本章概述：

????????????伊莎萊受到了審判。

????????????In which Isarae is judged.

正文：

“情況正在失去控制?！?/p>

我盡全力克制著自己，但說出來的話還是帶著些許怒意。但亞歷桑德拉至少還是在醫(yī)療人員護(hù)理她的手腕時—后者正盡最大的努力忽視我在醫(yī)療區(qū)的存在—表現(xiàn)出了愧疚的樣子。

“那只是個意外，”亞歷莎堅(jiān)持道?！澳塞惿忝谜`判了局面?！?/p>

“她對你開槍了。”

“她沒有打中。”

“那是她槍法差！”我厲聲說道，亞歷莎登時瑟縮了一下。

醫(yī)療人員在我跟亞歷莎互瞪時完成了對她的手腕的包扎。我的目光對上了亞歷莎憤怒的盲視，緊張的氣氛一定已經(jīng)顯而易見，鑒于醫(yī)療人員一有機(jī)會離開就拔腿沖出了這件小診室。

“那只是個意外，‘萊，”亞歷莎咬緊牙關(guān)重復(fù)道。

“你若是技巧稍遜或不夠警覺，你此刻可能就已經(jīng)死了，”我回復(fù)道，內(nèi)心深處為之一緊。
“死在你摯愛的姐妹之一的手里?！?/p>

“但是我沒有，”亞歷莎說?！笆悄惆盐矣?xùn)練的這么出色的?！?/p>

“這種考驗(yàn)壓根就不應(yīng)該發(fā)生！”我怒吼道，聲音響亮到周圍的小器械都被震得嗡嗡作響。

不過并不只是這些工具受到了震動，亞歷莎猛地向后彈去，她牙關(guān)緊閉，空洞的雙眼大睜著，淚水短暫地在她的眼眶里泛起來又被迅速地忍了回去。

一股冷水順著我的脊梁骨澆了下來，我意識到自己都干了什么。

“亞——亞歷莎…”我抱住自己，閉上雙眼深呼吸了幾次。

憤怒。

我從未在過去的生活中感到過如此強(qiáng)烈的憤怒。它在我的血管中翻滾沸騰以至我?guī)缀鯚o法冷靜地思考。怒火如同燃燒的煤塊般卡在我的胸口，燒灼著我的心肺和喉嚨。恨意如電流擊穿我的肌肉，驅(qū)使我以殺戮來將之平息。

如果這就是血神的追隨者們所經(jīng)歷的，那我對他們的評價可能就太苛刻了。

可不僅僅只有憤怒，我還感受到了別的東西。

某種較之更為陌生的事物。

“對不起，”我哽咽著說?！拔也皇枪室夂鸬倪@么大聲的，我只是…”

亞歷莎的手搭在了我的胳膊上，輕撫著皮下繃緊的肌肉，然后她起身向我靠過來，把頭靠在了我的肩膀上。

我盡可能放松自己的雙臂，將她緊緊地抱在懷里，我把臉埋進(jìn)她的發(fā)間，深吸了一口她的芬芳。我?guī)状尾蛔〉仡澏?，在更緊地?fù)韥啔v莎入懷時震驚地發(fā)覺淚水從自己的臉頰上滑落。

“我也很抱歉，”亞歷莎輕聲說道?！拔冶緛聿辉摰粢暂p心的?！?/p>

“我很害怕，亞歷莎，”我抽泣著說?！澳愕姆N族是怎么在這種…恐懼中活下來的？”

我內(nèi)心的情感如同戰(zhàn)場。我無法掌控它們，任由它們?nèi)顼L(fēng)暴潮般沖擊著我。我感受到的太多太多。我覺得都有點(diǎn)過頭了。我的內(nèi)心被填的滿滿的…我如此深愛著亞歷莎，而一個小時前我?guī)缀跻驗(yàn)橐粋€意外而失去了她。

不是刺殺，不是戰(zhàn)死。

就只是一個意外。

如果不是安塔雷斯大人好心提醒，我恐怕得到早上才會知道我的摯愛被送去了醫(yī)務(wù)室。

從我能感受到這種令人麻痹的恐懼起已經(jīng)有多久了？這種讓我指尖麻木，呼吸停滯的恐懼？這種絲毫不遜于狂嚎女妖的靈能呼嘯的麻痹感？

我族的詛咒曾經(jīng)以一層層冷淡和憤世嫉俗保護(hù)我的內(nèi)心免受情感毒害，而它現(xiàn)在已經(jīng)被一道暴漏在外的傷口取代。之前，我只在自己的詛咒剛被解除時感受過短暫的寧靜，只是偶爾會擔(dān)心被阿蘇焉信徒注意到，而我用日復(fù)一日的巡邏將其平息了下去。然后襲擊發(fā)生了，但事情發(fā)生的太快，以至于我真的只能感受到戰(zhàn)斗的喜悅。

可現(xiàn)在…

“對不起，”亞歷莎又一次說道。“我上了達(dá)尼卡的套，我本不該這么做，我實(shí)在太蠢了?！?/p>

“我不能失去你，吾愛?！蔽乙Ьo牙關(guān)說道，然后松開了懷抱?！澳闶俏业娜?，亞歷莎，所以拜托…求求你，再小心些吧?！?/p>

房間門口傳來的一陣輕敲聲吸引了我的注意，烏泰娜大修女身著緊身服而非她的全套盔甲走了進(jìn)來，身邊跟著另一位我不認(rèn)識的女子。

她和烏泰娜形成了鮮明的對比。烏泰娜身型高挑，五官棱角分明，而她的同伴身材矮小一些，線條更為柔和。烏泰娜皮膚蒼白，目光銳利，而跟在她后面的女子膚色偏深，灰綠色的眼睛里較前者更為溫和。

根據(jù)她們之間的親密感，加上烏泰娜的同伴如此隨意地把手搭在大修女的肘彎里的樣子，她們之間的關(guān)系顯然不僅僅是簡單的親近。

“亞歷莎姐妹，我深表歉意，”烏泰娜低頭說道，臉上露出了苦澀的表情。“我本以為自己已經(jīng)說明了你不應(yīng)該受到煩擾，但看上去達(dá)尼卡的熱忱又一次沖在了她前頭?！?/p>

“我在挑釁了她這件事上也同樣有錯，尊敬的大修女，”亞歷莎轉(zhuǎn)過身去單膝行了個禮，輕聲說道。“我本不應(yīng)該被她的話語激怒?！?/p>

“就我所知她詆毀了你的名譽(yù)，”烏泰娜身后的女子說道，我被她輕若游絲的平和語調(diào)驚了一跳?！八龑εc你戰(zhàn)斗的渴望不遜于你，小姐妹，在這件事上你們都有過錯。”

