中英文稿

我是個(gè)專(zhuān)業(yè)的麻煩制造者。

因?yàn)槲业墓ぷ骶褪桥惺澜纾?批判劣質(zhì)的系統(tǒng)與不求上進(jìn)的人，?作為一名作家、演講家 以及一名“臭名昭著”的尼日利亞人——

我覺(jué)得我的工作 就和圖中這只貓差不多。

（笑聲） （圖片：自認(rèn)清高的藝術(shù)家）

我就是那種挑剔別人生活的人，?總想著 “我需要你改一改?！?這就是我。?我希望我們可以 讓這個(gè)世界變得更好。?我選擇改變世界的方式?是暢所欲言，

通過(guò)當(dāng)?shù)谝粡埗嗝字Z骨牌。?為了讓一排骨牌倒下，?必須有一個(gè)先倒下，?剩下的骨牌別無(wú)選擇， 就會(huì)跟著倒下。?有了那張倒下的骨牌，?我們希望?下個(gè)看到這個(gè)情況的人會(huì)被激勵(lì)， 也成為一張骨牌。

對(duì)我而言，作為骨牌就要公開(kāi)表態(tài)，?就要迎難而上，?特別是當(dāng)人們需要 有人挺身而出的時(shí)候，?希望其他人也能效仿。

此外還有一點(diǎn)： 我就是那種會(huì)說(shuō)出?想說(shuō)但不敢說(shuō)的話(huà)的人。?人們經(jīng)常會(huì)覺(jué)得 我們這種人是無(wú)所畏懼的，?做這種事的人是無(wú)所畏懼的。?我們并不是無(wú)所畏懼。?我們并不是不怕這些后果，?也不是不懼怕?宣揚(yáng)真理后的犧牲。?事實(shí)上，我們覺(jué)得這是我們的義務(wù)，?因?yàn)樵谶@個(gè)世界?愿意當(dāng)骨牌的人太少，?鮮有人愿意第一個(gè)倒下。?我們這么做不是不會(huì)恐懼。

現(xiàn)在，我們講一講恐懼。?我曾經(jīng)很清楚長(zhǎng)大后想做什么，?“我要成為一位醫(yī)生!”?當(dāng)上醫(yī)生是我曾經(jīng)的夢(mèng)想，?在《小醫(yī)師大玩偶》流行起來(lái)之前 我就在扮演醫(yī)師。

我記得我上大學(xué)的時(shí)候，?我大一的時(shí)候， 必須上化學(xué)基礎(chǔ)這門(mén)課，?為了我的預(yù)科主修做準(zhǔn)備。?我拿了學(xué)術(shù)生涯中唯一的一個(gè)D。

于是我去找學(xué)校輔導(dǎo)員說(shuō)：?“我放棄醫(yī)學(xué)院預(yù)科了，?因?yàn)槲也皇钱?dāng)醫(yī)生的料，?因?yàn)槲腋揪筒幌矚g醫(yī)院。?所以...“

“還是算了吧?！?也是在那個(gè)學(xué)期，我開(kāi)始寫(xiě)博客。?那是2003年。?當(dāng)一個(gè)夢(mèng)想結(jié)束的時(shí)候， 另外一個(gè)夢(mèng)想開(kāi)始了。?后來(lái)，當(dāng)我2010年失去了 市場(chǎng)營(yíng)銷(xiāo)工作的時(shí)候，?這個(gè)可愛(ài)的愛(ài)好 就成為了我全職的工作。?但我花了兩年多時(shí)間才能說(shuō)： “我是個(gè)作家?！?在我寫(xiě)作了九年之后我才說(shuō)， “我是個(gè)作家?！?因?yàn)槲液ε?沒(méi)有退休金的后果，?我害怕我不能 繼續(xù)保持買(mǎi)鞋的習(xí)慣，?那對(duì)我很重要。

所以我需要花很長(zhǎng)的時(shí)間?去了解我的目的是什么。?然后我意識(shí)到，?恐懼是一股非常具體的力量，?會(huì)阻止我們說(shuō)出和踐行 我們真正的目的。?于是我想，“你知道嗎？?我不會(huì)讓恐懼主宰我的生活。?我不會(huì)讓恐懼支配我的所作所為?！?/p>

