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This Trick DESTROYS FEAR In Seconds...?

講者：Marisa Peer?

Because there's no magnet, that's your mind. How powerful your mind is. I would really love it if they'd teach this stuff in school because once you know how powerful your mind is, now it's your fault. Before you can say, "I didn't know better. It's not my fault. I describe myself as an idiot." No, you know better. And it is your fault. So, you're not allowed to do that anymore. No more diminishing yourself.

因?yàn)闆](méi)有磁鐵，那是你的思想。你的思想有多么強(qiáng)大。我真的很希望學(xué)校能教這些東西，因?yàn)橐坏┠阒滥愕乃枷胗卸鄰?qiáng)大，那就是你的錯(cuò)了。在你說(shuō)“我不知道該怎么做。這不是我的錯(cuò)。我形容自己是個(gè)白癡”之前，不，你知道的，這是你的錯(cuò)。所以，你不能再這么做了。不要再貶低自己了。

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So, let's just do one more. You can all see that lemon, can't you? Put your hand in front of your mouth, just like that. Close your eyes. And I want you to imagine that you're holding half of a big, fat, juicy lemon.It smells like the most best lemon smell ever. You can feel that great lemony waxy?thing, and you can?inhale?it, and you can really feel this juicy lemon.

我們?cè)僮鲆粋€(gè)。你們都能看到那個(gè)檸檬，對(duì)吧?把你的手放在嘴前，就像這樣。閉上眼睛。我想讓你想象你拿著半個(gè)又大又肥又多汁的檸檬。聞起來(lái)像史上最棒的檸檬味。你可以感覺(jué)到超棒的檸檬的蠟質(zhì)，你可以吸入它，你可以真正感受到這個(gè)多汁的檸檬。

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Now open your mouth and cram?that lemon in there, shove?it in, and start sucking it, and biting it, and chewing it, and just go to work on that lemon. And, of course, what's going to happen, or what's happening, is that your mouth is filling up with saliva?right now to a thought.

現(xiàn)在張開(kāi)嘴，把檸檬塞進(jìn)去，塞進(jìn)去，開(kāi)始吸它、咬它、嚼它，就這樣吃檸檬。而且，當(dāng)然，即將發(fā)生或正在發(fā)生的事情是，你的嘴巴現(xiàn)在正因一個(gè)想法而充滿唾液。

And open your eyes.?Thoughts are things.?Whatever you think, your body agrees.The mind says, "Yes," the body says, "Yes." It doesn't really work the other way around. So, you've got to say, "Yes," to better stuff.

睜開(kāi)你的眼睛。想法很重要。無(wú)論你怎么想，你的身體都會(huì)同意。頭腦說(shuō)，“是”，身體說(shuō)，“是”。反過(guò)來(lái)就行不通了。所以，你必須對(duì)更好的東西說(shuō)“是”。

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So, how many of you do this? I've just got a new PA. She's amazing. But every time I went, she said, "Oh my God, I wanted to die when I got the job with you. "Oh, this boy just asked me out, I want to die." And I'm like, "I don't think that is going to work out until you stop using that word." So, who says, "It's hell in Tesco's. "It's a nightmare on the M25. "My commute is killing me"? Put your hand up if you use any of those words, or ever have in your lifetime.

你們中有多少人這樣做過(guò)?我剛有了一個(gè)新的私人助理。她是驚人的。但每次我去，她都說(shuō):“天哪，當(dāng)我得到你的工作時(shí)，我真想死?！薄芭叮@個(gè)男孩剛剛約我出去，我想死?！蔽艺f(shuō)，“我不認(rèn)為這行得通，除非你不再用那個(gè)詞?！彼?，誰(shuí)說(shuō):“Tesco’s簡(jiǎn)直就是地獄?！薄霸贛25公路上是一場(chǎng)噩夢(mèng)?！拔业耐ㄇ诳彀盐依鬯懒恕?如果你用過(guò)這些詞，或者曾經(jīng)用過(guò)這些詞，請(qǐng)舉手。

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Sure. And you have to change that and just go, "Well, it's a challenge in the traffic, it's a little bit boring being in Tesco's, but it's not hell." Because you respond to the picture.

