The Secret to Negotiating Is Reading People’s Faces

by?Kasia Wezowski

Although most of us like to think of ourselves as rational decision makers, ample research shows that?emotions?play an outsized role?in negotiations. If you can’t read what your counterpart is feeling and instead focus only on what he or she is saying, you're highly unlikely to achieve everything you could have.

我們大多數(shù)人都以為，自己是理性的決策者，但研究證據(jù)卻充分表明，情緒在談判中所起到的作用大大超乎人們所想。倘若你把全副精力都放在對(duì)方說(shuō)的話上，而沒(méi)有留意對(duì)方的感受，你很可能會(huì)竹籃打水一場(chǎng)空。

Of course, experienced negotiators know how to mask their true feelings. They choose their words, tone, body language, and expressions carefully. To the average observer, they often appear neutral, impassive. Or they’re able to convincingly fake an emotion if they think it will help them advance their own interests.

當(dāng)然，經(jīng)驗(yàn)豐富的談判者懂得如何掩蓋其真實(shí)感受。他們小心挑選措辭、語(yǔ)氣、肢體語(yǔ)言和表達(dá)方式。在旁觀者看來(lái)，這類談判者通常喜怒不形于色。或者說(shuō)，他們很會(huì)偽裝自己的情緒，只要覺(jué)得這么做有利可圖。

However, there is a way to read what your counterpart is feeling even if they are deliberately trying to hide it from you.?The secret is to pay attention to the spontaneous and involuntary microexpressions that rapidly flit across everyone’s faces at times of intense emotion. If you know what to look for, they can provide an instant, honest window into how your counterpart is feeling.

不過(guò)，就算對(duì)方蓄意隱藏，你也有辦法讀懂其感受。秘訣就在于，要特別關(guān)注對(duì)方無(wú)意間流露的微表情——人們情緒激烈時(shí)，臉上常會(huì)有這類表情一閃而過(guò)。如果你留心察看，它們就提供了一扇窗口，能讓你當(dāng)下誠(chéng)實(shí)地看清談判對(duì)手的感受。

Here are some examples of common microexpressions (as depicted by Patryk Wezowski — my husband and business partner — and me):

以下是一些常見(jiàn)微表情的例子（由我和我的丈夫兼商業(yè)伙伴帕特里克·維澤維斯基呈現(xiàn)）

Photos courtesy of the Center For Body Language.

As you can see, it's quite easy to recognize the meaning behind the expression on a still photo. In a real-life situation, however, when the stakes are high and the microexpression?lasts for as little as one 25th of a second, it's a different game entirely.

要識(shí)別一張靜態(tài)圖片上的表情含義很容易。但在現(xiàn)實(shí)生活中，當(dāng)事關(guān)利害，微表情又只持續(xù)短短25分之一秒時(shí)，情形就完全不一樣了。

In my work as a body language researcher and instructor, I've long theorized that one of the key differences between exceptional negotiators or salespeople and those who are merely average is the ability to read these microexpressions, gauge visceral reactions to ideas or proposals, then strategically steer them toward a preferred outcome.

長(zhǎng)期以來(lái)，作為一名肢體語(yǔ)言研究者兼教練，我得出的推論是——卓越的談判者、推銷員與平庸的相比，關(guān)鍵區(qū)別之一就在于能否讀懂這些微表情，探測(cè)對(duì)某個(gè)想法或提議的本能反應(yīng)，然后有策略地導(dǎo)向希望的結(jié)果。

To test this idea, we conducted?two experiments?using videos like?this one, which gauge?users'?ability to recognize these expressions.

為了驗(yàn)證這個(gè)觀點(diǎn)，我們用視頻材料做了兩項(xiàng)實(shí)驗(yàn)，那些視頻就像這個(gè)一樣，可以檢測(cè)被試的微表情識(shí)別能力。

In the first study, we compared the video test scores of salespeople from the Karnak Stationery Company with their performance and found that those with above average scores noticeably outsold their colleagues. The second experiment involved salespeople from a BMW showroom in Rome, Italy. We found that high performers (who had sold more than 60 automobiles in the most recent quarter) scored almost twice as high on the test as low performers. Our conclusion: Effective negotiators seem to be naturally good readers of microexpressions.

文具公司Karnak Stationery Company的銷售員參與了第一項(xiàng)研究，我們?cè)趯?duì)比每個(gè)人的視頻測(cè)試得分與工作業(yè)績(jī)后發(fā)現(xiàn)，那些分?jǐn)?shù)較高的人，在公司的銷售業(yè)績(jī)也明顯更出色。我們第二項(xiàng)實(shí)驗(yàn)的參與者則是意大利羅馬的一家寶馬汽車展廳銷售員。我們發(fā)現(xiàn)，業(yè)績(jī)好的銷售（最近一個(gè)季度賣出60多輛車），其測(cè)試得分幾乎是業(yè)績(jī)差的同事的兩倍。我們由此得出：談判高手似乎天生都擅長(zhǎng)解讀微表情。

The good news is this isn’t an ability you either have or you don’t. You can?learn it, and get better at it over time, with practices tests and in real-life negotiations by following some simple rules:

不過(guò)，好在這并非一種可遇不可求的“超能力”。遵循以下幾條簡(jiǎn)單的規(guī)則，你也能學(xué)會(huì)讀懂微表情，還能通過(guò)一段時(shí)間的嘗試和談判實(shí)操后，更得心應(yīng)手地應(yīng)用它。?

