Don’t Let Micro-Stresses Burn You Out

我們都有過這樣的經(jīng)歷：累了一天回到家，倒在床上，關(guān)上燈，卻好不容易才入睡。對一些人來說，這樣的事幾乎每天都會發(fā)生。你可能會把這種狀況歸咎于某個困難的項(xiàng)目、難搞的客戶或者難伺候的老板給你的壓力，但你可能不知道的是，能讓你累壞的事情還有很多。許多小小的事情會在一整天的時間里都襲擊我們，給我們形成壓力。這些所謂的“微壓力”（micro-stresses）來自于一些你可能未曾考慮過的地方。我們一般每天都要與別人進(jìn)行大量且頻繁的溝通與合作，所接觸到的人也非常多元化。當(dāng)前這種情況更甚于以往任何時候；它產(chǎn)生的壓力正在漸漸積累起來，從而嚴(yán)重地影響我們的健康和工作效率。

We all have days when we go home exhausted, fall into bed, turn off the light, and drift into a fitful sleep. For some of us, that happens almost every day. You might chalk it up to a difficult project, client, or boss stressing you out. But what you might not realize is that there is much more contributing to that exhaustion. Stress comes to us all in tiny little assaults throughout our day — what we call “micro-stresses.” And it’s coming from sources you might never have considered. The volume, diversity, and velocity of relational touch points (the way we routinely communicate and collaborate with others) we all experience in a typical day is beyond anything we have seen in history, and cumulatively they are taking an enormous toll on our health and our productivity at work.

你大概也不需要我們告訴你，壓力會使你更容易患上慢性疾病和精神疾病，比如抑郁癥。據(jù)估計(jì)，與壓力有關(guān)的疾病和癥狀占了所有就診人數(shù)的60-80%。壓力對員工非常有害；美國職業(yè)安全與健康管理局甚至還將壓力稱為一種工作場所危害。壓力會大大地降低工作效率，因?yàn)樵趬毫Φ挠绊懴?，人們會做出質(zhì)量更差的決策，而且他們在工作上的動力、創(chuàng)新性和成效也會變得更低。無法釋放的壓力最終會導(dǎo)致職業(yè)倦??；一旦陷入職業(yè)倦怠，員工會感到疲憊不堪，并且對工作失去興趣，而他們的工作表現(xiàn)也會變差。

You probably don’t need us to tell you that stress makes you more susceptible to chronic illness and mental health conditions, such as depression. By some estimates,?60-80% of all doctor visits are for stress-related ailments and complaints. Stress is so harmful to employees that the?Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA) has declared stress a hazard of the workplace. Stress takes a big bite out of productivity, as stressed-out people tend to make?lower-quality decisions?and are often?less motivated, innovative, and?productive?in their work. Ultimately, unrelieved stress can lead to burnout, which is characterized by exhaustion, detachment, and poorer performance at work.

問題是，多數(shù)人早已把微壓力視為常態(tài)。我們很少承認(rèn)它們的存在，但是積累起來的微壓力會逐漸把我們壓垮。更糟的是，不管是在工作上還是在工作以外，與我們最親近的人往往就是微壓力的來源。根據(jù)我們的觀察，有12種常見的因素會導(dǎo)致壓力；它們都與人際關(guān)系有關(guān)，而且很有可能已在不知不覺中對你的健康造成了巨大的影響（參見下面圖表）。你必須認(rèn)識到這些壓力源的存在，才能開始解決它們。

The problem is that most of us have come to accept micro-stresses as just a normal part of a day. We hardly acknowledge them, but cumulatively they are wearing us down. And what’s worse is that the sources of these micro-stresses are often the people — in and out of work — with whom we are closest. We have identified 12 common “relational” drivers of stress (see chart below) that are likely taking a significant toll on your well-being, without you necessarily being aware of their impact. Until you recognize these sources of stress, you can’t begin to address them.

我們對于微壓力的結(jié)論是以一系列研究作為依據(jù)的。在過去的十年里，我們對數(shù)十家領(lǐng)先公司進(jìn)行了研究，并與數(shù)百位科技、生物制藥、金融、制造等多種行業(yè)的人進(jìn)行了交流。我們也通過定量研究和深度訪談，請他們講述自己所遇到的壓力有哪些是由人際關(guān)系產(chǎn)生的。我們的目標(biāo)是找出哪些微壓力是由我們在工作上和家中的日?；铀苯有纬傻?。我們把這些壓力分成了三大類：消耗個人能力（你能用來應(yīng)付日常生活的時間和精力）的微壓力；消耗情緒儲備的微壓力；對你的身份認(rèn)同和價(jià)值觀形成挑戰(zhàn)的微壓力。這些種類的微壓力，對你來說是不是很熟悉呢？