于是所有奇妙的事情開(kāi)始發(fā)生了，?骨牌開(kāi)始倒下了。?當(dāng)我意識(shí)到的時(shí)候， 我開(kāi)始想，“好，2015年?我30歲了，?這將是我 ‘不顧一切‘ 的一年?我會(huì)積極地去追求 任何令我恐懼的事情?！?我是個(gè)摩羯座，?我喜歡腳踏實(shí)地的感覺(jué)。?我決定開(kāi)啟人生的首次個(gè)人旅行，?我決定去多米尼加共和國(guó)。

那么在我生日的那一天， 我做了什么？?我通過(guò)索道 穿越蓬塔·卡納森林。?因?yàn)槟承┢婀值脑颍?我穿了商務(wù)裝。?不要問(wèn)我為什么。

我度過(guò)了特別棒的時(shí)光。?我不喜歡潛水。?再說(shuō)一次， 我喜歡腳踏實(shí)地。?所以我去了墨西哥， 在水下和海豚游泳。?那一年，我還做了一件超酷的事情，?那是我的人生巔峰——?我寫(xiě)了一本書(shū)，?《我在評(píng)判你：如何做得更好》?所以我現(xiàn)在應(yīng)該算——

掌握寫(xiě)作的能力了，對(duì)吧？?是的。?但在那一年，我做的 最非?！胺次摇钡氖虑椋?簡(jiǎn)直要嚇?biāo)牢伊恕?我去跳傘了。?我們正要從飛機(jī)里跳下去的時(shí)候,?我在想， “這絕對(duì)是我這輩子做過(guò)的蠢事之一?！?/p>

接下來(lái)我們就向地面墜落，?我看著地面， 我簡(jiǎn)直無(wú)法呼吸，?我在想，“我剛剛故意從一架 完好無(wú)損的飛機(jī)上跳下來(lái)了！”

“我有毛病嗎？！”?但當(dāng)我俯視地表美景時(shí)，?我在想， ‘“這是我做過(guò)的最好的事情，?這是一個(gè)超棒的決定。”?我回想起需要 說(shuō)出實(shí)話(huà)的那些時(shí)刻。?那感覺(jué)就像正從飛機(jī)上掉下來(lái)，?就像我在飛機(jī)邊緣的那一刻，?我告訴自己，“你不應(yīng)該這么做，”?但無(wú)論如何我還是做了， 因?yàn)槲乙庾R(shí)到自己必須去做。

對(duì)我來(lái)說(shuō)，坐在飛機(jī)邊緣，?或者說(shuō)呆在飛機(jī)上是很舒服的。?我感覺(jué)，在我訴說(shuō)真相，?和那些比我強(qiáng)大的機(jī)構(gòu)和人，?以及那些更強(qiáng)大的勢(shì)力抗衡的每一天。?都仿佛從那架飛機(jī)上掉下來(lái)一般。?但我意識(shí)到， 舒適感其實(shí)被高估了。?因?yàn)槌聊亲钍孢m的。?不去改變才是舒適的。?但是舒適感能帶給我們的 只有維護(hù)現(xiàn)狀而已。?所以我們應(yīng)該通過(guò) 在必要的時(shí)候說(shuō)出嚴(yán)峻的現(xiàn)實(shí)?來(lái)學(xué)會(huì)走出自己的舒適區(qū)。?而且我——

我也意識(shí)到了坦白真相的重要性，?因?yàn)檎\(chéng)實(shí)對(duì)于我來(lái)說(shuō)非常重要。?我珍惜我的正直。?正義—— 我不認(rèn)為正義是一個(gè)選項(xiàng)。?我們需要一直保持公平正義。?不過(guò)，我相信 乳木果油也十分重要——

因?yàn)槿绻覀兏幼虧?rùn)， 世界就會(huì)變得更好。?但除此之外，?我的核心價(jià)值觀是： 我必須講出事實(shí)。?在這個(gè)問(wèn)題上我沒(méi)有其他的選擇。?但像我這樣的人， 專(zhuān)業(yè)的麻煩制造者，?不應(yīng)該只有我們?yōu)槌蔀楣桥偏I(xiàn)身，?不應(yīng)該只有我們 總是從飛機(jī)上跳下來(lái)，?不應(yīng)該只有我們成為靶子。?人們懼怕嚴(yán)重的后果，?所以沒(méi)有意識(shí)到，很多時(shí)候， 當(dāng)我們走進(jìn)房間時(shí)，?我們是房間里最強(qiáng)大的一批人——?或者可能是第二強(qiáng)大、 第三強(qiáng)大的人。?并且我堅(jiān)信那時(shí)我們的任務(wù)?是去中止正在發(fā)生的事。?如果我們不是最強(qiáng)大的人，?只要有更多的人加入我們，?我們就會(huì)變得更強(qiáng)大。?比如在開(kāi)會(huì)時(shí)聯(lián)合所有女性，?我們要讓那些不敢發(fā)聲的女性，?那些不敢發(fā)表看法的人?能被傾聽(tīng)。?我們的任務(wù)是為了 確保她們的這一權(quán)益。