當(dāng)然。 你必須改變它，然后說(shuō)，“嗯，這是交通方面的挑戰(zhàn)，在 Tesco's 有點(diǎn)無(wú)聊，但這不是地獄?！?因?yàn)槟銜?huì)對(duì)畫(huà)面作出反應(yīng)。

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So, let's go straight on to step two because it figures in very well. The first thing about your brain, does exactly what it thinks you want it to do, what it thinks is in your best interest, and what you told it years and years ago. And it's up to you to change that and go, "Yeah, you know, I didn't want to draw attention to myself when I was 12, but now I'm like 52 and I really want to draw attention to myself.I want to have a great business. I want to ask for a pay rise. I deserve it. I'm worth it. I matter. I'm significant." Because the second thing about the brain is, and this is really interesting, it responds to two things. Only two things, there's nothing else.

所以，讓我們直接進(jìn)入第二步，因?yàn)樗浅＿m合。關(guān)于你的大腦的第一件事，就是它做它認(rèn)為你想讓它做的事情，它認(rèn)為對(duì)你最有利的事情，以及你多年前告訴它的事情。改變這種情況取決于你，“是的，你知道，我12歲時(shí)不想引起人們的注意，但現(xiàn)在我已經(jīng)52歲了，我真的很想引起人們對(duì)自己的注意。我想有一個(gè)偉大的事業(yè)。我想要求加薪。我應(yīng)得的。我是值得的。我很重要。我很重要。" 因?yàn)殛P(guān)于大腦的第二件事是，這真的很有趣，它對(duì)兩件事作出反應(yīng)。只有兩件事情，沒(méi)有別的。

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It responds to the pictures you make in your head and the words you say to yourself. So, a patient rang me up last year and went, "Could you help me? I can't merge." And I'm like, "What does that mean?" He goes, "I can't merge. I can't merge." He goes, "I've got these companies all over England. I have to drive from London to Manchester, Manchester to Edinburgh, and I have to go on all the A-roads, B-roads, because I can't merge on a?motorway. But now I've got to give people lifts.

它會(huì)對(duì)你腦海中的畫(huà)面和你對(duì)自己說(shuō)的話做出反應(yīng)。去年，一個(gè)病人打電話給我說(shuō):“你能幫我嗎?我不能合并。”我說(shuō)，“這是什么意思?”他說(shuō)，“我不能合并。我不能合并?！彼f(shuō):“我在英國(guó)各地都有這樣的公司。我必須從倫敦開(kāi)車(chē)到曼徹斯特，從曼徹斯特開(kāi)車(chē)到愛(ài)丁堡，我必須走所有的A路，B路，因?yàn)槲也荒茉诟咚俟飞喜⒕€。但現(xiàn)在我得讓人搭便車(chē)。

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And I can't tell them I can't merge. I'm like, "Oh, come in, you'll be merging 24 hours, "it's fine." But, as it happened, I had to drive to Manchester with my husband. And we were driving back really early in the morning, it was still dark, and it was raining really badly. And I had to overtake?a juggernaut, and I was thinking about my client, thinking, "Wow, what that must be like, not to merge."

我不能告訴他們我不能合并。我說(shuō)，“哦，進(jìn)來(lái)吧，你24小時(shí)都將處在并線中?！薄皼](méi)關(guān)系?！钡?，碰巧的是，我不得不和丈夫一起開(kāi)車(chē)去曼徹斯特。我們一大早就開(kāi)車(chē)回來(lái)了，天還很黑，雨下得很大。我必須超越一個(gè)龐然大物，我在考慮我的客戶(hù)，想，“哇，那是什么感覺(jué)，不并線?！?/p>

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And I just thought about it, I thought, "Oh my God, I can't merge. I'm halfway past this lorry and I have forgotten how to merge," because I'm thinking his thoughts and seeing his images. And I had to very quickly stop and go, "Come on, you know how to merge. You put your foot down, you follow the?curve?of the road, “and you say, 'I can do it.'" And then I got back into the inside lane and I thought, "I could wake my husband up and say,'Baby, you've got to drive now because I can't merge.'" But I thought, "This is silly, of course I can merge." But, you know, when you take on someone else's words and thoughts, you start to feel like them.

