯它們站在我面前。我慢慢抬起我太陽穴正一下一下跳動的頭，面對我的新相識。

它的軀干打扮得相當正式，一件白色襯衫配上一條黑色領(lǐng)帶，金色夾子折疊在同樣黑色的背心下面。但眼前的這張臉卻是——

嗯，沒有臉。

在看起來像是人頭的區(qū)域前有一片完全漆黑的虛空。在它之中好像有什么在涌動。它的臉兩側(cè)是正常的，他的頭發(fā)和他的臉一樣呈現(xiàn)黑色，但似乎像夜空一樣閃閃發(fā)光。我以近乎粗魯?shù)淖藨B(tài)一直盯著它看，直到我的注意力突然被打斷。

“你想點些什么，先生？”

“呃……什么？”

“啊，我很抱歉。我忘了你是新來的。你想——”

“好吧……等一下。這是什么地方？我在哪里？你是誰？我怎——”

“我怎么到這里來的？我是如何在宇宙旅行時進入酒吧的？我昨晚喝酒了嗎？哦，先生，我知道你想問什么，或者更確切地說是每個新來的人想問的問題。請讓我一邊給你倒酒，一邊解釋?！?/p>

“但是我沒有——”

“沒有錢？先生，我從不收飲料或食物的報酬。反正那些東西就在房子里。現(xiàn)在請告訴我，你想點些什么？”它說著，臉上的虛空似乎在旋轉(zhuǎn)，但同時又好像完全靜止。天哪，這些令人討厭的微笑的酒保為什么不能有一張真正的嘴呢？我無法讀懂這個人。

“呃，你能給我弄點水嗎？”我回答。

“水——水？”

“是的，水！拜托了！我已經(jīng)很久沒有喝任何東西了。我不在乎它有多單調(diào)無趣1，我需要喝點什么。”

“請稍等?！彼岩槐К撎尥傅乃乖谝粋€相當花哨的玻璃杯里。我興奮地拿起杯子，在它加冰之前就一飲而盡。

“嗯……”

“請隨意飲用。”他說，他把另一個杯子放在我面前，這一次，冰塊已經(jīng)優(yōu)雅地漂浮在水面上。

“別介意我這樣做！”我喝的水可能比維京人在宴會上喝的啤酒還多，而能阻止我的只有一個矮；

“那么，我親愛的客人，我們可以重新開始嗎？”

“可以，所以我在哪里？”

“嗯，這家酒吧被別人稱為思想終結(jié)的小酒館。在一些更簡單的表達中，他們將其稱為空盡頭酒吧。它存在于無意識和清醒之間。我讓它很難找到。阻止大多數(shù)糟糕的飲酒者進入。”

“所以我有點像某種理念圈的生物？我從來沒有理解那種‘集體意識層面’的東西?！?/p>

“是的，差不多是這樣。”

“嗯，看來確實很難找到。無意冒犯，但你現(xiàn)在這里沒有太多的顧客?！?/p>

“通常情況下，就像在任何酒吧里一樣，酒保一次只服務(wù)一個人，而忽略了很多的人?！?/p>

“考慮到這里這種精致的風格，我在這里做什么？我覺得這很不合適……理念圈層？即使這里不是專為精英階層提供的，似乎也只有一些很特殊的情況才能進到這里。”

“你告訴我，你是怎么來到這里的？我必須承認，我已經(jīng)知道了，但我很想從你的角度聽聽經(jīng)過?！?/p>

“好吧，我可以長話短說，但講完完整的故事需要相當長的時間。”

“嗯，不是我們沒有時間，我是說你已經(jīng)花了三個月的時間恢復意識，然后來到這里。但我認為簡短的版本就足夠了?！?/p>

“……等等，三個月？！我昏迷了三個月？”

“你看，我不知道你是怎么活下來的，也不知道你是如何改造自己的，但是考慮到你已經(jīng)變成一攤你們稱之為血液的紅色液體。就算不考慮你仍是一個人類，你能夠回來就已經(jīng)足夠令人印象深刻了。”

沉默持續(xù)了好一會兒。

“我的身體呢？！怎么回事？！”

“它現(xiàn)在過得很好。你應(yīng)該認為自己很幸運，你墜毀的星球沒有捕食者，或者更確切地說，根本沒有生命。 我可以給你看看?！?/p>

“請。”我猶豫著說，希望不會看到我的尸體變成某種恐怖的東西。一個圓形的開口在我的主人身后打開，向我展示了我的身體目前的狀態(tài)。

“媽的，那是……天哪！”

