????????My name is Peter. I was born in a country of rapid development after Reform and Opening-up called China. My father Hans, among the first batch of undergraduates since the entrance examination of university had been resumed, was trained as an engineer and, having obtained the diploma, was assigned to a radio factory. With skills and diligence, he walked his way to the top not long after his career began. Shortly afterwards, my mother Linda, a beautiful, fashionable young lady lecturing Chinese in one of the Nanjing leading schools, was introduced to him. Being well matched intellectually and characteristically, they tied the knot to no one's surprise and thereafter I was born. For the reason that both of them had far outstripped their contemporaries and they didn't want their son to be a drag for them, I was trained and demanded as stringently as a special soldier at an early age. On the other hand, it was only when I had been grown up had I some comprehension that they had lofty ideals and aims and, having been handicapped by their times and political environments, they had no other choice but lower their expectations and come to terms with what they were then. With the support of such psychology, they always seek a kind of compensation on me for what they were unable to secure, and in this way I was positioned as a child prodigy.

? ? ????我叫彼得，出生在改革開放后一個迅速發(fā)展的叫中國的國家，我爸爸漢斯作為恢復(fù)高考后的第一批大學(xué)生受到了作為一個工程師的專業(yè)訓(xùn)練，并在拿到文憑后被分到了一所無線電廠，由于出色的業(yè)務(wù)能力和勤奮好學(xué)，入職沒多久他就平步青云。沒過多久，我媽媽琳達，一位漂亮、時髦的南京某重點中學(xué)的語文老師就被介紹給了爸爸，因為在知識和性格方面十分般配，他們毫無懸念地喜結(jié)連理并在這之后我出生了，因為他倆都遠超同齡人之上，并且不希望自己的孩子拖后腿，所以我從小就被要求和訓(xùn)練得跟個特種兵一樣。從另一個角度來說，僅當我成年后才能理解他們擁有崇高的理想，卻因為時代和政治環(huán)境的限制而不得不委曲求全、對他們在現(xiàn)實中的處境做出妥協(xié)，基于這種心理，他們總是想讓自己爭取不到的東西在我身上找到一種補償，因此我被定位成一個神童。

? ? ????Helen is a fatty woman who had three relations to my mother: the mistress next door to us, her colleague and a bosom friend of her. She was very generous and enthusiastic to us. As she had her child Mary one year earlier, my mother used to seek advice for foetus education and experience of child-rearing from her in her pregnant days. Every time when Helen was asked, she put aside what she was doing and took the trouble to answer her, and in this way the two family established a deep friendship. Helen had a faith that it is the fate that brought the two families together and to maintain it, both of us need to take care of the other side, with these values not only the two adults developed an intimate relationship, Mary and I did as well. Despite the fact that Linda and Helen had a lot in common with each other, their views diverged greatly on the issue how to bring up a child: to make me ahead of my peers at the starting line and fly higher in the distant future, Linda and Hans jammed my daily schedules with all kinds of curricula: piano course, art lesson, calligraphy learning and etc, while Helen let her child spent her first 10 years touring and binge-watching. To stimulate my initiative, my parents always instilled the idea of "no pains, no gains" into me and promised a bright future that by following them, I could stand at the top and look down at the mortal beings, while I'd rather be like Mary and had a happy and relaxed childhood. We bumped into each other at the entrance of the neighborhood more than once. Again, I saw Mary hand in hand with her mother, while I was sitting on the back of Hans' bicycle.

