{"ops":[{"insert":"?話說這Self，萊恩，尼翁三人成功擊敗了阿土荅尼其斤國的三位先鋒，現在，是Death的主場，而他將要對戰(zhàn)的是…阿土荅尼其斤國的黃石軍駐軍的司令官——凱子腎虧？！"},{"attributes":{"align":"justify"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Death：凱子哥？！你為什么在這里？！"},{"attributes":{"align":"justify"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"凱子腎虧：憋提了，上次在《反轉戰(zhàn)役6》里和你去討伐雷諾和守護者，好不容易從黑暗之王那里掙了一筆，結果后來炒股又賠了個底褲都不剩，好不容易在阿土荅尼其斤國混了個一官半職，結果你們又來搗亂！"},{"attributes":{"align":"justify"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Death：這也不能怪我啊，你自己當初作死（反轉戰(zhàn)役六中凱子哥和Death討伐雷諾的原因是在慈善賭王大會中把錢全輸給了雷日天）要去參加慈善賭王大會的。"},{"attributes":{"align":"justify"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"凱子腎虧：毋須多言，納命來！"},{"attributes":{"align":"justify"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"戰(zhàn)斗開始！Death先手打出能力卡：電動力學！Death制造的所有電擊球都將變?yōu)槿后w攻擊！凱子哥的部隊將面臨無限的電泳。此外他還打出了一張碎片整理+。"},{"attributes":{"align":"justify"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"凱子哥也不甘示弱，打出了一張無限刀刃和一張精準+，隨后打出了一張刀刃之舞，對Death造成了30點傷害，結束回合！"},{"attributes":{"align":"justify"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"第二回合！Death他打出了一張派蒙，消耗三費，接下來三回合他將多出兩費。"},{"attributes":{"align":"justify"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"凱子哥打出撅斗之舞，這是比決斗之舞更強的卡牌，它能在攻擊對手時順便撅一下對手，把對手變成homo！"},{"attributes":{"align":"justify"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Death：馬薩卡！不！這種感jo…哼，哼，哼，哼啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊?。?#34;},{"attributes":{"align":"justify"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"??????Death被變成了homo，他現在很臭"},{"attributes":{"align":"justify"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Death：該死！既然如此，你也鱉想活著！"},{"attributes":{"align":"justify"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Death使用了邪教徒的技能“我的力量無人能及！”，獲得三層儀式，每層儀式會讓他每回合獲得三點拋瓦！維吉爾狂喜。又因為他打了“真正的拋瓦”mod，他得到了一把塑料椅，維吉爾再次狂喜。"},{"attributes":{"align":"justify"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"凱子哥的回合，抽卡！"},{"attributes":{"align":"justify"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"凱子哥抽到了一張“維吉爾”和一張“神化+”，"},{"attributes":{"background":"transparent"},"insert":"他打出神化+，將維吉爾升級成了維只因爾。然后將維只因爾打出，維吉爾在出場時會自動將BGM切換為“埋葬光明”，而維只因爾則會切換為更強大的“埋葬只因”。"},{"attributes":{"align":"justify"},"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"background":"transparent"},"insert":"第四回合！Death抽卡，他抽到了一張“潦草急就+”，零費將手牌抽滿的神卡，他抽到了一張緹坦妮雅?嫉妒之花！這是他卡組中最強的隨從！打出緹坦妮雅?嫉妒之花！"},{"attributes":{"align":"justify"},"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"background":"transparent"},"insert":"凱子哥的回合，維只因爾發(fā)動了“雞元斬！”但被緹坦妮雅用“混沌爆發(fā)”擋了回去，凱子哥見狀打出了一張“沉默”，封住了緹坦妮雅的技能，維只因爾又使用了“雞的世界！”緹坦妮雅遭到重創(chuàng)。"},{"attributes":{"align":"justify"},"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"background":"transparent"},"insert":"第五回合，Death又打出了一張派蒙，下個回合他會擁有足足十費，剩下的四費他選擇打出一張“通曉未來”，打出兩次無中生有，抽了四張牌，其中有一張“計算下注”，洗牌！Death打出了兩張偏折，他得到了八點護甲。"},{"attributes":{"align":"justify"},"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"background":"transparent"},"insert":"至于凱子哥呢？他為維只因爾上了一個終極buff：所有屬性+10！這耗光了他所有的費用，但是絕對物有所值！維只因爾使用“雞年雨”，Death殘血！"},{"attributes":{"align":"justify"},"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"background":"transparent"},"insert":"第六回合！Death這邊處于極大劣勢，Death會怎么做呢？他選擇了踢臉凱子哥！他發(fā)動了自己的究極技能：傳播震爆！一擊必殺！維只因爾當場斃命，可惜凱子哥離得遠沒有受到攻擊。"},{"attributes":{"align":"justify"},"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"background":"transparent"},"insert":"凱子哥見狀也憤怒了，他直接也發(fā)動了自己的技能：搓麻將（bushi），通過搓出電球，火球和冰球的各種組合，發(fā)動不同的招式。凱子哥召喚了四名“獵膜人”，向Death發(fā)動了強大的攻擊，但由于凱子哥只會F2A，這四個獵膜人全都被Death的“傳播震爆”化解了。凱子哥非常憤怒，于是他施展了究極召喚術：獻祭自己的一滴血，召喚不死人法涅斯！"},{"attributes":{"align":"justify"},"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"background":"transparent"},"insert":"法涅斯：什么？我怎么到這里來了？我剛剛還在家里吃午飯呢。"},{"attributes":{"align":"justify"},"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"background":"transparent"},"insert":"凱子哥：不死人法涅斯??！聽從我的召喚，干碎我的敵人！"},{"attributes":{"align":"justify"},"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"background":"transparent"},"insert":"法涅斯：??？你誰??？我干嘛聽你的？"},{"attributes":{"align":"justify"},"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"background":"transparent"},"insert":"??????????????法涅斯回去吃午飯了"},{"attributes":{"align":"justify"},"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"background":"transparent"},"insert":"凱子哥：我靠 ( ?????)