“需要喝一杯嗎？如果你需要嘔吐，我也可以給你一個水桶?！?/p>

“我寧愿喝一杯?！蔽一仡^看了看那個奇怪的柜子，但依然一樣酒也沒認出來。那里擺著各種顏色和形狀的瓶子，但有些比其他瓶子更突出。一個里面的液體好像熔巖燈一樣發(fā)光和流動的瓶子特別引起了我的注意。

“事實上，喝完這個之后我似乎兩個都需要?！蔽抑钢强膳碌娘嬃?。

“就是它了?！蓖蝗?，酒出現(xiàn)在我們面前。

“還有，你還沒有真正告訴我你自己的事。”

“我寧愿不要，在你聲稱你告訴我你自己之前，我又已經(jīng)知道了。我希望我不是一個粗魯?shù)闹魅恕５俏也?，某種程度上，我的臉讓你好奇，不是嗎？”

“嗯，是的。我的意思是，我從我來的地方看到了一些人形異常，但沒有像你這樣的。而且我似乎暫時被困在這里了?！?/p>

“我不反對你的好奇，但我只向那些打敗我的人透露信息?！?/p>

“別告訴我你的意思是就在實戰(zhàn)里擊敗你?！?/p>

“我想你可以向我發(fā)起挑戰(zhàn)，但一切都很好。只是個警告，你可以試一試，你沒有任何東西可失去，但不要指望贏。我不會輕易對你動手的。不管怎樣說，這是你的飲料?！?/p>

一小杯發(fā)光的液體放在我面前。明亮到刺眼，但不至于傷到我的眼睛。也許我也會嘗到這樣的感覺。“一杯烈酒吧？”我接過杯子，但沒有喝。

“你想要一杯你更熟悉的飲料嗎？”

“不，事實上，再來一杯?！?/p>

另一杯飲料放在空玻璃杯旁邊?！班牛腥讼胱兊脮r髦?！辈恢醯?，我感覺它的臉上會露出一絲笑容。我開始有點喜歡它了。

“我想你誤會我了。這杯是你的。”

“呃，什么？”

“我向你發(fā)起喝酒挑戰(zhàn)?！?/p>

我們換了座位，換了一張更僻靜的桌子，靠近日晷墻。雖然桌子顯然在那里結(jié)束了，但我的同伴已經(jīng)倒出了兩排無限的飲料，似乎超越了無限。然后，我面前那張空蕩蕩的臉停止了旋轉(zhuǎn)。

“什么，不想在工作中喝酒？”

“并不是，無論你贏與否，這都將是一段相當漫長的旅程。好吧……干杯！”

“干杯！”

我們都舉起酒杯，一飲而盡。

一。

我們突然發(fā)現(xiàn)自己置身于一片深水之中，腳下有一道光芒，甚至更深。也許是某種液態(tài)行星？沒關(guān)系，我們沒有呆太久。

二。

我們現(xiàn)在坐在酒吧里，只有我們的桌子放在天花板上，好像我們是下面的一張桌子的投影——或者說上面？我們怎么沒有掉下去，這超出了我的想象。

三。

黑暗，周遭黑暗。然后我們周圍的墻壁被風吹動，宛若一朵巨大的花瓣，輕輕地打開，一個郁郁蔥蔥的花園展現(xiàn)在我們面前——

四。

砰！回到了酒吧。

“跟不上了？”

“我的意思是，這真的很奇怪，但我還沒到撐不下去?！?/p>

“放松，我知道你在欣賞這些風景。我也很喜歡。”

“你到底是從哪里找到這種飲料的？”

“我自己釀造，費了不少事呢?！?/p>

“我正在喝的是一些你的力量或一些愚蠢的狗屎？你到底是什么人？”

“我相信這些答案是我們賭注的一部分，不是嗎？”

“你是對的?！蔽覀兣隽伺鱿乱粋€杯子?！案杀桑　?/p>

五。

我們周圍是廢墟，漂浮在多個島嶼上的天空中。一只巨大的雙頭鳥發(fā)現(xiàn)了我們，似乎要把我們當做下一頓飯。它立即以不可思議的速度向我們沖來，猛烈俯沖，讓禿鷹都感到遜色。哦，天哪，你不知道，那東西有該死的牙——