? ? ????海倫是一個跟我媽媽有三層關(guān)系的胖女人：隔壁的女主人、她的同事也是她的閨蜜，海倫對我們十分熱情大方，因為她比媽媽早一年懷上瑪麗，所以媽媽懷孕的那陣子常去她那里請教胎教和育兒經(jīng)，每當這時海倫放下手頭的一切事情，不厭其煩地為媽媽做出解答，在這種情況下中兩家結(jié)下了深厚的友誼。海倫相信是緣分把兩家人聚在了一起，為了維持這種緣分，彼此都要善待對方，基于這種價值觀不僅僅是兩個大人、就連我和瑪麗也建立了很親密的關(guān)系，盡管琳達和海倫有很多相似之處，她們卻在教育孩子上產(chǎn)生了嚴重的分歧：為了讓我贏在起跑線上、在遙遠的未來展翅高飛，琳達和漢斯用諸如鋼琴課、美術(shù)班、書法學(xué)習(xí)之類的課程填滿了我的日程安排，而海倫卻讓她的孩子在人生的頭十年旅游和追劇，為了調(diào)動我的積極性，父母總是向我灌輸“吃得苦中苦，方為人上人”的道理，并為我許諾只要照他們的話做就會有一個“站在世界頂端，俯視蕓蕓眾生”的未來，可我卻寧可像瑪麗那樣擁有一個輕松愉快的童年。不止一次我們在小區(qū)的入口撞見對方，這一次我看見瑪麗牽著她媽媽的手，而我卻坐在漢斯自行車的后座上。

? ? ????“Good evening.” Sharp-eyed Hens saw them first and greeted with a smile on the face.

? ? ????“Good evening, you two. You are on your way home. Where did you go, shopping in the supermarket?” Seeing there were two shopping bags in the basket, Helen conjectured.

? ? ????“Where else can we come back from? Definitely the remedial class.” I answered helplessly. “When we passed by the supermarket, Hans entered and took out some cooked food for supper.”

? ? ????“How about you? You are returning home from somewhere else as well!” Considering they were heading for the same direction as us, Hans asked.

? ? ????“Mary had finished her homework this morning. As a reward, we had a day out in the amusement park.” Helen beamed and said, “my kid is not as diligent as yours. We let her play as long as she goes through her lessons.”

? ? ????“You are advisable and I wish I have a mother like you,” I said admiringly, “my father pressed me with all sorts of remedial classes and I am sick to death of it! What a wonderful life eating, drinking and playing all day long!”

? ? ????“Easy, easy, boy. I have a sympathy for your resistance, yet do you know your parents did all this out of love? You are too young to understand their intentions and aware how cruel the society is! Last week, our middle school dismissed 5 graduates, because the graduating classes led by them failed to meet the enrollment rate.” Helen put on a serious look and explained to me. “If my child is a boy, I'd be strict and severe to him like your father.”

? ? ????“I'd rather give up the chance of higher education to have a happy life now!” I pouted.

? ? ????“Okay, you will understand it sooner or later. Let's end the conversation here. I'm in a haste to cook dinner for my little princess, see you.” Helen made no reply and went straight home.

? ? ????“晚上好啊?！毖奂獾臐h斯首先看到了她們兩位并笑臉盈盈地跟她們打招呼。

? ? ????“晚上好，你們兩個，你這是回家吧，你們?nèi)ツ膬毫?？去超市購物的吧？”看見車簍子里有兩個購物袋，海倫猜測到。

? ? ????“我們還能去哪兒？當然是去補習(xí)班了唄?！蔽覠o可奈何地答道。“我們路過超市的時候，漢斯進去帶了一些做晚飯的熟食出來?！?/p>

? ? ????“你們呢？你們也是從外面往家趕吧？”眼瞅著她們跟我們同向，漢斯問道。

? ? ????“瑪麗早晨寫完了作業(yè)，我們獎勵她讓她在游樂園玩了一天?！焙悵M臉堆笑地說，“我家孩子不如你們家的勤奮哎，只要她做完了功課我們就讓她玩?！?/p>

? ? ????“你是明智的，我也希望自己有像你這樣的母親，”我羨慕地說，“我爸爸總是逼著我上各種補習(xí)班，我都煩死了！整天吃吃喝喝玩玩，這樣的生活多爽?。　?/p>

