Isit possible to keep a panda as a pet?

有可能養(yǎng)一只熊貓作為寵物嗎?

評論翻譯

原創(chuàng)翻譯：龍騰網 http://www.ltaaa.com ?轉載請注明出處


AmandaSmith, former teacher
I guess the firstthing you should know is that China owns all pandas on earth. The pandas yousee in zoos of other countries are all lent from China and only for a certainperiod of time.

首先你應該知道的是，中國擁有地球上所有的熊貓。你在其他國家動物園看到的大熊貓都是從中國借出的，而且只借出一段時間。

Thecost of having pandas in those countries is stunning. The Chinese governmentcharges 100 million RMB per year, let alone the high spending of keeping apanda. You have to build bamboo forest and hire panda experts so that thepandas can survive.

這些國家養(yǎng)大熊貓的成本是驚人的。中國政府每年要收取1億元人民幣的費用，更不用說養(yǎng)熊貓的高額開支了。你必須建造竹林，聘請熊貓專家，這樣熊貓才能生存。

Whenit comes to the mating season, the giant panda will paint secretions of theperianal gland on the post, the stump, the wall, etc. When come back home fromoutside, be ready to be welcomed bu those strange flavors.

到了交配季節(jié)，大熊貓會把肛周腺的分泌物涂在柱子上、樹樁上、墻壁上等地方。當大熊貓從外面回來的時候，準備好迎接那些奇怪的味道吧。

Soit may be a good idea to just have a look at this cute animal from time totime.

所以最好還是偶爾看看這個可愛的動物。

Sawthe picture? Not very pleasing jaws either huh? The jawbones and molars ofPandas are really strong, so that they can crush the bamboo in their mouths.Take out a second, and imagine, how effective would they be on bone and flesh?Quite a scary thought, nonetheless, all that glitters isn't gold, and thepandas, in the end, might not be so friendly and adorable after all.

看到照片了嗎？不是很討人喜歡的下顎。大熊貓的頜骨和臼齒非常強壯，所以它們可以把嘴里的竹子壓碎。花一秒鐘，想象一下，它們對骨骼和肉體有多大的作用？另外，還是有一個相當可怕的想法，熊貓有時可能不會那么友好和可愛。

Moreover,Pandas generally like to live in solitary confinement. This is pretty much thereason why you will never find a group, or a herd of pandas ever. They don'tlike company from their own crowd, so would they like you? If I were you, I'dreckon they wouldn't!!

此外，熊貓一般喜歡單獨監(jiān)禁。這就是你永遠找不到一群熊貓的原因。他們不喜歡自己的同伴，所以你覺得他們會喜歡你嗎?如果我是你，我想他們不會的!!

I’dneed to grow a hundred acres or so of bamboo forest. I could do that in theMississippi delta. My mom grew up there and we used to take summer vacationsthere and bamboo grows wild there. It would take a few years to get a healthyforest, but bamboo grows fast. I’d also want a plant geneticist to hybridizethe bamboo strain that Pandas like best with another strain that’s easier todigest. Pandas don’t digest bamboo very well, so they spend most of the dayeating. And produce 60–90 pounds of poop per day. (Hybridizing was anotherteam’s project. They won for best project at our tournament. Really cool idea.)

我需要種100英畝左右的竹林。我可以選擇種植在密西西比三角洲。我媽媽在那里長大，我們經常在那里度暑假，那里的竹子長得很茂盛。要得到一片健康的森林需要幾年時間，但竹子生長得很快。我還想讓植物遺傳學家把熊貓最喜歡的竹子和另一種更容易消化的竹子雜交。熊貓不能很好地消化竹子，所以它們每天大部分時間都在吃，并且每天產生60-90磅的糞便。

And,as Mercedes Lackey always says, you need a vet within 45 minutes. So I’d haveto go back to school, get a degree in biology, get admitted to veterinaryschool, and become a veterinarian. Figure 6 years for all that.

MercedesLackey總是說，你需要在45分鐘內找到獸醫(yī)。所以我必須回到學校，獲得生物學學位，進入獸醫(yī)學校，成為一名獸醫(yī)。完成這些需要6年。

OnceI had my Giant Panda, I know I could play with him. When they are being raisedin sanctuaries, the trainers don’t want them to become comfortable aroundhumans. so the trainers always dress in Panda suits, and soak themselves inPanda pee. It would be totally worth it to play with a Giant Panda. I guess Ibetter get at least 2.

一旦我有了我的大熊貓，我可以和他玩。當它們在保護基地被養(yǎng)大時，飼養(yǎng)員不希望它們在這里生活過于舒適。所以訓練員總是穿著熊貓?zhí)籽b，泡在熊貓尿里。和大熊貓一起玩是完全值得的。我希望至少我能有兩只熊貓。

MercedesR. Lackey, Owned by 12 parrots, a Starling, 4 Cats, 6 Peafowl.
OriginallyAnswered: What do I need to do to keep a Giant Panda as a pet?
Youknew I would spot this one, didn’t you? :P
(Folks,this one is facetious. So have a good time with it.)

伙計們，接下來的會很有趣，所以享受它吧。

First,you need to be a Super Villain. Since Giant Pandas are heavily protected, onlya Super Villain would be able to either (a) steal one from a zoo or (b) poachone from the wild.

首先，你需要成為一個超級惡棍。由于大熊貓受到嚴格的保護，只有超級惡棍才能(a)從動物園偷一只或(b)從野外偷獵一只。

Althoughthis is not strictly necessary, since Pandas are not entirely a solitaryspecies, and anyway Baby Pandas are the most kawai things in the universe andyou’ll probably want to have some on hand at all times, you’ll want a CloningChamber. This will allow you to continually replace your Giant Panda at will.

雖然這不完全是必要的，因為熊貓并不完全是一個孤立的物種，而且無論如何，熊貓寶寶是宇宙中最可愛的事物，你可能隨時都想擁有它，那你就需要一個克隆室。這樣你就可以隨心所欲地擁有你的大熊貓了。

Alternatively….

另外….

Youwould want the Private Island and the Cloning Chamber, and not have to gothrough the Great Panda Heist. You could, without fear, get cell samples fromevery captive Giant Panda known, using your Loyal Henchmen and forgedscientific credentials. Then you could clone yourself an entire zoo full ofGiant Pandas. While this act might seem to put your status as a Super Villainat risk—after all, by doing so, you would be preserving the species againstaccident or a Panda Plague—you can retain your status by never allowing anyoneelse to enjoy your Panda Paradise, seeing and cuddling adorable baby Pandas, oreven allowing anyone but the Panda Keepers and you inside it. And those, youwill have rendered mute and illiterate in order to keep Panda Paradise asecret, which is, after all, the proper Super Villain thing to do.

你想要私人島嶼和克隆室，而不必去搶劫大熊貓。你可以毫無畏懼地使用你忠誠的同伴和偽造的科學證書，從每只已知的圈養(yǎng)大熊貓身上獲取細胞樣本。然后你就可以克隆出一整個動物園的大熊貓。盡管這一行為可能會使你作為超級惡棍的地位受到威脅，但通過這樣做，你將保護這個物種免受意外或熊貓瘟疫的侵害，你可以不允許任何人分享你的熊貓?zhí)焯?，任何人（除了熊貓飼養(yǎng)員和你）都不可以看到和擁抱可愛的熊貓寶寶，而你會變成啞巴和文盲，以保護熊貓樂園的秘密，這畢竟是超級惡棍應該做的事。