正文翻譯

Feeling socially connected is a need all of us share, but human interaction isn’t the only way to get it

感覺與社會有聯(lián)系是我們所有人都需要的，但人際交往并不是獲得它的唯一途徑

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There was a point, midway through quarantine, where I started to wonder if I was made for it.

有一次，在隔離期間，我甚至開始懷疑我是否適合這樣做。

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I’m used to alone time in abundance — I spent seven years living on my own. And I know firsthand that loneliness and being alone are two different things, and that the presence or absence of other people isn’t necessarily tied to the emotional state. Still, as the time in lockdown stretched on, I braced myself for the wave of loneliness to hit.

我已經(jīng)習(xí)慣了大量的獨(dú)處時(shí)間——我獨(dú)自生活了七年。我親身體會到，孤獨(dú)和獨(dú)處是兩件不同的事情，其他人的存在或不存在不一定與情緒狀態(tài)有關(guān)。盡管如此，隨著被封鎖時(shí)間的延長，我還是做好了迎接孤獨(dú)浪潮的準(zhǔn)備。

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Strangely, it never did. I’m not saying I’ve been enjoying this time — I’d do some terrible things for a carefree dinner out right now — but for the most part, I’ve been doing okay without in-person socializing. I’m bored. I’m anxious. But I’m not terribly lonely.

奇怪的是，從來沒有。我不是說我很享受這段時(shí)間，我現(xiàn)在會做一些糟糕的事情來享受一頓無憂無慮的晚餐。但大多數(shù)情況下，我不進(jìn)行面對面的社交也還可以。我會覺得無聊和焦慮，但我并不感到十分孤獨(dú)。

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Some people, it turns out, really are less susceptible to loneliness while alone. Or, more specifically, some people have already been living the conclusion of a recent study: that spending time with other people isn’t the only way to feel a sense of belonging. And while the country may be inching toward reopening right now, the warnings of new spikes, second waves, and returns to lockdown mean all of us would benefit from getting to know the alternatives.

事實(shí)證明，有些人在獨(dú)處時(shí)確實(shí)不太容易感到孤獨(dú)。或者，更具體地說，一些人已經(jīng)經(jīng)歷了最近一項(xiàng)研究得出的結(jié)論：與他人相處并不是獲得歸屬感的唯一途徑。雖然這個國家現(xiàn)在可能正在慢慢地重新開放，但是新的高峰、第二波和重新封鎖的警告意味著我們所有人都將受益于其他替代選擇。

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We’ve adapted to find connection where we can. Watching Friends can make you feel like you, too, are settling into the sofa at Central Perk. Cooking up your grandmother’s lasagna recipe can feel like a moment of bonding, even if you’re the only one in the kitchen. In fact, Paravati Harrigan and her co-authors found that people who turn to these nontraditional strategies aren’t any lonelier, less happy, or less fulfilled than those who rely on traditional social sources.

我們已經(jīng)適應(yīng)了在可能的地方找到聯(lián)系?？蠢嫌延浺部梢宰屇阌X得自己坐在Central Perk咖啡館的沙發(fā)上。即使你是一個人待在廚房做祖母的千層面食譜也是一種親密的時(shí)刻。實(shí)際上，Paravati Harrigan及其合著者發(fā)現(xiàn)，轉(zhuǎn)向這些非傳統(tǒng)策略的人們比那些依靠傳統(tǒng)社會資源的人們不會更孤獨(dú)，更不幸?；蚋怀鋵?shí)。

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The same activities won’t have the same effect for everyone. One person’s Instagram deep dive on their favorite reality star might be another’s gaming session or time curled up with a book. The key is to find whatever works for you, both to keep you feeling socially fulfilled and to beat back feelings of loneliness that may have already taken hold. (Pavarati Harrigan notes that the strategies in the study have also been shown to blunt the sting of social rejection.)

相同的活動不會對所有人產(chǎn)生相同的效果。有些人獲取快樂的方法可能是通過追隨他們最喜歡的真人秀明星，另一個則可能通過游戲，其他人可能沉迷于書籍。關(guān)鍵是要找到對自己有用的方式，既可以使您感到社交滿足，又可以消除可能已經(jīng)占據(jù)上風(fēng)的孤獨(dú)感。（帕瓦拉蒂·哈里根（Pavarati Harrigan）指出，該研究中的策略也被證明可以減輕社會排斥感。

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Pavarati Harrigan says it helps to think of your social needs with a fuel tank metaphor: The fuller the tank, the less lonely you’re likely to feel. When our options for filling it with normal socialization are limited, relying on alternative sources can help you make up some of the difference.

