原文如下：

I'll never forget my first panic attack—it was absolutely terrifying. I couldn't catch my breath, my heart was pounding like crazy, my arms and legs were shaking, and I felt this intense fear like I'd never experienced before. It was the scariest thing.

The fear of having another panic attack made me jumpy about anything that could stir up my emotions. During my second year of grad school, things got even tougher with the Shanghai lockdown due to the pandemic. Honestly, that period felt like a really dark time.

After the lockdown ended, I reached out to a psychiatrist for help. But when I stood in that crowded hospital, it felt like I was on the verge of having another panic attack. I realized I just couldn't handle normal life anymore.

In the next six months, I went through the pandemic outbreak in mainland China, and yes, I got infected too. On top of that, I had to work on my thesis, which piled on a lot of stress.

I get it that talking about tough stuff like this can be heavy, but I want to share how I've been slowly getting better with my anxiety. I hope my story can help others who are still dealing with it.

Now, when I say I've 'recovered,' I don't mean I'm totally anxiety-free. Every once in a while, I still get physical symptoms, have a breakdown, shed some tears, especially when dealing with personal stuff. But mostly, it's on the emotional side.

I came to realize that anxiety is a bit like tossing stones into a calm lake. The more resistance we carry inside, the more turbulence we create on the outside.

We do have a choice in whether we toss those metaphorical stones or not. If we let our thoughts run the show and agree with everything they say, we end up chucking those stones involuntarily, which just adds to the pain.

We can start by simply observing our thoughts when we're about to toss those metaphorical stones. Instead of fighting them, we can try accepting all our thoughts through meditation. It's pretty amazing—you begin to see that everything is just an experience.

In time, those metaphorical stones start to disappear, and you don't feel the urge to throw them anymore. You gain a kind of freedom from being bossed around by your thoughts and become more like an impartial observer.

So, to wrap things up, I'd like to share a perspective I stumbled upon recently. Just like Taoism talks about how 'dao follows nature,' happiness is seen as natural, so why can't anxiety be viewed as natural too?

I trust that my personal journey can offer valuable insights. I extend my heartfelt wishes to all that we may cease our pursuit of what we call 'recovery,' for indeed, recovery resides in the present moment—when we wholeheartedly embrace the pain.