Our conclusions about micro-stresses are based on?research?we’ve done over the past decade involving dozens of top-tier companies, where we engaged with hundreds of people across industries such as technology, biopharmaceuticals, finance, and manufacturing and asked them to share their experiences of relationship-driven stress with us, using both quantitative studies and in-depth interviews. Our goal was to identify the sources of micro-stresses that are the direct result of the way we typically interact with each other at work and home. We have categorized these stresses into three buckets: 1) micro-stresses that drain your personal capacity (the time and energy you have available to handle life’s demands); 2) micro-stresses that deplete your emotional reserves; and 3) micro-stresses that challenge your identity and values. Do any of these feel familiar?

微壓力會在不知不覺中滲入到我們的日常生活中。下面這個圖表列出的是12種常見的微壓力，以及產(chǎn)生這些壓力的人際關(guān)系。請選出兩、三種給你形成最大壓力的人際關(guān)系。

Micro-stresses infiltrate our lives in ways we often do not realize. The chart below shows 12 common micro-stresses and the relationships from which they emanate. Select the two or three that systematically drive the greatest stress for you.

重點(diǎn)是，這些微壓力都是我們?nèi)粘Ｉ钪械囊徊糠?；雖然我們很少會停下來考慮這些壓力對我們造成的影響，但是它們會漸漸地積累起來。這些壓力雖然只會形成短暫的挑戰(zhàn)，但是它們造成的影響卻會持續(xù)幾個小時、甚至幾天的時間。我們的研究表明，很多高效的人似乎會不知何故陷入職業(yè)倦怠之中。但是，只要更仔細(xì)地觀察一下，我們就能清楚看到引發(fā)職業(yè)倦怠的原因：長時間積累起來的一系列微壓力。

The point is that these micro-stresses are all routinely part of our day and we hardly stop to consider how they are affecting us, but they add up. They may arise as momentary challenges, but the impact of dealing with them can linger for hours or days. In our research, we have seen a plethora of high performers who seem to inexplicably burn out. But when you look more closely, the trigger becomes clear: a battery of micro-stresses building up over time.

那么，我們應(yīng)該怎么做，才能減少生活中的微壓力呢？有關(guān)如何應(yīng)付消極互動和減少壓力的傳統(tǒng)建議不奏效，因?yàn)槲毫υ缫焉钌畹卦谖覀兊纳钪?，連自己也都看不見。這些微壓力通過人際關(guān)系和各種互動來到我們面前，而且來得又多又快，想要擺脫它們并不容易。你或許可以選擇你在一天之中所遇到的一項(xiàng)微壓力（比如一位同事在一個合作項(xiàng)目上表現(xiàn)不達(dá)標(biāo)，或者一位你信任的同事離職），然后試著向一位與你親近的人解釋這件事對你造成的困擾。一直以來，進(jìn)行這樣的討論都能幫助人們處理和應(yīng)付壓力，但是你可能得花上30分鐘把整件事的來龍去脈形容出來，才能讓對方在接下來的半個小時里理解你，或者給出一些有效的建議。一個小時后，要么你覺得好過了一些，要么你們兩人的寶貴時間都被你浪費(fèi)掉了。很多時候，我們會每天遇到20-30次微壓力的沖擊。有這么多的微壓力，哪里有時間說得完，哪里會有人肯聽呢？

So what can be done to mitigate the micro stresses in your life? Traditional advice on coping with negative or stressful interactions doesn’t work because micro-stresses are deeply (and invisibly) embedded in our lives. They are coming at us through relationships and interactions that are too numerous and high velocity to easily shake off. Consider even just one micro-stress in your day — perhaps the frustration of a colleague missing the mark on a joint project, or the emotional toll of a trusted work colleague moving on — and try explaining it to someone close to you. This kind of discussion traditionally helps people process and deal with stress. But it can take 30 minutes to describe the history, dependencies, and context so that that person can empathize and possibly make helpful suggestions over the next half hour. A precious hour later, you might feel better… or you might have wasted both of your time. In many scenarios, we’re getting hit with 20-30 micro-stressors a day. Who has time to articulate this all? And who, on the receiving end, wants to hear it?

微壓力形成的困境比我們以往看到的很不一樣，所以我們必須用上新的工具，才能減輕它們的影響。我們的研究表明，有三種做法具有潛力：

Micro-stressors pose a different dilemma than we have seen before so we need new tools for mitigating them. Our work shows three promising approaches.