“但達(dá)尼卡是故意找茬的，”烏泰娜陰沉地說?！拔覚z查了那個練習(xí)室，從地面和武器上的損傷來看，她壓根沒打算讓你站著離開房間?！彼⑽@了口氣，隨后又像是想起來什么一樣自顧自地笑出聲來?！安贿^我得道個歉…請?jiān)试S我介紹安琪亞大修女，我的搭檔和在這場戰(zhàn)爭中的同行?！?/p>

我在亞歷莎的身旁彎腰跪了下來，并行了天鷹禮。

“很榮幸能為您效勞，大修女?！蔽艺f。

“嗯…看來事情確實(shí)如此，”安琪亞以輕柔飄渺的嗓音說道?！吧窕实亩鞯涔鏌o窮無盡…這么多年以來，我從未想過能看到一個靈族在地球之主的仆人面前如此地真誠地欠身?！?/p>

我沒有什么可說的。大修女所言非虛。我的種族從來只展現(xiàn)出過目空一切的傲慢和對從我們釀成的大禍中吸取教訓(xùn)的排斥。我們對年輕的種族橫加批判，可后者的行為和鑄就的錯誤即使拉長千世萬代也無法與靈族造成的損害相比擬。

因此看到一個靈族帶著悔悟低頭看上去肯定很怪異。

“我唯祂的旨意是尊，”我低聲回答道。

“果真如此嗎？”安琪亞平靜地說著站到了我面前。

“這個嘛，吾愛？”烏泰娜說，一只手搭上安琪亞的肩膀。“你的眼光在評判他人這個方面一直勝于我…你怎么看？”

“只有神皇才有權(quán)評判，親愛的，”安琪亞苦笑著說?！暗谖铱磥恚还苷嫦嗳绾?，這個異族的心，或者說她所擁有的可以當(dāng)作心的東西，至少完全屬于亞歷桑德拉姐妹?！?/p>

“我的生命和靈魂都交付于神皇之手，”我頭也不抬地堅(jiān)定地說道。“但我的心只屬于亞歷莎。”

安琪亞大修女跪了下來，與我的高度平齊，然后向我伸出一只手，我只得強(qiáng)壓下我的抵觸。

我的雙手浸透了鮮血，但是亞歷莎憑她的寬容寬恕了我，即便知曉我的罪孽也對我一往而深。這位大修女不可能像亞歷莎那樣了解我，而讓我的臟手接近神皇純潔的忠仆是個令人作嘔的想法。

也許她感受到了我的猶豫，干脆直接伸出胳膊拉過我的手，領(lǐng)著我和亞歷莎站了起來。

像這樣站在這里看著她，我驚訝地發(fā)覺她比我一開始想的還要矮。又或者這只是出于她給人的柔和的感覺。她看上去更為嬌小也更有種曇花一現(xiàn)的感覺。這個女子和我見過的其他的修女相比幾乎沒什么共同點(diǎn)。

修女們，就像亞歷桑德拉那樣，似乎偏好那種強(qiáng)壯的體格。寬闊的肩膀和結(jié)實(shí)的后背是為了背負(fù)起人類帝國和它對神皇的信仰，這都是通過她們的意志和努力獲得的。

安琪亞似乎沒有太多這類特質(zhì)。這當(dāng)然不是在說她虛弱。我能看出她的身體很精壯，但她的形體確實(shí)格外纖細(xì)。

除了…

“真是奇怪，”安琪亞輕聲說，她的目光始終沒有離開過我的?！拔以诳拷愋螘r總會有一種下意識的排斥感，但我在你身邊時沒有感受到哪怕一點(diǎn)…相反，我感到了一種我解釋不清的親近感。”

“伊莎萊靈魂的高潔由地球之主護(hù)佑，尊敬的大修女，”亞歷莎補(bǔ)充說?！拔叶纺懖聹y，也許您所感覺到的正是祂的恩典？”

“也許確實(shí)如此，姐妹，”安琪亞帶著溫柔的微笑回答。“你很有智慧，即便你還很年輕?！?/p>

“不管怎么說，我們都得開始那個簡報了，”烏泰娜插嘴說?！拔以鞠胫苤辽侔堰@事推遲到明天，但看樣子是不可能了…我覺得最好還是現(xiàn)在就把事情解決了?！?/p>

“我同意，”安琪亞回復(fù)道，她松開了我們的手，然后轉(zhuǎn)向?yàn)跆┠?，一只手輕撫她瘦削的臉頰?！拔腋阏f過這件事晚做不如早做，親愛的?！?/p>

烏泰娜的嘴唇抿成了一條線?！暗拇_，我毫不懷疑下個十年里你會經(jīng)常跟我提起這件事?！?/p>

“只限你惹我生氣的時候，”安琪亞輕快的說著，漫不經(jīng)心地拍了拍烏泰娜的臉頰，然后從她身邊走了過去。

烏泰娜在安琪亞離開醫(yī)務(wù)室后長嘆了一口氣。她銳利的灰藍(lán)色雙眼微微地瞇了起來，她緩緩地深呼吸了幾次，然后閉上眼睛搖了搖頭。

“我的安琪亞真是令人受不了，可她又是那么的無懈可擊?！睘跆┠扔忠淮伪犻_眼睛，說道。“但她有著最為準(zhǔn)確的直覺，以及我所見過的與神皇最強(qiáng)的精神上的自然聯(lián)系，整個隱修院里沒有一個人會在私下里不信任她…她的信任票能大大安撫人們的騷動?！?/p>

“你是指你剛剛提到的簡報？”亞歷莎好奇地問道。

“的確，是面向整個隱修院的殘余軍力的匯報，”烏泰娜確認(rèn)道。

“如果我可以問的話，尊敬的大修女，”亞歷莎繼續(xù)說道，我認(rèn)出了她緊繃的下巴中蘊(yùn)含的擔(dān)憂。“這次匯報會是關(guān)于什么的？”

烏泰娜沒有回答，而是看向了我。

我對此不感意外。

“她們會要求處死她的！”亞歷莎尖叫道，隨后注意到了自己的失態(tài)?！啊笮夼?！”

“帝皇塔羅，以及其他的因素，都堅(jiān)稱你的靈族同伴會是我們勝利的關(guān)鍵，”烏泰娜回答道“如果我們要執(zhí)行祂的旨意，我們就不能把她藏起來…我們必須團(tuán)結(jié)一心，如我們本應(yīng)該的那樣?！?/p>

“她們會嘩變的，”亞歷莎直截了當(dāng)?shù)卣f。

“如果我們的紀(jì)律能松懈到如此地步，或許一場暴動也是應(yīng)得的，”烏泰娜平靜地反駁道?！暗埐灰?yàn)檫_(dá)尼卡一個人就如此評判我們整個隱修院的姐妹們。這對她們來說不公平?！?/p>