而我只是想了想，我想，"哦，我的上帝，我不能并線。我在經(jīng)過(guò)這輛卡車(chē)的一半時(shí)，我已經(jīng)忘記了如何并線。"因?yàn)槲以谙胨南敕?，看他的?huà)面。我不得不非常迅速地停下來(lái)，說(shuō)："來(lái)吧，你知道如何并線。你把你的腳放下，你沿著道路的曲線走，"你說(shuō)，'我可以做到'"。然后我回到內(nèi)側(cè)車(chē)道，我想，"我可以叫醒我丈夫，說(shuō)，'寶貝，你現(xiàn)在得開(kāi)車(chē)了，因?yàn)槲也荒懿⒕€'。" 但我想，"這太傻了，我當(dāng)然可以并線。" 但是，你知道，當(dāng)你接受了別人的話語(yǔ)和想法，你就開(kāi)始覺(jué)得自己像他們。

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So, I'm flying to Spain to see a client and I'm in the queue to get on the plane. And this woman is crying hysterically, her husband is begging and pleading, "Come on, babe, get on the plane.They're going to..." And the staff go, "Well, she's not getting on the plane and we're taking off her luggage because she's not getting on the plane like that."

所以，我飛往西班牙去見(jiàn)一個(gè)客戶(hù)，我在排隊(duì)上飛機(jī)。這個(gè)女人歇斯底里地哭著，她的丈夫在哀求，"來(lái)吧，寶貝，上飛機(jī)吧，他們要......" 工作人員說(shuō)："好吧，她不能上飛機(jī)，我們要把她的行李拿下來(lái)，因?yàn)樗荒芟襁@樣上飛機(jī)。"

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And I'm like, "Oh no, it's going to be a disaster. I'll help her out." I would have helped her and I said, "What is the matter?" She said, "I can't get on the plane." I'm like, "Why not?" And she went, "Well, look at it. That looks like a flying coffin. And I'm scared that if I get on, I'll never get off." And I'm like, "Oh, right. Well, you know, that would make anyone scared,calling a plane a 'Flying coffin.' You could call it a flying sofa, maybe.But, 'Flying coffin,' that's not a great word.”

我想，"哦，不，這將是一場(chǎng)災(zāi)難。我會(huì)幫助她的"。我會(huì)幫助她，我說(shuō)，"怎么了？" 她說(shuō)，"我不能上飛機(jī)"。我說(shuō)，"為什么不能？" 她說(shuō)："嗯，看看它，那看起來(lái)像一個(gè)飛翔的棺材。我很害怕，如果我上了飛機(jī)，我就再也下不來(lái)了。" 我就說(shuō)："哦，對(duì)。好吧，你知道，稱(chēng)飛機(jī)為'飛行棺材'會(huì)讓任何人感到害怕。也許，你可以叫它飛行沙發(fā)。但是，'飛行棺材'，這不是一個(gè)好詞?！?/p>

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And so, I asked her a few questions and said, "You know, what did you do yesterday?" And she looked at me. I said, "I know what you did." She said, "What?" I said, "You did all your laundry, didn't you?" She went, "How did you know?" And I said, "Because people who think they're going to die, tidy up their house." She goes, "Yes, I always do that before I go on a plane, and then I usually can't get on it."

于是，我問(wèn)了她幾個(gè)問(wèn)題，然后說(shuō):“你知道，你昨天做了什么?”她看著我。我說(shuō)"我知道你做了什么"她說(shuō):“什么?”我說(shuō):“你洗了所有的衣服，是嗎?”她問(wèn):“你怎么知道的?”我說(shuō):“因?yàn)槟切┱J(rèn)為自己會(huì)死的人，會(huì)整理他們的房子?！彼f(shuō):“是的，我在上飛機(jī)前總是這樣做，然后我通常上不了飛機(jī)?！?/p>

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I said, "Look, you don't even have a fear of flying. You have a fear of not being in control, but I'm going to fix it.” So, I was telling her this story, that I took my daughter to Disneyland, and I thought we were going on a little ride that went like that, and it actually went like that, and like that, and my brain was being thrown around my skull.