帕瓦拉蒂·哈里根（Pavarati Harrigan）說，用油箱這個比喻有助于思考你的社會需求：油箱越滿，你越不會感到孤獨(dú)。如果我們無法通過正常社交來填充它，那么依靠替代資源可以幫助你彌補(bǔ)一些差距。

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This is reassuring in the midst of social isolation, and it may also come in handy when alone time is in short supply once again.

這在社會隔離期間是讓人安心的，當(dāng)我們再次缺少獨(dú)處時(shí)間時(shí)，它也可能派上用場。

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評論翻譯

Laura Stewart
I’ve long been trying to reassure my parents that I’m fine and never get lonely, even though I spend a lot of time alone and am not married. I have a ton of interests and pursuits, many of which are just as fulfilling done alone as with a group. I’ve never understood why people pressure others to socialize constantly.

我一直在努力安慰我的父母，，即使我花了很多時(shí)間獨(dú)處，沒有結(jié)婚，但我很好，我也并不孤獨(dú)。我有很多興趣和追求，其中很多都是獨(dú)自完成的，就像和一群人一起完成一樣。我一直不明白為什么人們總是強(qiáng)迫別人去社交。

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Nandanan Kannan Pulakal
You can add me to the list of people who do not feel lonely.
Very insightful article.

我是屬于感覺不到孤獨(dú)感的人。
非常有見地的文章。

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Dom Powell
I honestly can’t understand how anyone could feel lonely in this age of the internet and easily available books, films and music. They allow us to connect to people through time and space. I’m never lonely if I have a good book to read.

老實(shí)說，我無法理解在這個人們很容易能獲得書籍，電影和音樂的互聯(lián)網(wǎng)時(shí)代，都會感到孤獨(dú)。 互聯(lián)網(wǎng)幫助我們穿越時(shí)空，與他人建立聯(lián)系。 如果有一本好書，我永遠(yuǎn)不會孤單。

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Trisha Traughber
This article is really validating--thank you for writing it. I am often exhausted by ''too many people'' and have changed from being an ''in person'' high school teacher to an online teacher/coach--so this confinement has changed literally nothing for me professionally. But, suddenly my whole family is home, so I''m with people all the time :) --interestingly, that has been my challenge. Not loneliness.

這篇文章確實(shí)很有說服力，感謝您寫下了這篇文章。 我經(jīng)常因?yàn)楹吞嗟娜私煌械狡v不堪，我從線下的高中老師變成了線上老師，這種限制對我的職業(yè)實(shí)際上沒有任何改變。 但是，突然間我整天都待在家里了，所以我一直和家人待在一起。有趣的是，我把它看做挑戰(zhàn)。而不是孤獨(dú)感。

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Erica Johnson
I was wondering why the social distancing wasn''t affecting me much! Don''t get me wrong, I''m a very social person. But I really didn''t notice much of a change from my day to day. I did manage to pick up a knitting project, started 2 years ago. And I''ve started playing guitar, with online lessons. I have so much that I''m doing and want to do …

我在想為什么社交距離對我影響不大！別誤會，我也是個很愛社交的人。但我真的沒有注意到每天都有什么變化。我開始著手一個兩年前開始的針織項(xiàng)目。我開始在網(wǎng)上學(xué)習(xí)彈吉他了。我有太多要做和想做的事情了。

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Lee Chapman
I vastly prefer my own company to spending time with others. I find most people far to annoying and needy too waste time on.

我非常喜歡和自己相處，而不愿意與其他人在一起。 我發(fā)現(xiàn)大多數(shù)人都很煩人，并且和他們在一起是浪費(fèi)時(shí)間。

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Theodor Dimitriou
Well said Deanna!
Your best friend is and should be yourself, and then anyone else.
I would add only that people who are not happy with themselves do feel more lonely and need constantly someone to keep them busy.

