TED演講者：Tina Yong / 約翰·佩吉特

演講標題：The rise of the "trauma essay" in college applications / 大學申請中“創(chuàng)傷作文”的層出不窮

內容概要：As if college applications aren't stressful enough, disadvantaged youth are often encouraged to write about their darkest traumas in their admissions essays, creating a marketable story of resilience that turns "pain into progress," says politics student Tina Yong. She brings this harrowing norm to light, exploring its harms and offering a more equitable process for colleges everywhere.

就好像大學申請還不夠讓人壓力山大一樣，弱勢青年還總是被鼓勵在招生作文中寫出他們最痛苦的創(chuàng)傷，創(chuàng)作為人津津樂道的堅韌故事，化痛苦為成長，政治學學生蒂娜·楊（Tina Yong）如是說道。她揭露了這折磨人的“風俗”，探究了它的危害，為各地的大學提供了一個更公平的流程。

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【1】There's a story of mine that I've told about a million different times, and it goes a little something like this.

有一個故事我已經講了幾萬遍, 故事是這樣的。

【2】When I was 10, my family and I packed up our entire lives into large suitcases and dragged them across the Pacific to a foreign land called Canada.

我 10 歲的時候,我和我的家人 把我們的一切裝入大行李箱, 拖過太平洋,來到了 這個名叫加拿大的異國他鄉(xiāng)。

【3】I was put in a school where I was the only Asian kid in my grade, and I got teased for my broken English, Asian features and funny smelling ethnic lunches.

我被送入了一所學校, 是這個年級中唯一一個亞洲小孩, 我因為我支離破碎的英語、亞洲特色 和聞起來很奇怪的 民族風味餐受到嘲笑。

【4】The racism was a real doozy.

種族歧視真是很奇特。

【5】But don't feel bad.

但不要難過。

【6】Through the magical healing powers of extracurricular activities and pure perseverance, I stand before you today, a new woman: healthy, healed and extremely employable.

通過課外活動的神奇治愈力 和堅持不懈, 我現(xiàn)在作為一名全新 的女性站在各位面前: 我健康、痊愈、完全適宜雇用。

【7】You wouldn't even be able to tell from just looking at me that I was once the weird little immigrant girl who begged her mom to pack PB&J sandwiches so she wouldn't have to eat lunch alone in the bathroom.

光從表面上看,你根本看不出 我曾經是個奇怪的移民小女孩, 求著媽媽做花生醬果醬三明治, 這樣她就可以不用 獨自在衛(wèi)生間里吃午餐了。

【8】This is a story that I've told in academic essays, job interviews and even in the very application that got me into this fine university.

我在學校的作文里、求職面試中, 甚至是把我送入這所優(yōu)秀大學的 那一份申請中都說過這個故事。

【9】It's also a story that, despite all of its truth, I've come to hate.

雖然這個故事說的都是事實, 但它也是我討厭的故事。

【10】Now this is a story that I don't have copyright claim over.

我對這個故事沒有什么獨家版權。

【11】It's one that continues to be regurgitated by immigrant kids all across the country to be served on a silver platter to prestigious universities who chew these stories and spit out acceptance letters in return.

這個故事在全國各地的 移民兒童口中反復敘述, 它成為了頂級學府的敲門磚, 這些學校細細品味這些故事, 再丟出錄取信作為回報。

【12】The contents of the story may change.

故事的情節(jié)可能會有點差異。

【13】Instead of a difficult immigration experience, it might be the death of a loved one, a chronic illness or a racist encounter.

如果不寫艱難的移民經歷, 可能會寫摯愛之人的逝去、 慢性疾病或者遭到種族歧視的經歷。

【14】But what remains constant is the moral: A bad thing happened to me, but it made me a good person.

不變的就是這個道理: 我遭遇了不幸, 但不幸讓我成為了一個好人。

【15】This is part of a larger phenomenon that I'm here to talk about today.

這是我今天要說的 一個更加普遍的現(xiàn)象的其中一部分。

【16】The overwhelming pressure being put on high school students to write about their deepest traumas in their college applications with the hopes that they seem resilient and interesting enough to be given a spot.

高中生在申請大學時需要 描述最深的創(chuàng)傷,身負重壓, 還要抱著他們顯得堅韌不拔、 很有趣、值得被錄取的希望。

【17】I believe that these are not only bad metrics by which to evaluate applicants, but also incredibly harmful to the storyteller themselves and risks reinforcing existing inequities in higher education.