社會(huì)的目標(biāo)就是確保每個(gè)人的幸福。?如果我們明確了這一點(diǎn)， 我們就會(huì)了解到，?當(dāng)我們需要幫助的時(shí)候，?如果我們?cè)?jīng)對(duì)他人施以援手，?就不必艱難地四處求助。

有時(shí)候，我在公共場(chǎng)合?會(huì)感到十分受挫，?比如有一次， 我受邀去會(huì)議上發(fā)表演講，?他們想讓我自付差旅費(fèi)。?然后我做了些調(diào)查，?發(fā)現(xiàn)在那兒演講的 白人男性都拿到了酬勞，?并報(bào)銷(xiāo)了他們的差旅費(fèi)。?在那兒演講的白人女性 至少也拿到了差旅費(fèi)。?而黑人女性，卻需要自費(fèi)演講。?我就在想，“我該怎么辦？“?我知道如果將這件事公之于眾，?我可能會(huì)面對(duì)財(cái)務(wù)損失。?但是我也知道 我的沉默不會(huì)幫助任何人。

所以盡管心中十分忐忑， 我還是公開(kāi)地談?wù)摿诉@件事情。?之后其他女性也開(kāi)始站出來(lái)談?wù)摚?“我也面對(duì)過(guò)這種不公平的待遇?！?于是我們開(kāi)始討論那個(gè)會(huì)議的?歧視性報(bào)酬。?當(dāng)我讀到一位公眾人物?帶有歧視性的回憶錄 并寫(xiě)了一些讀后感時(shí)，?我覺(jué)得我成了一張骨牌，?我知道這個(gè)人比我更強(qiáng)大， 他可能會(huì)影響我的事業(yè)，?但我想，“我得做這件事。?我得坐在“飛機(jī)”的邊緣， 想了大概兩個(gè)小時(shí)，?最后決定放手一搏。 我按了“發(fā)布”鍵，然后溜了。

然后我發(fā)現(xiàn)這篇文章 收到了極高的關(guān)注，?人們?cè)谡f(shuō)，“天哪，我很開(kāi)心 終于有個(gè)人說(shuō)這個(gè)了?！?然后它開(kāi)啟了一場(chǎng)?關(guān)于精神健康和自我照顧的討論，?我想，“好啊，?我猜我正在做的這件事情， 正在產(chǎn)生影響。”?然后當(dāng)很多人開(kāi)始討論?自己怎么被位高權(quán)重的男性 抨擊的時(shí)候，他們也成為了骨牌。?然后數(shù)百萬(wàn)女性也加入進(jìn)來(lái)， 并說(shuō)出，“我也是?！?在此，要感謝 塔拉娜·伯克點(diǎn)燃了這場(chǎng)運(yùn)動(dòng)。

大眾和體制在依靠 我們的沉默去維持現(xiàn)狀。?但有的時(shí)候成為骨牌就是在做自己。

我從三歲起就是個(gè) 名聲不怎么樣的人。

這是我三歲生日時(shí)的照片。?但我這一生從未改變，?我始終覺(jué)得應(yīng)該去當(dāng)那一張骨牌，?因?yàn)樯系巯胱屛覀內(nèi)?為自己發(fā)聲，?活出自我是一種革命性的行為。?在一個(gè)想讓我們謹(jǐn)言慎行的世界里，?我選擇大聲呼喊。

當(dāng)我感到有些事情 讓我難以啟齒的時(shí)候，?我會(huì)問(wèn)自己三個(gè)問(wèn)題，?第一：你是認(rèn)真的嗎？?第二：你可以為它辯護(hù)嗎？?第三：你是為愛(ài)發(fā)聲嗎？?如果這三個(gè)問(wèn)題的答案都是肯定的，?我就會(huì)不計(jì)后果地說(shuō)出來(lái)。?那很重要。?這三個(gè)問(wèn)題?始終給予我肯定的力量。?說(shuō)實(shí)話(huà)—— 說(shuō)出深思熟慮的實(shí)話(huà)——?不應(yīng)該成為革命性的舉動(dòng)。?對(duì)權(quán)勢(shì)說(shuō)真話(huà)不應(yīng)該 意味著犧牲，但事實(shí)卻是如此。?但是如果更多的人能加入我們，?我們的處境會(huì)比現(xiàn)在更好。