說得很好Deanna！
你最好的朋友應(yīng)該是你自己，而不應(yīng)該是其他人。
我只能說人們對自己不滿意的話可能會覺得更加孤獨(dú)，所以需要他人讓他們忙碌起來。

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Oakley Roberts
Still, as the time in lockdown stretched on, I braced myself for the wave of loneliness to hit.
Great read! I have always been outgoing and extroverted, so I was concerned that I would feel lonely, bored, and depressed during social distancing, but actually I found the opposite. This time has more or less forced me to turn within to find new sources of energy. I’ve started (and really enjoy!) doing yoga, writing poetry, and reading more for…

但是，隨著封鎖時(shí)間的延長，我為即將到來的孤獨(dú)浪潮做好了準(zhǔn)備。
很棒的文章！ 我一直都很外向，所以我擔(dān)心在社交疏離過程中我會感到孤獨(dú)，無聊和沮喪，但實(shí)際上我發(fā)現(xiàn)情況恰恰相反。 這次或多或少地迫使我尋找新的能量來源。 我已經(jīng)開始并且非常享受做瑜伽，寫詩和閱讀。

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Sajad Sepehri
The study, published in the journal Self and Identity, found that so-called nontraditional social strategies—such as playing with a pet, eating comfort foods, listening to music
The ways we, as humans, feel belonging is changing as the communication technologies are changing. Nothing can replace the interpersonal and face to face interaction in our social life. That is the fact that we feel connected in so many ways with our surroundings, but the human environment is other humans.

這項(xiàng)研究發(fā)表在《自我與身份》（Self and Identity）雜志上，發(fā)現(xiàn)所謂的非傳統(tǒng)社交策略，例如與寵物玩耍，吃舒適的食物，聽音樂。
隨著通信技術(shù)的變化，我們?nèi)祟惈@取歸屬感的途徑也在發(fā)生變化。 在我們的社會生活中，沒有什么能取代人際互動和面對面的互動。 我們與周圍環(huán)境有很多聯(lián)系，這也是事實(shí)，但人類環(huán)境是與其他人類互動。

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Emma V. R. Noyes
some people don''t get lonely?!? sounds amazing.

一些人從來沒有感到孤獨(dú)，聽起來太神奇了。

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Oloya Joseph
I’m not saying I’ve been enjoying this time
I thought it was only me.

我不是說我很享受獨(dú)處，我以為只有我一個人。

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Galit Birk, PhD
We’ve adapted to find connection where we can.
As an ENFP personality type, an extrovert who derives energy from being around others, I have surprised myself during this time in that I too have adjusted to being alone and not lonely. I believe that some of this is simple a state of mind and a shift in how I related to alone-time.

我已經(jīng)學(xué)會了自娛自樂。
作為一個ENFP（外傾/直覺/情感/理解）人格類型，一個從周圍的人中獲得能量的外向者，我在這段時(shí)間里感到驚訝，因?yàn)槲乙策m應(yīng)了獨(dú)處并且不感到孤獨(dú)。我相信這其中的一些原因很簡單.

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Ilana Kearns
I love My alone time!!

我愛我的獨(dú)處時(shí)間。

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Proxy
Is that necessarily a good thing? I think people should be able to be alone and handle being alone, we cant always be around people. But, is it ideal if we all simulate friendship alone even if we all feel okay. Seems like something may be missing there. Something deeply human which is connection with others.

這一定是件好事嗎？我認(rèn)為人們應(yīng)該能夠適應(yīng)獨(dú)處，應(yīng)對孤獨(dú)，我們不能總是和其他人在一起。但是，如果我們都獨(dú)處，使用模擬友誼，即使我們都感覺很好，這是理想的嗎？這好像少了點(diǎn)什么。一種與他人有深厚感情的東西。

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Jill Reid
Great perspective on this aspect of the current situation, as well as human nature in general. Thank you for posting.
Take care - Jill Reid
@JillReid

這是針對當(dāng)前形勢的這個方面以及一般人性的很好的觀點(diǎn)，感謝你的帖子。
保重- Jill Reid

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Jill Ebstein
Excellent piece. I guess I bake and walk my dogs for more reasons than I realized.

