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A MONTH AFTER the tough gig at the festival in Miami, the winds changed. On 10 April 2013, the guys on Styrmansgatan posted an hour-long file on the music site Soundcloud, with the simple name Avicii – Promo Mix 2013.

在邁阿密音樂(lè)節(jié)上那場(chǎng)艱難的演出一個(gè)月之后，風(fēng)向發(fā)生了變化。2013年4月10日，斯特曼斯加坦的那些人在音樂(lè)網(wǎng)站Soundcloud上發(fā)布了一個(gè)時(shí)長(zhǎng)一個(gè)小時(shí)的文件，名字很簡(jiǎn)單：Avicii - Promo Mix 2013。

Here, Tim had collected the new songs in their studio versions, a much more recognisable form for the house audience, and the rumour spread quickly online.

在這里，Tim集合了新歌的錄音室版本，這種形式更容易被浩室音樂(lè)的聽(tīng)眾承認(rèn)，謠言在網(wǎng)上迅速傳開(kāi)。

The first song in the mix was a highly unexpected cover. A decade or so earlier, Antony and the Johnsons had made a name for themselves in New York’s queer clubs with their fragile songs about demise and darkness. Their ‘Hope There’s Someone’ was a prayer for a comforting life in the hereafter – hardly a song that Swedish House Mafia or Deadmau5 would choose to interpret. Tim had taken this gut-wrenching ballad and let the steady house piano and synths increase in a kind of border-crossing experiment that really shouldn’t have worked, but that said a lot about where Avicii was headed.

出人意料的是，混音中的第一首歌是一首翻唱。十年前，Antony和Johnsons以其關(guān)于死亡和黑暗的脆弱歌曲在紐約的同性戀俱樂(lè)部聲名鵲起。他們的歌曲Hope There's Someone的內(nèi)容是祈求在來(lái)世中得到安慰，瑞典浩室黑手黨或Deadmau5不太可能會(huì)選擇演繹這樣的歌曲。Tim改編了這首令人心碎的民謠，添加了平穩(wěn)的浩室鋼琴和合成器，進(jìn)行了一次跨界實(shí)驗(yàn)，這首歌本不應(yīng)該奏效，但它明確地展現(xiàn)了Avicii的發(fā)展方向。

Without any visible acoustic instruments that stole the spotlight, it was obviously easier for the audience to understand Tim Bergling’s vision. All the ill-natured remarks were turned into cheers in the Soundcloud comment section and raised expectations for the album to the max.

沒(méi)有了搶占焦點(diǎn)的原聲樂(lè)器，觀眾們顯然更容易理解Tim Bergling的理念。在Soundcloud評(píng)論區(qū)中，所有不懷好意的評(píng)論都變成了歡呼，人們對(duì)專(zhuān)輯的期望值提高到了最高點(diǎn)。

It had turned out exactly as Arash Pournouri had predicted.

這一切都和Arash Pournouri預(yù)測(cè)的一樣。

When ‘Wake Me Up’ was finally released as the first single in June 2013, the dividend was huge. The song went straight to number one on the influential singles chart in the UK and sold over a quarter of a million copies in one week – the fastest-selling single in a long time in the country. In the United States, the song ranked among the top twenty-five on the Billboard charts before it even started playing on the radio.

終于，當(dāng)Wake Me Up于2013年6月作為首支單曲發(fā)布時(shí)，帶來(lái)了巨大的收益。這首歌直接登上了英國(guó)有影響力單曲榜的榜首，并在一周內(nèi)售出了超過(guò)25萬(wàn)份，成為該國(guó)近期最暢銷(xiāo)的單曲。在美國(guó)，這首歌還未在電臺(tái)上播放，就已躋身公告牌排行榜前25名。

The light guitar strum that opened the song invited a whole new audience to Avicii’s world. Even the rock guys who stubbornly claimed that a DJ just pressed buttons had to give in. The shift that a few years earlier had begun with David Guetta, Calvin Harris and Swedish House Mafia had now once and for all been confirmed by Avicii. Dance music was no longer seen as instrumental music with a sampled chorus. It had become pure pop, legitimate for all ages, even played on rock radio stations.