我相信這不僅僅是 評判申請人的不良標準, 還會對故事作者造成巨大的傷害, 有加深高等教育中 既有的不平等現(xiàn)象的風險。

【18】There's also pressure that's being amplified by admissions counselors themselves who play a huge role in influencing what applicants decide to write about.

招生顧問本身也在加重這種壓力, 他們會深深影響 申請人想寫什么內容。

【19】Take, for example, this tip from the MIT admissions blog, where the author compares two different introductions for a potential essay.

比如,麻省理工的招生博客中 有這么一條小提示, 作者對比了一篇作文中可能采用的 兩種不同的開頭方式。

【20】The first one reads: "I'm honored to apply for the Master of Library Science program at the University of Okoboji.

第一種是這樣的: “我有幸能申請奧科博吉大學的 圖書館學碩士項目。

【21】For as long as I can remember, I've had a love affair with books.

從我記事起, 我就對書籍心心念念。

【22】Since I was 11, I've wanted to be a librarian."

我從 11 歲起, 就一直想成為一名圖書管理員。”

【23】The second introduction reads: "When I was 11, my great aunt Gretchen passed away and left me something that changed my life: a library of about 5000 books.

第二種開頭是這樣的: “在我 11 歲的時候, 我的姑姑格雷琴去世了, 她為我留下了改變我一生的東西: 包含約五千冊書的圖書館。

【24】Some of my best days were spent arranging and reading her books.

我最開心的日子就是 整理、閱讀她的書。

【25】Since then, I've wanted to become a librarian."

從那時起,我就一直 想成為一名圖書管理員。”

【26】The author notes that the second introduction is much more striking and leaves a much better impression.

作者說,第二段開頭 更直擊心靈, 可以給讀者留下更好的印象。

【27】where he advises students to "get personal."

作者建議學生“說點私事”。

【28】He says, "Weirdly, including painful memories and what you learned from them usually helps a personal statement meet the goals of a college application essay.

他說:“奇怪的是 如果你寫了一些痛苦的回憶, 還有你從中得到的收獲, 通常就能讓你的個人陳述 達到大學申請作文的目標。

【29】You come off as humble, accessible, likable and mature."

經歷了這些,你謙遜、 平易近人、討人喜歡、成熟?！?/p>

【30】Confessions from admissions officers themselves can also be telling.

招生官的坦言也說明了問題。

【31】Aya Waller-Bey, a former admissions officer from Georgetown University, said in a "Forbes" article that, "Within months on the job, I saw how the personal statements of Black and other racially minoritized students differed from those of white applicants.

阿雅.沃勒-貝（Aya Waller-Bey）, 曾擔任喬治城大學的招生官, 在《福布斯》雜志的一篇文章中寫道: “我在這個崗位上工作了幾個月, 我看到了黑人學生和 其他種族少數(shù)的學生的個人陳述 和白人學生的文章有多大區(qū)別。

【32】Black students highlighted resilience through stories of survival, while their counterparts wrote casual essays about service abroad and sporting championships.

黑人學生通過他們的生存故事 彰顯他們的堅韌不拔, 白人學生就會隨便寫一些出國服役 或頂尖的體育成績。

【33】Black students shared their pain, white students shared their passions."

黑人學生傳達他們的痛苦, 而白人學生傳達他們的激情。”

【34】Now, lastly, and perhaps the least reliable source is my own life.

最后一個,也有可能是最不靠譜的 依據,就是我自己的人生。

【35】I remember feeling this way when I was applying to universities.

我記得我申請大學時的這種感覺。

【36】Like I had no other choice, no other experiences worthy of mentioning and no other merit beyond the fact that I had thrived despite what I had gone through.

就像我沒有別的選擇, 沒有其他值得一提的經歷, 除了“我雖然經歷了這些 但我挺過來了”以外 沒有任何優(yōu)點。

【37】I even remember worrying that my tale wouldn't be harrowing enough after hearing from a counselor that writing about immigration has become a bit of a cliche because of how overused it is.

我甚至擔心我的故事還不夠慘, 因為一位顧問告訴我 移民的故事有點太老套了, 這種故事說得太多了。

【38】So what's the universities' role in all of this and why are these stories even harmful to begin with?