六。

純白色。

七。

原核生物圍繞著我們。他們移動時發(fā)出使人不安的聲音，如果不是恐怖的話。氣味還要更糟，像是有些東西正在被消化，或者在腐爛。然后我聽到了；

“嘖嘖，去他媽的，我要在這里做個特技?！?/p>

八。

Site-19。自助餐廳的中間。我們的桌子漂浮在他們頭頂至少一米高的地方。當我意識到這一點時，我實在無法忍耐；

“祝蠢蛋研究員好運！”

九。

又回了到酒吧。然而，不知何故，我們調(diào)換了座位……和衣服。我剛剛意識到，我現(xiàn)在已經(jīng)多次回到地球了……我的酒友，也知道。然而，此刻我并不感到遺憾。也許是酒精？哈哈，酒精。

十。

太空中的某個角落，到處都是星星和星星。讓我想起了我眼前的那張臉。它是怎么喝酒的？他媽的，我可能看不出它怎么喝酒，但我肯定會看到它能喝多少。

十一。

再一次回到酒吧。在桌子的正確的位置，更重要的是我穿著我自己的衣服。我們倆都沒有伸手去拿下一個玻璃杯。

“請不要告訴我，在這一切之后，我是唯一一個想嘔吐的人?！?/p>

“你還能嘔吐？你把飲料倒在你深不見底的臉上，然后喝醉了，沒想到它還能反過來工作?！?/p>

“如果你以為它是個無底洞，又為什么要和我比喝酒？”

“嗯，我猜想你沒有多少身體，如果你確實有的話。特別是因為——鄉(xiāng)巴佬。如果這不是一些概念或令人難以置信的平面或其他什么，基金會和我在某種程度上肯定已經(jīng)發(fā)現(xiàn)了這么多?！?/p>

“令我驚訝的是，你們怎么如此正確，同時又錯得這么離奇，你們甚至自己都不知道?！?/p>

“想解釋一下嗎？”

“哦，我會的……如果你能打敗我?！?/p>

十二。

我們逞能般一飲而盡。它的臉比我更早地開始低下，然后撞上了桌子。奇異的變幻再次發(fā)生，但并沒像我所期待的那樣由于我的酒友的倒下而變失控或持續(xù)。不，它只是又發(fā)生了一次。

我們最終坐在了長凳上。就是那種你會在一個設(shè)施齊全的公園里找到的木制的長凳。在它之上是一片星云，在發(fā)出微弱光芒的紫色霧氣中若隱若現(xiàn)。我抬起頭，不禁想起當初我是如何陷入這種情況的。我的目光在這令人嘆為觀止的景色上流連，星云中的星光交相輝映。我默默地等待我的新朋友醒來，四周的靜謐比幼鳥的新絨還要輕柔，溫柔地陪伴著我。

我不知道我在那里呆了多久，沒準又是三個月。

我不在乎。

……

至于它，它看起來也喜歡這種寧靜與舒緩。也許是由于宿醉，它沒有立即說話。但最終，我期待的獲勝獎勵來了。

“所以，你認為我是誰？”

“這不是應(yīng)該由你來告訴我嗎？”

“是的，但是在我向你坦露身份前，我很好奇你是怎么看待我的，或者說，你都知道什么。”

“我不知道。靈界仙人還是什么？不過，你是一個很棒的調(diào)酒師。真可惜我沒法給你小費?！?/p>

“謝謝，但錢不重要。我是——我是——”

“嗯？”

“我是宇宙。不，我只是現(xiàn)在的宇宙的意識?！?/p>

“等等，那怎么會——”

“我失去了對自己身體幾乎全部的控制。你知道，恒星和星座，行星，軌道，整個星團，以及所有其他的東西。”

“怎么會這樣。你不應(yīng)該是無所不能的嗎？”

“不，我不是。你看我可以做很多事情，或者至少，我曾可以。就像你在我們喝酒時候看到的那樣，耍些把戲。問題是……我的身體，真正的宇宙——或者，原始宇宙，很久以前就死了。

“原始的？”

“是的，它——我死了，或者更確切地說是反復死去。或者至少在這個過程中發(fā)生了某些變化。這有點難以解釋，尤其是因為它發(fā)生在很久以前。我知道我們有的是時間——總之，現(xiàn)在，宇宙不存在了，但是整件事很復雜?！?/p>