輕快的吉他彈奏拉開(kāi)了這首歌的序幕，邀請(qǐng)了全新的聽(tīng)眾進(jìn)入Avicii的世界。就連那些固執(zhí)地認(rèn)為DJ只是按按鈕的搖滾樂(lè)迷也不得不屈服。幾年前由David Guetta、Calvin Harris和瑞典浩室黑手黨開(kāi)始的轉(zhuǎn)變，現(xiàn)在已經(jīng)被Avicii徹底證實(shí)。舞曲不再被視為僅有采樣合唱的器樂(lè)音樂(lè)。它已經(jīng)成為純正的流行音樂(lè)，適合所有年齡段的人，甚至可以在搖滾電臺(tái)播放。

In this turbulent time, Tim Bergling was again travelling through Europe.

在這個(gè)動(dòng)蕩的時(shí)期，Tim Bergling再次穿越歐洲巡演。

The road crew had started checking him in at hotels under the pseudonym Mark Walls. It was a security measure, but despite trying to move as anonymously as possible, chaos erupted wherever they went. Phone cameras in the air, people running, girls crying, people pushing and screaming and a newly hired bodyguard extending his body as much as he could to protect the star.

巡演團(tuán)隊(duì)開(kāi)始用化名Mark Walls來(lái)為他辦理酒店入住手續(xù)。這是出于安全考慮，但盡管他們盡量隱姓埋名，所到之處還是一片混亂。舉得高高的手機(jī)攝像頭，奔跑的人們，尖叫的女孩們，推搡和大喊大叫的人群，一名新雇的保鏢竭盡全力保護(hù)這位明星。

As Racquel Bettencourt was finishing up her final classes at the design school in Los Angeles, she followed the tour from a distance. At night, her new boyfriend sent messages that made her not only surprised but also worried.

Raquel Bettencourt在洛杉磯的設(shè)計(jì)學(xué)校完成了最后的課程，她從遠(yuǎn)處關(guān)注著巡回演出。晚上，她的新男友發(fā)來(lái)的信息不僅讓她感到驚訝，還有點(diǎn)擔(dān)心。

Tim told how he relied on Red Bull to be able to work out the final tweaks to the album. Once he went to bed, sleep still did not arrive. It didn’t matter, Tim thought, because he had in return got three new songs ready.

Tim說(shuō)他必須依賴紅牛才能完成專(zhuān)輯的最后調(diào)整。即使他躺在床上，他仍然無(wú)法入睡。但Tim覺(jué)得這沒(méi)什么大不了的，因?yàn)樗呀?jīng)完成了三首新歌。

Racquel, who was completely new to this universe, thought the whole picture seemed off-balance. How had this destructive work ethic set in? Why did Tim not say no?

對(duì)于這個(gè)領(lǐng)域完全陌生的 Racquel來(lái)說(shuō)，整個(gè)局面都有些不太對(duì)勁。這種毀滅性的職業(yè)準(zhǔn)則是怎么形成的？為什么Tim不拒絕呢？

Over WhatsApp, her boyfriend described how he sat awake for two days in a row and then went straight up on stage, then ate a pizza and was finally able to fall asleep. His dreams were about the apocalypse: zombies attacking and a meteorite crashing down on Earth and wiping out all life.

通過(guò)WhatsApp，她的男朋友描述了他連續(xù)兩天熬夜上臺(tái)表演，然后吃了一塊比薩餅才終于能夠入睡。他夢(mèng)見(jiàn)了世界末日：僵尸襲擊和隕石撞擊地球，毀滅了所有生命。

Then he was jerked awake again.

然后他又猛地驚醒了。

‘Almost 48h soon,’ Tim wrote. ‘Forcing myself.’

