朋友之間產(chǎn)生大大小小的摩擦是在所難免的事情。遇到問題或矛盾，最好的方式是及時溝通，防止問題進(jìn)一步惡化，但這類談話并非易事。怎樣才能有效地與朋友溝通，以化解矛盾？本文介紹幾個在困難對話中能用上的談話技巧。

詞匯：problems with people 人際關(guān)系問題

Sometimes our friends'?

behaviour

?can?

offend

?us; sometimes we can see changes they need to make – but how do we tell them? Are there any ways to make difficult conversations easier? 有時朋友的行為會冒犯我們;有時我們可以看到他們需要做出的改變——但我們?nèi)绾胃嬖V他們?有沒有什么方法可以讓困難的對話變得更容易? It's important to have solid evidence that there is indeed a?

problem

. Evidence that can be agreed upon makes it easier for other people to recognise?

issues

. Once you have proof, it's important to highlight how it?

impacts

?us and others. Psychologist Andrea Bonior suggests?

framing

?problems with 'I'. Saying 'I feel hurt that you spend less time with me' is less?

accusatory

?than 'You never spend time with me!' and is focused more clearly on the impact. 重要的是要有確鑿的證據(jù)證明確實(shí)存在問題?？梢赃_(dá)成一致的證據(jù)使其他人更容易認(rèn)識到問題。一旦你有了證據(jù)，重要的是要強(qiáng)調(diào)它如何影響我們和其他人。心理學(xué)家安德里亞·博尼奧爾建議用“我”來定義問題。說“你和我在一起的時間少了，我感到很受傷”比說“你從來沒有和我在一起”更少是一種指責(zé)。，并更清楚地關(guān)注其影響。 Staying?

calm

?is vital. Becoming tense might lead you to?

react

?badly and cause an?

argument

. Bonior recommends that you should acknowledge the conversation could make you?

anxious

. If you think about this yourself, it can help you focus on positive results. If you admit your?

anxiety

?to your friend, you will show a more human side. Another psychologist, Laura Brennan, points out how it's important that we let go of our?

ego

?and don't focus on the need to be proved right. This can help reduce tension.? 保持冷靜至關(guān)重要。變得緊張可能會導(dǎo)致你做出糟糕的反應(yīng)，引發(fā)爭吵。Bonior建議你應(yīng)該承認(rèn)談話可能會讓你焦慮。如果你自己思考這個問題，它可以幫助你專注于積極的結(jié)果。如果你向你的朋友承認(rèn)你的焦慮，你會表現(xiàn)出更人性化的一面。另一位心理學(xué)家勞拉·布倫南(Laura Brennan)指出，放下自我，不要把注意力集中在證明自己是對的這件事上，這是多么重要。這有助于緩解緊張。 We can lower the potential for?

conflict

?by listening to the other person and asking questions. Many experts recommend planning your words, so that you can say things in a way that avoids conflict. However, Bonior cautions against?

overplanning

?as this can stop you being flexible enough to genuinely follow and participate in the?

discussion

.? 我們可以通過傾聽他人并提出問題來降低發(fā)生沖突的可能性。許多專家建議規(guī)劃你的措辭，這樣你就可以用一種避免沖突的方式說話。然而，Bonior警告不要計劃過度，因?yàn)檫@可能會阻止你足夠靈活地真正跟隨和參與討論。 Be realistic. Complicated problems are unlikely to be solved with one conversation. Consider what is possible in one discussion, and that it may be harder than you initially thought. This will help you to set realistic goals for what you can achieve. 是現(xiàn)實(shí)的。復(fù)雜的問題不可能一次談話就能解決?？紤]一下在一次討論中什么是可能的，它可能比你最初想象的要困難。這將幫助你為你能達(dá)到的目標(biāo)設(shè)定現(xiàn)實(shí)的目標(biāo)。 詞匯表 behaviour 行為 offend 得罪，惹惱 problem （須解決的）問題 issue 問題 impact 對…產(chǎn)生影響 frame 表達(dá)，說出 accusatory 指責(zé)的，譴責(zé)的 calm 沉著冷靜的 react 對…作出反應(yīng) argument 爭吵，爭論 anxious 焦慮的，不安的 anxiety 焦慮，不安 ego 自我 conflict 沖突，爭執(zhí) overplanning 計劃過度 discussion 討論，交談 測驗(yàn)與練習(xí)

1.?閱讀課文并回答問題。

1. What makes it easier for both sides to identify a problem?? 2. How can you make something sound less accusatory? 3. Why should you stay calm? 4. What is the benefit of admitting your anxiety to your friend? 5. Why shouldn't you overplan what you want to say?

2. 選擇意思恰當(dāng)?shù)膯卧~或詞組來完成下列句子。

1. Sometimes you have to challenge your friends' _______. discussion????????impact????????conflict??????behaviour 2. Your _______ can mean you need to be proved right. discussion???????ego???????????calm???????offend 3. It can be good to admit your _______. anxiety??????????conflict?????????argument???ego 4. A bad relationship with a friend can have a huge _______. issue???????????problem????????argument????impact 5. Find a positive way to _______ problems. react???????????offend??????????frame???????behave

答案

1.閱讀課文并回答問題。

1. What makes it easier for both sides to identify a problem?

Having solid evidence makes it easier to identify problems.?

2. How can you make something sound less accusatory?

By expressing your concerns using 'I' to show the impact on you.

3. Why should you stay calm?

You should stay calm to avoid an argument.

4. What is the benefit of admitting your anxiety to your friend?

It helps you show a human side.

5. Why shouldn't you overplan what you want to say?

Because you might not be flexible enough to follow the discussion.?

2.選擇意思恰當(dāng)?shù)膯卧~或詞組來完成下列句子。

1. Sometimes you have to challenge your friends'?

behaviour

. 2. Your?

ego

?can mean you need to be proved right. 3. It can be good to admit your?

anxiety

. 4. A bad relationship with a friend can have a huge?

impact

. 5. Find a positive way to

?frame?

problems. 文章來源BBC侵權(quán)刪