很好的文章，我發(fā)現(xiàn)我烘焙和遛狗有了很多我沒意識到的理由。

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AnthonyleeGMC
Most of us will feel less lonely in the day time when busy with work and relationships. But the time that people can easily be lonely is the night time when they staying alone after a hard-working day.
But personally, I think that the mindset will decide if someone feels lonely or not yet.

在忙于工作和人際關(guān)系的一天中，我們大多數(shù)人不會感到那么孤獨(dú)，但是很多人會在辛苦工作一天后晚上一個人呆在家的時(shí)候感到孤獨(dú)。
但是就我個人而言，我認(rèn)為這種心態(tài)可以決定一個人是否感到孤獨(dú)。

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Deborah Barchi
I have really experienced this and not just during the current isolation period. Reading, writing, walking, watching good movies, playing with my cat need only myself to make them work. I enjoy time with friends and family, but equally, if not more so, I enjoy my time alone. In fact, I crave it. Thanks for sharing these insights about being alone vs being lonely.

我真的經(jīng)歷過這一切，不僅僅是在目前的隔離期。閱讀，寫作，散步，看電影，擼貓，只需要我自己就能讓它們發(fā)揮作用。我喜歡和朋友和家人在一起，但同樣，但即使不是更多，我也喜歡獨(dú)處的時(shí)光。事實(shí)上，我渴望它。感謝分享這些獨(dú)處與孤獨(dú)的見解。

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Sealskin
Some people, it turns out, really are less susceptible to loneliness while alone.
I’m one. I literally have not been feeling the dying need of some people to get out. I was made for quarantine life!

事實(shí)證明，有些人在獨(dú)處時(shí)確實(shí)不太容易感到孤獨(dú)。
我也是其中一個。我真的沒有感覺到迫切需要和一些人相處或者出門。我是為隔離生活而生的！

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Khemra
I guesss. I don''t know about social media filling that void. I say continuing to educate yourself on new work skills or just any productive skill is way better than chasing someone else on social media. Wasn''t there a study that said social media actually makes people more depressed? I don''t ever get lonely bc I always have something to do. I''ve disconnected from all forms of social media.

我猜想，我不了解社交媒體填補(bǔ)了這一空白。我覺得繼續(xù)學(xué)習(xí)新的工作技能或任何生產(chǎn)技能要比在社交媒體上追趕別人更好。難道沒有一項(xiàng)研究說社交媒體實(shí)際上使人們更加沮喪嗎？我永遠(yuǎn)不會孤單，我總是有事要做。我已經(jīng)不用各種形式的社交媒體了。

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Itxy Lopez
I’m the same， I don’t feel lonely, and I think part of is that I work and read a lot. My mind’s always busy, always caught up something, I don’t have the space to feel lonely. That’s not to say I don’t miss my friends and whatnot, but I’m okay.
I’d never considered thinking why. Thanks for teaching me something new today!

我也一樣， 我不會感到孤獨(dú)，我認(rèn)為部分原因是我有工作并且讀很多書，我的大腦總是很忙，總是忙于某些事情，我沒有時(shí)間感到孤獨(dú)。并不是說我不會想念我的朋友，但我很好。
我從未考慮過為什么。 感謝您今天讓我學(xué)到了一些新知識！

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???
Some people, it turns out, really are less susceptible to loneliness while alone.

事實(shí)證明，有些人獨(dú)自一人時(shí)確實(shí)不太容易感到孤獨(dú)。

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Darcy Stewart
This is interesting and unique side of this conversation. Glad I found your piece!

對于這個問題這是一個非常有趣和獨(dú)特的視角，很高興我找到了你的文章。

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Munish Kohli
Truly well written. Will help people who struggle with FOMO. Making an effort to learn new things everyday and having targets small helps in keeping one busy.

寫得是真的好，這會幫助在和錯失恐懼癥抗?fàn)幍娜?。每天努力學(xué)習(xí)新事物，設(shè)定一個小目標(biāo)有助于保持忙碌。

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Josh Kiev
Sometimes we equate going out to huge gatherers as feeling okay and being on top of our game, because we can''t face ourselves in a quiet room. I don''t mind creating a new world from my own home space that limits going out with the masses.