我說(shuō)，“看，你甚至都不害怕飛行。你害怕失去控制，但我會(huì)解決的?！彼?，我給她講了這個(gè)故事，我?guī)遗畠喝サ纤鼓針?lè)園，我以為我們要坐這樣的小過(guò)山車(chē)，但實(shí)際上是這樣的，這樣的，我的大腦被拋到我的頭骨周?chē)?/p>

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My daughter was screaming because she hated it. And I thought, "Well, I could scream too, but that not going to help her." So, I started going, "Oh, yay, this is fantastic. I love this, this amazing." I really didn't. I can't tell you how much I didn't, but it confused my brain. And then it confused her brain and she's just going,"Yay, I like it too." And when we got back, she said, "Did you like that, Mommy?" I'm like, "No.?But I wanted to confuse myself." She goes, "Oh, Mommy, you confused me. Because I thought you loved it."

我女兒在尖叫，因?yàn)樗憛掃@樣。我想，"好吧，我也可以尖叫，但這對(duì)她沒(méi)有幫助。" 所以，我開(kāi)始說(shuō)："哦，耶，這太棒了。我喜歡這個(gè)，這太神奇了。" 我真的沒(méi)有。我無(wú)法告訴你我有多不喜歡，但它迷惑了我的大腦。然后它迷惑了她的大腦，她就說(shuō)，"耶，我也喜歡。" 當(dāng)我們回來(lái)時(shí)，她說(shuō)，"你喜歡嗎，媽媽?zhuān)?#34; 我就說(shuō)，"不喜歡。但我想迷惑自己。" 她說(shuō)，"哦，媽媽?zhuān)惆盐遗苛?。因?yàn)槲乙詾槟阆矚g它。"

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So, I'm telling this woman this story, going, "Okay, we're going to go on the plane. I'm going to hold your hand and we're going to pretend we're in Disneyland.We're going to go, 'I love?this,' as the plane takes off. We're going to go, 'Yay, this is great.'" So, I explained to her a lot of things.We got on the plane, I held her hand. And as it took off, she looked at me and went,"Oh my God, this is like, why is it this easy?" I'm like, "Because it is this easy."

所以，我給這位女士講了這個(gè)故事，“好吧，我們要上飛機(jī)了。我要牽著你的手，假裝我們?cè)诘纤鼓針?lè)園。當(dāng)飛機(jī)起飛時(shí)，我們會(huì)說(shuō)，‘我喜歡這個(gè)’。我們會(huì)說(shuō)，‘耶，這太棒了?！庇谑?，我向她解釋了很多事情。我們上了飛機(jī)，我握著她的手。當(dāng)它起飛時(shí)，她看著我說(shuō)，“哦，我的天哪，這就像，為什么這么簡(jiǎn)單?”我說(shuō)："因?yàn)樗褪沁@么簡(jiǎn)單。"

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Your brain responds to two things. The pictures you make and the words. And when you go, "Yay, this is fantastic." You have a different reaction. And she said, "So, should I lie to myself?" I'm like, "Absolutely, all the time, 100%. You should lie to yourself, and lie." Because, you know, we think we're so smart. We think we've evolved. But, you know, when you go up to the top of The Shard, I went up to the top of The Shard, I went to the edge, And I had to do that, and walk around it. And I wasn't remotely scared, but my body was going,"Get away from the edge." Because its job is to move you away from pain.

你的大腦對(duì)兩件事有反應(yīng)。你想到的畫(huà)面和你說(shuō)的話。當(dāng)你說(shuō)，“耶，這太棒了?！蹦銜?huì)有不同的反應(yīng)。她說(shuō):“那么，我應(yīng)該對(duì)自己撒謊嗎?”我說(shuō)，“絕對(duì)，一直都是，百分之百。你應(yīng)該對(duì)自己撒謊，騙自己。”因?yàn)?，你知道，我們覺(jué)得自己很聰明。我們認(rèn)為我們已經(jīng)進(jìn)化了。但是，你知道，當(dāng)你登上倫敦碎片大廈的頂端，我登上了大廈的頂端，我走到邊緣，我必須那樣做，繞著它走。我一點(diǎn)也不害怕，但我的身體在告訴我:“離懸崖遠(yuǎn)點(diǎn)?！币?yàn)樗淖饔檬亲屇氵h(yuǎn)離痛苦。

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So, you respond to the pictures you make in your head and the words you say to yourself. So, here's a thought, anyone here not having the most amazing success at being on a healthy diet? Anyone failing to avoid pizza, and chocolate, and ice cream, and Ben and Jerry's, and not finding themselves going for run at six o'clock every morning?

