"I am not asking you to believe in it, or even to like it,"?Henry says stonily. It's been a long morning already. He is beginning to perspire. "I am simply asking you to show a modicum of respect."

"To-to your quiche?"

"Yes.To my quiche."

Bea puts down her tape gun and wipes her eyes. "Pez."

"我不是要你相信它，甚至不是要你喜歡它，"亨利堅(jiān)定地說(shuō)。這已經(jīng)是一個(gè)漫長(zhǎng)的上午了。他開(kāi)始冒汗了。"我只是要求你表現(xiàn)出適度的尊重。"

"敬你的乳蛋餅？"

"是的，敬我的乳蛋餅。"

碧放下錄音槍，擦了擦眼睛。"皮茲。"

"Yes?"

"Henry says he's going to make us a quiche!"

Pez's squawk of a laugh bounces down the stairs. "Pull the other one!"

"I make them all the time for Alex," Henry insists."They are perfectly edible."

"So,?when?you?promised?us?breakfast?if?we?got?up?early?to?help you,"Bea says, "you meant that you were going to make us breakfast?"

"什么事？"

"亨利說(shuō)他要給我們做乳蛋餅！"

皮茲的笑聲從樓梯上傳來(lái) "喊另一個(gè)當(dāng)救兵！"

"我經(jīng)常給艾利克斯做乳蛋餅，" 亨利堅(jiān)持說(shuō)，"完全可以吃。"

"所以，你答應(yīng)我們說(shuō)，我們要是早起幫忙就請(qǐng)我們吃早餐，"碧說(shuō)，"你的意思是，你要給我們做早餐？"

"Yes!"Henry says hotly. "Stop laughing!"

"I'm sorry!"?Bea says. "It's only that...well, Henry,the last time?you cooked breakfast for me,you wee twelve and you put a sausage in the?microwave until it exploded."

"That was your idea And it's been ages since then! I've studied,?all right??I'm quite good now. Those pictures I send the group chat aren't just for show."

"Oh, aren't they?" Bea says rudely,as if his incredibly generous of fer to?cook?her?a?shallot-and-thyme?quiche?with?mushrooms?from?the?farmer's?market means nothing at all. As if he's lived in this house for five entire years?without learning to use its kitchen.

"是的！"亨利激動(dòng)地說(shuō)。"別笑了！"

"對(duì)不起！" 碧說(shuō)。"只是......好吧，亨利，上次你為我做早餐時(shí)，你才 12 歲，你把一根香腸放進(jìn)微波爐直到它爆炸。"

"那是你的主意，而且已經(jīng)過(guò)去很久了！我早就進(jìn)步了，好嗎？我現(xiàn)在已經(jīng)很不錯(cuò)了。我在群聊里發(fā)的那些照片可不是擺設(shè)。"

"哦，不是嗎？" 碧毫不客氣地說(shuō)，好像他慷慨大方地用農(nóng)貿(mào)市場(chǎng)買來(lái)的蘑菇給她做香蔥百里香乳蛋餅，根本就不值一提。就好像他在這房子里住了整整五年都沒(méi)學(xué)會(huì)用廚房一樣。

Perhaps if their lives weren't so chaotic, if Henry weren't flying out of New?York every time Bea had a spare moment to fly in,he could have proven this to?her earlier. But Pez, who lives mostly in the city now and visits so frequently?he's?earned?his?own?Secret?Service?code?name(Cardinal,?since?Henry?is?Bishop), should know better.

"Percy?Okonjo,"?Henry?says?as?Pez?joins?them,?"you?were?here?last?weekend when I made mince pie. You loved it."

"Did I?"?Pez wonders aloud, with an annoyingly Bea-like lilt.

"Look at this apron!" Henry gestures to himself and the navy blue apron?he's wearing. Alex gave it to him for his birthday last year. "Would a man who?Alex pushes up his sunglasses and frowns into the camera. He looks so lovely with his faded T-shirt and jean jacket and shaggy hair.?Pure American?heartthrob,might as well have a cowboy hat on. Henry never does tire of it.