烏泰娜轉(zhuǎn)向了我，她又一次瞇起眼睛，上下打量著我，然后發(fā)問道：“我還需要擔(dān)心你向上級修女尋仇嗎？還是說向她的下屬們？”

說真的，我考慮過這么做，那個可惡的女人自她踏出VTOL起就沒讓我和亞歷莎有安生的時候。

不過，至少在那個時候，我能理解她的惡意。除了一個可能已經(jīng)失去理智的修女外，沒有人能為我擔(dān)保，更何況她之前還曾對她們?nèi)詣娱_火過。

可現(xiàn)在呢…

現(xiàn)在，達(dá)尼卡公然地違抗了她的上級的命令。她是個威脅。

對我的威脅。

對亞歷莎的威脅。

“如果我有權(quán)殺了她的話，我會這么做的，”進(jìn)過長時間的沉思后，我承認(rèn)道?！暗纳耸巧窕实呢泿?，只能由祂來決定…”我抬頭看向?yàn)跆┠?，與她針鋒相對?！拔也粫蛩龑こ?，尊敬的大修女，我發(fā)誓?？扇绻俅瓮{到了亞歷莎或者我自己，我不會像安塔雷斯大人所說的那樣放平我的劍鋒，就像亞歷莎做過的那樣。”

烏泰娜對此皺起了眉頭，但點(diǎn)了點(diǎn)頭。

“這樣就足夠了，”她輕嘆著回復(fù)道?！斑_(dá)尼卡已經(jīng)把我們置于一個微妙的境地…她很年輕，技藝出眾，也深受愛戴，但她的傲氣受到了打擊，“烏泰娜苦澀地笑了笑?！霸谒纳霞壭夼谌烨半E落后，她就被任命到了現(xiàn)在的級別上，而對你的搜救是她首次指揮的行動。”

聽到這些，亞歷莎鎖緊了眉頭，即便我也對這個年輕女子感到了一絲不同尋常的憐憫，即便她令我相當(dāng)火大。

那一定相當(dāng)屈辱。她的首秀被跳線手雷搞砸了，然后她又被一個明顯的異端和她的異形戀人所救。再然后，當(dāng)她試圖通過挑戰(zhàn)亞歷莎來取回一點(diǎn)僅有的驕傲?xí)r，又被揍得如此之慘，甚至在被打暈前都沒能命中哪怕一次。

盡管我所感受到的恐懼是如此揪心地沉重，我還是不能否認(rèn)自己對亞歷莎的戰(zhàn)斗天賦感到滿足的驕傲。

“現(xiàn)在她必須因抗命而接受申飭?！睘跆┠扔忠淮螕u了搖頭，呻吟道?！耙撬牡谝淮纬鰮羰菍Ω毒G皮就好了，她本應(yīng)發(fā)揮得很漂亮的?！?/p>

“我們無法選擇自己經(jīng)受的考驗(yàn)，只能選擇是否屈服?！蔽逸p聲說道，不過我的話讓烏泰娜露出了驚訝和惱怒的神色。

她的怒火只持續(xù)了一小會兒就變成了震驚。

“那是…那是圣阿拉貝拉的第四十條教理問答，“烏泰娜愣愣地說道。

“那的確是，”我附和道?！斑@聽起來很合時宜。”

“自伊莎萊蒙赦以來，她一直在研讀教理和伙友們的著作，尊敬的大修女，”亞歷莎插嘴道，站在了我們中間。“我們盡自己所能地從教堂里回收了能找到的書籍?！睹倒褰陶d》顯然就是其中之一?！?/p>

這本書篇幅很短，卻是我最喜歡的之一。在亞歷莎因高燒而昏睡的某個晚上我拿起了這本書，在接近黎明時分開始讀。我僅僅只用了幾個小時就讀完了它，自那時起我又重讀了上百遍。

我從來也沒想過人類能創(chuàng)造如此簡單的智慧，我很快就喜歡上了圣阿拉貝拉的著作。她以天馬行空又不失詼諧的文筆探討了信仰和死亡的本質(zhì)。富有激情又溫和細(xì)膩。她的著作中細(xì)微的幽默感讓我稍稍想到了亞歷莎。

我如饑似渴地閱讀了我們救回來的另外幾本她的作品。

《玫瑰教誨》。

《吾等忠嗣》。

《試煉，第八至第九章》。

就我所知在她逝去前她還寫完了《試煉》的另外兩章，我相當(dāng)想要閱讀更多她的作品，如果時間允許的話。

“我發(fā)現(xiàn)自己無話可說了，”烏泰娜仿佛第一次見到我似的說道?！安还茉鯓?，我已經(jīng)下令集結(jié)，而你，”她意味深長地看了我一眼，“你去后面的休息室里等候召喚，假設(shè)亞歷莎的擔(dān)憂是多余的話?！?/p>

“如果不是呢？”我問到。

烏泰娜沒有回答，只是平淡地看著我，嘴唇抿了起來。我默默地點(diǎn)了點(diǎn)頭。如果亞歷桑德拉是對的，那我唯一能做的就是逃離隱修院，抑或是被處死，如果真是那樣的話，亞歷莎也會與我同去的。

就算她的姐妹們沒有這么要求，我也知道她出于原則也會和我站在一起。

“跟我來，”過了一會兒，烏泰娜說道，然后轉(zhuǎn)身走出了醫(yī)療室。

亞歷莎和我隔了幾步后跟了上去。我試著走在亞歷莎的后面，就像我之前那樣，而同樣的，她沒有讓我這么做。她牽起我的手，讓我們十指交握，把我拉到她的身側(cè)。

“你不是我的仆人，”亞歷莎從嘴角輕聲說?！拔也粫屗齻儼涯惝?dāng)成我跟在我腳邊的什么馴化后的動物，‘萊?！?/p>

“我當(dāng)下的存在就是為了服從，這并不讓我感到困擾，”我回答道，目光低垂著，

就這樣，我差點(diǎn)在亞歷莎突然停下時并急轉(zhuǎn)身時撞上她，她乳白色的無神雙眼仍以某種方式怒目而視。她對我的手的抓握繃緊了一會兒，隨后怒火從她的身上消退了，我不是我唯一感受到這一點(diǎn)的人。

烏泰娜也轉(zhuǎn)過身來，她看向我們之間，眉頭在疑惑中皺了起來。

“你不是我的仆人，伊莎萊，”亞歷莎咬著牙說道?！拔覀兌际谭钌窕?，但你不是…”

她狠狠地吞下了后半截話，松開了我的手，然后抓住我的臉把我拉進(jìn)了一個狂野的吻中。我?guī)缀跄苈牭絹啔v莎不加掩飾地展現(xiàn)對我的愛戀之情時烏泰娜咬緊牙關(guān)的聲音。我想對于烏泰娜來說不去追問我們的關(guān)系的全貌還是來的容易些。只要她不問，那她就能更順滑地忽略掉這點(diǎn)。