所以，你會(huì)對(duì)你腦海中的畫(huà)面和你對(duì)自己說(shuō)的話做出反應(yīng)。所以，這里有個(gè)想法，這里有人沒(méi)有在健康飲食方面取得最驚人的成功嗎？有誰(shuí)沒(méi)能避免吃披薩、巧克力、冰激凌和Ben and Jerry's（冰淇淋），也沒(méi)有發(fā)現(xiàn)自己每天早上六點(diǎn)就去跑步？

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So, this is what happens. You're in a restaurant. Let's pretend this is a menu, and you go,"Oh my God, they have burger, and fries, and pizza. "I love all of that. Oh, it's my favorite. And?apple crumble?with custard, and double chocolate fudge ice cream." And you go, "But I'm on a diet, I'm having the salad." And your brain is going, "Salad? No, no, no, you love all that stuff. Last time you ate it. you went, 'Oh my God, this is better than sex, it's so good.' "And now you're going to deprive yourself of it?"

這就是發(fā)生的事情。你在餐館里。讓我們假設(shè)這是一份菜單，你說(shuō)，“哦，我的天哪，他們有漢堡、薯?xiàng)l和披薩?！拔蚁矚g這一切。哦，這是我的最?lèi)?ài)。還有蘋(píng)果碎配蛋奶沙司，還有雙層巧克力軟糖冰淇淋?！比缓竽阏f(shuō)，“但是我在節(jié)食，我要吃沙拉。”你的大腦會(huì)想:“沙拉?不不不，你喜歡那些東西。上次你吃的時(shí)候。你會(huì)想，‘天哪，這比做愛(ài)還爽，太棒了’，?現(xiàn)在你要?jiǎng)儕Z自己的權(quán)利?”

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And your brain's going, "Eat the pizza, eat the pizza." You go, "No, I'm having salad." And your brain's going, "Salad? When did that ever give you intense pleasure? Don't be silly. Eat the pizza." So, you go, "Okay." Now you think, "Now I feel so bad I ate the pizza." Your brains like, "Eat more, that's why it's called comfort food." Now you go, "Now I've eaten?more pizza, I feel bad." Your brain goes, "Eat some ice cream, have a beer."

你的大腦會(huì)說(shuō):“吃披薩，吃披薩?！蹦阏f(shuō):“不，我要吃沙拉。”你的大腦會(huì)想:“沙拉?它什么時(shí)候給過(guò)你強(qiáng)烈的快感?別傻了。吃披薩。”所以，你說(shuō)，“好吧?！爆F(xiàn)在你會(huì)想，“現(xiàn)在我覺(jué)得吃了披薩很不好意思。”你的大腦會(huì)說(shuō):“多吃點(diǎn)，這就是為什么它被稱(chēng)為安慰食物?！爆F(xiàn)在你說(shuō)，“現(xiàn)在我吃了更多的披薩，我感覺(jué)很糟糕。”你的大腦會(huì)說(shuō):“吃點(diǎn)冰淇淋，喝杯啤酒?！?/p>

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So, this is the wrong way to go. "I love chocolate. I'm never having it again. All my favorite things I'm giving up for New Year.” "I'm never eating ice cream again.I love it, it's yummy.I can't have it."

因此，這是一個(gè)錯(cuò)誤的方法。"我喜歡巧克力。我再也不吃了。所有我喜歡的東西我都要在新年里放棄。" "我再也不吃冰淇淋了。我喜歡它，它很好吃。我不能吃它。"

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And it doesn't help with the way they call it, "Divine," and "Love," and "Celebration," and "Hero," so the way to do it is to go, "Oh, look, they have pizza. "Yeah, I like that but, you know what? I like being a size 10 way more. I like fitting into my jeans way more. And those pizza? I can have that when I'm 96. Right now, I want to look good in my clothes, and, maybe, out of them too."

