The first book that I’ve finished reading this year is Mitch Albom’s “Tuesdays With Morrie”. After sixteen years apart, Albom reunites with his dying professor, Morrie, who delivers his last course of on the meanings in life he discovered from his imminent death.

At first, Mitch is portrayed as a man who has pushed aside his initial purpose in life for bigger pay checks, losing himself in a sea of work appointments. His situation may be parallel to many peers who have lost themselves in ticking the boxes of a life prescribed by the mainstream culture, overlooking the differences in individual aspirations. When he is brought to face death, however, his own values come back to him, and he discusses these with Morrie, who replies him from the perspective of a dying man. Nonetheless, that is not meant to sound pessimistic; in fact, “once you learn how to die, you know how to live”, as you will be “more involved in life while living”. This concept reminds me of what I’ve read in Jane McGonigal’s “Reality is Broken”, where she said a daily dose of reminder about death actually makes us more involved in life (hence her design of tombstone hold’em poker). How does that work? You learn to appreciate the littlest things in life, like the sunshine, the wind, the chirping of the birds, things that you often overlook when you are busy (this concept also corresponds to what William B. Irvine mentioned in his book “On Desire”, which I read in high school). If you take even five minutes of your life everyday to engage with life in this manner, chances are that you will appreciate more and desire less.

Another idea from this book that resonated with something I’d read earlier is detaching from emotions. That does not mean avoiding emotions; rather, it means fully engaging with them, understanding their features, recognising their idiosyncrasies and coming to terms with them. It is like standing on a sidewalk, watching the cars passing by, identifying their colours and models, except that now the cars are emotions. This reminds me of Russ Harris’ “The Happiness Trap”, which advises readers not to back away from emotions, but to go through them, get familiar with them and allow them to come and go. Very effective in my opinion.

Last but not least, we come to an overarching theme of “l(fā)ove”. This encompasses love of our immediate family as well as the human family. In terms of the former, Morrie considers respect, compromise, talking openly and having a common set of values in life (especially the belief in the importance of your relationship) as the key components of a successful relationship. In the 21st century, however, people are often cautious about forming such bonds as these ties are not only time consuming to create, but also cumbersome, requiring lots of effort and trust to maintain. Morrie also endorses the experience of having children, claiming that this is the “deepest way” to learn how to love and bond. Nevertheless, I’m not sure how much he understands about the sacrifice women must make for their children, and thus take this opinion with my reservations. Surely you need to know how to love yourself before being able to love another, right?

Morrie’s point about the human family, though, has been a recurring theme across many books that I’ve read over the last three years. This is especially prominent in Yuval Harari’s “21 Lessons for the 21st Century”; he claims that humans must learn to bond together as a united community in order to tackle global problems we face: global warming, the rise of big and bio data, the fanatic -isms, etc. Is it really possible to discard the coloured lens that separate our in groups from out groups to bond as a universal humanity? Maybe only when we face the threat of an extraterrestrial nation (as depicted in Liu Cixin’s “Three Body”). Either way, I feel quite pessimistic about this possibility (this pessimism is accentuated by seeing how Genshin Impact has recently changed some character outfits on the Chinese server only, on a very tight notice at that). Nonetheless, we can still make our individual efforts towards that grand goal by offering what we can give and being kind to even strangers (reminding me of Cruel 2 B Kind, another game by McGonigal).

Finally, to end on a quote, “Ageing is not decay; it’s growth. I am every age, up to my own.” These are no doubt some soothing words to ease my anxiety about ageing. Perhaps, if I see every growing year as an asset rather than a liability, I will enjoy my ageing process. While I am still in the midst of my blooming years, why not appreciate my current lifestyle as it is, when I still have the luxury to do so? Same to you.