很明顯亞歷莎不想忍受這些。

亞歷莎想要全世界都知道我們心心相印，去他的什么后果。隨著她向后退去，凝結(jié)在她眼眶邊緣的淚光讓我內(nèi)心一陣刺痛。

“你已經(jīng)跟我這樣講過了，我現(xiàn)在告訴你，”亞歷莎開口道?！耙辽R，我將你視若珍寶?！?/p>

她的話讓我心痛不已。當(dāng)下觸手可及的情感變得如此難以掌握。

淚水順著我的臉頰淌了下來。我覺得我明白了，明白了我的族人為何墮落至此。我甚至不奇怪于自己恐怕是大隕落以來我族第一個如此無所畏懼，也不擔(dān)心饑渴者的污點(diǎn)地去感受情感的人。

如此強(qiáng)烈地感受是一件危險的事。而我想，更危險的是我應(yīng)該如此熱烈地愛著。

我俯身，把我的前額靠在亞歷莎的額頭上，讓她用溫柔細(xì)膩的動作替我拭去臉上的淚水。

“我會陪著你去前廳，吾愛，”亞歷莎輕聲說?！澳阍谀抢锏任?。”

“如果結(jié)果不好該怎么辦？”我問。

“帝皇庇佑，”這便是亞歷莎唯一的，也是我想聽到的回答?！暗k的意志勢不可擋，我們必須對此有信心，‘萊。”

我恭敬地點(diǎn)了點(diǎn)頭，然后轉(zhuǎn)向大修女并單膝下跪，低頭用雙手比出了天鷹的形狀。

“我將侍奉，尊敬的大修女?！?/p>

“你最好如此，”烏泰娜從牙縫里擠出這句話來。

我并不怪罪她。目睹這般公然的示愛一定很煎熬。

我站起身與亞歷莎并肩同行，讓烏泰娜領(lǐng)著我們走向一扇沉重的雙開大門。盡管它們又大又沉，我還是能聽到門后微弱的交談聲。隱修院的全部戰(zhàn)力應(yīng)該已經(jīng)為了這次簡報匯聚于此。

“在那里等著，”烏泰安說著指了指旁邊的一扇小門?！叭绻闆r處理得當(dāng)，你會被召喚?！?/p>

“如你所言，尊敬的大修女，”我又一次鞠躬回應(yīng)。

在我離開亞歷莎身邊前，她抓住了我的手，把我拉近，然后踮起腳尖，在我的嘴唇上印下了一個短暫又溺愛的吻。

“為了好運(yùn)氣，”她微笑著說。

我迅速地和她擁抱了下，然后后退，對著大修女簡短地鞠了最后一躬，然后走進(jìn)了后方的接待室。當(dāng)我穿夠那扇大門時，我想，這跟走進(jìn)牢房里等待判決別無二致。

某種程度上講，這么說還挺貼切的。

這次簡報不僅僅是一次公告。它將決定我是與亞歷莎和她的姐妹們并肩作戰(zhàn)，還是說我的存在只會成為這個飽受戰(zhàn)火蹂躪的世界上另一個沖突的來源。

我走進(jìn)了接待室，心情沉重且緊張。房間內(nèi)設(shè)十分簡樸，實(shí)際上幾乎是空的。天花板上只有幾盞昏暗的燈用于照明，使得大部分墻壁和死角都隱藏在陰影中。

沒有其他的辦法，我走到房間中央光線最亮的地方，然后雙膝下跪，俯首直到額頭能碰到冰冷的地面。

“神皇呵，人類之父，我乃你謙卑的仆人，”我大聲念道?！拔嶂|殼與靈魂歸于禰，供禰趨使。若吾之生命可光復(fù)圣疆，那便如此。若吾之死亡可撫慰勇士…那邊如此。”

我緊閉雙眼，將火花鎖在眼瞼后面。

我當(dāng)下的祈禱很是粗笨。也許，如果簡報順利進(jìn)行，我會請其中一位更為和善的修女來教授我她們的儀式用語。我只能期盼我的呼喚能傳達(dá)到。

“有意思?！?/p>

從陰影中傳來了一陣深沉的嗓音，我在瞬息間向后翻滾，同時抽出了我的剃刀連枷和僅剩的一把毒晶手槍，就在那一剎那，一道如死亡幽魂般的身影從我右側(cè)的黑暗中浮現(xiàn)。它巨大無比，就像是一頭墓碑色的高聳巨獸，身披一件破爛不堪的喪服。一雙怨念的紅眼在罩袍的深處燃燒著打量我，我的身體在出擊的準(zhǔn)備中緊繃了很長一段時間，直到我意識到我正看著的究竟是什么，或者說，究竟是誰。

“安塔雷斯大人！”我趕緊放下武器，單膝跪地并低下頭去。

我怎么會沒有注意到他？這么巨大的存在不應(yīng)該被如此輕易地忽略，但這也不是我第一次這樣了。

“靈族的伊莎萊，”安塔雷斯整個人走進(jìn)光照中，我的呼吸為之一滯。他的身上有著某種微妙的不安感?！澳愕拇嬖谧韵嗝堋Ｄ闶且粋€靈族，因此也是一個帝國之?dāng)场欢阋彩且粋€展現(xiàn)了堅(jiān)定且熱忱的信仰的盟友?！?/p>

他以一種近乎捕食者的姿態(tài)繞著我轉(zhuǎn)起圈來，我不安地注意到，即使他穿著一身動力甲，但他幾乎沒有發(fā)出任何聲音。我在片刻之后明白了，我的腦后有一陣微弱的尖嘯聲。我的牙齒邊緣的響起了熟悉的低鳴。

“聽覺阻隔器，”我低聲說?！八麄儽磺哆M(jìn)了你的護(hù)甲，對嗎？”

“我的戰(zhàn)甲的受祝機(jī)魂確實(shí)是個安靜的存在，”安塔雷斯微微頷首。“我的兄弟們和我，以及我們圣潔的武備，在以此為例的許多方面都心有靈犀?！?/p>

“如果您愿意原諒我的唐突，天使大人…”我說道一半時垂下目光，然后等待著，經(jīng)過片刻的沉默后他輕哼了一聲以示同意。“謝謝你，大人…那么我敢夸口說，在這個黑暗的銀河中，我是一名卓越的戰(zhàn)士，很少有人能與我匹敵，更少有人能夠偷襲我，但您已經(jīng)成功了兩次。”

“我們都有自己的秘密，靈族，”安塔雷斯的話中帶著通訊格柵的嘶聲?！拔业膽?zhàn)團(tuán)的基因之父在隱蔽行動的藝術(shù)上登峰造極，我能說的就這么多?！?/p>

