DUCKWORTH: Stephen, you recently emailed me for my advice.

DUBNER: I did.

DUCKWORTH: I remember being, I think, on my phone. And I read your email quickly, and I typed out my reply even more quickly.

DUBNER: Oh, thanks. It’s nice to know how much you care.?

DUCKWORTH: Yeah, that’s right. So, I just want you to know that I hardly thought about it at all.?

DUBNER: Angela, these are the things that we should think and keep to ourselves and not say aloud, but it’s okay because I’m a good friend, and I can handle it. No, actually, your answer was really useful. So, let me give a little context so people know what we’re talking about here. I recently played in a golf tournament in California. And it was an amazing and fascinating experience, because the groupings were a golf pro — these were the, what they call the “seniors,” the 50-over P.G.A. Tour players. So, there was one pro in each group, and then two amateurs. I was one of the amateurs. And then one, what are called a “junior,” who are also amateurs, but these are really, really, really good young players. But this young athlete, whose name is Sarah — I played with her, and she is amazing. She’s 16 years old, and already a very, very, very good golfer. So, she is the kind of person that could easily become a professional golfer if she keeps at it.

DUCKWORTH: Wow.

DUBNER: You would have a field day talking with Sarah, because her devotion in the form of a certain kind of grit is so, so deep. She gets up at something like 4:30 or 5:00 every day to work out, and then after school is practicing every day. And when you play with her, you’re not surprised that she works so hard, because she’s amazing. Anyway, I played a round with her. She did very well. And then, afterwards, I got an email from her dad, and I was so kind of moved by it — that he was asking for a little bit of help — that I, of course, wanted to help, and I reached out to you. So, the dad wrote to me to say that his daughter, Sarah, she’s never been super talkative. In fact, she’s often pretty quiet