Against the background of rising prevalence of social networking between parents and children, many discussions have been made in regard to whether communication via social apps deepens or undermines the kinship and trust between parents and their children. Researchers at Brigham University carry out relevant experiments and reach the conclusion that online communication plays a constructive role in developing a more positive and closer parent-child connection, which helps reduce the teenagers’ undesirable conducts like delinquency and depression. However, the opponents argue that online communication should give way to real-life communication in that online texting lacks the interaction through voice and body language, which they think is the key to the building of mutual honesty and trust. Personally, I think both ways of communication have their own advantages, but what decides the success of communication lies not in the means, but the sincerity and respect the parents deliver during the process.

First of all, the research result by the BYU research team is tenable. In China, thanks to the social apps, millions of left-behind children and boarding-school students are able to receive the love, care, encouragement, and advice from their parents, who they often cannot meet face-to-face for months, on a stable basis. Unquestionably, this is beneficial to the children’s mental well-being and the family relationship. Also, before social apps emerged, real-life communication had already been proved widely effective in the thousands of years of human history. However, both means share some disadvantages caused by the lack of sincerity and respect. The fact is, in whatever case, children will naturally keep themselves aloof from their parents once they find that their privacy and personality are not truly respected. Children typically feel disgusted when they suddenly find their parents’ stalking or preachy comments on their online posts. It is not because that they do not want to share their feelings and experience with their parents but that they feel the pressure of being thrown under the parents’ control by such behaviors. Similarly, children living with their parents usually feel frustrated when their parents intrude into their private lives with the reason of “it’s for your own good”.

Therefore, there is no need to hesitate over which means is better for enhancing a parent-child relation. As long as you let your children know that you are communicating with sincerity and respect instead of exerting control, they will also trust you, respect your care and voice, and share their innermost thoughts with you regardless of whatever means you are using to contact them.