“那是自然，”我順從地點(diǎn)了點(diǎn)頭。

安塔雷斯大人繼續(xù)靜默地行動。他又繞著我緩緩地轉(zhuǎn)了三圈，最終停在了我的面前，而我只能通過他的罩袍在我身前輕輕擺動的聲音來判斷他的確這么做了。

然后他跪了下來，伸出了一只手。他寬大的手掌覆蓋著陶鋼，中間放著一個有著綠色鏡片的小銅球。某種記錄儀，我想，然后我小心地抬起頭來，疑惑地看著天使大人。

“拿起它，”他的嗓音沉靜得令我脊背生寒。“里面只有七秒鐘的錄像。拿起它，然后看完。”

不知為何，這個念頭讓我有些惡心。那個剛才還看似無害的記錄儀在我心底激起了深深的像是恐懼的東西。

但我不能抗命。天使大人，一名神皇的子嗣，命令我拿起錄像并觀看，那我就會這么做。

“如你所言，大人，”我念道，然后伸手從他面前拿起了記錄儀。它在他的手中顯得很小，但在我手里則又大又沉。

它是人類制造的粗糙但實(shí)用的諸多物品的一個典型，但即便如此它的形制中也有著某種簡單的美。我只用了一會兒時間就弄清了如何使用它，但一旦我這么做了，打開和激活錄像機(jī)只是一瞬間的事情。鏡頭閃爍起來，然后發(fā)出一道深綠色的全息光流。

最初的幾秒是一陣快速的運(yùn)動，盡管沒有聲音，我的眼睛還是認(rèn)出了這是一場戰(zhàn)斗。

第四秒顯示戰(zhàn)斗放緩，戰(zhàn)士們的動作停了下來，然后——

我的心臟幾乎在胸腔里停止了跳動。

無論是從誰的視角看起我都在盯著某個人。一個苗條、強(qiáng)大、熟悉的身影，她正笑著。她幾乎赤身裸體，渾身覆蓋著血污，她仰天狂笑，然后突然觸電一般狂暴地沖了過來。

錄像戛然而止。停頓，然后重新開始播放。

我在再一次看到那些惡毒的影像前關(guān)閉了記錄儀。我低下頭把這個設(shè)備還給了安塔雷斯，我的胸中滿是罪惡和悔恨。

“這段記錄十分古老，”安塔雷斯聲如洪鐘?！斑@份副本來自二連長瓦迪許的最后影像，將近九百年前，在他于保護(hù)神皇圣殿時被某個無名巫靈殺害后回收自他的頭盔?！?/p>

我蜷縮起來，從一個膝蓋到兩個一起，然后雙手照地，面對金屬地板，我的淚水奪眶而出。

“我第一次看到你時就覺得你似曾相識，但記憶卻很模糊，”他平靜地說道?！坝谑俏蚁蛭业膽?zhàn)團(tuán)在軌道上的戰(zhàn)艦發(fā)送了一條請求，查詢到了瓦迪許隕落的錄像副本以便回憶?！?/p>

我的嘴巴張張合合。每一次我都想說些什么，但話語在能連成串前就卡在了嘴邊，因?yàn)槊恳痪湓挾急壬弦痪涓由n白無力，哪怕是在我自己的腦海里。

“瓦迪許連長的高超技藝在我的戰(zhàn)團(tuán)中堪稱傳奇?！卑菜姿沟目纂S著他起身而低聲咆哮起來，他的身影又一次冰冷地打在我身上?！八乃朗且粋€悲劇…更糟的是他的尸體一直都沒能被回收，除了他的頭盔和裝在里面的頭顱?！?/p>

我努力吞下一口唾沫，我的指甲在渾身的震顫中刺耳地刮著地板。

“所以告訴我，靈族的伊莎萊。你已經(jīng)殺了多少我的兄弟？”

?

原文：

“This is getting out of hand.”

I spoke the words with as much restraint as I could muster, although they still came out with anger. At least Alessandra had the good grace to look ashamed of herself as the medicae worked on her wrist while doing her utmost to ignore my presence in the medical wing.

“It was an?accident,” Alessa insisted. “Sister Nalissa misread the situation.”

“She shot you.”

“She?missed.”

“Then she shot you?poorly!” I snapped, and Alessa flinched.

The medicae completed the binding on Alessa’s wrist as we glared at one another. I met Alessa’s blind, angry glare with one of my own, and the tension must have been palpable because as soon as the medicae was able, she all but sprinted from the small examination room.

“It was an accident, ‘Rae,” Alessa repeated, her jaw tight.

“Had you been less skilled or less aware, you would be dead right now,” I replied, my gut clenching at the thought. “Dead at the hands of one of your beloved sisters.”

“But I am not,” Alessa said. “You trained me better than that.”

“It ought never to have been tested!” I roared, and the volume rattled the small metal tools on the nearby counter.?

They were not the only thing rattled, though. Alessa jerked back, her jaw clamped shut and blank eyes wide as tears formed very briefly in them before she managed to blink them away.

Ice water sluiced down my spine as I realised what I’d done.

“A-Alessa, I…” I closed my eyes and took several deep breaths as I wrapped my arms around myself.

Rage.

I cannot remember ever feeling such manifold?rage?in my life. It was red hot and boiling in my veins such that I could barely think straight. It was a lump of lit coal lodged in my chest, burning my lungs and heart and throat. It was electric hate coursing through my muscles and demanding that I kill to satisfy it.

Perhaps I have been too harsh in my judgments of the Blood God’s followers if this is what they experienced.

More than rage though, I realise, I felt something else.

Something even more alien.

“I’m sorry,” I choked the words out shakily. “I did not mean to shout, I’m just…”

Alessa’s hand settled on my arm and rubbed at the tense muscles beneath the skin as she stood, pressed against me, and laid her head on my shoulder.

With as much care as I could manage, I relaxed my arms and slid them around her, pulling her closer and burying my face against her hair to breathe deeply of her scent. I shivered several times, and to my shock I found tears slipping down my cheeks as I tightened my embrace on Alessa.

“I’m sorry, too,” Alessa said quietly. “I shouldn’t have made light of it.”

“I was scared, Alessa,” I sobbed. “How do your kind live with this… this?fear?”

My emotions were a warzone in my heart. I had no grasp on them, they simply hammered at me like stormtides. I felt so much. Too much, I thought. My heart was too full… I loved Alessa so much, and an hour ago I had very nearly lost her to an accident.

Not an assassination, not cut down in battle.

An?accident.

And I would not have even known about it til the morning had Lord Antares not been kind enough to call on me and inform me that my beloved was in the medicae halls.