Focus on the face.??The next time you ask an important question in a negotiation, focus on your counterpart’s face for at least four seconds, instead of just listening to the words coming out of his or her mouth.

重點(diǎn)觀察對(duì)方的臉色

下次你在談判中提出一個(gè)重要問(wèn)題的時(shí)候，請(qǐng)不要只顧著注意聽(tīng)對(duì)方說(shuō)了什么話，而要把注意力集中在對(duì)方的臉上，至少觀察4秒鐘。

Tell a story.??Negotiators have an easier time controlling their expressions when they’re talking. So don’t ask too many open questions. Instead describe what you want or share an anecdote about another negotiating partner who shared concerns similar to theirs and watch how they respond as they listen. Their guard will lower a little and you’ll be able to see their honest reactions to what you’re saying — knowledge to guide the rest of the conversation.

適時(shí)講故事

在侃侃而談時(shí)，談判者比較容易控制自己的表情。所以不要問(wèn)太多開(kāi)放式問(wèn)題，而要描述你的愿景，或者講點(diǎn)和對(duì)方有類似擔(dān)憂的另一個(gè)談判對(duì)手的軼事，觀察對(duì)方在聽(tīng)你講述時(shí)作何反應(yīng)。這樣做會(huì)讓對(duì)手卸下一些心防，從而可以看出他們對(duì)你所說(shuō)的有什么真實(shí)反應(yīng)，以了解接下來(lái)該怎樣引導(dǎo)談話。

Present multiple options.??As you present a list of choices to negotiating partners, their microexpressions will reveal which they like and which they don’t, sometimes even before they’re consciously aware of their preferences. Watch closely to see what their face tells you about each option.

給對(duì)方提供多種選項(xiàng)

當(dāng)你向談判對(duì)手列出多種備選方案時(shí)，微表情會(huì)暴露他們喜歡哪種，討厭哪種。有時(shí)，甚至連他們自己都還沒(méi)有意識(shí)到之前，就給出了線索。密切觀察對(duì)方的臉色，可使你看出其選好喜惡。

Here’s how it might work in practice:

Imagine you’re a consultant who has proposed a certain fee for your services: “Based on your requirements, we can propose $100,000 as the consultancy fee for this project.” If you see your potential client show the microexpression of disgust, you can calibrate accordingly and lower your price without skipping a beat: “But because we anticipate a longer term collaboration and are excited about the direction your business is heading in, we can offer you 25% discount.”

接下來(lái)就讓我們看看，如何把它應(yīng)用在實(shí)踐中：

假設(shè)你是一名咨詢顧問(wèn)，你剛給出自己的服務(wù)報(bào)價(jià)：“基于貴方的需求，我們對(duì)這個(gè)項(xiàng)目要收取10萬(wàn)美元的咨詢費(fèi)?！比绻憧闯鰸撛诳蛻麸@露不快的微表情，就可以緊跟著做出相應(yīng)的調(diào)整，降低報(bào)價(jià)：“但是，由于我們期待與您長(zhǎng)期合作，看好貴方業(yè)務(wù)未來(lái)的發(fā)展方向，我們可以給您打個(gè)七五折?！?/p>

What if?you instead recognized an?expression of happiness or contempt after the initial offer? Maybe your counterpart expected a higher price, or doubts that you’re offering the premium level of service. You could quickly adjust your price in the opposite direction: “That’s the basic fee which covers X and Y. For your project I also recommend our entire suite of services including A, B and C, which means the total price would be closer to $150,000.”

但是，你提出最初報(bào)價(jià)后發(fā)現(xiàn)，對(duì)方露出了開(kāi)心的或是輕視的表情，那該怎么辦？也許對(duì)方原本預(yù)期的是一個(gè)更高的報(bào)價(jià)，或者在懷疑你無(wú)法提供頂級(jí)服務(wù)。你可以迅速給價(jià)格來(lái)個(gè)逆向調(diào)整：“這只是包括了X與Y的基本收費(fèi)。對(duì)于您的項(xiàng)目，我還建議選擇包括A、B和C的全套服務(wù)，也就是說(shuō)全包價(jià)，那要接近15萬(wàn)美元?！?/p>

Attention to microexpressions allows you to secretly respond to the feedback your negotiating partners?don’t even realize they’re giving, ensuring that you stay in control of the dialogue and achieve better outcomes.

悉心留意微表情，可以使你在與談判對(duì)手的交鋒中先人一步，不動(dòng)聲色地掌控對(duì)話，取得更有利的談判成果。

卡莎·維澤維斯基是肢體語(yǔ)言培訓(xùn)機(jī)構(gòu)the Centerfor Body Language的創(chuàng)始人，著有四本相關(guān)書籍，同時(shí)也是反映執(zhí)教經(jīng)歷的紀(jì)錄片《Leap》的制片人兼導(dǎo)演。

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