也許，如果他們的生活不是那么混亂，如果亨利不是一有空就從紐約飛來(lái)，他本可以早點(diǎn)向她證明這一點(diǎn)。但佩茲現(xiàn)在大部分時(shí)間都住在紐約，而且經(jīng)常來(lái)紐約，他已經(jīng)有了自己的特勤局代號(hào)（紅衣主教，因?yàn)楹嗬侵鹘蹋?，他?yīng)該更清楚這一點(diǎn)。

"珀西·奧孔喬，"佩茲過(guò)來(lái)時(shí)，亨利說(shuō)，"上周末我做肉餡餅時(shí)你來(lái)過(guò)。你很喜歡。"

"我喜歡嗎？佩茲大聲問(wèn)道，帶著一種很像碧的口吻，像到煩人。

"看看這條圍裙！" 亨利指了指自己和身上的海軍藍(lán)圍裙。這是艾利克斯去年送給他的生日禮物。"艾利克斯推了推墨鏡，皺著眉頭對(duì)著鏡頭。他穿著褪色的 T 恤和牛仔夾克，頭發(fā)蓬松，看起來(lái)非?？蓯?ài)。純正的美國(guó)甜心，真該再加一頂牛仔帽了。亨利對(duì)他百看不厭。

"Sorry?"

"Bea and Pez don't believe I can make a quiche."

"What? Have they seen your apron?"

"That's what I said!"

"Henry's quiches are great!" Alex says loudly, to the kitchen at large. "I?almost never find shells in them!"

"什么？"

"碧和佩斯不相信我會(huì)做乳蛋餅。"

"他們看見(jiàn)你的圍裙了嗎？"

"我就是這么說(shuō)的！"

"亨利做的乳蛋餅很棒！" 艾利克斯對(duì)著整個(gè)廚房大聲說(shuō)，"我?guī)缀鯊臎](méi)在里面發(fā)現(xiàn)過(guò)蛋殼！"

That sets Bea and Pez off again. On the screen,Alex's face crinkles into?laughter.

"Thank you very much, Alex, you've been a tremendous help," Henry?groans. "How are things? Florist this morning, wasn't it?"

"Just?finishing?up,"?Alex?says?with?a?grin.??"Final?approvals?done.?Everything looks great."

With only one week until moving day and two until the wedding,it made sense to divide and conquer. Henry agreed to stay in New York and finish packing up the brownstone with help from Bea and Pez, while Alex, June, and Nora are ticking off the last of their checklists in Texas.

這句話又把碧和佩斯惹笑了。屏幕上，艾利克斯的臉笑得皺巴巴的。

"非常感謝你，艾利克斯，你幫了我大忙。"亨利呻吟道。"事情怎么樣了？今天早上去花店了吧？"

"剛剛結(jié)束，"艾利克斯笑著說(shuō)。"最后的審批已經(jīng)完成。一切看起來(lái)都很好。"

離搬家只有一周時(shí)間，離婚禮只有兩周時(shí)間，所以分頭行動(dòng)很有意義。亨利同意留在紐約，在碧和佩斯的幫助下完成褐砂石房子的打包工作，而艾利克斯、瓊和諾拉則在德克薩斯州完成最后一項(xiàng)工作。

"Of?all?the?surprises?that?wedding?planning?has?brought?us,"Henry says,"your?ability?to?micromanage?floral?arrangements?has?certainly?been...one of them."

"You know I love to curate a vibe,"?Alex says.

"That you do,"Henry agrees."Where are the girls?"

"Getting donuts,"?Pez answers before Alex can. He holds up his phone,?open to a photo of June blowing a kiss while Nora fellates an éclair."

亨利說(shuō)："在婚禮策劃給我們帶來(lái)的所有驚喜中，你對(duì)花藝安排的微觀管理能力無(wú)疑是......其中之一。"

艾利克斯說(shuō)："你知道我喜歡營(yíng)造氛圍。"

"那是當(dāng)然，"亨利同意道，"姑娘們呢？"

"去買甜甜圈了。"佩茲搶在艾利克斯之前回答。他舉起手機(jī)，打開(kāi)了一張照片，上面是瓊在飛吻、諾拉在吃奶油蛋糕。

"Donuts!"?Bea says. "Now there's an idea!"

They spend the rest of the day drowning in cardboard boxes and bin liners, packing everything but the furniture and the downstairs television. Pez reminds him once an hour that they could pay someone to do this, but Bea is stubborn, and Henry is reluctant to let?anyone else wade into all the intimate trappings of his and Alex's life. It?was bad enough explaining the contents of the trick drawer in?their dresser to Pez, much less some mover he's never met.