“接近48個(gè)小時(shí)，”Tim寫(xiě)到，“強(qiáng)迫我自己?！?/span>

‘You should sleep,’ Racquel tried.

“你應(yīng)該去睡覺(jué)?！盧acquel勸他。

‘Need 2 more hours.’

“還需要兩個(gè)小時(shí)?！?/span>

There was another problem of a more logistical nature. A large number of the gigs that summer had been booked before ‘Wake Me Up’ was released and had catapulted Avicii to a whole new level. The small beach restaurants on the Mediterranean had actually been overcrowded already last summer – for someone who had just become one of the world’s biggest pop stars, the premises were far too small.

還有一個(gè)后勤方面的問(wèn)題。那個(gè)夏天的許多演出都是在Wake Me Up發(fā)布之前預(yù)訂的，而這首歌將Avicii推向了一個(gè)全新的高度。去年夏天，地中海的小海灘餐廳就已經(jīng)人滿為患了——對(duì)于一個(gè)剛剛成為世界最大的流行音樂(lè)明星之一的人來(lái)說(shuō)，這些場(chǎng)地太小了。

The French nightclub Le Baoli was a good example. The space was intended for a few hundred people, at most a thousand. Now half of Cannes tried to squeeze themselves in, hoping to take a selfie where they appeared in the same picture as Avicii.

法國(guó)夜店Le Baoli是個(gè)很好的例子。這個(gè)場(chǎng)所原本只能容納幾百人，最多一千人。現(xiàn)在，半個(gè)坎城的人都想擠進(jìn)去，希望能在同一張照片里和Avicii一起合影。

The mirrored roof made the floor and ceiling merge, and from his place in the booth, Tim felt crammed in from both above and below. Arms in the air, flashes from phone cameras, suddenly a hand on his head from someone who reached into the booth.

鏡面屋頂使地面和天花板融為一體，Tim站在碟機(jī)后方，感覺(jué)上下左右都擠滿了人。手臂高舉，手機(jī)相機(jī)的閃光燈不斷，突然有一只手越過(guò)臺(tái)子摸到了他的頭。

Racquel had joined the tour and reacted to how much her boyfriend was sweating. That he did it while performing was no surprise, but even when they slept, Tim woke up soaking wet and anxious. When Racquel tried to crawl closer to hold him, he turned dismissively to the other side of the bed.

Racquel加入了巡演，當(dāng)她看到男友汗流浹背的樣子感到有些驚訝。雖然在演出時(shí)這并不奇怪，但即使在睡覺(jué)時(shí)，Tim醒來(lái)時(shí)也是渾身濕透、焦慮不安。當(dāng)Racquel試圖靠近些抱住他時(shí)，他卻漠不關(guān)心地轉(zhuǎn)向床的另一側(cè)。

During the day, Tim complained of a splitting headache. In addition, his appetite seemed to have disappeared. Racquel tried to ignore her fears. She was probably just imagining things. After all, this was a completely dry tour – Arash had made sure that no promoters served alcohol and even the minibars in the hotel rooms had been cleared out of spirits and wine bottles in advance. The manager had given strict instructions to everyone who worked with the stage production not to drink near Tim.

白天，Tim抱怨頭痛欲裂。此外，他的食欲似乎消失了。Racquel試圖忽略她的恐懼。她可能只是在胡思亂想。畢竟，這是一次完全不飲酒的巡演——Arash已經(jīng)確保沒(méi)有推廣人員會(huì)提供酒精飲料，甚至連酒店房間的小迷你臺(tái)事先也提前清空了烈酒和葡萄酒。經(jīng)理還對(duì)所有參與舞臺(tái)演出的工作人員下達(dá)了嚴(yán)格的指示：不要在Tim附近飲酒。

But the longer the summer went on, the harder it was for Racquel to ignore her concerns.

