搬運(yùn)自：微信公眾號(hào)【評(píng)論搬一堆】（在原文基礎(chǔ)上添加了英語原文與排版調(diào)整）

翻譯：Ryan-Chopin

審譯：Emma.Z

排版：Ryan-Chopin

Was any other pop star’s decade in the spotlight as chaotic as?Justin Bieber’s? Mop-bucket piss and police charges aside, he’s certainly the only heartthrob that the Obama administration?formally dunked on?when a White House petition to revoke his green card garnered over 273,000 signatures in 2014. Through all the turmoil, Bieber’s music became a more gainful way to shed his tween image: Adopting the Y2K handbook of cribbing elements from rap and R&B hits, he cooked up his own wildly successful whitebread version, with his share of?peaks?and?flops?throughout.

Please toss “Yummy,” Bieber’s first single since 2015’s?Purpose, in with the flops. In the?trailer?for a docuseries about his upcoming fifth album, Bieber and his crew speak in platitudes that suggest he’s in a healthier, more creatively fulfilling place now that he’s “found his wife,” model Hailey Baldwin. If that’s so, “Yummy” makes a compelling case for staying single: Shamelessly engineered for the?truncated attention span?of TikTok (he?joined?the service just for the occasion), it’s a bloodless shell of an R&B song crippled by asinine lyrics and a tired, syncopated backdrop. The song plateaus as soon as it starts, never inching past the toddler-like repetition of “yummy-yum” in its chorus. The problem isn’t even that a 25-year-old is employing baby talk as a squicky come-on—that’s been?done?better. “Yummy” is a dead-on-arrival return that even Bieber sounds bored with.

有沒有其他流行歌手在聚光燈下度過的這十年像Justin Bieber的一樣亂?且不談他的“小便行為”和“警方指控”，僅在2014年就有超過27.3萬人次簽署請(qǐng)?jiān)笗Ｍ讓m方面撤銷他的綠卡，他也無疑是唯一一個(gè)被奧巴馬政府“正式回應(yīng)”（微笑狀）的“萬人迷”。經(jīng)歷了這么多混亂后的Bieber，用了一種更有助于擺脫他“問題少年”形象的方法來制作音樂:打開Y2K（千禧年危機(jī)）手冊(cè)，從大熱的饒舌和R&B歌曲中偷元素、搬救兵，終于他（用這些黑人愛用的音樂元素）制成了自己“名留青史”的“白面包”版本（譯者注：“白面包”指為迎合白人中產(chǎn)階級(jí)口味），并在整個(gè)過程中讓大家看到自己歌曲的peak（峰值成績）和flop（過氣）。

“Yummy”是Bieber自2015年發(fā)行專輯《Purpose》以來的首支正式單曲，來，我們一起看著它過氣好嗎？在Bieber即將推出的第五張專輯的紀(jì)錄片預(yù)告中，他和團(tuán)隊(duì)一口一句陳詞濫調(diào)，暗示著自從他“找到了自己的妻子”——模特Hailey Baldwin之后，他便生活在一個(gè)更健康、更有創(chuàng)造力的環(huán)境里。如果真如他所說，那么“Yummy”就是一個(gè)活生生的例子，告誡我們：請(qǐng)保持單身。這首歌的制造是為了迎合抖音（一個(gè)短視頻軟件）那壓縮了人們注意力的時(shí)長(他于發(fā)行前后才加入了抖音社區(qū))，口區(qū)！“Yummy”只算得上一首R(shí)&B歌曲的空殼，歌曲被愚蠢的歌詞和無聊的切分背景音所削弱。歌曲一開始就已停滯不前，副歌部分的Bieber就像蹣跚學(xué)步的孩子一樣重復(fù)著“yummy-yum（好吃嘻嘻嘻）”。問題甚至不是說這個(gè)都25歲的人了，還在學(xué)孩童說話來用作（令人反胃的）讓人聽歌的誘餌——但這也比他以前的行徑要好多了。“Yummy”是一次“胎死腹中”的回歸，甚至Bieber聽著自己都會(huì)覺得很廁。