"甜甜圈！"碧說(shuō)。"這才是好主意！"

剩下的時(shí)間里，他們都沉浸在紙箱和垃圾袋里，除了家具和樓下的電視機(jī)，什么都打包。佩茲每隔一小時(shí)就提醒他一次，他們可以花錢請(qǐng)人來(lái)做這件事，但是碧很固執(zhí)，亨利也不愿意讓別人涉足他和艾利克斯生活中的所有隱私。向佩斯解釋他們梳妝臺(tái)抽屜里的小玩具就已經(jīng)夠糟了，更別提向他素未謀面的搬家工人解釋了。

When it's done, Bea puts A Knight's Tale on in the living room and promptly?falls asleep on Pez's lap. Pez passes out too, but Henry stays?awake,because Heath Ledger deserves an audience.?And because he knows if he doesn't wake Bea and move her to the guest bedroom,he'll have to hear about her back spasms in the morning.

David hops up beside him on the loveseat, and Henry strokes the top?of his snout until his little body relaxes into Henry's side.

做完后，碧在客廳里放了《騎士的故事》，然后很快就趴在佩茲的腿上睡著了。佩茲也昏睡了過(guò)去，但亨利還沒(méi)睡，因?yàn)橄Ｋ埂とR杰不能沒(méi)有觀眾。因?yàn)樗?，如果不叫醒碧，把她挪到客房去，明天早上他就得?tīng)到她抱怨背痛了。

大衛(wèi)跳到他身邊的沙發(fā)上，亨利撫摸著它的鼻子，直到它的小身體放松地靠在亨利的身邊。

"Nervous old boy,"Henry hums.?It still does seem?like the?ultimate irony that the dog he adopted for emotional support has anxiety. David has grown more and more worried all week, as more and more of his?home disappeared into boxes."We won't leave you,I promise."

The?brownstone?has?been?a?good?house?for?them.?Sturdy?brick walls,neighbors that actually let them be. Henry has loved it more than he ever loved Kensington, or at least as much as he loved Kensington when his?parents?both?lived?there?too.?Some?mornings,when?he?comes downstairs to find Alex with the coffeepot and the kettle already on, he feels the way he did when his family all slept under one roof.This roof is?quite a bit smaller than that one,but the feeling isn't.

"緊張的老伙計(jì)，"亨利哼道。他收養(yǎng)的這只作為情感支持的狗竟然會(huì)焦慮，這似乎仍然是一個(gè)最大的諷刺。這一周來(lái)，隨著家里越來(lái)越多的東西消失在箱子里，大衛(wèi)也越來(lái)越擔(dān)心。"我們不會(huì)離開(kāi)你的，我保證"。

這棟褐砂石房子對(duì)他們來(lái)說(shuō)一直不錯(cuò)。堅(jiān)固的磚墻，鄰居們都很照顧他們。亨利愛(ài)它勝過(guò)愛(ài)肯辛頓，至少像他父母住在肯辛頓時(shí)一樣愛(ài)它。有些早晨，當(dāng)他下樓發(fā)現(xiàn)艾利克斯已經(jīng)把咖啡壺和水壺打開(kāi)時(shí)，他的感覺(jué)就像他的家人都睡在一個(gè)屋檐下時(shí)一樣。

So,?perhaps David hasn't got entirely the wrong idea. It is hard to let?the place go. For the past month, Alex has kept asking Henry why he's staring, and the truth is that he's been committing to memory exactly how Alex looks in every room. How the bannister fits in his hand, the place on the foyer wall where he always braces himself to pull on his shoes.

Everything that's happened in the past five years has happened,?a?least in part,inside this house.

所以，也許大衛(wèi)并沒(méi)有完全想錯(cuò)。這個(gè)地方讓人難以割舍。在過(guò)去的一個(gè)月里，艾利克斯一直在問(wèn)亨利為什么盯著他看，而事實(shí)上，亨利一直在牢牢記住艾利克斯在每個(gè)房間里的樣子。樓梯扶手和他的手是如何貼合的，門廳墻壁上的那個(gè)地方，他總是撐著那里穿鞋。

過(guò)去五年發(fā)生的一切，至少有一部分是在這所房子里發(fā)生的。

It's seven months after Alex's mother's second inauguration, and Henry is wishing he had never even heard the word "credenza." Then he wouldn't?have to decide where to put one.

Alex is arriving in half an hour to help him move it, but Henry still?doesn't know where. Across from the fireplace,perhaps? But what if he?wants to put a sofa there? Does he want a regular sofa, or a sectional? Should it go upstairs, in his study? Or should he leave room for book- cases?

現(xiàn)在是艾利克斯母親第二次就職七個(gè)月后，亨利真希望自己從來(lái)沒(méi)聽(tīng)說(shuō)過(guò) "書(shū)柜 "這個(gè)詞。那樣他就不用決定把柜子放在哪里了。

艾利克斯半小時(shí)后就會(huì)來(lái)幫他搬，但亨利還是不知道放在哪里。也許放在壁爐對(duì)面？但如果他想在那里放一張沙發(fā)呢？他想要普通沙發(fā)，還是組合沙發(fā)？是放在樓上的書(shū)房呢？還是應(yīng)該留出放書(shū)柜的地方？

He longs to be back on a beach, sipping something from a pineapple.