? ? ????“別激動，孩子，我理解你的抵觸情緒，可你知道你父母這么做是出于愛你嗎？你太小了還理解不了他們的用意和這個社會有多殘酷！上周我們學(xué)校解聘了五個高材生，因為他們帶的畢業(yè)班達不到升學(xué)率?！焙愐荒槆烂C地解釋給我聽，“如果我家的是個男孩，我也會像你爸爸那樣對他要求嚴格?！?/p>

? ? ????“我寧可放棄接受高等教育的機會并從現(xiàn)在開始快快樂樂地過！”我撅著嘴說。

? ? ????“好吧，總有一天你會明白的，今天就談到這里，我還趕著為我家的小公主燒晚飯，回頭見。”海倫沒有回答我，她徑直朝家里走去。

? ? ????With time, my attitude towards learning gradual changed from the beginning aversion and bewilderment to acceptance and adaptation. Although I had the feeling that it would be a plumb job to spend my time and energy playing video games when it should have been devoted to all kinds of classes at first, I soon gave up my thought and had a taste of the pleasure of learning. The interesting knowledge tutors taught not only fascinated me but acted as a key to open the scientific door into which I could unravel the mystery of nature. They always explained the strange phenomena in daily life to us, encourage hands-on practice and seeking books for answers and never once got us to do exams and ranked everyone according to his score. After a year, I learnt more than what I had learnt at school. Once when the New Year came, Hans brought me to my uncle's home. While adults gathered together for a chat, I had nothing to do but sat by my 3-year-older brother and talk with him. As he was a fan of cars, I explained the structure of a car to him; As he had a deep love for weapons, I interpreted the attributes and characteristics of the most common guns in war. The whole process lasted 2 hours and my aunt, having overheard my talk and felt there was a lot of sense in it, conveyed her amazement and asked Linda for advice "how did you train such a little boy to be so knowledgeable?" Linda just laughed and said, "he has a gift for it."

? ? ????隨著時間的推進，我對學(xué)習(xí)的態(tài)度由最初的反感和迷茫逐漸轉(zhuǎn)變?yōu)榻蛹{和適應(yīng)，盡管我最初有一種如果把花在參加各種輔導(dǎo)班的時間和精力用在打游戲上那該多好啊的感覺，但我很快就放棄了最初的想法并品嘗到學(xué)習(xí)的樂趣，老師教的那些有趣的知識不僅令我著迷，而且作為一把打開科學(xué)大門的鑰匙讓我從中領(lǐng)會到大自然的奧秘，老師總是向我們解釋大自然神奇的現(xiàn)象，鼓勵我們親自動手、翻書找答案并從未一次給我們做卷子、用試卷上的成績來排名次，一年下來我學(xué)到的比在學(xué)校里學(xué)到的還要多。一次過年，漢斯領(lǐng)我到舅舅家去玩，大人們聚在一起閑聊，我沒事可做只有坐在大我三歲的哥哥身邊跟他說話，鑒于他是一個汽車迷，我就為他講解汽車的構(gòu)造；鑒于他熱愛武器，我就為他講解戰(zhàn)爭中最常用的那些槍械的屬性和特點，整個過程持續(xù)了兩個小時，偶然聽到我講話并感覺言之有理的嬸嬸感到很驚奇并向琳達請教說：“你是怎么把這么小的孩子訓(xùn)練得如此博學(xué)的？”琳達只是笑笑說“他在這方面有天賦”。

? ? ????In spite of the fact that I made sacrifices for study, I failed to live up to teachers' expectations. When I brought the failing test paper guiltily to Hans and looked into his eyes for answer why I got nothing in return for the effort I made, he, instead of castigating me for being so stupid, explained to me patiently that the previous classes, nominally remedial ones, he signed up for me was actually to arouse my interest in learning than to shape me into a qualified candidate for exams. Interest is the best teacher, and only with it could I go deep into the magic scientific world. In essence, learning is a way to understand the world and lead a better life, the aim of examination is no other than examining to what extent you mastered the knowledge. Taking examination as an aim is the major drawback of contemporary education. In his day, Hans had no option but to conform to the test-oriented environment, whereas born in such a relatively flexible times today, I could take advantage of the opportunity to place myself above the rigid education system. To achieve this, the education he gave me was completely different from the mainstream one and to foster a kind of independent thinking, which is the most deficient thing for Chinese students. Sometimes you can regard it as a pair of wings, with it one can soar high and without it he is like a broken angel and doomed to be ignored even if he has great learning. Having made sense of what he said, I gradually understood that learning has nothing to do with grades, and point is not the only yardstick to measure a student.