1. 選出兩、三個微壓力，然后針對它們采取行動。上面的圖表能幫助你找出哪兩、三個微壓力對你的生活造成了持續(xù)性的影響。我們一般早已把生活中的這些事情視為“正常”，但是只要稍微調(diào)整一下，它們就能發(fā)揮巨大的影響。微壓力會讓人們把情緒憋在心里；只有在釋放了這些情緒之后，你才能理性地思考，并做出一個具建設(shè)性的回應(yīng)。

Isolate and act on two to three micro-stressors.?The chart above can help you to locate two to three micro-stresses that have a persistent impact on your life. These have typically become things we’ve considered to be “normal” in our lives that if altered can have a significant impact. Micro-stressors create emotional build-up that needs to be released before you can think rationally about a constructive response.

所以，第一個步驟就是解壓：暫停一下，把筆記本電腦關(guān)上，然后進(jìn)行一項(xiàng)能幫助你肯定自己、讓你聚精會神的活動，好讓“那些不可理喻且令你煩惱的事情逐漸融化掉”。當(dāng)你把你所關(guān)注的微壓力減少到兩、三個的時候，抽出時間和精力來發(fā)泄情緒就會變得更容易，如果這樣做對你有幫助的話。當(dāng)我們有機(jī)會遠(yuǎn)離焦慮和防備心理帶來的“喧囂”之后，給我們產(chǎn)生壓力的事情看起來就會變得很不一樣。只要在我們的人際關(guān)系網(wǎng)絡(luò)中找一些自己信任的人談?wù)?，我們不僅可以整理出自己煩惱的究竟是什么，以及這件事情為什么會造成困擾，還能從另一個角度看待那些令自己緊張的事情。這樣一來，我們就可以針對壓力的來源采取行動，比如：跟某人進(jìn)行一場尷尬但又重要的對話，以改善彼此的關(guān)系；拒絕無理的要求或者不健康的行為；加強(qiáng)自己的關(guān)系網(wǎng)絡(luò)，以緩沖消極的互動帶來的影響。

So the first step is to decompress — hit the pause button, close the laptop, and undertake an activity that is self-affirming and that absorbs you so “the nonsense of all the things that bother you melts away.” When you narrow the list of micro-stressors you’re focusing on to two or three, it’s easier to find time and energy to vent, if that’s helpful to you. Our stressors often look different after we’ve had a chance to distance ourselves from the “noise” of anxiety or defensiveness. Conversations with trusted people in our network can help to unpack what’s really bothering us and why, or reframe and see our stressors in a different light. We can then act and know that we’re taking direct aim at the source of our stress, for example by having an awkward-but-crucial conversation that can transform a relationship, by pushing back on unreasonable demands or dysfunctional behaviors, or by strengthening the network of people who can help buffer us from negative interactions.

2. 培養(yǎng)人際關(guān)系，從事適當(dāng)?shù)幕顒?，以幫助自己用正確的角度看待無關(guān)緊要的微壓力。可以肯定的是，在改變視角這件事上，用某些方法進(jìn)行正念（比如冥想、寫感謝日記）能夠起到很重要的作用。當(dāng)然，要想有效地抗壓，保持身體的健康非常重要。若要做到這一點(diǎn)，我們就要鍛煉身體，攝取適當(dāng)?shù)臓I養(yǎng)，并保持良好的睡眠習(xí)慣。

Invest in relationships and activities that keep the less consequential micro-stresses in perspective.?To be sure, there are truly important mindfulness practices — like meditation or gratitude journaling — that can help on this front. And, of course, maintaining physical health through exercise, proper nutrition, and good sleep habits is probably the most important lever we have for combatting stress today.

但是，人際關(guān)系方面的解決方法也很重要：生活更多元化、人際關(guān)系更廣闊的人不僅會以不同的方式應(yīng)對微壓力，還能從正確的角度看待它們。我們對一些過著積極生活的人進(jìn)行訪談時發(fā)現(xiàn)，他們往往會在各種場合中（比如體育愛好、志愿工作、公民或宗教社群、讀書會、晚餐俱樂部、地方社群）交到各行各業(yè)的朋友，并與他們維持真誠的關(guān)系。在這些領(lǐng)域中進(jìn)行交流不僅能擴(kuò)大自己的身份認(rèn)同，還能幫助他們“敞開視角”，從更寬的角度看待自己的生活?？朔罅课毫Φ年P(guān)鍵，就是一些能讓自己的生活具有使命感和意義的人際關(guān)系。我們要在工作上建立人脈，并在工作以外交一些朋友，才能為自己定義身份，并讓自己堅(jiān)持下來。

But there are also important relational solutions: people who have greater dimensionality in their lives and broader connections just don’t experience micro-stressors in the same way; they are able to keep them in perspective. When we talk to people who tell a positive life story, they often have cultivated and maintained authentic connections that come from many walks of life — athletic pursuits, volunteer work, civic or religious communities, book or dinner clubs, friends from the local community, and so on. Interactions in these spheres can broaden their identity and “open the aperture” on how they look at their lives. Key to riding above the sea of micro-stressors are relationships that generate a sense of purpose and meaning in our lives — not just in the nature of our employment, but in the connections that sustain and define us beyond our work.