，這不合理啊，難道我的召喚物不應該聽我的嗎？"},{"attributes":{"align":"justify"},"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"background":"transparent"},"insert":"Death：哈哈，你浪費了一個回合，該我了！你所對我做的一切，我將盡數奉還！"},{"attributes":{"align":"justify"},"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"background":"transparent"},"insert":"凱子哥：馬薩卡？你要？！不！不要！不要這樣！不要啊啊啊啊啊啊?。?#34;},{"attributes":{"align":"justify"},"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"background":"transparent"},"insert":"第七回合："},{"attributes":{"align":"justify"},"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"background":"transparent"},"insert":"Death：花費七費，打出金色傳說級隨從牌：野獸先輩！戰(zhàn)吼：撅了敵人！使敵人變成homo！"},{"attributes":{"align":"justify"},"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"background":"transparent"},"insert":"凱子腎虧：不要哼啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊?。。。。。?#34;},{"attributes":{"align":"justify"},"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"background":"transparent"},"insert":"就這樣，凱子哥變成了homo，Death的任務完成了。"},{"attributes":{"align":"justify"},"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"background":"transparent"},"insert":"灰機：唉唉唉！怎么能就這么完了呢？！還有一堆事沒做呢！你們幫我奪回了黃石星，那正好，趁熱打鐵。我們一起把阿土荅尼其斤國攻打下來！以后我們就是坑爹帝國！"},{"attributes":{"align":"justify"},"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"background":"transparent"},"insert":"Death：啊這…這不好吧。"},{"attributes":{"align":"justify"},"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"background":"transparent"},"insert":"萊恩：我還想回去吃羊腿呢。"},{"attributes":{"align":"justify"},"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"background":"transparent"},"insert":"Self：這算非法加班，我要起訴你！"},{"attributes":{"align":"justify"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"尼翁：老大說了這么做不好，那么這么做就一定不好。我們一起回去吸地勤不香嗎？"},{"attributes":{"align":"justify"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Death：大哥，你看大家都說不好了，要不…"},{"attributes":{"align":"justify"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"灰機：十倍加班費，五星級酒店的高級羊腿管夠，地勤也是最新鮮的。"},{"attributes":{"align":"justify"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"萊恩：我覺得去一趟也沒什么不好的。"},{"attributes":{"align":"justify"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Self：感覺身上突然充滿了動力，想要運動一下。"},{"attributes":{"align":"justify"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"尼翁：抱歉老大，但他給的太多了。"},{"attributes":{"align":"justify"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Death：沃德發(fā)？好啊你們這幫小子，行，我們明天出發(fā)。"},{"attributes":{"align":"justify"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"萊恩：大哥威武！"},{"attributes":{"align":"justify"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Self：行，你還不算太蠢。"},{"attributes":{"align":"justify"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"尼翁：不愧是大哥！"},{"attributes":{"align":"justify"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"———————————————————"},{"attributes":{"align":"justify"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"就這樣，Death一行人在黃石星上的任務完成了，他們的下一個地點是阿土荅尼其斤國的首都星球：克孝。目標：攻下阿土荅尼其斤國的首都：窩尻虹媽蛤蜊。"},{"attributes":{"align":"justify"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"《Death的不妙冒險》第一卷《黃石星奇遇記》完"},{"attributes":{"align":"justify"},"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"background":"transparent"},"insert":"敬請期待：《Death的不妙冒險》第二卷《克孝星球大冒險》"},{"attributes":{"align":"justify"},"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"background":"transparent"},"insert":"新的冒險將會有："},{"attributes":{"align":"justify"},"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"background":"transparent"},"insert":"新的角色！新的敵人！新的陣營！"},{"attributes":{"align":"justify"},"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"background":"transparent"},"insert":"旁白：所以你標題那句話究竟啥意思，這既沒有暴雪也沒有火之高興??？"},{"attributes":{"align":"justify"},"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"background":"transparent"},"insert":"閉嘴！這結局難道不火之高興嗎？！"},{"attributes":{"align":"justify"},"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"background":"transparent"},"insert":"旁白：…你開心就好。"},{"attributes":{"align":"justify"},"insert":"\n\n"},{"attributes":{"background":"transparent"},"insert":"第一卷完"},{"attributes":{"align":"justify"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"\n"}]}