? ? ????盡管我為學(xué)習(xí)做出了很大的犧牲，我卻辜負了老師們的期望，當我愧疚地將不及格的試卷拿到漢斯跟前并試圖從他眼中找出為什么付出卻得不到回報的答案時，他不僅沒有斥責(zé)我是個大笨蛋，反而耐心地向我解釋他之前為我報的名義上的輔導(dǎo)班其實際目的是啟發(fā)我對學(xué)習(xí)的興趣，而不是將我塑造成一個合格的考生，興趣是最好的老師，只有興趣才能將我引入神奇的科學(xué)世界。從本質(zhì)上說，學(xué)習(xí)是一種理解世界和過上更好生活的方式，考試的目的僅僅是檢驗?zāi)阏莆罩R的程度，將考試本身當作目的是當代教育的一大弊端。在他的那個年代，漢斯別無選擇只能順應(yīng)考試的環(huán)境，但是在如今這個相對寬松的環(huán)境中，我可以把握好機會將自己凌駕在僵死的教育體制之上，為了達到這個目的，他給我的教育完全不同于主流的那種，其目的是為了培養(yǎng)我獨立思考的能力，有時你可以把它想象成一雙翅膀，有了它你就可以展翅高飛，沒有這雙翅膀即便你滿腹經(jīng)綸也逃不過被埋沒的命運。聽完了他的解釋后，我漸漸明白學(xué)習(xí)跟分數(shù)一毛錢關(guān)系都沒有，分數(shù)不是衡量一個學(xué)生的唯一標準。

? ? ????In kindergarten days, there had been not a few boys came to my home with their toys to play with me and girls with their snacks to share with me. Nevertheless, I became an "abandoned child" since we had risen into primary school and had been divided into different "classes" according to our grades. Still, Mary was an exception, she never kept me at a distance for my poor performance at school. It is a mystery to her why I had been unable to improve my grades, since I was either heading for the remedial class or hurrying back from it whenever she run into me.

? ? ????“You must have played under par this time. Adjust yourself and make a comeback in the next round! I have faith in you!” Mary led me to Starbucks, bought me a cup of coffee and encouraged me like this.

? ? ????“Does point really matter?” Having been imbued with the idea that "point is the lifeblood of every student, exam is the magic weapon of every teacher" is a misleading doctrine, I looked suspiciously into her eyes.

? ? ????“Of course, it means everything! With good grades, you will be admitted by an Ivy League university. Having graduated from it, you are bound to be employed by a large business company, and then you will rise rapidly and reach the apex of your life.” Mary uttered these words with extravagant gestures.

? ? ????“Your mother told you, eh? You need to accept her words with some discount. As a means to some end, adults tend to cheat kids.” I sat still in my chair like a philosopher. “Have you ever had second thoughts about the fact that all adults combined to weave a giant lie against us?”

? ? ????“Are you crazy? Instead of challenging them, you ought to obey their words. Every word they said is for our own goods. We are their flesh and blood, and they are impossible to hurt us.” She took a sip of coffee and explained to me with these sincere words.

? ? ????“My father is just that person exposing their lies. He told me creativity and imagination matter more than points, one can't success without it. You are wrong, everybody else is wrong. Heroes on test papers in China are a dime a dozen, yet scarcely any of them can be successful enough to get Nobel Prize, why? Because point is a piece of shit! Grades have nothing to do with success!” I contended eloquently.

? ? ????“Perhaps your father is right. Forget my words!” Mary took out her smart phone and never spoke a single word to me again.

