The power of diversity within yourself

Rebeca Hwang?We're holding hands, staring at the door. My siblings and I were waiting for my mother to come back from the hospital. She was there because my grandmother had cancer surgery that day.?我們手牽著手，盯著門(mén)口。我和兄弟姐妹們?cè)诘戎鴭寢審尼t(yī)院回來(lái)。因?yàn)槟翘焓俏业耐馄抛霭┌Y手術(shù)的日子。
Finally, the doors opened, and she said, "She's gone. She's gone." She started sobbing and immediately said, "We must make arrangements. Your grandmother's dying wish was to be buried back home in Korea."

終于，門(mén)開(kāi)了，她說(shuō)，“外婆走了。她走了?！彼_(kāi)始哭泣，然后很快說(shuō)到，“我們要做好安排。你們外婆的遺愿是要葬回韓國(guó)老家?！?/p>

I was barely 12 years old, and when the shock wore off, my mother's words were ringing in my ears. My grandmother wanted to be buried back home. We had moved from Korea to Argentina six years prior, without knowing any Spanish, or how we were going to make a living. And upon arrival, we were immigrants who had lost everything, so we had to work really hard to rebuild our lives.

我當(dāng)時(shí)也就12歲吧，當(dāng)震驚慢慢退去，媽媽的話仍在耳中回響。我的外婆想落葉歸根。外婆去世的6年前，我們從韓國(guó)搬到阿根廷，完全不懂西班牙語(yǔ)，也不知道要如何生存。抵達(dá)的時(shí)候，我們是身無(wú)分文的YM，因此必須要非常努力地工作來(lái)開(kāi)始新生活。

So it hadn't occurred to me that after all these years, back home was still in Korea. It made me ponder where I would want to be buried someday, where home was for me, and the answer was not obvious. And this really bothered me. So this episode launched a lifelong quest for my identity.

這么多年過(guò)去了，我從未想過(guò)，韓國(guó)才是我的家鄉(xiāng)。我開(kāi)始琢磨，將來(lái)我想被葬在哪里，哪里是我的老家，但我卻找不到答案。這件事令我很困擾。這件事開(kāi)啟了我在往后余生中尋找自己的身份的旅程。

I was born in Korea -- the land of kimchi; raised in Argentina, where I ate so much steak that I'm probably 80 percent cow by now; and I was educated in the US, where I became addicted to peanut butter.

我在泡菜之國(guó)——韓國(guó)出生；在阿根廷長(zhǎng)大，可能因?yàn)槌蕴嗯Ｅ牛矣X(jué)得現(xiàn)在我80%的成分是牛；然后我在美國(guó)接受教育，在這兒又對(duì)花生醬愛(ài)得無(wú)法自拔。

During my childhood, I felt very much Argentinian, but my looks betrayed me at times.

小時(shí)候，我覺(jué)得自己是個(gè)地道的阿根廷人，但我的外表時(shí)不時(shí)會(huì)出賣(mài)我。

I remember on the first day of middle school, my Spanish literature teacher came into the room. She scanned all of my classmates, and she said, "You -- you have to get a tutor, otherwise, you won't pass this class." But by then I was fluent in Spanish already, so it felt as though I could be either Korean or Argentinian, but not both. It felt like a zero-sum game, where I had to give up my old identity to be able to gain or earn a new one.

我還記得上中學(xué)的第一天，我的西班牙文學(xué)老師走進(jìn)教室。她掃了一眼全班同學(xué)，說(shuō)到，“你，你要請(qǐng)一個(gè)家教，否則，你肯定過(guò)不了這門(mén)課?！钡?dāng)時(shí)我的西班牙語(yǔ)已經(jīng)非常流利了，當(dāng)時(shí)給我的感覺(jué)就是，我要么是韓國(guó)人，要么是阿根廷人，但不可能兩者都是。這種感覺(jué)就像是非此即彼的博弈，我必須放棄自己的舊身份，才能獲得新身份。

So when I was 18, I decided to go to Korea, hoping that finally I could find a place to call home. But there people asked me, "Why do you speak Korean with a Spanish accent?"

18歲那年，我決定去韓國(guó)，希望找到一個(gè)能稱(chēng)之為家的地方。但有人問(wèn)我，“為什么你說(shuō)韓語(yǔ)有西班牙口音？”

And, "You must be Japanese because of your big eyes and your foreign body language." And so it turns out that I was too Korean to be Argentinian, but too Argentinian to be Korean.

“你肯定是日本人，因?yàn)槟阊劬艽?，肢體動(dòng)作也像外國(guó)人?！痹瓉?lái)，作為阿根廷人，我太韓國(guó)范兒，作為韓國(guó)人，我又太阿根廷范兒。

And this was a pivotal realization to me. I had failed to find that place in the world to call home. But how many Japanese-looking Koreans who speak with a Spanish accent -- or even more specific, Argentinian accent -- do you think are out there?

