嗯,生活還是要有點甜——《it starts with us 》讀書筆記
上部 :It ends with us 實在是太悲了
下部 :It starts with us 終于治愈系了
上部It ends with us主要圍繞著爸爸家暴母親的女主遇人不淑,婚后被家暴,最后解脫的故事,男主的存在感不高。

故事梗概:
it starts with us 講述著女主Lily獨立生活帶娃,然后和男主Atlas相愛的故事,雖然各自都有生活中的種種困難,但是他們都在破碎的家庭環(huán)境中,活出了更好的自己,遇到了更好的彼此,也治愈著彼此。
喜歡這本書中的的幾個地方:
01 治愈擁抱
書中描述男主跑到女主家,只是給她一個擁抱。而當天兩個人都遇到了不好的事情,當他們擁抱著彼此,給彼此能量,可以繼續(xù)面對生活中的種種問題,并治愈著彼此,真好。本書大部分都是甜甜的。女主治愈著男主的過去,男主治愈著女主的現(xiàn)在。
He holds me so tight, it makes me want to ask him what was so bad about the last hour, but I don’t. I just quietly hug him back. I settle my cheek against his shoulder and revel in the comfort of him.
02 兩種憤怒
當前夫Ryle在女主門口,發(fā)泄他的憤怒,按住她的時候,女主終于醒悟,他根本沒變,于是恐懼再現(xiàn),那是前期被家暴的時候才會有的情緒。也終于解脫,不再自我懷疑。以為是自己做了什么錯事導(dǎo)致Ryle的行為。
同樣男主憤怒的時候,她卻覺得溫暖,那是一種想保護她的憤怒,不是傷害她的憤怒,真的是太暖了,也讓女主看到了憤怒的兩面,看到了憤怒好的一面。女主的某種缺失慢慢的找回。雙向的失而復(fù)得。
Atlas is so angry, but this is an anger I’m not afraid of.
I realize the significance of this moment. I’m alone with an angry man in my apartment, but I’m not in fear for my life, because he isn’t angry at me. He’s angry at the person who hurt me. It’s a protective anger, and there’s a world of difference between my reactions to Ryle’s anger versus my reaction to Atlas’s anger.
03 擁有處理問題的能力
本來以為本書會有男主去揍前夫,并且?guī)椭鹘鉀Q問題的情節(jié),或者女主幫助男主處理家務(wù)事,可是書中并沒有。在同一章節(jié)中,女主自己處理了前夫的問題,男主自己處理了家務(wù)事,真的是一股清流。先有自己,才有彼此。女主即是脆弱的也是勇敢的,當意識到前夫本質(zhì)沒變,果斷的處理。而男主一直知道父母德行,也是果斷的處理了。
寫在最后:?
家暴的心里危害:上部描述了家暴對女主身體的傷害,這本書更多描寫的是家暴對女主的心里傷害,每次女主自我懷疑是不是想太多了,都會拿住一個之前寫好的紙條,這PTSD實在是太心疼了,只能說寶兒,別想太多,真的不是你的問題。
When he grabs his jacket and disappears out the front door, I feel that familiar twinge of guilt creeping into my chest. The guilt is always followed by doubts like, Am I being too hard on him? and What if he really has changed?
I know the answers to these questions, but sometimes it feels good to read the reminders. I go to my room and pull the list out of my jewelry box.
1) He slapped you because you laughed.
2) He pushed you down a flight of stairs.
3) He bit you.
4) He tried to force himself on you.
5) You had to get stitches because of him.
6) Your husband physically hurt you more than once. It would have happened again and again.
7) You did this for your daughter.
這本書可能不如上一本有很深刻的意義,但是作者給了男女主好的結(jié)局,感恩。作者本來沒想開這本書,奈何上本太火,網(wǎng)友們呼吁太熱烈,只能說作者很寵讀者了,雙向的呢。也知道書中的女主常有,男主根本沒有(或許有,但是很少,哈哈哈),又把自己的戀愛腦按下去了??赐瓯緯螅?strong>嗯,生活還是要有點甜。