說(shuō)到更好的世界，?我認(rèn)為我們有責(zé)任 用真相搭建橋梁，?去連接共同點(diǎn)，?那些沒(méi)有用真相 搭建起來(lái)的橋梁就會(huì)崩塌。?所以，這是我們的工作，?我們的義務(wù)和責(zé)任?不屈從于權(quán)貴，去成為骨牌，?不只是在艱難的時(shí)候——?尤其是在艱難的時(shí)候。?謝謝。

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I'm a professional troublemaker.

As my job is to critique the world,?the shoddy systems and the people who refuse to do better,?as a writer, as a speaker, as a shady Nigerian --

I feel like my purpose is to be this cat.

I am the person who is looking at other people,?like, "I need you to fix it."?That is me.?I want us to leave this world better than we found it.?And how I choose to effect change?is by speaking up,?by being the first and by being the domino.

For a line of dominoes to fall,?one has to fall first,?which then leaves the other choiceless to do the same.?And that domino that falls,?we're hoping that, OK,?the next person that sees this is inspired to be a domino.?Being the domino, for me, looks like speaking up?and doing the things that are really difficult,?especially when they are needed,?with the hope that others will follow suit.?And here's the thing: I'm the person who says?what you might be thinking but dared not to say.?A lot of times people think that we're fearless,?the people who do this, we're fearless.?We're not fearless.?We're not unafraid of the consequences?or the sacrifices that we have to make?by speaking truth to power.?What happens is, we feel like we have to,?because there are too few people in the world?willing to be the domino,?too few people willing to take that fall.?We're not doing it without fear.

Now, let's talk about fear.?I knew exactly what I wanted to be when I grew up.?I was like, "I'm going to be a doctor!"?Doctor Luvvie was the dream.?I was Doc McStuffins before it was a thing.

And I remember when I went to college,?my freshman year, I had to take Chemistry 101?for my premed major.?I got the first and last D of my academic career.

So I went to my advisor, and I was like,?"OK, let's drop the premed,?because this doctor thing is not going to work,?because I don't even like hospitals.?So ..."

"Let's just consider that done for."?And that same semester, I started blogging.?That was 2003.?So as that one dream was ending, another was beginning.?And then what was a cute hobby became my full-time job?when I lost my marketing job in 2010.?But it still took me two more years to say, "I'm a writer."?Nine years after I had started writing, before I said, "I'm a writer,"?because I was afraid of what happens?without 401ks,?without, "How am I going to keep up my shoe habit??That's important to me."

So it took me that long to own this thing?that was what my purpose was.?And then I realized,?fear has a very concrete power?of keeping us from doing and saying the things that are our purpose.?And I was like, "You know what??I'm not going to let fear rule my life.?I'm not going to let fear dictate what I do."?And then all of these awesome things started happening,?and dominoes started to fall.

So when I realized that, I was like, "OK, 2015,?I turned 30,?it's going to be my year of 'Do it anyway.'?Anything that scares me, I'm going to actively pursue it."?So, I'm a Capricorn.?I like my feel solidly on the ground.?I decided to take my first-ever solo vacation,?and it was out of the country to the Dominican Republic.?So on my birthday, what did I do??I went ziplining through the forests of Punta Cana.?And for some odd reason, I had on business casual.?Don't ask why.

And I had an incredible time.?Also, I don't like being submerged in water.?I like to be, again, on solid ground.?So I went to Mexico and swam with dolphins underwater.?And then the cool thing that I did also that year?that was my mountain?was I wrote my book,?"I'm Judging You: The Do-Better Manual,"?And I had to own --

that whole writing thing now, right??Yes.?But the very anti-me thing that I did that year?that scared the crap out of me --?I went skydiving.?We're about to fall out of the plane.?I was like, "I've done some stupid things in life. This is one of them."

And then we come falling down to Earth,?and I literally lose my breath as I see Earth, and I was like,?"I just fell out of a perfectly good plane on purpose."