“等等，宇宙正在消亡還是什么？你不能干涉嗎？”

“為什么是我？見鬼，我為什么要這樣做？我只是讓大多數(shù)事情順其自然。我也想多活一會，這樣每個人都開心，但我不會再違背自然了。此外，即使我想這樣做，我也做不到了?！?/p>

“所以你嘗試像這樣操縱了事物？”

“是也不是，我第一次以為自己會死卻沒有死去時，陷入了一個重置循環(huán)，最初這看起來很好。但是在越來越多的循環(huán)之后，事情開始變得有點奇怪。更多你已經(jīng)見識過的不同的設(shè)定和異常出現(xiàn)了。有些就此一直存在，其余的消失無蹤，但有時又重新出現(xiàn)?！?/p>

“這些并沒有——”

“回答你的問題？誠然，它沒有。好吧，有一天出現(xiàn)了一些東西。連我自己都不知道怎么看待它。它是否是某種類似于多次重新啟動時發(fā)生的計算機損壞？這是強制違抗自然事物的產(chǎn)物嗎？還是說這是一部分想要死去或者從我身上獨立的我自己？不管它實際上是什么，它都是破壞性的，我無法讓它在接下來的循環(huán)中消失。相信我，我試過了。這就是我試圖操縱的。我不知道這是對還是錯。甚至宇宙也會犯錯誤?！?/p>

“我本以為犯錯是人類的專利?！?/p>

“不，即便是在宇宙層面，犯錯也是一件普遍的事情，我只是在你面前轉(zhuǎn)變?yōu)榻咏祟惖男问?。我認為這只是一種禮儀。”

“那你打算怎么辦？”

“我能夠?qū)⑺г谝粋€星球上，讓它不斷地在該行星內(nèi)部出現(xiàn)。當它開始逃脫時，我向其他物種尋求了幫助。

“然后怎么樣了？”

“那個物種現(xiàn)在滅絕了?！?/p>

“哦……”

“好吧，如果你能想到阻止它的方法，請立刻告訴我?！?/p>

“我想我沒準可以在回家之前在那里歇下腳，而且我認為我?guī)缀鯚o法殺死。盡管這種不死并不是我想要的，但它肯定會派上用場?！?/p>

“拜托，不要真的考慮去。那個東西將會殺死你，即便沒有，你也會重復你的死亡。對待像這樣的循環(huán)不能掉以輕心，你應(yīng)該從我剛剛告訴你的事情中知道這一點。”

它的聲音里有一種真正的顫抖，就在這一刻，我看到了最后一杯飲料。

“我會考慮的。哥們，你真的棒呆了，但我認為我是時候離開了。”

“哥們？伙計，我是宇宙，我是無性的。不管怎樣，我會帶你離開這里，但請答應(yīng)我——”

“抱歉，我不會再這樣叫你了。哦，關(guān)于離開，我忘了說?！?/p>

“嗯？”

我用兩根手指夾住飲料并且舉起它；“干杯！”

它喊道；“等等！”并伸出一只手。

我不確定是否是它幫助了我回來，但隨后我在沙漠中驚醒，周圍都是干涸的血液。我不清楚在這中間是否發(fā)生了什么，但我感到身上的每一寸都在疼痛，遠遠超出我的預期。

最糟的是我的宿醉。

I woke up in a state of drunkenness in a godforsaken bar. Everything was spinning, and my vision was blurry. I tried to move, but couldn't. Too much pain and too numb to move. I don't remember entering this bar, let alone how much I had drunk. The last thing I actually remembered was me?falling down on a planet like a meteor.

I must confess it was quite comfortable laying behind the counter but there was this feeling of being watched by an unknown presence. Yet my perception didn't spot a single soul around, probably because I hadn't lifted my head yet, and fuck, these lights were killing me! Almost as if they were the stars itself, which not much later, I realized that they actually were. Half of the bar, roof and floorboards alike, deteriorated slowly into space, as if it was slowly floating in the universe.

I was able to move one of my heavy arms and rang the bell on the counter, to no avail. I turned my head and smacked down on the other side of my face. There were multiple, wildly different, sundials on the wall. It reminded me of clocks in an airport terminal, just prettier, although I didn't understand how they'd work inside.