對(duì)我來(lái)說(shuō)這是一個(gè)非常關(guān)鍵的認(rèn)識(shí)。我找不到一個(gè)可以稱(chēng)作老家的地方。但是看起來(lái)像日本人的韓國(guó)人，講話又帶著西班牙口音，或者更確切地說(shuō)，帶著阿根廷口音，這樣的人你們覺(jué)得有多少呢？

Perhaps this could be an advantage. It was easy for me to stand out, which couldn't hurt in a world that was rapidly changing, where skills could become obsolete overnight. So I stopped looking for that 100 percent commonality with the people that I met. Instead, I realized that oftentimes, I was the only overlap between groups of people that were usually in conflict with each other.

也許這是一個(gè)優(yōu)勢(shì)。我更容易在人群中凸顯出來(lái)，在這個(gè)變化迅速的世界，你的技能也許一夜之間就被淘汰了。因此我不再在遇到的人身上，尋找100%的共性。取而代之的是，我常常意識(shí)到，自己正好處于交叉地帶，位于常常有沖突發(fā)生的人群中間。

So with this realization in mind, I decided to embrace all of the different versions of myself -- even allow myself to reinvent myself at times. So for example, in high school, I have to confess I was a mega-nerd. I had no sense of fashion -- thick glasses, simple hairstyle -- you can get the idea. I think, actually, I only had friends because I shared my homework.

帶著這種認(rèn)識(shí)，我決定接受一個(gè)截然不同的自己，甚至允許自己以全新的面貌出現(xiàn)。比如，在高中的時(shí)候，我不得不承認(rèn)我是個(gè)書(shū)呆子。對(duì)于時(shí)尚一竅不通——戴著厚眼鏡，留著簡(jiǎn)單的發(fā)型，相信你們能想象出來(lái)。我覺(jué)得，那時(shí)候我之所以有朋友，是因?yàn)槲医枳鳂I(yè)給他們抄。

That's the truth. But once at university, I was able to find a new identity for myself, and the nerd became a popular girl. But it was MIT, so I don't know if I can take too much credit for that. As they say over there, "The odds are good, but the goods are odd."

是真的。但在大學(xué)的時(shí)候，我找到了自己新的身份，從書(shū)呆子變成了受歡迎的女孩。但因?yàn)槲以诼槭±砉?，所以我也不知道這種改變到底有多大用處。他們那兒有句話，“數(shù)量挺多的，質(zhì)量卻不好?！?/p>

I switched majors so many times that my advisors joked that I should get a degree in "random studies."

我換了很多次專(zhuān)業(yè)，最后我的顧問(wèn)開(kāi)玩笑說(shuō)，我應(yīng)該去修一個(gè)“隨機(jī)專(zhuān)業(yè)”學(xué)位。

I told this to my kids.

我把這件事告訴了我的孩子們。

And then over the years, I have gained a lot of different identities. I started as an inventor, entrepreneur, social innovator. Then I became an investor, a woman in tech, a teacher. And most recently, I became a mom, or as my toddler says repeatedly, "Mom!" day and night. Even my accent was so confused -- its origin was so obscure, that my friends called it, "Rebecanese."

這些年我有了許多不同的身份。最開(kāi)始我是作為一名發(fā)明者，企業(yè)家，社會(huì)革新者。之后我成為了投資人，技術(shù)女性，老師。最近我成為了一名母親，或者像我的小家伙不停叫著的，“媽～媽～”，從早到晚。就連我的口音也很奇怪——它是如此復(fù)雜，以至于我的朋友管它叫“瑞貝卡語(yǔ)”。

But reinventing yourself can be very hard. You can face a lot of resistance at times. When I was nearly done with my PhD, I got bitten by that entrepreneurial bug. I was in Silicon Valley, and so writing a thesis in the basement didn't seem as interesting as starting my own company. So I went to my very traditional Korean parents, who are here today, with the task of letting them know that I was going to drop out from my PhD program.

但是重塑自己是非常難的。你時(shí)常會(huì)遇到許多阻礙。在我快拿到博士學(xué)位的時(shí)候，我開(kāi)始心心念念想創(chuàng)業(yè)。我當(dāng)時(shí)在硅谷，在地下室寫(xiě)論文無(wú)趣極了，跟自己開(kāi)公司沒(méi)法比。因此我去找我那非常傳統(tǒng)的父母，他們今天也在現(xiàn)場(chǎng)，我想告訴他們我打算放棄自己的博士學(xué)位。

You see, my siblings and I are the first generation to go to university, so for a family of immigrants, this was kind of a big deal. You can imagine how this conversation was going to go. But fortunately, I had a secret weapon with me, which was a chart that had the average income of all of the graduates from Stanford PhD programs, and then the average income of all the dropouts from Stanford graduate programs.

