Listening is one of the most important skills you can have. How well you listen has a major impact on your study?effectiveness and on the quality of your relationships with other people.

There are five key active listening techniques you can use to help you become a more effective listener:

1. Pay Attention

Give the speaker your undivided attention, and acknowledge the message. Recognize that non-verbal communication also "speaks" loudly.

• Look at the speaker directly.

• Put aside distracting thoughts.

• Don't mentally prepare a rebuttal!

• Avoid being distracted by environmental factors. For example, side conversations.

• "Listen" to the speaker's?body language.

  Tip: Be aware that active listening can give others the impression that you agree with them even if you don't. It’s also important to avoid using active listening as a checklist of actions to follow, rather than really listening. It may help to practice?Mindful Listening?if you find that you lose focus regularly.
  

2. Show That You're Listening

Use your own body language and gestures to show that you are engaged.

• Nod occasionally.

• Smile and use other facial expressions.

• Make sure that your posture is open and interested.

• Encourage the speaker to continue with small verbal comments like yes, and "uh huh."

3. Provide Feedback

Our personal filters, assumptions, judgments, and beliefs can distort what we hear. As a listener, your role is to understand what is being said. This may require you to reflect on what is being said and to ask questions.

• Reflect on what has been said by paraphrasing. "What I'm hearing is... ," and "Sounds like you are saying... ," are great ways to reflect back.

• Ask questions to clarify certain points. "What do you mean when you say... ." "Is this what you mean?"

• Summarize the speaker's comments periodically.

  Tip: If you find yourself responding emotionally to what someone says, say so. And ask for more information: "I may not be understanding you correctly, and I find myself taking what you said personally. What I thought you just said is XXX. Is that what you meant?"

It takes a lot of concentration and determination to be an active listener. Old habits are hard to break, and if your listening skills are as bad as many people's are, then you'll need to do a lot of work to break these bad habits.

中文翻譯：

傾聽是你能擁有的最重要的技能之一。你的傾聽能力如何，對你的學習效率和你與其他人的關系質量有重大影響。有五個關鍵的積極傾聽技巧，你可以用來幫助你成為一個更有效的聽眾。

1. 注意力

全神貫注地關注說話者，并確認其信息。認識到非語言交流也會大聲 "說話"。

直視說話者。

把分散注意力的想法放在一邊。

不要在心理上準備反駁!

避免被環(huán)境因素分心。例如，旁人的談話。

"聽 "說話者的身體語言。

提示：要注意積極傾聽會給別人留下印象，認為你同意他們的觀點，即使你不同意。同樣重要的是，要避免將積極傾聽作為一個要遵循的行動清單，而不是真正的傾聽。如果你發(fā)現(xiàn)自己經(jīng)常失去注意力，練習 "用心傾聽 "可能會有幫助。

2. 顯示你在聽

用你自己的肢體語言和手勢來顯示你的參與。

偶爾點點頭。

微笑和使用其他面部表情。

確保你的姿態(tài)是開放的，有興趣的。

用一些小的口頭評論來鼓勵說話者繼續(xù)說下去，如 "是 "和 "嗯哼"。

3. 提供反饋

我們的個人過濾器、假設、判斷和信仰會扭曲我們聽到的內容。作為一個聽眾，你的作用是理解正在說的東西。這可能需要你反思所講的內容并提出問題。

通過轉述來反思所講的內容。"我所聽到的是......。，"和 "聽起來你好像在說...... "是反思的好方法。，"都是反思的好方法。

提出問題以澄清某些觀點。"你說......是什么意思"。"這就是你的意思嗎？"

定期總結演講者的評論。

提示：如果你發(fā)現(xiàn)自己對某人所說的話有情緒化的反應，就說出來。并要求提供更多信息。"我可能沒有正確理解你的意思，我發(fā)現(xiàn)自己對你說的話有個人感情。我認為你剛才說的是XXX。這是你的意思嗎？"

要成為一個積極的傾聽者，需要很大的注意力和決心。舊的習慣很難打破，如果你的傾聽能力像許多人一樣糟糕，那么你就需要做大量的工作來打破這些壞習慣。