正文翻譯

How can I control my anger?

如何控制自己的憤怒的情緒？

評(píng)論翻譯

Shikhar Agarwal，Top Writer 2013. Been There. Done That.
There once lived a boy who had a bad temper. He would get angry at every little thing. One day, his father gave him a bag of nails and told him, "Every time you get angry, hammer a nail into that front wall."
And so the activity started. On the first day, the boy hammered 50 nails. The next day, he hammered 40. Each time he used to go there, he repented being angry - it was quite a challenge to hammer a nail into that damn brick wall! Slowly, he discovered that controlling anger was easier than hammering, and the number of nails hammered started going down.
Eventually, a day came when he didn't get angry, and he felt the joy of it. Now his father gave him another task, "If you do not get angry the entire day, remove one nail from the wall." After several days, all the nails were removed.
Now his father took him near the wall and asked him what did he see. The boy replied that he can see holes in the wall. The father then explained to his son: "These holes are like the scars that you leave on people when you get angry. No matter how many times you say sorry, the scar does not go."

從前有一個(gè)男孩脾氣很壞。他會(huì)為每一件小事生氣。有一天，他的父親給了他一袋釘子，告訴他：“每次你生氣的時(shí)候，就在前面的墻上釘一顆釘子?！?br>于是活動(dòng)開始了。第一天，男孩釘了50顆釘子。第二天，他釘了40顆。每次他去那里，他都后悔生氣了——要把釘子釘進(jìn)那該死的磚墻，真是個(gè)挑戰(zhàn)！慢慢地，他發(fā)現(xiàn)控制憤怒比敲擊更容易，于是敲擊的釘子數(shù)量開始減少。
最終，有一天他沒有生氣，他感到了快樂?，F(xiàn)在他的父親又給了他一個(gè)任務(wù)：“如果你一整天都不生氣，就把墻上的一顆釘子拔下來?！睅滋旌螅械尼斪佣及瘟?。
他父親把他帶到墻邊，問他看見了什么。男孩回答說他能看到墻上的洞。父親向兒子解釋道：“這些洞就像你生氣時(shí)留給別人的傷疤。無論你說多少次對(duì)不起，傷疤都不會(huì)消失。”
原創(chuàng)翻譯：龍騰網(wǎng) http://www.ltaaa.cn 轉(zhuǎn)載請(qǐng)注明出處

So I suggest you two things:
Realize that words once spoken cannot come back. Your anger hurts others and leaves a sour impression that lasts forever.
Each time you get angry, "hammer a nail". Simplest thing you can do is to carry a pocket diary and put a line each time you get angry. Then at night, count the number of lines for that day. If you make this a habit, each time you would get angry, you would be reminded to note it down. Indirectly, you would also realize that you getting angry. And because you are conscious and aware at that time, you would find it easier to control your actions and subdue anger.
I hope the day comes soon when you don't have any line in your diary.

所以我建議你做兩件事：
要知道，話說出口就回不來了。你的憤怒會(huì)傷害別人，并給人留下永久的壞印象。
每次你生氣，“釘一顆釘子”。你們能做的最簡單的事情就是隨身攜帶一本袖珍日記，每次你們生氣的時(shí)候?qū)懸恍?。然后在晚上，?shù)一數(shù)當(dāng)天的行數(shù)。如果你養(yǎng)成了這個(gè)習(xí)慣，每次你生氣的時(shí)候，都會(huì)被提醒記下來。間接地，你也會(huì)意識(shí)到你在生氣。因?yàn)槟菚r(shí)你有意識(shí)，你會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)更容易控制自己的行為和抑制憤怒。
我希望你的日記里沒有任何一行字的這一天很快就會(huì)到來。

Ankita Sinha
How can I get rid of anger?
My husband and I were arguing over something.
None of us was ready to listen to the other, and very soon I got very irritated.
‘Why is he not agreeing to me?’
‘Why can’t he look at my point of view?’
Something that was bothering me more was the undisturbed way he was responding with a counterargument.
It didn’t feel good ‘not to respond’. My ego kept pushing me to give it back, and in no time I started shouting.
It continued for a while when a courier person knocked on the door.
I went out, smiled at him, took the package, said ‘Thank you’ in a lovely tone, and came inside ready to shout again.
Husband said, ‘How could you just change in seconds from being a lovely person to someone exactly opposite? Are you making this up?’
It made me introspect.