? ? ????上幼兒園的那陣子，有很多男生帶著他們的玩具來我家找我玩、很多女生帶著她們的零食來給我吃，但是自從升入小學(xué)、依據(jù)成績劃分出不同的“階級”之后，我就成了一個社會的棄兒，可瑪麗卻是個例外，她從不因為我差勁的學(xué)校表現(xiàn)而對我敬而遠之，只是她感到奇怪的是既然每次撞見我，我不是在去補習(xí)班的路上，就是從補習(xí)班回來，可為什么我的成績就是不見好呢？

? ? ????“你一定是發(fā)揮失常了，調(diào)整好自己并在下一輪扳回來！我對你有信心！”瑪麗將我領(lǐng)進星巴克，點了一杯咖啡并鼓勵我說。

? ? ????“分數(shù)真的很重要嗎？”被灌輸了“分分分學(xué)生的命根、考考考老師的法寶”是一個錯誤教條的我狐疑地看著她的眼睛。

? ? ????“當然，分數(shù)就是一切！只要考高分你就能進常春藤名校，畢業(yè)后你就能受雇于大公司，之后你就能平步青云、達到你人生的巔峰?！爆旣愂治枳愕傅乇葎澋?。

? ? ????“你媽媽教你的，是吧？你也從未懷疑過她講的話？大人們?yōu)榱诉_到某種目的，總是會欺騙孩子?！蔽蚁駛€哲學(xué)家一樣一動不動地坐在我的位置上，“難道你就從未懷疑過所有大人合在一起編織著一個巨大的謊言？”

? ? ????“你瘋了吧？你應(yīng)該聽他們的話，而不是懷疑他們，他們說的每一句話都是為我們好，我們是他們的骨肉，他們不可能傷害我們?！彼蛄艘恍】诳Х龋Z重心長地向我解釋。

? ? ????“我爸爸就是那個揭穿謊言的人，他告訴我創(chuàng)造力和想象力比分數(shù)更重要，一個人要想成功少不了這些，你錯了，所有人都錯了，在中國，試卷上的英雄不在少數(shù)，但是他們中間幾乎沒有人能成功到攬獲諾貝爾獎，為什么？因為分數(shù)是狗屁！成績跟成功一毛錢關(guān)系都沒有！” 我義正言辭地申辯道。

? ? ????“或許你爸爸是對的，當我沒說！”瑪麗掏出她的手機，再沒跟我說過一句話。

? ? ????Maybe out of his professional instinct, the head teacher Simon had a sense that I would be knocked out if I went on like this, and for this reason my father was called to his office for a long conversation.

? ? ????“Hello, Mr. Hans. Please sit down. Have you seen the test paper of your son?” He greeted my father politely and got straight to the point.

? ? ????“Of course, I saw.” Hans answered in a gentle tone. “Is anything wrong?”

? ? ????“He made a terrible mess of the examination and was supposed to be the bottom of all students. At this rate, it is a question whether he can stay in the class and keep up with teachers, let alone to be admitted by a key high school and enter the university.” Simon replaced his beginning politeness with a serious, cold voice.

? ? ????“My boy had done his best. Perhaps he is not cut out for it.” Hans explained. “He learnt a great deal and did a lot of work over the past year. He made a radio with limited knowledge, gathered the specimens of flowers and insects and examined each one's habit and instinct carefully, wrote a paper concerning air pollution and human condition……”

? ? ????“Ok, Ok, instead of doing all these boring things, your son should take examination as a prime concern, and take the entrance examination of university as the baton of his life!” Simon interrupted and warned him with a peremptory tone.

? ? ????“They are not boring things, for me examination is exactly one, it is rather a means to check knowledge than an aim. Point is not the unique standard to measure a student. How can you say he is not worth a cent as long as he gets poor marks?” Hans took advantage of his understanding of education to justify himself.