How long has it been since I felt this kind of numbing terror? The kind that steals the feeling from my fingers, and the breath from my lungs? The kind that paralyses no less than the psychic wail of a Banshee?

The curse of my kind that once armoured my heart against the depths of emotion with layer upon layer of apathy and cynicism was gone and in its place a raw wound was left open to the air. Prior to this, I had only known a short time of peace after my curse was lifted, punctuated by stabs of concern that the Asuryani might have noticed it which I soothed with my patrols. Then there was the attack, but in all it happened too quickly for me to really feel anything beyond the joy of battle.

Now, though…

“I’m sorry,” Alessa said again. “I rose to Danika’s bait and I shouldn’t have, it was foolish of me.”

“I cannot lose you, my heart.” I bit the words out as I pulled back. “You are my everything, Alessa, so please…?please,?be more careful.”

A soft rapping of knuckles from the threshold of the chamber drew my attention as Canoness Utena, clad in a bodyglove rather than her full armour stepped inside, followed by another woman I did not recognise.

She and Utena were a study in opposites; where Utena was tall and sharp-featured, her companion was a full head shorter and made up of soft lines. Where Utena was pale, with a piercing gaze, the woman behind her was dark-skinned, with gray-green eyes that held something far more gentle.

And from the closeness of them, and the way Utena’s companion so casually rested her hand in the crook of the Canoness’s arm, it was clear their relationship was more than just close.

“Sister Alessa, you have my deepest apologies,” Utena said with a grimace, bowing her head as she spoke. “I had thought I’d made it clear that you were to remain unmolested, but it seems Danika’s zeal has once again ran ahead of her.”

“I was just as guilty in provoking her, honored Canoness,” Alessa said quietly as she turned from me to drop to a knee and bow. “Her words ought not to have stoked my temper so.”

“My understanding is that she impugned your honor,” the woman behind Utena said, and I was struck by the quiet, almost breathy quality of her voice. “She wished the fight no less than you did, little Sister, in that manner you are both at fault.”

“Danika wanted the excuse, though,” Utena said grimly. “I examined the sparring chamber, and from the damage inflicted on both floor and weapon it was clear she had no intention of letting you walk out of that room.” She sighed quietly, then seemed to realise something before chuckling to herself. “But I apologise… allow me to introduce Canoness Anthia, my partner and counterpart in this war.”

I took a knee beside Alessa and bowed, making the sign of the Aquila as I did.

“It is my honor to serve, Canoness,” I said.

“Hm, so it’s true, then,” Anthia said in the light, airy tone. “Truly the God-Emperor’s grace is infinite… never in all my years would I have imagined I would see an Eldar honestly humble herself before a servant of Him On Earth.”

There was nothing for me to say. The Canoness was not wrong. My kind had shown only blind hubris and a total unwillingness to learn from our terrible mistakes. We stood in judgment over younger races whose actions and mistakes could never, in a thousand lifetimes, measure up to the damage the Aeldarii had caused.

So seeing one bow in contrition must have truly seemed strange.

“I serve as He directs,” I replied quietly.

“Is that so?” Anthia spoke the words calmly as she stood over me.

“Well, my love?” Utena said, laying a hand on Anthia’s shoulder. “Your eyes have always been better than mine in the judgment of others… what say you?”

“Only the God-Emperor may judge, dear one,” Anthia replied wryly. “But it is my humble opinion that whatever the truth of the matter, this xeno’s heart, or whatever she possesses which passes for one, belongs wholly to Sister Alessandra at the very least.”

“My life and soul rests in the hands of His Divine Majesty,” I said firmly without raising my head. “But my heart is Alessa’s alone.”

Canoness Anthia knelt to my level and held out a hand, and I had to swallow back a denial.

My hands were slick with blood, but Alessa, in her grace, had forgiven me and loved me without reserve even knowing my sins. This Canoness could not know what Alessa knew, and the thought of putting my filthy hands near so pure a servant of the God-Emperor was a gut-wrenching notion.

Perhaps she sensed my reticence because she reached out and took my hand anyway, pulling me to my feet and guiding Alessa up at the same time.

Standing here, looking over her like this, I was struck by the fact that Anthia was actually shorter than I’d thought initially. Or perhaps it was simply the softness of her. She seemed smaller, and at the same time more ephemeral. There was very little that this woman had in common with any of the other sisters I’d seen.

The Sororitas, like Alessandra, seemed to favor more powerful builds. Broad shoulders and strong backs made to bear the weight of the Imperium of Mankind and its faith in the God-Emperor were theirs by virtue of will and work.

Anthia possessed few of these qualities. Not to say she was weak, of course. From what I could see of her body it was lean with muscle, but her frame was an exceptionally willowy one.

Except…

“How strange,” Anthia said softly, her eyes never wavering from mine. “I have always felt an instinctual revulsion to the xeno when I’m near them, but I feel none of that near you… rather, I feel a kinship that I cannot properly account for.”

“The sanctity of Isarae’s soul is guarded by Him On Earth, honored Canoness,” Alessa chimed in. “I humbly submit that perhaps it is His grace which you feel?”

“That may very well be, Sister,” Anthia replied with that gentle smile of hers. “There is wisdom in you, despite your youth.”

“Either way, a debrief must commence,” Utena said, cutting in. “I had hoped we could at least save this for tomorrow, but it seems that won’t be possible… best to get it out of the way now, I suppose.”

“I agree,” Anthia replied as she released our hands and turned to Utena, putting a hand on her narrow cheek. “I told you it would be best to do this sooner rather than later, beloved.”

Utena’s lips pressed to a thin line. “Aye, and I have no doubt I shall be reminded of it for the next decade.”

“Only when you’ve upset me,” Anthia said brightly, patting Utena’s cheek nonchalantly before stepping past her.

Utena let out a long-suffering sigh as Anthia left the medicae chambers. Her sharp, silver-blue eyes narrowed as she took several long, slow breaths in and out, then closed her eyes, and shook her head.

“As insufferable as she is unimpeachable, is my Anthia,” Utena said after opening her eyes again. “But she has the sharpest instincts and the greatest natural, spiritual connection with the God-Emperor I’ve ever seen, and there are none of the Priory who do not trust her implicitly… her vote of confidence will go a long way towards soothing unrest.”

“In the debrief you mentioned?” Alessa asked cautiously.

“To the entirety of the Priory’s remaining military force, yes,” Utena confirmed.

“If I may ask, honored Canoness,” Alessa continued, a faint tightness forming at her jaw that I recognised as worry. “What will the debrief be regarding?”

Rather than reply, Utena simply turned to look at me.

That did not surprise me.

“They will demand her execution!” Alessa snarled, before remembering herself- “Canoness!”

“The Emperor’s Tarot, among other elements, all insist that your Eldar is key to our victory,” Utena replied. “If we are to prosecute His will, then we cannot hide her… we must be united as one, as we are meant to be.”