而且把它們稱(chēng)為“神圣”、“愛(ài)”、“慶?！焙汀坝⑿邸钡姆绞揭矝](méi)有幫助，所以方法是，“哦，看，他們有披薩。“是的，我喜歡那個(gè)，但是，你知道嗎?我更喜歡穿10碼的衣服。我更喜歡穿牛仔褲。那些披薩呢?等我96歲的時(shí)候吃?，F(xiàn)在，我想穿衣服好看，也許不穿衣服也好看。”

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And your brain's like, "You don't want the pizza?" "No, I don't want the pizza. I want to be really fit and healthy. And I've got pizza for the next 50 years, right now I'm choosing the good in my clothes. Because when I'm 95, I'm not going to look good in my underwear no matter how thin I am. That door is shut. And then, I can have lots of pizza."

你的大腦像在說(shuō)，“你不想要披薩？” “不，我不想要披薩。我想要真正健康。未來(lái) 50 年我都有披薩吃，現(xiàn)在我要選擇衣服上的好處。因?yàn)楫?dāng)我95歲時(shí)，無(wú)論我多瘦，穿內(nèi)衣都不好看。那扇門(mén)是關(guān)著的。然后，我就可以吃很多披薩?！?/p>

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And your brain's like, "Oh yeah, I get that.I get that with your language. You've said you could have it. You're choosing not to. It makes you happy not to, it thrills you not to, empowers you not to." And then all resistance goes away because you just changed the pictures.

而你的大腦就像"哦，是的，我明白。我明白你的語(yǔ)言。你已經(jīng)說(shuō)過(guò)你可以擁有它，而你選擇不這樣做。不這樣做讓你很高興，不這樣做讓你興奮，不這樣做賦予你力量。" 然后，所有的阻力都消失了，因?yàn)槟銊倓偢淖兞水?huà)面。

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Instead of thinking, "That cake looks nice." You go, "Yeah, it does look nice, but it doesn't look as nice as I look when I fit into my clothes." So, who here, when you look at this picture,what do you see? So, I'm going to give you four reactions straight away.

而不是想，"這個(gè)蛋糕看起來(lái)不錯(cuò)"。你會(huì)說(shuō)，"是的，它確實(shí)看起來(lái)不錯(cuò)，但它沒(méi)有我穿上衣服時(shí)那么好看。" 那么，在座的各位，當(dāng)你們看這張照片時(shí)，你們看到了什么？所以，我將直接給你四個(gè)反應(yīng)。

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"Oh, that's really painful."

Or, "Yeah, I'm going to get off my head."

Or, "Oh, I'm going to look 10 years younger tomorrow."

Or, "This is going to take away all my pain."

"哦，那真的很痛苦。"

或者，"是啊，我快瘋了。"

或者，"哦，我明天會(huì)看起來(lái)年輕10歲。"

或者，"這將會(huì)帶走我所有的痛苦"。

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You see how you can choose? I mean, I have clients who love doing that to themselves,and they're not street junkies. They're major movie stars who think that's fantastic. I have women who have so much surgery, they love that, too. Because you can choose what that means. You can choose what everything means. You can choose, when you got on a plane, either of those pictures. You can choose what this one means, you know, is that really hell to be in a traffic jam? Well, hell is actually not having a car or any money to run one. Is it hell going shopping? No.

你知道你可以怎么選了嗎？我的意思是，我有一些客戶(hù)喜歡對(duì)自己這樣做，他們不是街頭癮君子，他們是主要的電影明星，他們認(rèn)為這太棒了。我有一些做了很多手術(shù)的婦女，她們也喜歡這樣。因?yàn)槟憧梢赃x擇這意味著什么。你可以選擇每件事的含義。當(dāng)你上了飛機(jī)，你可以選擇這些照片中的任何一張。你可以選擇這個(gè)意味著什么，你知道，在交通堵塞中，這真的是地獄嗎？嗯，地獄實(shí)際上沒(méi)有車(chē)或沒(méi)有錢(qián)去開(kāi)車(chē)。去購(gòu)物是地獄嗎？不是。

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When I was in Cuba, we lost all our luggage. Went to get one, and they went, "We haven't got anything, we haven't got anything.""We don't have any provisions in Cuba.There's nothing to buy." That's hell. Actually, I have to say, it was quite liberating, really. But you can't go to shops and go, "It's hell, it's a nightmare.It's a disaster." Until you go somewhere else and see what it is really like.

