顯而易見5分級(jí)別和7分級(jí)別的小作文不會(huì)只有一個(gè)不同點(diǎn)，不過在所有區(qū)別中沒有什么比我今天要解釋的這個(gè)更重要。

我之前已經(jīng)在公眾號(hào)的【小作文檢查清單】中涉及到這點(diǎn)，不過我今天想更加全面地向你們說明。

很多考生在作文里會(huì)直接用題目數(shù)據(jù)表或圖表里所提供的詞語，而且錯(cuò)誤地表達(dá)那些詞語所代表的意思。

接下來我將展示三個(gè)例子，并告訴大家該如何避免這樣的錯(cuò)誤。

（本文最好的使用效果是邊讀邊嘗試自己寫我里面舉的例子。所以你不妨先收藏或者點(diǎn)個(gè)在看，再回過頭來認(rèn)真試一下。）

第一個(gè)例子就是我在小作文檢查清單所提供的：

在描述比較意大利和德國那兩個(gè)國家吸煙率的數(shù)據(jù)表時(shí)，很多人會(huì)寫類似：“Italy increased in 2009”（意大利在2009年增加)或“Germany decreased in 2010”（德國在2010年減少)。

那樣寫不對(duì)，不是那兩個(gè)國家在增加或減少，而是那兩個(gè)國家吸煙的人數(shù)！

學(xué)生應(yīng)該寫的是類似：“The number of people who smoked in Italy increased in 2009（2009年意大利的吸煙人數(shù)有所增加)”和“The number of smokers in Germany decreased in 2010(2010年德國的吸煙人數(shù)有所下降)”

下面第二個(gè)例子的難度稍微高一點(diǎn)：

如我所說，在描述這樣的折線圖和其他類似的要描述數(shù)據(jù)的雅思小作文時(shí)，考生得把題目里所提供的詞語換成正常的英語。

題目的數(shù)據(jù)表里所包含的英語單詞通常都是不應(yīng)該直接在作文里用到的簡稱。

就像在中文雖然大家可以用“北上廣”代表北京、上海、廣州三個(gè)城市，但沒有人會(huì)說：“我昨天從廣飛到上”一樣，我們通常不應(yīng)該在寫英語時(shí)用到這些簡稱。

看一下，大概5分級(jí)別的學(xué)生會(huì)寫類似這樣的錯(cuò)誤句子：

Farming, fishing and foresting was the biggest USA labour force employment in 1930.

Technical increased a lot in USA after 1990.

Sales and office had a steady increase.

在以上那三句話，題目里的英語都沒有被變成正常，語法正確的英語。

我們先分析一下標(biāo)題：USA Labour Force Employment。

注意，那個(gè)USA會(huì)導(dǎo)致很多考生犯錯(cuò)誤。

因?yàn)檫@就是一個(gè)標(biāo)題，美國就可以那樣寫。

問題是：在作文里USA前面需要一個(gè)“the”。

絕大部分級(jí)別低的學(xué)生不會(huì)加那個(gè)“the”。

英國-the UK；

菲律賓- the Philippines；

馬爾代夫- the Maldives；

中東- the Middle East；

太平洋一類的海洋- the Pacific Ocean；

紅海一類的大海 - the Red Sea等地方都需要一個(gè)“the”。

在題目標(biāo)題里通常會(huì)省略它們的“the”，而級(jí)別高的學(xué)生會(huì)記得在寫作時(shí)用到它。

在上面這個(gè)題目，正確表達(dá)Labour Force Employment的方式包括：

the percentage of people employed in / the percentage of people working in / the number of people employed in / the number of Americans working in。

描述那5個(gè)類別的行業(yè)則更復(fù)雜一些。

Farming, fishing and foresting 那三個(gè)詞都可以做名詞，也可以做動(dòng)詞或形容詞。

因此正確用來表達(dá)從事這類工作的人的表述包括:

people engaged in farming, fishing and forestry / those working in the farming, fishing and forestry industries / people who did farming, fishing or forestry for a living / farmers, fishermen and foresters

Sales and office 這兩個(gè)詞通常是名詞。

不過在這里，因?yàn)槭侵缸鲞@些工作的人，它們可以作為形容詞。

因此正確地在作文里描述這個(gè)類別的說法包括：

people who worked in sales and office jobs / office and sales workers / people engaged in office work or sales

Industrial & Technical很明顯都是形容詞。

它們在這個(gè)題目里的意思是: industrial jobs / industrial work & technical jobs /technical work。

在作文里它們應(yīng)該這樣被使用：

people who did industrial/technical jobs / people engaged in industrial/technical work / workers in industrial/technical fields / industrial/technical workers

Other services就是名詞，因此可以這樣寫：

people who worked in ‘other services’ / those who worked in jobs in the category of ‘other services’ / workers engaged in ‘other services’

如果5分和9分級(jí)別的學(xué)生同時(shí)回答這個(gè)課題，通常寫出來的區(qū)別就會(huì)像下面這樣：

5分：Farming, fishing and foresting was the biggest USA labour force employment in 1930.

9分：?In 1930 more people in the USA worked in farming, fishing and forestry than in any of the other given categories of jobs.

5分：Technical increased a lot in USA after 1990.

9分：The percentage of workers who did technical jobs increased a lot after 1990.

5分：Sales and office had a steady increase.

9分：The percentage of people who worked in sales and office jobs had a steady increase.

看一下我們的第三個(gè)例子的話題，考慮一下你會(huì)怎么用英語描述這些百分比。

先看這三個(gè)大概5分水平的學(xué)生會(huì)寫的句子，然后你可以自己嘗試寫寫更合適的。

At 21:00 TV reached a peak in UK.

Radio started to decrease after 8.00.

Between 13:00 and 24:00 TV was higher than radio.

如果你這三句已經(jīng)寫好的話，那可以接下去看一下9分級(jí)別的。

考慮一下跟你自己寫的有沒有大的區(qū)別。

5分：At 21:00 TV reached a peak in UK.

9分：The percentage of people watching tv was at its highest at 9pm in the UK. / The number of people watching tv in the UK was at its highest point of the day at 9pm. / TV viewership reached a peak in the UK at 9pm.（你記得UK前面的那個(gè)the嗎？)

5分：Radio started to decrease after 8.00.

9分：The percentage of people who were listening to the radio started to decrease after 8am. / The number of radio listeners began to go down after 8am. / After 8am the number of radio listeners started to drop.

5分：Between 13:00 and 24:00 TV was higher than radio.-

9分：Between 1pm and 12 midnight more people watched tv than listened to the radio. / There was a higher number of people watching tv than listening to the radio from 1pm to the end of the day. / TV viewers outnumbered radio listeners between 1pm and 12 midnight.

一個(gè)能保證你正確表達(dá)圖表簡稱意思的最好方式是：

在你開始寫答案前，先在考卷上把所有你會(huì)需要用的詞語“翻譯”成合適的、語法正確的英語。

比如，面對(duì)這個(gè)柱形圖的學(xué)生可以這么做：

Train:?the number of people who took the train to and from work / those who got to and from work by train

Car:?those who drove to and from work / the percentage of people who commuted by car

Tube:?the percentage of people who commuted by subway / those who took the tube

Bus:?bus commuters / the number of workers who commuted by bus

然后在寫答案時(shí)只要記得別直接用柱形圖上的詞，而用你剛剛已經(jīng)準(zhǔn)備好的那些表述就好了。

寫作5分級(jí)別的學(xué)生還有很多需要改進(jìn)的地方。

但在小作文，沒有什么比學(xué)會(huì)正確地表達(dá)圖表中詞語的基本含義能帶來更顯著的進(jìn)步了。