那大學在其中扮演著什么角色呢？ 到底為什么這些故事很傷人呢？

【39】Well, I believe that using your college application essay to discuss your trauma actually doesn't help you process it.

我認為通過你的大學申請作文 講述你的創(chuàng)傷 其實并不會幫你排解它。

【40】And there are a couple different reasons why.

這有幾個原因。

【41】First, writing about a difficult experience is, as you may have guessed, difficult.

第一,寫下你的痛苦經歷, 你也能猜到,是痛苦的。

【42】Not only do you have to relive the event itself, but you also have to actively suppress any negative emotions that arise during the process.

你不僅需要重現(xiàn)這個情景, 還得主動壓抑在此過程中 產生的負面情緒。

【43】That kind of emotional labor can be taxing for anybody, but perhaps especially so for these young applicants who haven't had enough time on this world to process the terrible things that have happened to them.

這種情緒勞動對每個人都是繁重的, 尤其是對于年輕的申請人來說, 他們在這個世上 還沒有足夠的經驗 處理眼前的糟心事。

【44】For that space to be one in which they're confessing to a faceless stranger who gets to make the most consequential decision of their adolescent life imposes an incredibly heavy psychological burden.

他們得對未曾謀面的 陌生人袒露心聲, 這個陌生人還會 為他們的青少年人生 做出最重要的決定, 這就為他們帶來了巨大的心理負擔。

【45】I mean, imagine if you walked into your therapy appointment and your therapist tells you that they're not going to respond to anything you tell them except with a rejection or acceptance email sent months later.

想象一下你去接受治療, 治療師告訴你 不管你說什么, 他/她都不會有任何反應, 只會在幾個月后給你發(fā)一封 拒信或者錄取郵件。

【46】And also that whatever you tell them will determine the trajectory of your entire academic and professional career.

你告訴他們的內容 會決定你未來所有學業(yè)和 職業(yè)發(fā)展的軌跡。

【47】Hard to imagine that being therapeutic.

這哪能算是治療啊。

【48】Secondly, the trauma essay makes one assumption that is extremely problematic.

第二,創(chuàng)傷作文有一個 很有問題的預設。

【49】It's not always the learning opportunity through which you can gain more confidence or develop better time management skills.

它不可能永遠是個學習的機會, 讓你借此取得更多的自信或者 培養(yǎng)更好的時間管理能力。

【50】Sometimes it's just a sucky thing that really sucks.

有些爛事就是爛事。

【51】And asking students to prove how they turn their pain into progress ignores this truth and falls prey to the toxic positivity narrative that everything happens for a reason, ignoring the very valid resentment and anger that many victims still feel.

讓學生證明他們是如何 化痛苦為成長 無視了這個事實, 也陷入了這種有毒的正能量故事, 即萬物皆有因, 無視了很多受害者仍不能釋懷的 非常正當?shù)脑购藓蛻嵟?/p>

【52】Lastly, the things we write aren't just informed by our experiences, they shape how we view those experiences as well.

最后一點,我們寫下的內容 不僅僅來源于我們的經歷, 還會影響我們對這些經歷的看法。

【53】And if we're writing about our trauma to prove to an admissions officer that we are worthy of a decent education, then it becomes necessary to sanitize our pain, to make it marketable and strategic, to scrub away all the suffering, so all that's left is what will fit into the narrow margins of what is palatable.

如果我們寫下自己的創(chuàng)傷, 是為了向招生官證明 我們值得接受優(yōu)質教育, 那就有必要凈化痛苦、 讓它很有市場、很有技巧、 抹消所有的磨難, 這樣剩下的就是符合 “喜聞樂見”這一有限范圍內的內容。

【54】And this is what I see as being the fundamental contradiction at the heart of the trauma essay.

這就是我認為創(chuàng)傷作文 最核心的矛盾之處。

【55】It seems to give the writer free reign on vulnerability, but actually leaves them very little room to be vulnerable.

看似是讓作者自由支配自己的脆弱, 實則只為他們的脆弱 留下了一隅之地。

【56】Your story has to be just sad enough that it gains sympathy, but not so sad that it makes you seem beyond help.

你的故事得正好悲慘到 足以引發(fā)同情, 但不能悲慘到顯得你無可救藥。

【57】Just critical enough to inspire change, but not so much that it actually criticizes systemic structures.