It's been a long, glorious summer since Alex packed up his White House bedroom, called Henry, and asked, "Do you want to get the fuck off the continent?"?They did Dubai first, then Lagos. Rio, for old time's sake. Buenos Aires, paper lanterns in moonlight and Alex flirting with the bartender for free drinks. June through August became a lovely blur: Alex asleep against his shoulder on the plane, Alex throwing his Portuguese phrase book out the window of a speedingcar,?sand in unmentionable places,?Alex?Alex?Alex.?Endless?runways?and?half-arsed?disguises, swimsuits that got smaller and smaller until they simply didn't wear them anymore. Falling in love,the sequel,with fresh suntans and all the time in the world.

他渴望回到海灘上，喝著菠蘿汁。

自從艾利克斯收拾好他在白宮的臥室，打電話給亨利，問(wèn)他："你想不想離開(kāi)這個(gè)該死的大陸？"已經(jīng)過(guò)了一個(gè)漫長(zhǎng)而燦爛的夏天了。他們先去了迪拜，然后是拉各斯、里約，又為了懷舊區(qū)了布宜諾斯艾利斯，月光下的紙燈籠、艾利克斯和酒保調(diào)情換取免費(fèi)酒水。從六月到八月，一切都變得美好而模糊不清：艾利克斯在飛機(jī)上靠著他的肩膀睡著了，艾利克斯把他的葡萄牙語(yǔ)短語(yǔ)書(shū)扔出了飛馳的汽車窗外，沙子鉆進(jìn)難以啟齒的地方，艾利克斯--艾利克斯--艾利克斯。無(wú)盡的跑道和半生不熟的偽裝，越來(lái)越小的泳衣，直到他們干脆不再穿了。墜入愛(ài)河，續(xù)集，新的日光浴和世界上所有的時(shí)間。

And now here they are in Park Slope, where Alex is renting the second floor of a brownstone two blocks from Henry's.

It's practical, they agreed, to live in the same neighborhood before they live at the same address. They've scarcely gotten a chance to date the?normal way yet-if it can?be?called "normal"?when their combined security?teams?are?headquartered?in?an?empty?apartment?down?the?street. Still, Henry wants this to last.

現(xiàn)在他們來(lái)到了公園坡，艾利克斯租住在離亨利家兩個(gè)街區(qū)的一棟褐砂石房子的二樓。

他們一致認(rèn)為，先住在同一個(gè)社區(qū)，然后再住在同一個(gè)地址，這樣比較實(shí)際。他們幾乎還沒(méi)有機(jī)會(huì)以正常的方式約會(huì)--如果這還能被稱為"正常 "的話，因?yàn)樗麄兊穆?lián)合安保團(tuán)隊(duì)總部就設(shè)在街邊的空公寓里。盡管如此，亨利還是希望這種關(guān)系能持續(xù)下去。

They've sprinted headlong into everything so far, but now he wants move slowly, in delicious increments. He wants to savor nights, min-utes, firsts, to covet them and then let them dissolve on his tongue, like the?sugar cubes he snuck off his gran's filigreed tea trays when he was?small.?He wants a life.

He wants someone to tell him where to put this damned credenza.

迄今為止，他們都是一頭沖進(jìn)一切，但現(xiàn)在他想慢慢地、以美味的方式前進(jìn)。他想細(xì)細(xì)品味夜晚、分鐘、第一次，覬覦它們，然后讓它們?cè)谏嗉馊芙?，就像小時(shí)候從奶奶的絲茶盤(pán)上偷吃的方糖一樣。他想要生活。

他希望有人能告訴他，這該死的柜子該放哪兒。

It's a vintage Broyhill Brasilia piece, walnut with clever brass drawer pulls. June helped him pick it out when she was in town meeting with her editor, but she never gave him any advice on where it should go.He?hasn't ever been allowed to decide where furniture should go before.

So,it's...there, in the center of the empty living room,the first piece?in the entire house.

"Maybe you could start with a ru or two," says Alex from the foyer.

Henry turns to find him with his keys in one hand and a paper bag in the other, smiling in a beam of midmorning light,and,ah.Yes, there it is. That sweet, sharp gasp of nerves. The half second when he forgets how to use his mouth. If he knows nothing else, at least one certainty remains, which is that seeing Alex?Claremont-Diaz in the flesh will always do this to him.