然而，隨著夏天慢慢過(guò)去，Racquel越來(lái)越難忽視她的擔(dān)憂。

Tim had told her that he had been taking strong painkillers before they got to know each other, pills he had got after his hospital stay in Australia. He had stopped taking medication, he said, but still he kept complaining of migraines, continued to sweat. He seemed down. Racquel, who had been so relieved that her boyfriend did not drink wine or party, began to suspect that there was something else beneath the surface.

Tim告訴她，在他們相識(shí)之前，他一直在服用強(qiáng)效止痛藥，這些藥是他在澳大利亞住院期間開(kāi)的。他說(shuō)他已經(jīng)停止服藥了，但仍然一直抱怨頭痛，不停地出汗。他看起來(lái)情緒低落。Racquel曾為男友不喝酒不參加派對(duì)而感到寬慰，但她現(xiàn)在開(kāi)始懷疑是否有其他問(wèn)題藏在表面之下。

An evasion that she had not previously felt.

一種她以前從未感受到的逃避。

Something was weighing on Tim, something shameful and secret.

有些事情壓在Tim心頭，一些可恥的秘密。

In the beginning of August 2013, the couple went on a quick visit to the small Swedish town of Sunne. In the summer heat of V?rmland stood a barn dressed up for a party – Tim’s brother Anton was getting married, and the wedding was to take place in the bride’s home district. Her mother and sisters had sewn white covers for the chairs and hung up tablecloths that floated under the roof. Anki Lidén had borrowed a folk costume that was several sizes too small, but with the yellow apron on, it still looked traditional and fitting.

2013年8月初，這對(duì)情侶去了瑞典小鎮(zhèn)Sunne進(jìn)行短暫的旅行。在瓦爾姆蘭的炎炎夏日中，一座精心裝飾的谷倉(cāng)里舉行了一場(chǎng)派對(duì)——Tim的兄弟Anton要結(jié)婚了，婚禮將在新娘的家鄉(xiāng)舉行。她的母親和姐妹們縫制了白色椅套，她們鋪好的桌布在屋檐下飄動(dòng)。Anki Lidén借了一套民族服裝，雖然尺寸小了幾號(hào)，但搭配上黃色圍裙，看起來(lái)仍然很傳統(tǒng)且合身。

When Tim came walking between the ash trees and birches on the gravel road that led up to the homestead, he appeared almost like a mirage to his mother. He had arranged a break of a couple of days between Marbella and Ibiza, had his suit on and Racquel by his side, the girlfriend that Tim had already sent pictures of to show Anki how beautiful she was.

當(dāng)Tim走在通往農(nóng)場(chǎng)的碎石路上，穿過(guò)白樺和灰樹(shù)林時(shí)，他幾乎像個(gè)幻像出現(xiàn)在他母親的眼前。他在馬爾貝拉和伊維薩島的演出之間安排了幾天的休息時(shí)間，他穿著西裝，身邊是他的女友Racquel。Tim已經(jīng)給Anki發(fā)了Racquel的照片，向她展示了女友的美麗。

A bell rang from a tower and the bride and her maids came thundering in a military jeep, Anton rode in with one of his best friends in a sports car with the top down.

一聲鐘聲從塔樓響起，新娘和她的伴娘們乘坐一輛軍用吉普車(chē)疾馳而來(lái)，Anton則和他最好的朋友一起坐在敞篷跑車(chē)中。

Rose petals and cheers, before the skies suddenly opened.

玫瑰花瓣和歡呼聲，突然下起了大雨。

As the guests ran back and forth looking for umbrellas and covering up the audio equipment, Klas Bergling felt his son squinting at him.

當(dāng)客人們來(lái)回奔波尋找雨傘并遮擋音頻設(shè)備時(shí)，Klas Bergling感覺(jué)到兒子正在斜著眼睛看著他。

A stolen glance, barely noticeable.

只是偷偷瞟了一眼，幾乎沒(méi)被注意到。

What did Tim want to say?