你的批判性想法 得正好足以促成改變, 但不能過火到批判系統(tǒng)結構。

【58】Just honest enough to seem real, but not so unfiltered that it creates discomfort.

誠實到顯得很真實, 但不能放飛到造成不適。

【59】The protagonist also overcomes whatever struggle they're facing by the end of the 500 word count, instilling the reader with a sense of optimism that despite our deeply unequal society, it is possible to rise through the ranks and overcome all the "-isms."

故事的主角得在 500 字結束之前 克服他們眼前的困難, 向讀者傳遞樂觀的情緒, 認為就算我們的社會嚴重不平等, 依舊有可能提高地位, 克服各種“主義”。

【60】This, of course, is not the reality of our world today.

這當然不是當今世界中的現(xiàn)實情況。

【61】And for me, this looked like settling for the familiar story of the stinky lunch, one that's been told so many times that it's devoid of any real meaning, instead of talking

對我來說,這就像是自己咽下 我剛說的惡心午餐的故事, 翻來覆去都說爛了, 還沒有任何真正的意義, 卻沒有人去討論

【62】about the ongoing social and political disenfranchisement of immigrants, the permanent loss of cultural identity that I suffered, or the sense of disbelonging that still haunts me every time I make a grammar mistake or someone mispronounces my name.

當下剝奪移民的 社會、政治權利問題, 我永遠痛失文化身份的問題, 或是缺乏歸屬感問題, 每當我犯了個語法錯誤,或者有人 讀錯我的名字時就會涌上我的心頭。

【63】These are all struggles that never really go away, but are carefully tucked away in my essay because they don't fit the linear narrative that is being constructed.

這些都是無法排遣的痛苦, 但在作文中,我都得 小心翼翼地把它們藏起來, 因為它們無法融入 精心打造的流暢故事線里。

【64】But how are universities to blame for all of this?

大學應該為此負什么責任呢？

【65】I mean, they never explicitly asked students to trauma-dump in their essays, and many admissions experts have actually come out and discouraged discussing explicit trauma in essays.

它們從來沒有明確要求學生 在作文里大倒苦水, 有很多招生專家其實站出來 勸阻學生在作文里談及明確的創(chuàng)傷。

【66】However, I still don't think that universities are blameless.

但我不認為大學是無辜的。

【67】The reason why the trauma essay is so ubiquitous is because it seems to be working.

創(chuàng)傷作文之所以大行其道 是因為它似乎很有效。

【68】Anne Trubek, who helped low-income high school students at Oberlin College write their essays, expresses the ethical dilemma that she faces.

安妮.特魯貝克（Anne Trubek） 幫助歐柏林學院的低收入高中生 撰寫作文, 她說出了她面臨的道德困境。

【69】'"By pushing students to reveal their horror stories, I risk taking away their dignity, but by not pushing, I could be hindering their chances of getting into their dream school."

“要是我鼓勵學生 展示他們可怕的故事, 我就冒著奪走他們尊嚴的風險, 但如果我沒有鼓勵他們這么做,我就在阻礙他們 被夢校錄取的機會?！?/p>

【70】Whether trauma essays and acceptance letters are actually causally correlated is impossible to tell from the outside.

創(chuàng)傷作文和錄取信 有沒有嚴密的因果關系, 從外部來看是無法斷言的。

【71】So this could all just be speculation and myth.

所以我們只能通過推斷或者流言判斷。

【72】But in failing to resolutely clear up these speculations and myths about whether trauma essays are rewarded or discouraged, universities are indirectly enabling the rise of the trauma essay and all of its harmful implications.

但是,大學并沒有 堅決清除這些推測和流言, 討論它們到底鼓勵還是 不鼓勵寫創(chuàng)傷作文, 所以它們間接導致了創(chuàng)傷作文 和后續(xù)傷害的層出不窮。

【73】So what are they to do about all of this?

那它們該做些什么呢？

【74】Well, first of all, I think that this is a problem that goes much deeper than individual universities, and even perhaps the institution of higher education itself.

首先,我認為這不僅僅是 某個大學的問題, 甚至不是高等教育體系本身的問題。

【75】It's rooted in the cultural obsession with appropriating trauma and making it consumable, as well as the systemic tendency to tokenize oppressed people and their experiences.

它歸根結底來源于挪用創(chuàng)傷、 讓它為人津津樂道的文化執(zhí)念, 還有一個系統(tǒng)上的習慣, 總是想標簽化這些受壓迫 的人和他們的經歷。

【76】But there are still things that universities can do to make things better.