Right below was a liquor cabinet full of foreign bottles I didn't recognize even a single one from. They would probably make for some good cocktails, but I didn't want to find out. Before I could let my gaze wander further, a person, or at least a being resembling?a person, gained my attention. I did not hear them coming but it was clear they stood in front of me. I slowly raised my pulsing head to face my new acquaintance.

Their torso was dressed up rather formal, a white shirt complimented by a black tie and a golden clip folded underneath an equally black vest. But the face before me was-

Well, there was no face.

There was a complete pitch black void in front what mostly seemed to resemble a human head. And it?moved inside itself?like some kind of stream. The sides of his face were normal and his hair was as dark as his face, but seemed to sparkle as the night sky. I kept staring, most likely something that would be considered rude, until I was snapped out of my focus.

"What would you like to order, Sir?"

"Uh… Excuse me?"

"Ah, my apologies. I forgot that you are new to this establishment. Would you like to-"

"Okay… hold on a second. What is this place? Where am I? Who are you? How-"

"How did I get here? How did I end up in a bar whilst traveling the universe? Did I have a drink last night? Oh Sir, I know the questions on your mind, or rather on every newcomer's mind. Please, let me elaborate whilst I pour you a drink."

"But I don't have-"

"Any money? Sir, I never take payment for drinks or food. It's on the house anyway. Now please tell me, what can I pour you?" They said as the void in their face seemed to swirl yet be at a complete standstill at the same time. God, why couldn't I have those obnoxious smiling barmen with a real mouth instead? I couldn't get a read on this guy.

"You know what, can you get me some water?" I answered.

"Wa- Water?"

"Yes, Water! Please! It's been so long since I was able to drink?anything. I don't care if it's cliché but I need to ease this thirst."

"Please, give me a moment." And they poured a glass of crystal clear water in a rather fancy glass. In excitement I took the glass and downed it before they could add the ice.

"Aaaaah…"

"Please, feel free to help yourself." He said, as he put another glass before me, this time the ice was already floating graciously on the surface.

"Don't mind if I do!" I probably drank more water than a Viking drank beer during a feast, and I was only stopped by a short;

"So, my dear guest, shall we start over?"

"Yeah, so where am I?"

"Well, this bar is mostly called the thought-end tavern by others. In some simpler dialects, they refer to it as the void-end pub. It exists somewhere between unconsciousness and being awake. I made it rather hard to find. Keeps most abysmal drinkers from entering."

"So I'm something like the noosphere? I never really got that 'plane of collective consciousness' stuff."

"Yes, something like that."

"Well, seems like it's indeed hard to find. Not to be rude, but you don't have much patrons here at the moment."

"Normally, as within any bar, a barman only serves one at the time whilst overlooking many."

"Based on the rather fine style here, what am I doing here? I feel rather out of place in this… noospheric plane? Even if it isn't for some elite class, this is quite the unique situation."

"You tell me, how did you end up here? I must confess, I already know, but I would love to hear things from your perspective."

"Well, I can put it real simple but the full story is gonna take quite a bit of time."

"Hmm, not that we don't have time, I mean you already took three months to regain consciousness once and get here. But I think the short version is good enough for now."

"… Wait, three months?! I was out for three months?"

"Look, I don't know how you survived or were able to reform yourself, but you were reduced to a pile of red liquid you call blood. The fact that you somehow came back is already more than impressive. Even without accounting that you are in fact a human."

The silence that fell took more than just a moment.

"What about my body?! How is it?!"

"It's taking its sweet time. You should consider yourself lucky the planet you crashed into doesn't have predators, or rather life at all. I could show you."

"Please do." I hesitantly said, hoping to not see myself as some piece of body horror. A circular opening opened behind my host and showed me my current state.

"Fuck, that's … Oh God!"

"Need a drink? I can also offer you a bucket if you need to puke."

"I'd rather have that drink." I looked back to the weird cabinet and still didn't recognize anything. There were bottles of all kind of colours and shapes but some stood out more than others. One whose liquid glowed and moved like a lavalamp caught my eye in particular.

"Actually, I'm probably going to need both after trying that." as I pointed to that horrific drink.

"That one it is then." And suddenly the liquor appeared in front of us.

"Also, you still haven't really told me about yourself."

"I'd rather not, and before you claim you told me about yourself, again, I already knew. Also I don't believe I've been a rude host. But if I may ask, it's partially my face that makes you curious isn't it?"

