聲明：部分“伏筆”受到IAI?English公眾號溫州二模讀后續(xù)寫解析啟發(fā)

：

拯救的究竟是他人，還是自我的救贖？

驚訝地發(fā)現(xiàn)，這篇《拯救鱒魚》竟然曾在2018年8月時刊登于

可可英語

網(wǎng)站里，名為：《隧道里的鱒魚》

原文章見下方鏈接：

英語PK臺(MP3+文本) 第781期:《隧道里的鱒魚》探險自己的人生

http://kekenet.com/Article/201808/562798.shtml

One of the first places Julia always ran to when they arrived at their vacation house in Galway was the tunnel. It was a dark, moist tunnel made of smooth branches. She always enjoyed running through the darkness of the tunnel towards the light at the end of it. It felt like a trip through a haunted house at a fun fair to her.每次茱莉婭和家人一起來到位于戈爾韋的度假屋時，第一個要去的地方肯定是隧道。那條隧道由光滑的枝條結(jié)枝而成，陰暗潮濕。她總是非常享受穿過漆黑的隧道抵達另一頭重獲光明的過程。對于她，這就像在游樂場鬼屋里的冒險經(jīng)歷。

溫州二模讀后續(xù)寫原題：

第二節(jié) 讀后續(xù)寫（滿分25分）

閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。

Julia always enjoyed running through The Dark Walk towards the light at the end of it. It was a dark, damp tunnel (隧道) made of smooth branches. This year she had the extra joy of showing it to her small brother, Stephen, and terrifying him as well as herself.

One day they found a hole on one side of the walk. Inside there was water, in which they perceived a panting trout (喘息的鱒魚). They were both so excited that they were no longer afraid of the darkness as they bent down and peered at the fish panting in his tiny prison, his silver stomach going up and down like an engine; otherwise he was motionless. Julia wondered what he ate and thought of his hunger. She found him a worm. He ignored the food, and just went on panting. Bending over him, she thought how he had been in there. All the winter, in the dark tunnel, all day, all night, floating around alone.

Nobody knew how the fish got there. Her mother suggested that a bird had carried the egg. Her father thought that in the winter a small stream might have carried it down there as a baby, and it has been safe until summer came and the water began to dry up.

Before they went to bed, Stephen asked his mummy the whole story of the trout, not really interested in the actual trout, but in the story which his mum began to make up for him, and Julia, in her bed, presented her back to them and read her book. But she kept one ear cocked. “And so, in the end, this naughty fish got bigger and bigger, and the water got smaller and smaller...” Passionately, she turned around and cried, “Mummy, don’t make it a horrible old moral story.” Her mom even brought in a fairy (仙子), who had made it rain and filled the hole, so that the trout could float away down to the river below. Staring at the moon she knew there was no such thing as a fairy and that trout, down in the tunnel, was panting for his life.

注意：

1．續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右；

2．請按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。

She sat up in the silent night and Stephan was sound asleep.

????????????????????????????????????

Julia poured the trout out of the pot into the river.?

??????????????????????????????????????????

與其說是解析，其實是今天在文科+理科班講課文字版實錄：

上課

解析：

來，同學們，我們今天看一篇《人與動物》：

劃重點：（并不全是這樣，只是為了吸引學生注意力）

（1）遇到大動物

（你打不過的）

---拔腿咱就跑

（2）遇到小動物

（你打得過的）

---和它做朋友

Julia always enjoyed?

run

ning?

through?

The?

Dark

?Walk?

to

wards the?

light

?at the end of it. It was a dark, damp tunnel (隧道) made of smooth branches. This year she had the extra joy of showing it to her small brother, Stephen, and?

terrifying

?him as well as?

herself.

Julia特喜歡

穿越"黑暗

的路”去

尋找光

明

through

?The

?Dark

?Walk

?to

wards?the?

light

，（黑夜給了我黑色的眼睛,我卻用它尋找光明--顧城《一代人》），今年，她帶上她的弟弟一起去黑暗隧道，既能

嚇著她自己

，也能嚇著傻弟弟。

注意：伏筆

黑暗--光明？究竟是什么？?

隧道的黑-----盡頭的光

“人生”暫時的黑----“脫困”后的光

One day they found a?

hole

?on one side of the

?walk

. Inside there was?

water

, in which they perceived?

a panting trout

?(喘息的鱒魚). They were both so?

excited

?that they were?

no longer afraid?

of the?

darkness

?as they?

bent down and peered

?at the fish panting in his tiny

?prison

, his silver stomach going up and down?

like an engine

; otherwise he was?

motionless.?