有時(shí)我們把出去參加大型聚會感覺處于游戲的頂端等同于感覺很好，因?yàn)槲覀儫o法在安靜的房間里和自己相處。我不介意在自己家里創(chuàng)建一個新世界，而這個新世界不會限制與外界的交流。

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Dr. Derek Austin?
Watching Friends can make you feel like you, too, are settling into the sofa at Central Perk.
Fascinating! This explains why I felt overwhelmingly lonely and started crying when I finished watching Star Trek: Deep Space Nine recently on Netflix. It was the show I watched the most going through my divorce this past year, and it kept me from feeling so alone.

看老友記會讓你感覺你也坐在Central Perk.咖啡館的沙發(fā)上。
講得太對了！這就解釋了為什么我最近在網(wǎng)飛上看完《星際迷航：深空九號》時(shí)感到極度孤獨(dú)并且開始哭泣。這是我在過去的一年里看的離婚經(jīng)歷最多的一部電視劇，它讓我不再感到孤獨(dú)。

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Jordan Friedman
Jun 20
When our options for filling it with normal socialization are limited, relying on alternative sources can help you make up some of the difference.
That’s absolutely true. They can definitely help make up *some* of the difference. But for some people, that “some” might be a healthy 70–80%, while for others it might be 50

當(dāng)我們用正常社交來填補(bǔ)他的選擇是有限的，那么依靠替代資源可以幫助你彌補(bǔ)一些差距。
那是絕對正確的。他們肯定能幫助彌補(bǔ)一些差距。但對某些人來說，“一些”可能是70-80%比例，而對其他人來說可能是50。

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J Nap
As long as I have my Calculus, Physics books, and computer for programming, I’m never lonely.

自從我有微積分，物理書和編程用的計(jì)算機(jī)，我就從來沒有感覺到孤獨(dú)。

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Delaney Closs
I identify as an extroverted introvert. Meaning I like being around people, but I need alone time to recharge. Such a relatable read! Sometimes i think I like my me time too much

我認(rèn)為我是一個外向的人，意思是我喜歡和人進(jìn)行社交，但同時(shí)我也需要獨(dú)處時(shí)間來充電，寫得太好了，有時(shí)候我覺得我太喜歡我自己的時(shí)間了。

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Lior Avni
A person is never really alone. Even when you are isolated, your parents DNA is in you. Also, the voices of spirits and ancestral guardians can talk to you. Just because this is not provable by Western Science doesn’t mean it isnt true. Some people feel most happy with company, some are hermits. But it is good to avoid extremes and be moderate in staying alone and interacting. Moderation destroys all sorrow.

一個人永遠(yuǎn)不會真正孤單。即使你被隔離了，父母的DNA也在你體內(nèi)。同時(shí)，靈魂和祖先守護(hù)者的聲音可以和你交談。西方科學(xué)無法證明這一點(diǎn)并不意味著它是不真實(shí)的。有些人和人相處很幸福，有些人則偏向一個人在一起。但最好避免極端，在獨(dú)處和互動中保持適度。適度能消滅一切悲傷。

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Ryan Breen
Supplements are great in a pinch when necessary such as in times like these. However, feeling lonely and being lonely are two different things. Social/emotional diets are like food diets. I can theoretically fill my cupboards with processed foods and take vitamin supplements but eventually I’m going to break down.

在必要的時(shí)候，例如現(xiàn)在，補(bǔ)充劑非常有用。但是，感到孤獨(dú)和孤獨(dú)是兩回事。 社會情感飲食就像食物飲食是一樣的。從理論上講，我可以在櫥柜中裝滿加工食品并服用維生素補(bǔ)充劑，但最終我會崩潰。

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Katerina Nieboer
Interesting article! I find that the more I feel as though I should feel lonely the more lonely I feel. However, when I concentrate on those activities such as reading or other hobbies loneliness disappears.

有趣的文章，我發(fā)現(xiàn)我越覺得自己是孤獨(dú)的，我就越感到孤獨(dú)，但是，當(dāng)我專心于閱讀或者其他愛好時(shí)，我的孤獨(dú)感就消失了。

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Li Charmaine Anne
I have felt this for years and now feel less like a freak. Thank you!

很多年前我就已經(jīng)有這個感覺了，我現(xiàn)在終于感覺自己不像個怪胎了，謝謝你！