"Well, yeah. I mean, I've seen some humanoid anomalies where I came from, but I just can't place you. And I seem pretty much stuck here for the time being."

"I'm not against it, but I only reveal things to people that have bested me."

"Please don't tell me you mean as in actual combat."

"I suppose you could challenge me in combat, but anything is fine really. Just a heads up, you can give it a shot and you don't have a thing to lose, but don't expect to win. I won't go easy on you. Anyway, here is your drink."

A small shot glass of glowing liquid stood in front of me. Bright enough to tingle my eyes, but not enough to hurt them. Perhaps I'd taste like that as well. "A shot, huh?" I took the glass but didn't down it.

"Would you like a drink that resembles something you are more familiar with?"

"No, in fact, give me another shot."

Another shot was placed right next to the other glass. "Well, someone wants to get buzzy." Somehow I got the feeling a small grin would have been on their face. I began to like them.

"I think you misunderstood me. This glass is yours."

"Uh, excuse me?"

"I challenge you to a drinking game."

We had changed our seats to a more secluded table adjacent to the sundial wall. Whilst the table clearly ended there, my companion had poured out two infinite rows of shots that seemingly went beyond. Then the empty face in front of me stopped swirling.

"What, don't want to drink on the job?"

"It's not that, whether you win or not, this is gonna be quite the ride. Well… Cheers!"

"Cheers!"

We both raised our glass and downed it.

One.

We suddenly found ourselves in the middle of a deep body of water with a glow underneath our feet even deeper below. Some kind of liquid planet perhaps? It didn't matter, we didn't stay long.

Two.

We now sat in a pub, only our table was set on the ceiling, as if we mirrored one of the tables below- above us? How didn't we fall down was beyond me.

Three.

Dark, it was dark. Then the walls around us moved by the wind and revealed themselves to be the petals of a giant flower which gently fell open, showing us a lushious garden of-

Four.

WHAM! Back in the bar.

"Can't keep up?"

"I mean this is some pretty strong stuff, but I am not down for the count just yet."

"Relax, I know you were taking in the view. I quite like it too."

"Where the hell did you find this drink?"

"I brew it myself, used quite a bit of power for it."

"I'm drinking your power or some?Hick.?shit like that? Who the hell are you?"

"I believe those answers were part of our wager, weren't they?"

"You got me there." And we clinked our next glasses. "Bottom's up!"

Five.

Ruins around us, floating in the sky on multiple islands no less. A giant two-headed bird spotted us and seemed to take us for it's next meal. Immediately it torpedoed at an incredible speed towards us in a nosedive that would put a buzzard to shame. Oh god, wouldn't you know it, that thing has goddamn tee-

Six.

Complete white.

Seven.

Prokaryotes around us. The sound of them moving was very unsettling, if not straight up disturbing. Wasn't as bad as the smell though, something was either being digested or decaying. Then I heard it;

"Aight, fuck it, I'm gonna pull a little stunt here."

Eight.

Site-19. Middle of the cafetaria. Our table floating no less than a meter over their heads. I couldn't hold myself back when I realised;

"Good luck with the paperwork suckers!"

Nine.

Back at the bar. However, somehow we changed from seat… and clothes. I just realized that I could have gone back to earth multiple times by now… My drinking mate, knew as well. And yet, I was not having any regrets at the moment. Perhaps it was the alcohol? Aaaah, the alcohol.

Ten.

Some random place in the middle of space, with stars and stars wherever you could see. Reminded me of the face in front of me. How do they even drink? Fuck it, I might not see how they drink, but I certainly will see if they can hold their liquor.

Eleven.

Back at the bar. On the right side of the table, and more importantly back in my own clothes. Neither of us reached to the next glass.

"Please don't tell me I'm the only one that's feeling like vomiting after all this."

"Can you even do that? You pour drinks into your bottomless face and get drunk, didn't think it could work the other way around."

"If you thought it was bottomless, why would you challenge me to drink with you?"

"Well, I kinda expected you to not have much of a body, if at all. Especially since-?Hick.?If this weren't some conceptual or mind boggling plane or whatever, the Foundation, and I to a certain extend, would definitely already found out that much."

"It surprises me how you are both so right, yet so wrong and you don't even know it."

"Care to explain?"

"Oh, I will… if you manage to beat me."

Twelve.

