????????Honestly, so far, it is still too shameful for me to express my thoughts openly on the internet. Maybe this is why, I use English, instead of my mother language, to leave the common.?

????????Two sides keep fighting in my mind. My id wants this article to be seen by lots of people because the desire of having a Dom has gradually become impossible to ignore, yet, my super-ego keeps ringing the warning bell whenever I plan to have some action regarding entering the BDSM or such. It is so piercing that I can't tell the right voice in my deep mind.?

????????In the end, I lost my way... The way to my true heart.?

Regarding to the book I found in 「Journal I」. I just finished the introduction of <Sexual Outsiders>. Here are some notes?regarding this chapter.

????????"... BDSM as a complex set of behaviors that can be expressions of people’s health and impulses to grow, or be expressions of people’s brokenness and internal conflict or suffering."

????????"Contrary to popular misconcepons that BDSM is either “good” or “bad,” ... BDSM is a neutral concept. When applied to a healthy relaonship, BDSM can be playful, a growth experience, highly inmate, and grafying.?When applied to an unhealthy relaonship, it can be traumac, destrucve, a barrier to inmacy, and toxic."

????????"There is no one right or wrong way of building a sexual identy. It is paramount to respect people’s autonomy in how they choose to build their sexual selves."

????????"BDSM often uses a power differenal to create that distance and mystery, the structure of which ulmately allows for an intensely connected sexual experience...?Power differences have a proper place in our understanding of sexuality and society and should be welcomed and integrated. Using power, manipulang power, playing with power, idenfying the presence of power."