“They will?riot,” Alessa said flatly.

“If our discipline is so lax, perhaps a riot is deserved,” Utena countered calmly. “But do not judge the whole of our Priory sisters by Danika. It is an unfairness to them.”

Turning to me, Utena narrows her eyes again and looks me up and down before asking: “Need I concern myself with you seeking vengeance upon the Sister Superior? Or her subordinate?”

In truth, I had considered it. The wretched woman had caused Alessa and I nothing but grief since the moment she had stepped off the VTOL ramp.

At least in that moment, I understood her vitriol, though. I was unvouched for by any but a potentially unhinged Sister who had recently opened fully automatic bolter fire on them.

But now…

Now, Danika has willfully defied the orders of her superiors. She was a threat.

A threat to me.

A threat to?Alessa.

“Were I free to kill her I would,” I admitted after a long, pensive moment. “But her life is the coin of the God-Emperor, to be spent by Him alone…” I looked up at Utena before I continued, meeting her eyes sharply. “I will not seek her out, honored Canoness, that I promise, but if she threatens Alessa or myself again, I will not turn my blade flat as the Lord Angel claims Alessa did.”

Utena grimaced at that, but nodded.

“That will suffice,” she replied with a quiet sigh. “Danika has put us in a delicate situation… she is young, skilled, and well-liked, but her pride is battered,” Utena gave a grim chuckle. “She is newly appointed to her rank after her Sister Superior fell three cycles ago, and your retrieval was her first sortie in command.”

Alessa winced at that, and even I felt an uncharacteristic stab of pity for the young woman, furious though she made me.

It must have been humiliating. To have her first command be crippled by haywire grenades only to be saved by an apparent heretic and her xenobreed lover. Then, when she faced Alessa to reclaim some modicum of that pride, to be beaten so soundly that she was unable to land even a single blow before being knocked insensible.

Despite the heart-clenching weight of fear I had been feeling, I could not deny a satisfying swell of pride in Alessa battle talents.

“Now she must face censure for defying orders.” Utena shook her head again and groaned. “Would that her first sortie could have been met with Greenskins, she would have fared beautifully.”

“We do not choose the trials by which we are tested, only whether or not we succumb.” I spoke softly, but my words drew a look of surprise and anger from Utena.

The anger lasted only a moment before fading into shock.

“That… That was the Fortieth Catechism of Saint Arabella,” Utena said hollowly.

“It was,” I agreed. “It seemed apt.”

“Isarae has been studying the primer and the works of the Companions since her salvation, honored Canoness,” Alessa interjected, stepping between us. “We reclaimed what tomes from the chapel that we could. The Catechism of Roses was among them, obviously.”

It was a short book, but one of my favorites. I’d picked it up one night while Alessa was slumbering through her fever and began reading it near dawn. I’d finished it in only a handful of hours later, and have since reread it almost a hundred times.

I never imagined humans could produce such simple wisdom, and I quickly found myself loving the works of Saint Arabella in particular. Her writings were whimsical and mused on the natures of faith and mortality. Temper and temperance. There was a subtle humor to them that reminded me a little of Alessa.

I devoured what others of her texts we had salvaged voraciously.

The Catechism of Roses.

We Faithful Daughters.

Tribulations, VIII-IX.

I understand there are two more volumes of?Tribulations?that she penned prior to her vanishing, and I very much hoped to read more of her works if time permitted.

“I find myself at a loss for words,” Utena said, looking at me as though seeing me for the first time. “Regardless, I’ve given the order to muster and you,” she gives me a pointed look, “shall wait in the rear antechamber to be called, assuming Alessa’s concerns are unfounded.”

“And if they are not?” I asked.

Rather than respond, Utena only gave me a flat look as she pressed her lips to a thin grimace. I nodded my silent assent. If Alessandra was correct, then my only recourse would be to flee the Priory, or be put to death, and if that were the case then Alessa would join me.

Even if her sisters did not demand it, I know that she would choose to join me on principle.

“Follow me,” Utena said after a moment, then turned and stepped out of the medicae chamber.

Alessa and I trailed a few paces behind her. I attempted to move behind Alessa, as I had prior to this, but as before, she didn’t let me. She took my hand, linked our fingers, and drew me up to her side.

“You are not my servant,” Alessa said quietly through the side of her mouth. “I will not have them think you some tamed animal who stays at my heel, ‘Rae.”

“My existence is one of subservience now, this does not trouble me,” I replied, keeping my eyes downcast.

As such, I nearly struck Alessa when she jerked to a sudden stop and whirled on me, somehow managing a blazing glare despite her milky gaze. Her grip on my hand tightened for a moment, and anger rolled off of her, and I was not the only one who felt it.

Utena turned as well, her brow furrowed in confusion as she looked between us.

“You are?not?my servant, Isarae,” Alessa said tightly. “We serve the God-Emperor, but you are not…”?

She swallowed hard, let go of my hand, and gripped my face to pull me down into a furious kiss. I could practically hear Utena’s jaw tighten as Alessa unabashedly showed her affection for me. I supposed it was easier for Utena to simply not ask or question the full nature of our relationship. If she did not ask, then she could more readily ignore it.

Clearly that was not something Alessa was willing to let stand.

Alessa wanted the world to know that our hearts were entwined, and damn the consequences. As she pulled back from me, a faint twinge of pain settled in my heart at the glitter of tears which swam on the edges of her eyes.

“You have told me thus, and now I say to you,” Alessa began. “Isarae, you are?precious?to me.”

My heart ached at her words. Emotions, now so near, have become difficult to handle.?

Tears trickled down my cheeks. I understand, I think, how my kind fell to debauchery. I would not wonder that I might be the very first of my kind since the Fall to feel boldly and without fear, and without the taint of the Thirst.

To feel so intensely and so powerfully is a dangerous thing. Far more dangerous, I think it might be, that I should love so fiercely.

Bowing to rest my forehead against Alessa’s, I let her wipe the tears from my cheeks with fond and careful touches.

“I will walk you to the antechamber, my love,” Alessa said quietly. “You will wait for me there.”

“And if this should end poorly?” I asked.

“The Emperor Protects,” was Alessa’s only, and expected answer. “His Will be done in all things, we must have faith in that, ‘Rae.”

I nodded dutifully, then turned to the Canoness and took a knee, lowering my head as I laced my fingers together in the sign of the Aquila.

“I serve, honored Canoness.”

“See that you do,” Utena spoke sharply, and through gritted teeth.

I do not blame her. It must have been difficult to witness such blatant affection.

Standing, I walked alongside Alessa as she trailed Utena who guided us towards a large set of heavy double doors. Despite their weight and heft, I could hear the faint hum of conversation beyond it. The full weight of the Priory’s war forces have likely been gathered for this debrief.