這是一件古董布洛伊希爾-巴西利亞（Broyhill Brasilia）家具，胡桃木，抽屜的黃銅拉手很精致。瓊在城里和她的編輯開(kāi)會(huì)時(shí)幫他挑的，但她從沒(méi)給過(guò)他任何建議，告訴他應(yīng)該放在哪里。

所以，它就......在那里，在空蕩蕩的客廳中央，是整個(gè)房子里的第一件家具。

門廳里傳來(lái)艾利克斯的聲音："也許你可以先擺放一兩件家具。"

亨利轉(zhuǎn)過(guò)身，發(fā)現(xiàn)他一手拿著鑰匙，一手提著紙袋，在一束晨光中微笑著。那甜蜜而急促的緊張喘息。那半秒鐘，他忘記了如何用嘴。如果他什么都不知道，至少有一點(diǎn)是肯定的，那就是看到艾利克斯·克萊蒙特-迪亞茲的真容，他總會(huì)這樣。

Alex in a photo is handsome, but Alex in life is a symphony. He's refracted light with a cherry cola chaser. He's got a Fibonacci jawline and a troublemaker smile and thick forearms built for posing in doorways with his sleeves rolled and thumbing corks out of champagne bottles. The first time Henry ever told Pez?about him,he said,"God,but he's lethal."?It's only worse once you get to know him.

"Weird place for a credenza," Alex comments. He kisses Henry's cheek, then passes him a warm bundle wrapped in parchment paper. "Hope you like sausage-egg-and-cheese."

"I don't know where to put it."

"Sandwich goes in your mouth,typically."

"The credenza."

照片中的艾利克斯是英俊的，但生活中的艾利克斯卻是一首交響樂(lè)。他是光的折射者，也是櫻桃可樂(lè)的追逐者。他有一個(gè)斐波納契式的下巴，笑起來(lái)很麻煩，前臂粗壯，適合卷著袖子在門口擺姿勢(shì)，摁開(kāi)香檳酒瓶的塞子。亨利第一次跟佩茲說(shuō)起他的時(shí)候，他說(shuō)："天啊，他太致命了。" 一旦你了解了他，情況就更糟了。

艾利克斯說(shuō)："這個(gè)柜子擺得真奇怪。"他親吻了亨利的臉頰，然后遞給他一個(gè)用羊皮紙包裹的暖包。"希望你喜歡香腸雞蛋芝士。"

"我不知道該放哪兒。"

"通常，三明治應(yīng)該放在你嘴里。"

"書(shū)柜。"

"Ohhh, right,"?Alex says, pretending to have just caught on. He winks. Henry sighs theatrically but accepts a second kiss, on the lips this time.

"Why don't you just put it right here?"

He points to his left, where a blank wall stretches from the front door to the foot of the stairs. It does, upon closer inspection, appear to be the exact?right size.

"哦，對(duì)，"艾利克斯假裝剛明白過(guò)來(lái)。他眨了眨眼睛。亨利夸張地嘆了口氣，但還是接受了第二個(gè)吻，這次是吻嘴唇。

"你為什么不把它放在這里呢？"

他指了指左邊，那里有一面空白的墻，從大門一直延伸到樓梯腳下。仔細(xì)一看，大小確實(shí)合適。

"Oh,"Henry says.

This is where they overlap. Where he ends and Alex begins. Great gooey puddle of feelings, meet course of action; endless burning energy, meet point of focus. Agonies, meet your most obvious, most natural, most inevitable conclusions. It's frightening sometimes for a person like Henry, who has spent his entire life pedaling his agonies about like baguettes in a posh little bicycle basket. What is he to do with them?now?

"Yes," Henry concedes, "I suppose I could," and Alex laughs.

"哦，"亨利說(shuō)。

這就是他們重疊的地方。他在這里結(jié)束，艾利克斯在這里開(kāi)始。洶涌澎湃的情感，匯聚成行動(dòng)的方向；無(wú)盡燃燒的能量，匯聚成關(guān)注的焦點(diǎn)。痛苦，滿足你最明顯、最自然、最不可避免的結(jié)論。對(duì)于亨利這樣的人來(lái)說(shuō)，有時(shí)會(huì)感到恐懼，因?yàn)樗簧荚诎淹纯嘞耖L(zhǎng)棍面包一樣裝在高檔的小自行車籃子里。他現(xiàn)在該怎么處理這些痛苦呢？

"是的，"亨利承認(rèn)，"我想我可以。"艾利克斯笑了。