I?was?an?extremely?nervous?and?shy?kid,?the?type?that?hid?behind?their?mom?to?avoid?any?social?interaction.

My?first?day?of?grade?one?was?a?complete?nightmare.

My?dad?dropped?me?at?school?and?I?begged?him?to?go?to?class?with?me.

I?couldn't?stand?the?thought?of?being?alone?in?a?room?full?of?strangers.

I?cried?and?cried?until?he?said?yes.

Turns?out?I?was?the?only?kid?in?class?with?a?parent?sitting?beside?me?holding?my?hand.

It?seemed?like?the?older?I?got,?the?worse?my?anxiety?became.

I?began?to?get?more?and?more?anxious?to?do?things.

I?never?raised?my?hand?in?class?in?fear?of?being?wrong?and?everyone?laughing?at?me.

One?day?the?teacher?called?on?me?to?answer?the?question,?and?I?sat?there?shaking?and?sweating?in?my?seat,?trying?to?form?the?words?I?wanted?to?say.

Finally,?my?answer?came?out?as?a?stutter?and?a?few?people?chuckled?beside?me.

And?yes,?I?ended?up?being?right,?but?it?took?so?much?effort?out?of?me.

In?grade?8,?we?started?to?do?a?lot?of?presentations?in?class.

I?would?always?memorize?what?I?needed?to?say,?but?the?moment?I?stood?in?front?of?the?class?I?would?forget?everything.

I?would?stand?up?there?completely?paralyzed.

There?was?this?one?time?when?my?teacher?called?me?up?to?the?front?of?the?class?to?present,?and?as?I?was?walking?up?I?tripped?over?someone's?foot,?knocked?over?the?projector,?and?landed?right?on?my?face.

I?stood?up?as?fast?as?I?could?and?ran?to?the?girls'?bathroom?to?cry.

I?felt?like?I?was?always?embarrassing?myself.

Even?school?dances?were?a?struggle.

I?would?stand?against?a?wall?while?everyone?had?a?good?time.

Eventually?high?school?rolled?around,?and?my?anxiety?continued?to?hold?me?back.

I?struggled?to?meet?new?people?so?I?would?sit?in?the?library?to?eat?my?lunch.

There?were?even?a?few?times?when?the?library?was?full?and?I?had?to?eat?in?a?washroom?stall.

I?began?developing?a?fear?for?being?in?crowded?spaces.

I?could?only?sit?in?a?packed?classroom?for?a?certain?amount?of?time?before?I?had?to?get?up?and?leave.

So?I?had?to?go?see?a?guidance?counselor?to?tell?her?what?was?wrong,?and?she?gave?me?these?slips?of?paper?that?I?could?give?my?teacher?whenever?I?was?feeling?an?anxiety?attack?coming?on,?and?he?would?excuse?me?from?the?classroom?without?asking?any?questions.

This?helped?me,?but?people?started?to?wonder?why?I?left?the?classroom?so?frequently.

People?thought?I?was?extremely?strange.

The?only?way?I?can?explain?an?anxiety?attack?to?you?is?a?feeling?of?not?being?able?to?breathe.

Like?something?is?pressing?really?hard?on?your?chest?and?you?can't?take?a?full?breath?in.

Your?heartbeat?gets?faster,?and?your?whole?body?heats?up?until?you?sweat?uncontrollably.

It's?a?feeling?of?panic.

Sometimes?you?don't?even?know?why?you?feel?this?way.

Sometimes?it?just?happens?when?you?least?expect?it.

There?was?one?day?in?grade?10?when?my?mom?took?my?sister?and?I?out?to?see?a?movie.

When?we?got?there,?the?theater?was?pretty?packed,?so?we?had?to?sit?in?the?very?middle?of?an?aisle?surrounded?by?tons?of?people?in?every?direction.

About?halfway?through?the?movie,?I?began?to?feel?the?panic?coming?on.

My?heart?began?speeding?up,?and?I?couldn't?seem?to?calm?myself?down.

I?tried?fanning?myself?with?the?empty?popcorn?bag,?but?that?wasn't?working.

So?I?whispered?into?my?mom's?ear?and?told?her?what?was?going?on.

She?seemed?confused,?but?saw?in?my?face?how?upset?I?was.

So?we?all?got?up?and?left?the?theater.

I?finally?decided?this?was?enough.

I?needed?help.

My?parents?set?me?up?with?a?therapist?in?my?area.

It?was?a?very?comfortable?environment,?and?I?was?able?to?tell?her?everything?that?was?bothering?me.

She?told?me?that?I?definitely?had?an?anxiety?disorder.

She?told?me?that?she?could?work?with?me?to?lessen?its?effect?on?my?life.

This?took?a?while,?but?with?help?I?was?noticing?changes?in?my?life.

I?began?reaching?out?to?people?at?school.

I?rarely?left?my?class?or?a?movie?theater?because?I?felt?claustrophobic.

Things?were?changing?all?around?me?for?the?better.

And?yes,?anxiety?is?still?a?part?of?my?life,?but?it?isn't?as?dominant?as?it?was?before.

My?last?year?of?college,?I?was?even?able?to?start?my?YouTube?channel,?which?took?a?lot?of?courage?and?confidence.

I'm?even?able?to?talk?to?an?audience?of?people?at?meet?and?greets?without?having?a?complete?meltdown.

And?I'm?the?happiest?I've?been?in?my?entire?life.