但為了改善這個局面, 還是有大學能做的事的。

【77】First, they can be more transparent about their admissions guidelines.

首先,它們可以讓招生標準 更加公開透明。

【78】If it's really true that they don't want to reward trauma storytelling just for the sake of it, then they should be more forthcoming about this expectation.

如果它們確實不想 獎勵無謂的創(chuàng)傷故事, 那就應該更直接地表明這個要求。

【79】They could also restructure their prompts to avoid putting pressure on students to talk about past hardships and adversities and instead refocus prompts to ask students about their goals for the future and their academic interests.

它們也可以重新組織一下題目, 避免給學生施加壓力, 談論過往的艱難和困境, 而是將題目聚焦在 要求學生談一談對未來的目標 和學術興趣。

【80】Secondly, admissions counselors should be trauma-informed and trained in working with BIPOC folk.

第二,招生顧問在與黑人、原住民 和有色人種（BIPOC）交流時, 應更了解他們的創(chuàng)傷, 更加訓練有素。

【81】As the unofficial gatekeepers to the secrets of getting into your dream college, they should wield their power responsibly and not pressure students to talk about traumatic experiences that they're not yet ready to talk about.

作為保守踏入夢校秘密的 非官方守門人, 他們應該負責任地發(fā)揮他們的力量, 不要逼迫學生說出 他們還沒準備好談論的創(chuàng)傷經歷。

【82】Lastly -- and this one's for anyone who's actually applying to a postsecondary institution sometime soon - remember that you are more than the bad things that happened to you.

最后,也送給每一位在不久的將來 要申請高中后教育機會的申請人, 記住,你身上發(fā)生的壞事 不是你的一切。

【83】I know that when it seems like every other classmate of yours is writing an essay that could be adapted for an HBO original drama, that you may feel like your experiences are not worth talking about.

我知道,你的每個同學 都在寫那種可以改編成 HBO 原創(chuàng)電視劇的作文, 你可能會覺得你的經歷 根本不值一提。

【84】But I promise that they are.

但我可以向你保證, 它們值得一提。

【85】You just have to find your voice and use it.

你只需要找到 你的發(fā)言權,去使用它。

【86】Now as much as I don't want to live that nail-bitingly stressful time of my life ever again, I can't help but wonder: what would I have written about if I got the chance to apply to UBC again?

雖然我不想再經歷 那段神經緊繃的時光, 但我不禁想: 如果我可以再申請一次 UBC （不列顛哥倫比亞大學）, 我會寫些什么呢？

【87】This time absent the pressure to strategically use my immigrant background to gain sympathy points.

這次,不再有 巧妙利用我的移民背景 博取同情分的壓力。

【88】Maybe I would have written about how I overcame my fear of public speaking and became comfortable with being the loudest voice in the room.

也許我可以寫一寫 我如何克服公開發(fā)言的恐懼, 適應成為在場最愿意發(fā)表意見的人。

【89】Or I could have written about watching trashy reality television is what first sparked my interest in political science.

我也可以寫一寫 看很爛的真人秀 是激起我對政治學的興趣的 第一個火種。

【90】Or maybe I still would have written about my immigrant story because that was a big part of my life journey and still impacts me to this day.

也許我還是可以寫一寫我的移民故事, 但只是因為它是 我人生旅途中的一大篇章, 時至今日依然在影響著我。

【91】But I would have done it on my own terms.

但我會用我自己的方式 寫下這個故事。

【92】Instead of being written as a one-dimensional, trauma-turned-triumph trauma drama, I would have been able to tell a story that actually reflects who I am today

我不會把它寫成單一維度的、 “克服創(chuàng)傷,取得勝利”的創(chuàng)傷大戲, 而是讓它講述現(xiàn)在的我是誰,

【93】and acknowledge the fact that my journey is ongoing and it doesn't begin or end with my racial identity.

證明我的旅程還在進行中, 它不會因我的種族身份 開始或結束。

【94】This is the kind of ownership that I wish for everyone to one day have over their story.

這就是我希望每個人都能擁有的 對他們自己故事的主導權。

【95】And now it's up for universities to decide whether they get to tell it.

現(xiàn)在就取決于大學給不給他們機會 說出這個故事了。

【96】Thank you.

謝謝。