我在古巴的時(shí)候，我們的行李都丟了。去買(mǎi)一個(gè)，他們說(shuō)："我們沒(méi)有任何東西，我們沒(méi)有任何東西。""在古巴我們沒(méi)有任何供應(yīng)品。沒(méi)有任何東西可以買(mǎi)。" 那是地獄。事實(shí)上，我不得不說(shuō)，那是相當(dāng)自由的，真的。但你不能去商店，然后說(shuō)，"這是地獄，這是一場(chǎng)噩夢(mèng)，這是一場(chǎng)災(zāi)難。" 除非你去別的地方，看看它到底是什么樣子。

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So, let's come to the very last part of my talk, which is the thing that therapists find the hardest, making what is familiar unfamiliar, and what is unfamiliar familiar. See, your brain loves what is familiar. It really wants to go for what is familiar. And if you want success, you got to make unfamiliar familiar.

所以，讓我們來(lái)看看我演講的最后一部分，這也是治療師認(rèn)為最難的事情，讓熟悉的東西變得不熟悉，而不熟悉的東西變得熟悉。你看，你的大腦喜歡熟悉的東西。它真的想去尋找熟悉的東西。如果你想成功，你就得讓不熟悉的東西變得熟悉。

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Really hard work, applying yourself, but, most of all, extraordinary self belief. That will take you further than anything. So, whatever you haven't got that you'd like, make it familiar. And if there's things that you've got that you don't like, make them unfamiliar.

真正地努力工作，全身心投入，但最重要的是，要有非凡的自我信念。這會(huì)讓你走得更遠(yuǎn)。所以，就算你還沒(méi)有得到想要的東西，讓它變得熟悉。如果有你不喜歡的東西，讓它們變得陌生。

If you lounge around every morning, on a weekend start to go to the gym, that becomes familiar. So, I worked with a lot of women on shows, and we do makeovers, and make them look really pretty, and the minute the cameras stop rolling, they take all the makeup off, put their tracksuit on, and go home.

如果你每天早上閑逛，周末開(kāi)始去健身房，那會(huì)變得很熟悉。我在節(jié)目中和很多女性一起工作，我們進(jìn)行改造，讓她們看起來(lái)非常漂亮，當(dāng)攝像機(jī)一停，她們就卸掉所有的妝，穿上運(yùn)動(dòng)服，然后回家。

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And I worked with one once, and she went, "Yeah, I don't know what you've done to me, but it's really changed. And I met this really nice guy, and he took me out, and he opened doors; he bought me dinner. I don't think I can see him again. He's too good for me." I said, "No, no, no. It's unfamiliar. You know, your dad treat you like sh*t, men that do that are familiar. And now here's a nice guy, and you're going to sit and go,'I'm going to make this familiar,make this familiar, make this familiar.And make the other stuff unfamiliar." And of course it worked.

我曾經(jīng)和一個(gè)人一起工作，她說(shuō)，“我不知道你對(duì)我做了什么，但我真的變了。我遇到了一個(gè)非常好的人，他帶我出去，他給我開(kāi)門(mén)，他請(qǐng)我吃飯。我想我再也見(jiàn)不到他了。他對(duì)我來(lái)說(shuō)太好了。”我說(shuō):“不，不，不。它是不熟悉的。你爸爸把你當(dāng)垃圾一樣對(duì)待，這樣做的男人對(duì)你來(lái)說(shuō)很熟悉?，F(xiàn)在這里有一個(gè)好人，你會(huì)坐下來(lái)說(shuō)，’我要讓這個(gè)變得熟悉，讓這個(gè)變得熟悉，讓這個(gè)變得熟悉。讓其他東西變得陌生。’”當(dāng)然，它起作用了。

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And here's the thing that I find the most interesting, people who've never had praise, that is so unfair, if you say to them, "I love that top," they go, "I got it in Primark, in the sale, it only cost five pounds." Or, "I love your talk.Yeah, but I left out the best bit. And the other person was much, much better than me." So, if you do that, here's a tip, make praise familiar. Make self-praise, really, really familiar, and make criticism unfamiliar. People can say things, you don't have to let it in.