“Wait in there.” Utena said, gesturing to a smaller door off to the side. “You will be summoned when and if things are managed well enough.”

“As you say, honored Canoness,” I replied with another bow.

Before I can move past her, Alessa seizes my hand and draws me back, goes up on her toes, and presses her lips to mine in a short, playfully doting kiss.

“For luck and fortune,” she said, smiling.

I drew her into a quick embrace before stepping back, sketching a short and final bow to the Canoness, then proceeding into the rear antechamber. It was, I reflected as I passed through the wide door, not unlike going into a cell to await sentencing.

In a sense, that wasn’t inaccurate.

The debriefing was more than just an announcement. It was the determination of whether or not I would fight alongside Alessa and her sisters, or if my existence would prove to be only one more source of conflict on this war torn world.

I stepped inside the antechamber, pensive and nervous. It was spartan, almost bare actually. There were only a few dim luminators on the ceiling which lit the room poorly, leaving much of the walls and corners in shadows.

Lacking any other recourse, I went to the center of the chamber where the light was strongest, knelt on both knees, and bowed until my forehead kissed the cold floor plates.

“God-Emperor, Father of Mankind, I am your humble servant,” I muttered aloud. “My body and soul art thine, to wield as thou see’st fit. If by my life, I wouldst make whole thy sacred domain, so it shall be. If by my death I wouldst bring peace to thy warriors… so it shall be.”

I clenched my eyes shut hard enough for sparks to bloom behind the lids.

My prayers are clumsy things for now. Perhaps, if the debrief goes well, I shall ask one of the more amiable sisters to instruct me in their ritual tongue. I can only hope that my calls are heard.

“Interesting.”

A sonorous voice rumbles from the shadows, and in an instant I’ve rolled backward and in the same instant drawn both my razorflail and my remaining splinter pistol just as a figure like a looming specter of death itself folds out of the darkness to my right. It’s huge, a towering behemoth the colour of gravestone, and wrapped in a ragged mourning shroud. Two baleful red eyes burn in the depths of the shroud as they measure me, and my body is screaming for to strike out for a long, thready moment before I realise what, or rather who, it is that I’m looking at.

“Lord Antares!” I drop my weapons and take a knee, bowing my head sharply.

How had I not noticed him? Nothing so immense should be so easy to miss, but this wasn’t the first time I’d done so.

“Isarae of the Aeldari.” Antares steps fully into the light, and my breath catches. There’s something subtly unsettling about him. “You are a contradiction in terms. You are Eldar, and therefore a foe of the Imperium… Yet you are an ally who has shown the fervor of true and unflinching faith.”

He circles me in an almost predatory fashion, and I note with some discomfort that despite his power armour, he makes almost no sound. I realise why that is a moment later. There’s a faint whine in the back of my head. A buzz around the edges of my teeth that is familiar.

“Aural dampeners,” I said quietly. “They are built into your armour, aren’t they?”

“The blessed machine spirit of my wargear is a quiet one,” Antares replied with a small nod. “My brothers and I, and our sacred armaments, are of like mind and soul, in this manner and many others.”

“If you would pardon my queries, Lord Angel…?” I kept my gaze down as I trailed off, and waited, and after a brief pause he gave a quiet grunt of assent. “Thank you, Lord… then I would I flatter myself to say that I am a superlative warrior and in this dark galaxy there are few who are my direct equal, fewer still who can sneak up on me, and yet you have done so twice.”

“We all have our secrets, Eldar,” Antares spoke with a vox-grated grind. “The genefather of my chapter is one for whom the art of silence and stealth has ever come easily and quickly, and that is all I shall say.”

“Of course,” I bobbed my head in a small, secondary bow.

The quiet motion of Lord Antares continued. He circled me another three times, and slowly, before finally stopping in front of me, and I only knew for certain that he had done so because of the faint flap of his shroud before me.

Then he knelt, and held out his hand. His palm was broad and clad in ceramite, and resting at the center of it was a small, brassy sphere with a green lens built into it. A recorder of some kind, I thought, and I tentatively raised my head to regard the Lord Angel quizzically.

“Take it,” he spoke with a deadly stillness to his voice that put a shiver down my spine. “There are only seven seconds of recording within. Take it, and watch.”

For some reason, that notion seemed abhorrent to me. The recorder, which seemed so innocuous a moment ago, now lodged something like fear deep in my heart.

But I could not disobey. The Lord Angel, a son of His Divine Majesty, commanded me to take the recording and to watch it, and so I would.

“As you say, Lord,” I muttered as I reached out and took the recording from him. It seemed so small in his hand, but in mine it was large and heavy.

It’s a typical example of humanity’s crude but functional artifice, but despite that there was a certain simple beauty in its craft. It took me only a moment to discern the method of using it, but once I did it was the work of a heartbeat to turn the dials and activate the recorder. The lens flickered and flashed, then spilled out a stream of holographic light washed in shades of deep ocean green.?

The first few seconds were a frenetic flurry of motion, and while there was no sound, my eyes tracked the pattern of a battle.

The fourth second showed the battle slowing as the combatants came to a rest, and then-

My heart nearly stilled in my chest.

Whomever’s eyes I was viewing from was looking at someone. A figure; lithe, powerful, and familiar, and she was?laughing.?Her body was nearly bare and slick with gore, and she had her head thrown back in raucous mirth before jerking forward in a spasmodic and violent charge forward.

And then the recording froze. Stuttered. And began again.

I flicked the recording off before I could see the poisonous images contained within it again. My chest was tight with guilt and hatred as I lowered my head and held out the device to Antares so he would take it from me.

“This recording is ancient,” Antares booms. “It is a copy of the final moments of Second Company Captain Vadish, recovered from his helm after he was slain in defense of a Holy Shrine of the God-Emperor by an unknown Wych almost nine hundred years ago.”

Tears spilled from my eyes as I curled in on myself, going from one knee, to both, and prostrating myself with palms flat on the floor and my face against the metal floor plates.

“I had thought you seemed familiar, if only in the vaguest sense, when I first laid eyes on you,” he continued calmly. “So I sent a query to my chapter’s vessel in orbit and requested a copy of the Demise of Vadish to refresh my memory.”

I opened and closed my mouth several times. Each time I wanted to say something, but the works choked and died before they could emerge because each one sounded more hollow than the last, even in my own head.

“The skill of Captain Vadish is legendary within my Chapter.” Antares’s armour growled softly as he stood, and his shadow fell coldly over me once more. “His death was a tragedy… much worse that his body was never recovered, only his helm and the head within.

I swallowed hard, and my nails cracked and screeched against the floor as I shook.

“So tell me, Isarae of the Eldar. How many of my brothers have you slaughtered?”

????