? ? ????“I'm not asking you into an empty talk here. All I know is that if your boy always gets poor marks, the only way prepared for him is to enter a vocational school. Then he will get a bleak future and when he is grown up, he must sell 3 times of his labor power to get only a third payment of an ordinary man. Do you want your son down and out?” Simon depicted a serious picture to my father, the aim was to make him see the significance of point.

? ? ????“My son is a child prodigy. He will give a surprise to the public. I have my way to educate him. I won't let him be consumed by examination. Even something wrong happened, my son is not the person to be blamed.” By no means succumbed to Simon's power, my father replied defiantly.

? ? ????“Child prodigy? Come on, open your eyes, I've never heard a child prodigy as excellent as yours! The last one! If there has been any genius among the imbeciles, your son is really one.” Simon injured my pride with biting sarcasm. On hearing these words, I blushed and bowed my head, and ruminated over the question whether I was definitely an imbecile.

? ? ????“With no more than primary school education, Faraday laid a solid foundation for electromagnetics; Edison had never entered school, whereas he initiated the second industrial revolution.” Hans enumerated a few examples to support his argument.

? ? ????“Ok, ok, let's wait and see how your boy becomes Faraday and Edison!” In this way the talk concluded and Simon and Hans broke up in discord.

? ? ????或許是出于職業(yè)嗅覺，班主任西蒙預(yù)感到如果我繼續(xù)這樣下去肯定會被淘汰出局，因此把我的父親召進辦公室做了一次長談。

? ? ????“漢斯先生你好，請坐，你看了你兒子的試卷嗎？”他禮貌地招呼著爸爸并開門見山地說。

? ? ????“是的，我看了?！睗h斯語帶語氣平和地回答，“有什么問題嗎？”

? ? ????“他這次考得一團糟，他應(yīng)該是全班倒數(shù)第一了吧，如果這樣下去，他繼續(xù)呆在這個班跟上老師的進度都成問題，更別說直升重點高中和考大學(xué)了?！蔽髅梢桓膭傞_始的禮貌，用嚴肅和冷淡的口吻說道。

? ? ????“我家孩子已經(jīng)盡力了，或許他天生就不適合考試?！睗h斯解釋道，“這一年來他學(xué)了很多，也做了很多事，他利用有限的知識裝了一個收音機，采集了花草昆蟲的標本并認真研究了其中每一個的習(xí)性，還寫了一篇關(guān)于污染與人類環(huán)境的論文……”

? ? ????“好吧，好吧，你兒子應(yīng)該把考試放在首位，將高考當作自己人生的指揮棒，而不是去做那些無聊的事情！”西蒙打斷他的話，語氣強硬地警告他說。

? ? ????“那些不是無聊的事情，對我來說考試才是呢，它僅僅是檢驗知識的一種手段，而不是目的，分數(shù)不是衡量一個學(xué)生的唯一標準，難道你能說就因為他的成績差，他就一文不值嗎？”漢斯利用他對教育的理解為自己辯護道。

? ? ????“我不是把你喊來談這些無聊話題的，我只知道如果你兒子總是這么差，他可供選擇的只有進職校這條路，此后他的前途一片黯淡，長大后他必須出賣三倍的勞動力才能換取一個普通人三分之一的報酬，你想眼睜睜地看著你的兒子落魄潦倒嗎？”西蒙把事情說得很嚴重，其目的就是為了讓他意識到分數(shù)的重要性。

? ? ????“我的兒子是個神童，他會一鳴驚人的，我有我的方式教他，我不會讓他為考試所累的，即便出了問題也不是我兒子的錯?！卑职植]有屈從于西蒙的淫威，語帶挑釁地回答說。

? ? ????“神童？醒醒吧，我從來沒見過有一個神童如你家孩子這般了得！成績墊底！如果說在低能兒的群體當中有神童，你家的孩子的確算是一個。”西蒙用尖刻的話語刺傷了我的自尊心，聽了這些話，我臉紅地低下了頭，反復(fù)思考自己是否真是一個笨蛋。