這是我覺(jué)得最有趣的事情，那些從來(lái)沒(méi)有得到過(guò)贊美的人，這太不公平了，如果你對(duì)他們說(shuō)，"我喜歡那件上衣，"他們會(huì)說(shuō)，"我在Primark買(mǎi)的，在打折時(shí)買(mǎi)的，只花了5英鎊。" 或者，"我喜歡你的談話。是的，但我漏掉了最好的部分,而另一個(gè)人比我好得多。" 所以，如果你這樣做，這里有一個(gè)提示，讓贊美變得熟悉。讓自我表?yè)P(yáng)真的真的很熟悉，并讓批評(píng)變得不熟悉。人們可以說(shuō)些什么，你不必把它放在心上。

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So, I want you all to close your eyes. And, you know, I worked with this very interesting guy whose parents had abandoned him, and they were really horrible to him. And he'd become very, very successful. And they got him to buy them a lot of stuff, but they never praised him. And then his dad died without ever telling him he was worth a bean.

所以，我希望你們都閉上眼睛。你知道，我和一個(gè)非常有趣的人一起工作，他的父母拋棄了他，他們對(duì)他非常可怕。他變得非常、非常成功。他們讓他給他們買(mǎi)了很多東西，但他們從未稱(chēng)贊過(guò)他。然后他的父親去世了，沒(méi)有告訴他他有什么價(jià)值。

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And one day I said to him, "You know, you're a good son." I put my hand on his shoulder. He sobbed uncontrollably for 10 minutes. And I had to say, "Look, let this in. You're a good son. Your dad's not going to tell you, but I will."

有一天我對(duì)他說(shuō):“你知道嗎，你是個(gè)好兒子?！蔽野咽址旁谒募缟?。他控制不住地抽泣了十分鐘。我不得不說(shuō)，“聽(tīng)著，讓它進(jìn)來(lái)吧。你是個(gè)好兒子。你爸爸不會(huì)告訴你的，但我會(huì)的?！?/p>

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So, I want you all to think about, what is the one thing you would have loved to have heard? We all want the same stuff, "You're a great kid. How lucky am I that you're my kid? How lucky am I to be married to you, dating you, living with you? You're a great employee. You're great at your job."

所以，我想讓你們都想一想，你們最想聽(tīng)到的一句話是什么？我們都想要同樣的東西，"你是一個(gè)好孩子。我有多幸運(yùn)，你是我的孩子？”"我有多幸運(yùn)能和你結(jié)婚，和你約會(huì)，和你一起生活？""你是一個(gè)很棒的員工。你的工作很出色。"

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You know what you need to hear. I don't have to tell you. Close your eyes. Think of what you most wanted to hear now, or 30 years ago, and say it to yourself. Now, "I am," you can do it in your head or out loud, no one's listening. Just say it right now, "I'm a good person. I'm smart. I matter. I'm successful. I'm significant." And just say over, and over, and over again, because you're going to make that so familiar that the old voice is unfamiliar.

你知道你需要聽(tīng)到什么。我沒(méi)必要告訴你。閉上你的眼睛。想一想你現(xiàn)在或30年前最想聽(tīng)到的東西，然后對(duì)自己說(shuō)?，F(xiàn)在，"我是"，你可以在腦子里做，也可以大聲說(shuō)出來(lái)，沒(méi)有人在聽(tīng)。現(xiàn)在就說(shuō)："我是個(gè)好人。我很聰明。我很重要。我很成功。我很有意義。" 就這樣一遍又一遍地說(shuō)著，因?yàn)槟阋屗兊萌绱耸煜?，以至于舊的聲音都不熟悉了。

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And here's a great thing to end on. Studies have shown over and over again that depression is usually caused by harsh, hurtful, critical words that you say to yourself over and over again. Make that unfamiliar, tell your brain what you want. Take responsibility for the words and pictures you use. Make great stuff familiar, negative stuff unfamiliar. I promise you; you can have whatever you like.

這是一個(gè)很棒的結(jié)尾。研究一遍又一遍地表明，抑郁癥通常是由你一遍又一遍地對(duì)自己說(shuō)刺耳、傷人、批評(píng)的話引起的，讓它變得陌生，告訴你的大腦你想要什么。對(duì)你使用的文字和圖片負(fù)責(zé)。讓好的東西變得熟悉，負(fù)面的東西變得陌生。我向你保證，你可以擁有你喜歡的任何東西。

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