我怎樣才能消除憤怒？
我丈夫和我在為一件事爭吵。
我們誰也不愿意聽對(duì)方說話，很快我就非常惱火。
“他為什么不同意我？”
“為什么他不能接受我的觀點(diǎn)？”
更讓我困擾的是他不受干擾的反駁方式。
“不回應(yīng)”感覺不太好。我的自尊心不停地催促我反擊，很快我就開始大喊大叫。
過了一會(huì)兒，一個(gè)快遞員來敲門。
我走了出去，對(duì)他笑了笑，接過包裹，用可愛的語氣說了聲“謝謝”，然后走進(jìn)屋里準(zhǔn)備再次大喊。
丈夫說:“你怎么能在幾秒鐘內(nèi)從一個(gè)可愛的人變成一個(gè)完全相反的人呢?”你是裝的嗎?”
這讓我開始反省。
原創(chuàng)翻譯：龍騰網(wǎng) http://www.ltaaa.cn 轉(zhuǎn)載請(qǐng)注明出處

How did I do that? Yes, it all happened on its own. Yes, it was out of impulsiveness that I got angry. But then how did it change to normal so automatically?
‘Teleology’, a term used in Adlerian psychology says that we use anger as a tool. A tool to achieve the goal.
And the subconscious goal is that the other person submits to you, and listens to whatever you say. You don’t realize but you want to overpower the other person so that you can assert your opinion.
So, how can you get rid of this?
By using this tool as little as we can.
No, we will not be submissive, we will still respond but the way my husband did.
Calm and assertive.
Backed up with logic and reasoning.
Sure, it might take some time to get rid of that impulsive behavior but aren’t we all on the path of self-improvement?

我是怎么做到的? 是的，這一切都是自然而然發(fā)生的。我生氣是出于沖動(dòng)。但它是如何自動(dòng)恢復(fù)正常的呢?
阿德勒心理學(xué)中的"目的論"說我們把憤怒當(dāng)作工具。實(shí)現(xiàn)目標(biāo)的工具。
潛意識(shí)的目標(biāo)是讓對(duì)方服從你，聽你說的任何話。你沒有意識(shí)到，但是你想壓制別人，這樣你就可以堅(jiān)持自己的觀點(diǎn)。
那么，如何才能擺脫這種情況呢?
我們盡量少用這個(gè)工具。
不，我們不會(huì)屈服，我們?nèi)匀粫?huì)像我丈夫那樣回應(yīng)。
冷靜和自信。
有邏輯和推理支持。
當(dāng)然，擺脫這種沖動(dòng)行為可能需要一些時(shí)間，但我們不是都在自我提升的道路上嗎?

Julie Gurner，Doc of Psychology and Executive Performance Coach1y
As long as someone has the ability to make you angry, they control you.
I’m going to tell you exactly how to move forward when you carry anger…so here we go…
First, I just want to say that I’m not against anger…it can be entirely justified, and humans are meant to experience a range of emotions, including anger. When you *never* experience anger, that’s a problem too - so I want you to feel it. Even feel it strongly. That’s good for you.
The problem isn’t that you *experience* anger, the problem comes when you *carry* anger.
This is an important distinction to make.
Experiencing anger is natural…carrying anger can literally destroy your life.
Anger is rarely as simple as it seems, and takes many forms - like resentment or rage.
At its worst, anger that is carried around starts to bleed into two main areas:
Your Thinking - You become more cynical, mistrusting, skeptical, and wary.
Your Disposition - You become more guarded, less “l(fā)ight hearted,” fun, warm, and it changes how you relate to others.
This changes the nature of not just the relationships you have with the person you may be angry at…but it changes YOU. This is the toxin of anger.