Overconfidently, we took our shots. Their face started to lower to the table a mere moment earlier than mine. And then they hit their face against it. Then the weird shifting stuff happened again, not uncontrollably or continuously as I expected now that my drinking mate was out. No, it happened just one more time.

We ended up on a bench. You know, one of the wooden kind you'd find in a well kept park. It looked out over a nebula partially hidden by a pink fog that subtly emitted light. I raised my head, which reminded me of how I got into this situation in the first place, and let my eyes rest on the breathtaking view. They probably were glimmering from, and back to, all the stars it showed me. Whilst I waited for my new friend to sober up, the silence had fallen gentler than a hatchling's plume and kept me company.

I don't know how long I'd been there, it could have been another three months for all that I cared.

I did not mind.

…

And they, they too liked the silence and the change of pace. They didn't talk right away, perhaps due to the influence of a hangover as well. But eventually my fairly won explanation came.

"So, who do you think I am?"

"Weren't you supposed to tell me that?"

"Yes, but I'd like to know how you see me before I drop the facade, or rather, some facts."

"I don't know. A spiritual celestial being or something? You make for one hell of a bartender though. A shame I can't tip you."

"Thanks, but money isn't really an issue. I'm- I'm-"

"Hmm?"

"I'm the universe. No, I'm just the awareness of the universe nowadays."

"Wait, how would that wo-"

"I lost control of my body, or at least nearly all of it. You know, stars and constellations, planets, orbits, entire clusters, and all the rest."

"How would that even happen. Like aren't you omnipotent or something?"

"No, I'm not. You see I can do a lot, or at least, I could. Still can do some tricks though as you saw between our drinking. The problem is… my body, the actual universe- Wait no, the?original universe?died a long time ago."

"The original?"

"Yeah, it- I died or rather am dying repeatedly.?Or at least something in those trends. It's a bit hard to explain, especially since it happened so long ago. I know we have all the time in the world- No universe, now, but it is complicated."

"Wait so the universe is dying or something? Can't you interfere?"

"Why would I? Hell, why should I? I am just letting most things run their course. I don't mind living a bit longer if it makes everyone happy, but I won't go against nature anymore. Besides I can't do that anymore even if I wanted to."

"So you have manipulated things here and there along the lines?"

"Yes and no, see when I first thought I was going to die, and didn't because I wound up in a reset loop, everything seemed fine. But after more and more loops things started to get a little weird. More?different settings?and anomalies as you'd know them appeared. Some things keep existing, others disappear, sometimes even reappear."

"That does not-"

"Answer your question? No, it doesn't. Well, one day?something showed up. Even I don't know how to look at it. Is it like a corruption in computers that happened over multiple reboots? Is it a thing enforcing something natural? Is it perhaps a part of me that wants to die or became its own being? Regardless of what it actually is, it is destructive and I could not make it disappear in the following loops. Trust me, I tried. That's what I tried to manipulate. Whether it's the right or wrong call I don't know. Even the universe makes mistakes."

"Making mistakes is a human thing to do as well."

"No, making mistakes is a universal thing to do, I just look humane to you because this is the form I shifted into. I think it's just a nice courtesy."

"So what you gonna do about it?"

"I was able to trap it in a planet, only for it to keep appearing from inside said planet. Then when it began breaking out, I reached out to?other species?to help."

"How did it go?"

"They are now extinct."

"Oh…"

"Well, if you can think of a way to stop it, feel free to let me know."

"I guess I can do a pitstop before trying to go home, also I think I'm pretty much unkillable. Not that I want to but it definitely might come in handy."

"Please, don't actually consider that. Because that thing?will?kill you, and if not you'll just die on repeat as well. Loops like that aren't something to take lightly, you should know from what I just told you."

There was a genuine trembling in their voice, and it was at this moment that I saw one last shot at my feed.

"I'll think about it. You've been one hell of a dude but I think it's beginning to be time for me to take my leave."

"Dude? Mate, I'm the universe, I'm unisex. Anyway, I'll get you out of here but please promise me-"

"My bad, won't happen again. Oh, and about leaving, I wasn't asking."

"Huh?"

I took the shot between my two fingers and raised it; "Ad fundum!"

They shouted; "Wait!" and reached out with one hand.

Now, I can't say for sure if they helped me get back, but I woke up in a desert with dried blood all around me. I don't know if something happened in between, but everything hurt a lot, more than expected.

But my hangover was the worst.