Julia wondered what he ate and thought of his hunger. She found him a worm. He ignored the food, and?

just went on panting

. Bending over him, she thought?

how he had been in there

. All the winter, in the dark tunnel, all day, all night,

?floating around alone

. 有一天，姐弟倆在黑暗隧道里，發(fā)現(xiàn)一個坑，坑里有點水，水里有只喘息的鱒魚（），姐弟倆瞬間被這倒霉魚吸引住了，甚至忘記了黑暗帶來的恐懼。姐弟倆彎身，盯著魚兒看。魚兒肚子一脹一憋，像機器一樣呼吸，要么就呆著不動。姐姐就想這魚兒是怎么來的呢？？（長長的黑暗隧道，魚兒還能是自己走進來，跳進這小坑里？）整個冬天，日日夜夜，孤獨的小魚兒就在坑里漂著。

注意：

看到這段，腦子炸了一下：

這條喘息的魚是什么？

就是魚

被生活困住”的人生

進入4月沖刺期，迷茫焦灼的高三考生

脫不下”孔乙己的長衫“的人(prison囚籠）

像機器/引擎一樣呼吸的魚-----”行尸走肉？（有的人活著他已經(jīng)死了--臧克家的詩《有的人》）

伏筆：

看到魚兒，

忘記黑暗恐懼

的姐弟-----續(xù)寫第一段為了救魚

克服恐懼

的姐姐

彎腰

看”熱鬧“的姐姐------為了救魚兒

跪著/趴著

的姐姐

像機器/引擎一樣呼吸的魚-----救魚兒時拼命lash拍打尾巴（從麻木--到奮發(fā)自救）的蘇醒

Nobody knew?

how the fish got there.

?Her mother suggested that a bird had carried the egg. Her father thought that in the winter a small?

stream

?might have carried it down there as a baby, and it has been safe until summer came and the water began to dry up. 回家后，父母得知鱒魚后進行的猜測（魚兒是如何進入坑里的）

冬天小溪帶進魚，夏天干涸魚被困（這真的不是氣候變暖產(chǎn)生影響的環(huán)保類文章？？？？）

沒人知道魚兒是怎么進入隧道的？

所以這像不像高中生在高一--高二--高三過程中，有些同學“跟不上”進度了，“落在了”黑暗中，而同學們已經(jīng)往前走了很遠，只留下他一個人？？

Before they went to bed,?

Stephen

?asked his mummy the whole story of the trout,?

not really interested in

?the actual trout, but in the story which his mum began to?

make up

?for him,? 睡前弟弟Stephen讓媽媽講故事，媽媽開始編造鱒魚的故事

伏筆

not really interested in the actual trout弟弟其實不關(guān)心真的魚（黑暗--未啟蒙）

and Julia, in her bed,?

presented her back

?to them and read her book. But she kept one ear cocked. “And so, in the end, this naughty fish got bigger and bigger, and the water got smaller and smaller...” Passionately, she turned around and

?cried,

?“Mummy, don’t make it

?a horrible old moral story

.” Her mom even brought in?

a fairy (仙子)

, who had made it rain and filled the hole, so that the trout could float away down to the river below.?

伏筆

姐姐Julia【背對著母子】：?后背是dark,臉是Light,身后兩人是“局外人”，姐姐勇敢face"困境”解救鱒魚，獲得light

姐姐聽到媽媽編故事：

哭了，（真性情、真覺醒

）：“別再編造哪些《心靈雞湯》了”：（小仙子來了，下雨吧，下雨了，魚兒得救了）

Staring at the moon she knew there was?

no

?such thing as a

?fairy

?and that trout, down in the tunnel,

?was panting for his life.

伏筆

盯著月亮（也是一種光），姐姐知道：仙子是沒有的，魚兒只能呆在隧道里，茍延殘喘。

續(xù)寫第二段：姐姐救了魚兒---說也許真得是小仙子救了魚兒吧

官方范文：

She sat up in the silent night and Stephan was sound asleep. She tiptoed out, quietly lifted a large pot of water and ran to the opening of the tunnel. Inside was complete darkness! Scared but determined, she raced in, knelt down by the hole, and put her hand into it. The trout lashed and they were both mad with fright. Still she managed to shove him into the pot and raced out of the tunnel and down the steep paths. All the way his tail was lashing against the pot. Finally, she reached the riverbank. (85 words)

Julia poured the trout out of the pot into the river. For the first seconds the somewhat dizzy creature was still visible in the water. Then all she saw was the faint light of the moon in the silent-flowing river. In relief, she trotted back home, dropped down the pot, and flew through the air like a bird into bed. Soon she fell asleep, satisfied and peaceful. The next morning Stephen rushed to her, shouting that “he” was gone and asking “where” and “how”. Lifting her nose in the air, she proudly laughed, “A fairy, I suppose?” (87 words)

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