只要有人能讓你生氣，他們就控制了你。
我將告訴你當(dāng)你帶著憤怒時(shí)如何前進(jìn)，所以我們開始吧
首先，我只是想說，我并不反對(duì)憤怒，這是完全有道理的，人類注定要經(jīng)歷一系列情緒，包括憤怒。當(dāng)你“從未”體驗(yàn)過憤怒時(shí)，這也是一個(gè)問題——所以我希望你能感受到它。甚至強(qiáng)烈地感覺到它。這對(duì)你有好處。
問題不在于你“體驗(yàn)”憤怒，而在于你“帶著”憤怒。
這是一個(gè)重要的區(qū)別。
經(jīng)歷憤怒是很自然的，帶著憤怒可以摧毀你的生活。
憤怒并不像它看起來那么簡單，它有很多形式——比如怨恨或憤怒。
最糟糕的情況是，人們的憤怒開始滲透到兩個(gè)主要方面:
你的想法——你變得更加憤世嫉俗、不信任、懷疑和警惕。
你的性格——你變得更加謹(jǐn)慎，不那么“輕松”，不那么有趣，不那么熱情，這改變了你與他人的關(guān)系。
這不僅改變了你和那個(gè)讓你生氣的人之間關(guān)系的本質(zhì)，也改變了你自己。這就是憤怒的毒素。

So, how do you control it? (the question you asked)…h(huán)ere are some tips to start thinking about, no matter the origin or reasons for your anger:
What serves *me* best? Anger comes from a lot of places - hurt, violation, betrayal, etc..but does it serve *you* to carry anger, to allow it to infect you or change you…or does it hurt you further? Give this some honest and obxtive thought.
Allow People to Own their Toxicity. That means that if they have done something to create this anger…allow it to live with *them,* not you. They hold the toxic qualities, not you. You responded to it, but you do not need to continue to carry it around…that is for them to do.
See it as a Boundary Issue. Know the difference between what other people should own, and what you have to take on. Draw the lines. Make it like a bubble around that person visually…they contain all of these things, not you. Limit your contact with the thing that contains this type of energy or stirs it in you.
There is a great saying that “you always want to slay the beast when it’s little” - and though I don’t advocate for killing anything, I would advocate for slaying the beast of anger very early on.
It’s okay to feel anger. It’s healthy to feel it. But it becomes something that will destroy you and your life if you don’t address it.
Consider the questions above, do some real reflections, and make the changes you need to make.
The past is done, the future is yet to be…so vow to create something amazing for yourself and allow the person who creates toxicity to stew in it alone.
You deserve better.

那么，如何控制它呢?(你問的問題)......不管你生氣的起因和原因是什么，這里有一些建議你可以開始考慮:
什么最適合我？憤怒來自很多地方——傷害、侵犯、背叛等等。但它是否有助于你攜帶憤怒，讓它感染你或改變你, 還是會(huì)進(jìn)一步傷害你？ 請(qǐng)誠實(shí)客觀地考慮一下。
允許人們擁有自己的毒性。這意味著，如果他們做了什么事導(dǎo)致了這種憤怒，那么就讓它與他們一起生活，而不是你。有毒的是他們，不是你。你回應(yīng)了它，但你不需要繼續(xù)隨身攜帶它，這是他們要做的。
把它看作一個(gè)邊界問題。知道別人應(yīng)該擁有什么和你必須承擔(dān)什么之間的區(qū)別。劃清界限。讓這個(gè)人看起來像一個(gè)泡泡，他們包含所有這些東西，而不是你。限制你與包含這種能量的事物的接觸或在你體內(nèi)攪動(dòng)它。
有句名言說得好:“你總是想在野獸小的時(shí)候殺死它“。雖然我不提倡殺死任何東西，但我會(huì)提倡在一開始就殺死憤怒的野獸。
感到憤怒是正常的。有這種感覺很健康, 但如果你不解決它，它就會(huì)毀了你和你的生活。
考慮上面的問題，做一些真正的反思，做出你需要的改變。
過去已經(jīng)過去了，未來還未到來，所以發(fā)誓要為自己創(chuàng)造一些神奇的東西，讓那些產(chǎn)生毒性的人獨(dú)自沉浸其中。
你值得更好的。