Tim想說(shuō)什么？

A couple of days earlier, they had fussed via email. After a promotional stunt in Hungary for the energy drink Burn, Tim had a stomach pain once again. He had been examined by a doctor in Belgium before he was given painkillers and went on stage again. They had argued about that. Klas knew nothing about drugs, but was worried that Tim was constantly getting new pills for various reasons.

幾天前，他們通過(guò)電子郵件大吵了一架。Tim在匈牙利為能量飲料Burn做完宣傳后，再次感到胃痛。他在比利時(shí)接受了醫(yī)生的檢查，并服用了止疼藥后又登上了舞臺(tái)。他們?yōu)榇藸?zhēng)論不休。Klas對(duì)藥物一無(wú)所知，但他擔(dān)心Tim會(huì)因?yàn)楦鞣N原因不斷服用新藥。

After the spring hospital stay in Australia, Tim had hired a private doctor in Los Angeles. The system was completely different from what Klas was used to in Sweden, where healthcare was still largely public and tax funded. Instead, they paid the physician in the United States a large sum of money in annual premiums, and the doctor in return promised to be able to quickly help Tim and prescribe the drugs that were deemed necessary. But maybe there was too much medicine?

春季在澳大利亞住院治療之后，Tim雇了一位洛杉磯的私人醫(yī)生。這個(gè)醫(yī)療系統(tǒng)與Klas在瑞典所習(xí)慣的完全不同，瑞典的醫(yī)療系統(tǒng)仍然主要由公共醫(yī)療和稅收資助。相比之下，在美國(guó)，他們每年向醫(yī)生支付一大筆費(fèi)用，醫(yī)生則承諾能夠迅速幫助Tim，并開(kāi)具必要的藥物處方。但也許他已經(jīng)用藥過(guò)度了？

Tim had shrugged off the objections. That he was put on pills at the hospital in Belgium was nothing strange, he was in pain.

Tim并沒(méi)有在意反對(duì)意見(jiàn)。在比利時(shí)的醫(yī)院里接受藥物治療并不奇怪，因?yàn)樗芡纯唷?/span>

In the rain, Klas tried to read his son. He looked insecure in some way, searching.

在雨中，Klas試圖讀懂他的兒子。他看起來(lái)有些不安，正在尋找著什么。

Klas dismissed the discomfort. Today was Anton’s big day.

Klas無(wú)視了不適感。今天是Anton的大日子。

Anki only reacted when they sat down at the table. While the groom’s friends gave funny speeches, she looked sideways to the party on her right.

當(dāng)他們坐到桌邊時(shí)，Anki才反應(yīng)過(guò)來(lái)。當(dāng)新郎的朋友們發(fā)表有趣的講話時(shí)，她側(cè)身看了看右邊的聚會(huì)。

Suddenly, Tim’s head fell straight down to his chest. He closed his eyes for a moment before straightening his back and picking up the cutlery.

突然間，Tim的頭直直地落在了胸前。他閉上了眼睛，片刻后挺直了背，拿起了餐具。

What was that?

那是什么？

Right after dinner, Tim came over to his mother and gave her a long hug. He was so tired, he said, just jet lag. He and Racquel would go to bed.

晚飯后，Tim走到他媽媽身邊，給了她一個(gè)長(zhǎng)長(zhǎng)的擁抱。他說(shuō)他很累，只是因?yàn)闀r(shí)差問(wèn)題。他和Racquel要去睡覺(jué)了。

The party continued, Anton and his friends performed celebrated versions of Swedish classics such as ‘Gyllene Skor’ (‘Golden Shoes’) and ‘Jag vill vara din, Margareta’ (‘I Want To Be Yours, Margareta’), it was an enchanting wedding night.

派對(duì)繼續(xù)了下去，Anton和他的朋友們演唱了一些瑞典經(jīng)典歌曲的，比如Gyllene Skor和Jag vill vara din, Margareta，這是一個(gè)令人陶醉的新婚之夜。

But Anki had a hard time being fully present.

但是Anki很難完全專(zhuān)注于當(dāng)下。

Had Tim really fallen asleep there at the table? In the middle of dinner? And if so, why?