事實(shí)上，我和我的兄弟姐妹是第一代上大學(xué)的人，而對(duì)于一個(gè)移民家庭來(lái)說(shuō)，這是件大事。不難想象這次對(duì)話會(huì)變成什么樣。但幸運(yùn)的是，我有秘密武器，那是一張圖表，上面展示的是斯坦福博士畢業(yè)生的平均收入水平，還有從斯坦福退學(xué)的人的平均收入水平。

I must tell you -- this chart was definitely skewed by the founders of Google.But my mom looked at the chart, and she said, "Oh, for you -- follow your passion."Hi, Mom.

我必須得說(shuō)，這張圖表的數(shù)據(jù)分布絕對(duì)發(fā)生了偏移，因?yàn)楣雀璧膭?chuàng)始人們。但是我媽媽看著那張圖表，對(duì)我說(shuō)，“哦，我支持你！追隨你的激情吧。”謝了，媽媽。

Now, today my identity quest is no longer to find my tribe. It's more about allowing myself to embrace all of the possible permutations of myself and cultivating diversity within me and not just around me. My boys now are three years and five months old today, and they were already born with three nationalities and four languages.

現(xiàn)在我對(duì)自己身份的追尋不再是為了找到我的部族。而是為了允許我接受自己所有的可能性，形成自身的多元化，而不僅僅是周邊環(huán)境的多元化。我的兒子已經(jīng)3歲5個(gè)月了，他們出生就有3個(gè)國(guó)籍，4種語(yǔ)言。

I should mention now that my husband is actually from Denmark -- just in case I don't have enough culture shocks in my life, I decided to marry a Danish guy. In fact, I think my kids will be the first Vikings who will have a hard time growing a beard when they become older.

對(duì)，現(xiàn)在我應(yīng)該告訴大家，我丈夫是丹麥人，就是為了防止生活給我的文化沖擊還不夠猛烈，因此我嫁給了一個(gè)丹麥人。我想我的孩子應(yīng)該是第一批長(zhǎng)不出絡(luò)腮胡的維京人吧。

Yeah, we'll have to work on that. But I really hope that they will find that their multiplicity is going to open and create a lot of doors for them in their lives, and that they can use this as a way to find commonality in a world that's increasingly global today.

沒(méi)錯(cuò)，我們得解決這個(gè)問(wèn)題。但我真的希望，他們的多樣性，能給他們的生活帶來(lái)多一點(diǎn)可能，他們可以好好利用這一點(diǎn)在今天這個(gè)越來(lái)越全球化的世界中找到共性。

I hope that instead of feeling anxious and worried that they don't fit in that one box or that their identity will become irrelevant someday,?that they can feel free to experiment and to take control of their personal narrative and identity. I also hope that they will use their unique combination of values and languages and cultures and skills to help create a world where identities are no longer used to alienate what looks different, but rather, to bring together people. And most importantly, I really hope that they find tremendous joy in going through these uncharted territories, because I know I have.

我希望他們不用感到焦慮和擔(dān)心，自己無(wú)法適應(yīng)陳規(guī)，或者自己的身份某天變得不再重要，他們可以自由地去嘗試，掌控自己的個(gè)性和身份。我還希望他們充分利用自己獨(dú)特的優(yōu)勢(shì)，把不同價(jià)值觀、語(yǔ)言、文化和技能結(jié)合起來(lái)，幫助建立一個(gè)世界，讓身份不再使得不同外表的人相互疏遠(yuǎn)，相反的，讓他們相互靠近。最重要的是，我真心希望他們?cè)谔剿鬟@個(gè)未知領(lǐng)域的時(shí)候能夠得到巨大的快樂(lè)，因?yàn)槲抑牢沂强鞓?lè)的。

Now, as for my grandmother, her last wish was also her last lesson to me. It turns out that it was never about going back to Korea and being buried there. It was about resting next to her son, who had died long before she moved to Argentina. What mattered to her was not the ocean that divided her past and new world; it was about finding common ground.Thank you.

對(duì)于我外婆來(lái)說(shuō)，她的遺愿也是她給我上的最后一課。其實(shí)是否回到韓國(guó)，安葬在那里，并不重要。重要的是跟她的兒子葬在一起，她的兒子在她來(lái)阿根廷之前就已經(jīng)去世了。對(duì)她而言，重要的不是那海洋，分隔了她的舊生活和新生活，而是找到那一片共同的土地。謝謝大家。