CODY:

When the moon is bright with a pale, blue light

And trouble is nearby.

Only one man fights for what is right:

The Steel Samurai!

And all heroes know when it's time to go

And face their destined fate!

For who should show, but his deadly foe,

The Evil Magistrate!

I saw it with my own two eyes, and it was really great!

PHOENIX:

I'm to understand that you're a big Samurai fan.

You watch the show every week.

Now you have a hand in being a hero to this man,

the truth is the only thing I seek.

CODY:

With a samurai punch and a samurai slash, that battle had caused a deafening crash!

He dodged a strike with a samurai dash, the villain paid for his sins!

With a samurai slap and a samurai chop, that samurai pain just never stopped!

He came on top while the Magistrate dropped, 'cause the samurai always wins!

EDGEWORTH:

Wright! The truth is, this fragile youth is sure of that ruthless attack!

So, stop pressing him, hoping that he'll crack!

PHOENIX:

I'm trying to keep The Steel Samurai out of jail...

Please, if you could, try to go into more detail.

CODY:

What I saw that day was a grim display-

An evil man's demise. (PHOENIX: Uh-oh)

And I stood nearby when the Samurai

Shot lasers from his eyes! (PHOENIX: Wait, what?)

And he flew up high, reaching to the sky

A bright metallic sheen!

The hero chose to strike a pose

And then he flew the scene!

It was just like in episode two-hundred seventeen!

[Spoken, over music]

PHOENIX:

OBJECTION! Cody, what sort of murderer uses a "samurai slap!?" Or for that matter, shoots lasers from his eyes?

EDGEWORTH:

OBJECTION! Clearly, the witness merely has an active imagination--

PHOENIX:

OBJECTION! You know as well as I do that the witness is being vague! He still hasn't testified to seeing the finishing stab. And I think I know why...

[sung]

Cody, you have shown you've got a camera of your own.

You never miss any shots.

If you could show a picture of the killing blow,

it could help us connect the dots...

'Cause you keep all pictures in an album titled "Path to Glory."

With the killing blow from every show to tell a hero's story!

And I'll tell you this, something is amiss, for there's no reason or rhyme...

And for what it's worth, no way on Earth did Cody see this crime!

Witness, TESTIFY! This is the last time!

JUDGE:

Mr. Wright, what is the meaning of this?

[simultaneously:]

FIRST STANZA:

PHOENIX:

Please, no more lies,

I have tried to use a light touch.

I'm trying to preserve the

Show that you love so much.

CODY:

With a samurai kick and a samurai punch

And a samurai triple-suplex-crunch,

The Samurai flipped and spun a bunch--

He'd win no matter the cost!

With a samurai chop and a samurai slap,

The Magistrate felt a sickening snap,

And he was about to take a dirt nap,

'Cause the Samurai's never lost!

SECOND STANZA:

PHOENIX:

Don't be alarmed, for no

Harm will come to this man.

Listen to me, he'll walk free

Thanks to one true fan.

CODY:

With a samurai parry and a samurai guard,

the Magistrate shivered, all beaten and scarred.

The Steel Samurai kicked his butt so hard,

It left permanent footprints!

The Samurai said, "Winners don't do drugs!"

As he wiped out waves of the Magistrate's thugs,

Up against his power, they were just like bugs,

'Cause the Samurai always wins!

EDGEWORTH:

Wright, you dunce, stop this at once,

You're badgering a child--I won't allow it!

Cease these accusations please,

This questioning is wild!

THIRD STANZA:

PHOENIX:

Cody, calm down. Take it easy if you know how.

Cody, relax. I need facts and I need them now.

CODY:

And he did it all while saving a village of nuns

From a hundred-foot monster weighing in at 50 tons,

And breath with the heat of a thousand blue suns,

and a GUN THAT FIRES SHARKS!

And a mile-high volcano was erupting in the east,

And the Samurai plugged it with the 50-ton beast,

Then he fed the starving children with the newly-founded feast,

And he cleaned our national parks!

EDGEWORTH:

Wright, you fool, this kid's in school,

You treat him like a thug--have you no mercy?

Stop wasting this courtroom's time

And quit acting so smug.

WILL:

I don't mind if I'm jailed downtown.

I just don't want to let all the kiddies down.

FOURTH STANZA:

PHOENIX:

Please, tell the truth, this is just a fictitious tale--OBJECTION!

I'm trying to keep the Steel Samurai out of jail.

CODY:

With a samurai dodge and a samurai block

And a samurai ultra-tough-headlock,

The poor Magistrate could only gawk,

He had no help from his friends.

With the Samurai Spear gleaming in the sun,

His Samurai battle almost done,

He had his fun and had finally won,

'Cause the Samurai always wins!

EDGEWORTH:

Wright, don't bluff, that's quite enough,

You've got nothing to add. OBJECTION!

Take these ramblings elsewhere and

Stop pestering this lad!

WILL:

If I go, promise me one thing:

No kids know 'bout this merciless killing...

JUDGE:

Calm yourself, Mr. Wright, I don't want to see a fight!

Please one person at a time, we can figure out this crime!

OVERRULED, OVERRULED! Who do you think you have fooled?

We are done, everyone!

Order, order!