Tim真的在那張桌子上睡著了嗎？在晚餐期間？如果是這樣，為什么？

The next day it was as if nothing had happened. Tim was alert and clear-headed, in the back seat he cuddled with Racquel as they all drove together towards the airport. Later that Sunday night, Tim had two gigs booked in Ibiza.

第二天，仿佛什么都沒(méi)有發(fā)生一樣。Tim頭腦清醒，精神抖擻，在后座上與Racquel親昵地依偎在一起，一起坐車(chē)前往機(jī)場(chǎng)。那個(gè)星期天晚上，Tim在伊維薩島有兩場(chǎng)演出。

Klas and Anki checked into a hotel in Karlstad and talked about the previous day. It was difficult to take in what they had actually witnessed. The worst thing had been the eyes. That attentive and curious look that Tim used to have was gone. Instead, he had been dim and absent.

Klas和Anki入住了卡爾斯塔德的一家旅館，并談?wù)摿饲耙惶彀l(fā)生的事情。他們很難接受他們所親眼目睹的一切。最糟糕的是Tim的眼神。那種曾經(jīng)充滿專(zhuān)注和好奇的眼神已經(jīng)消失了。取而代之的是遲鈍和空洞。

His parents did not become much the wiser by talking about it, after a while they even doubted if anything had actually happened.

他的父母并沒(méi)有因?yàn)檎務(wù)撨@件事而變得更加明智，過(guò)了一段時(shí)間，他們甚至懷疑是否真的發(fā)生了什么。

Could they have been wrong?

也許他們錯(cuò)了？

After all, Tim had been in a great mood when they’d waved him off a few hours earlier. Playful and lively.

畢竟，幾個(gè)小時(shí)前他們與Tim揮手告別時(shí)，他的心情非常好，活潑而充滿玩味。

Maybe he’d just needed a good night’s sleep, especially now that he was rushing around between all the summer festivals?

也許他只是需要好好睡一覺(jué)，尤其是現(xiàn)在他正匆匆忙忙地奔波于各種夏季音樂(lè)節(jié)之間？

A week later, Tim and Racquel were lying on a hotel roof in Mallorca; Tim wanted to get some sun before the night’s work.

一周后，Tim和Racquel躺在馬略卡島一家酒店的屋頂上，Tim想在晚上的工作之前曬一會(huì)太陽(yáng)。

Since the wedding, he had done Mykonos and Marbella once more; he had pulled off a festival in Portugal and then one in Denmark. Maybe he had been to Italy too? Everything blended together.

自婚禮以來(lái)，他又去了米科諾斯和馬貝拉；他在葡萄牙參加了一次音樂(lè)節(jié)，然后又在丹麥參加了一次。也許他還去了意大利？一切都混在一起了。

Tim spoke to Arash on the phone. Racquel didn’t understand what they were saying, but heard the irritation in Tim’s voice. He was tired of the insane flying, here and there across continents: Israel on a Thursday, two gigs in Las Vegas on Saturday, the following week London and then back to the United States.

Tim和Arash在電話里交談。Racquel聽(tīng)不懂他們?cè)谡f(shuō)什么，但聽(tīng)得出Tim的聲音中帶著煩惱。他已經(jīng)厭倦了在不同大陸間來(lái)回飛行的瘋狂生活：周四在以色列，周六在拉斯維加斯演出兩場(chǎng)，接下來(lái)的一周要去倫敦，然后再回到美國(guó)。

‘I’m starting to hate this,’ Tim said when he hung up. ‘I hate performing. This wasn’t what I set out to do in the beginning.’

“我開(kāi)始討厭這個(gè)了，”Tim掛斷電話后說(shuō)道，“我討厭表演。這不是我一開(kāi)始想要做的。”

‘So, what is it that you want to do?’ Racquel asked.

“那么，你想做什么？”Racquel問(wèn)道。

‘I just wanna make music.’

“我只想做音樂(lè)?！?/span>