3. 遠(yuǎn)離會制造壓力的人，停止會制造壓力的活動。時間一久，我們就很難察覺出朋友或同事帶給你的究竟是壓力還是快樂。正因如此，壓力才會變得更加危險(xiǎn)。不管是在個人層面上還是在專業(yè)層面上，一旦與某些人糾纏不清，我們就可能會變得情緒枯竭。

Distance or disconnect from stress-creating people or activities.?Over time, it’s not always easy to detect when a friend or colleague is routinely causing you stress, rather than lifting you up. But that’s what makes it all the more insidious. We can become intertwined, both personally and professionally, with people who routinely leave us feeling emotionally depleted.

你要后退一步，評估自己生活中有哪些人際關(guān)系是你能控制的，然后盡量遠(yuǎn)離那些會只會令你緊張，不會讓你快樂的人。必須明確的是，不是只有消極或者有毒的人才會制造壓力。他們可能是我們喜歡親近、卻又鼓勵低效行為的人（“來吧，這個項(xiàng)目明天再完成吧，今晚我們一起去那家新餐廳吃個飯吧！”），或是一些總是不履行工作承諾，老愛把工作留給我們的人（“報(bào)告我沒寫完，我把筆記交給你，你幫我接手吧”）。你并不需要與你喜歡親近的人斷絕來往，但是你必須意識到他們對你的身心健康所造成的影響，并且嘗試為這些關(guān)系劃分界限。

Take a step back and evaluate the relationships in your life over which you have control — and make an effort to create some distance in the ones that create more stress than joy. To be clear, stress-creating relationships are not just negative or toxic ones. They can be people that we enjoy spending time with, but that enable unproductive behaviors (“Come on, you can finish the project tomorrow, let’s check out that new restaurant tonight!) or those who routinely leave us stranded with work because they haven’t come through on what they promised (“I didn’t finish the report, let me give you my notes and you can take it from here…”). You don’t have to disconnect from the people you enjoy being around, but you do have to recognize their effect on your mental and physical well-being and try to put some boundaries around those relationships.

微壓力不一定要成為我們的命運(yùn)。壓力的模式往往是可以預(yù)測的；只要能夠認(rèn)得清它們，我們就可以建立起應(yīng)付壓力所需要的支持網(wǎng)絡(luò)、心態(tài)和建設(shè)性反應(yīng)。一位領(lǐng)導(dǎo)者曾經(jīng)告訴我們：“我將制定一些新的規(guī)則，它們一開始可能會把現(xiàn)狀打亂，但是長遠(yuǎn)來說，它們會幫助我做出更好的貢獻(xiàn)，因?yàn)檫@樣我就不會一直感到疲倦?！爸灰獙W(xué)會認(rèn)識到自己生活中的微壓力的模式，你也能創(chuàng)造適當(dāng)?shù)臈l件來減輕微壓力帶來的影響。

We don’t have to accept micro-stresses as destiny. Stress patterns are often predictable, and if we see them for what they are, we can build the support network, mindset, and constructive responses that we need to head them off. As one leader told us, “I’m just going to lay down some new rules that may upset the cart at first, but in the long run, are going to make me a better contributor, because I won’t feel frazzled all the time.” Once you learn to recognize the patterns of micro-stressors in your own life, you, too, will be able to put the proper conditions in place to mitigate them.

關(guān)鍵詞：自管理??心理健康

羅布·克羅斯是巴布森學(xué)院的全球領(lǐng)導(dǎo)力Edward A. Madden教席教授，也是《The Hidden Power of Social Networks》（哈佛商業(yè)評論出版社，2004年）的合著者。吉恩·辛格是 Collaborative Analytics 的負(fù)責(zé)人，也是《The Organizational Network Field Book》的共同編輯?？▊悺さ引埵恰豆鹕虡I(yè)評論》的一位前編輯。她與克萊頓·克里斯坦森合著了三本書，包括《紐約時報(bào)》暢銷書《How Will You Measure Your Life?》。

歐明謂|譯? 周強(qiáng)|校