"What is wrong with me?!"?But then I looked down at the beauty,?and I was like, "This is the best thing I could have done.?This was an amazing decision."?And I think about the times when I have to speak truth.?It feels like I am falling out of that plane.?It feels like that moment when I'm at the edge of the plane,?and I'm like, "You shouldn't do this,"?but then I do it anyway, because I realize I have to.?Sitting at the edge of that plane?and kind of staying on that plane is comfort to me.?And I feel like every day that I'm speaking truth?against institutions and people who are bigger than me?and just forces that are more powerful than me,?I feel like I'm falling out of that plane.?But I realize comfort is overrated.?Because being quiet is comfortable.?Keeping things the way they've been is comfortable.?And all comfort has done is maintain the status quo.?So we've got to get comfortable with being uncomfortable?by speaking these hard truths when they're necessary.?And I --

And for me, though, I realize that I have to speak these truths,?because honesty is so important to me.?My integrity is something I hold dear.?Justice -- I don't think justice should be an option.?We should always have justice.?Also, I believe in shea butter as a core value, and --

and I think the world would be better if we were more moisturized.?But besides that, with these as my core values,?I have to speak the truth.?I have no other choice in the matter.

But people like me, the professional troublemakers,?should not be the only ones who are committed to being these dominoes?who are always falling out of planes?or being the first one to take this hit.?People are so afraid of these acute consequences,?not realizing that there are many times when we walk in rooms?and we are some of the most powerful people in those rooms --?we might be the second-most powerful, third-most powerful.?And I firmly believe that our job in those times?is to disrupt what is happening.?And then if we're not the most powerful,?if two more of us band together,?it makes us powerful.?It's like cosigning the woman in the meeting,?you know, the woman who can't seem to get her word out,?or just making sure that other person who can't make a point?is being heard.?Our job is to make sure they have room for that.?Everyone's well-being is community business.?If we made that a point, we'd understand that,?for the times when we need help,?we wouldn't have to look around so hard?if we made sure we were somebody else's help.

And there are times when I feel like?I have taken very public tumbles and falls,?like the time when I was asked to speak at a conference,?and they wanted me to pay my way there.?And then I did some research?and found out the white men who spoke there got compensated?and got their travel paid for.?The white women who spoke there got their travel paid for.?The black women who spoke there were expected to actually pay to speak there.?And I was like, "What do I do?"?And I knew that if I spoke up about this publicly,?I could face financial loss.?But then I also understood that my silence serves no one.?So I fearfully spoke up about it publicly,?and other women started coming out to talk about,?"I, too, have faced this type of pay inequality."?And it started a conversation about discriminatory pay practices?that this conference was participating in.

I felt like I was the domino?the time I read a disturbing memoir by a public figure?and wrote a piece about it.?I knew this person was more powerful than me and could impact my career,?but I was like, "I've got to do this.?I've got to sit at the edge of this plane," maybe for two hours.?And I did. And I pressed "Publish," and I ran away.

And I came back to a viral post?and people being like, "Oh my God, I'm so glad somebody finally said this."?And it started a conversation?about mental health and self-care,?and I was like, "OK. Alright.?This thing that I'm doing, I guess, alright, it's doing something."

And then so many people have been the domino?when they talk about how they've been assaulted by powerful men.?And it's made millions of women join in and say, "Me Too."?So, a shout-out to Tarana Burke for igniting that movement.

People and systems count on our silence to keep us exactly where we are.?Now, being the domino sometimes comes down to being exactly who you are.?So, I've been a shady somebody since I was three.

This is me on my third birthday.?But I've been this girl all my life,?and I feel like even that's been the domino,?because in a world that wants us to walk around?as representatives of ourselves,?being yourself can be a revolutionary act.?And in a world that wants us to whisper,?I choose to yell.

When it's time to say these hard things,?I ask myself three things.?One: Did you mean it??Two: Can you defend it??Three: Did you say it with love??If the answer is yes to all three,?I say it and let the chips fall.?That's important.?That checkpoint with myself?always tells me, "Yes, you're supposed to do this."?Telling the truth -- telling thoughtful truths --?should not be a revolutionary act.?Speaking truths to power should not be sacrificial, but they are.?But I think if more of us chose to do this for the greater good,?we'd be in better spaces than we are right now.

Speaking of the greater good,?I think we commit ourselves to telling truths to build bridges?to common ground,?and bridges that aren't based on truth will collapse.?So it is our job,?it is our obligation, it is our duty?to speak truth to power, to be the domino,?not just when it's difficult --?especially when it's difficult.

Thank you.