? ? ????“法拉第僅僅是小學(xué)文化，但他卻奠定了電磁學(xué)的基礎(chǔ)；愛迪生沒上過一天學(xué)，卻發(fā)動了第二次工業(yè)革命。”漢斯舉了幾個例子來佐證他的論點。

? ? ????“好吧，好吧，我們就等著看你孩子是法拉第還是愛迪生！”就這樣，談話以西蒙和漢斯不歡而散告終。

? ? ????Rumors circled around before the next day came. As if Simon took Hans' oratory as a joke and reported it to everyone else, next day morning when I entered the classroom again, I found all of my classmates sized me up with curious eyes. At first, I dismissed it for some trivial reasons such as "I was late for school" or "I just changed my hairstyle", but soon I realized it's not that simple. As I passed by a mischievous boy, he made a face and chuckled to his deskmate, "Look, our genius is coming! This is the future Edison!" As soon as he finished these words, a roar of laughter made by the whole class and I immediately recognized the fact that my father's stubbornness had made me an object of ridicule among my fellow students. Since that time, I was not the same Peter before, but a boy spat on by every sensible human being, a lunatic. Even if sometimes "the sun rose in the west" and the precious few accepted me as one of them out of pity, I had an acute feeling that they had a bias against me: they were normal ones and I was not one of them.

? ? ????謠言在第二天就傳遍了全校，好像西蒙將漢斯的雄辯言辭當作笑話告訴了每個人一樣，第二天早上當我再次走進教室，我發(fā)現(xiàn)所有同學(xué)都用奇怪的眼神打量著我，剛開始我以為是諸如自己遲到或是剛剛換了個發(fā)型之類的小問題而不予考慮，但是我很快意識到事情沒那么簡單，當我經(jīng)過一個調(diào)皮的孩子身旁時，他做了個鬼臉大笑著對同桌說：“瞧，我們的天才來了！這位是未來的愛迪生！”他話音剛落全班同學(xué)都哄笑了起來，我瞬間意識到爸爸的固執(zhí)己見讓我成了所有人的笑柄，從那時起，我不再是從前那個彼得了，我成了一個只要有正常思維能力的人都唾棄不已的人、一個神經(jīng)病，即便有時候“太陽從西邊出”，他們中的極少數(shù)出于同情接納我為他們中的一份子，我也會敏銳地感覺到他們對我抱有偏見：他們是正常人而我卻不是他們的同類。

? ? ????One day when I passed by the W.C., I heard a voice said "he is as silly as a goose. His father signed up a good many of tutorial classes for him. His mother spent all she had to buy him a bright future. Finally, it is like drawing water with a sieve. His grade is there and how could he get a place at university? He is still under the illusion that he is a genius, yet in fact the only way prepared for him is to be a scavenger or a bricklayer." "Yes, yes, it makes sense. We'd better give him a wide berth." Another one echoed. For a moment I was irritated enough to teach each of them a lesson. I dashed into the W.C., bombarded the first boy with the question "Who are you talking about? What makes you think he is 'as silly as a goose'" Panic seized him when he saw me, he could not but spluttered "I... I... I was talking one of my friends, don't get me wrong." "Who is he? What is his name?" I pursued. The boy was extremely embarrassed by my question and the other one was tongue-tied as well. Just then the ringing bell broke the deadlock, it acted as an excuse for them. Only with the words that "they have to go back to attend class" had the two boys got rid of my interrogation. Although they may restrain themselves if I knock their block off, but can I knock everyone's block off if each of them speaks ill of me?

? ? ????一天當我路過廁所，我聽見一個聲音在說“他這方面不開竅，他爸爸為他報了N多個輔導(dǎo)班，他媽媽花光了積蓄就為他能有個好前途，可最后不過是竹籃打水一場空，他成績就擺在那里，他怎么可能考上大學(xué)？他還幻想著自己是天才，其實他這種人能做個拾破爛的、建筑工地上搬磚的就不錯了?！薄笆堑?，是的，你言之有理，我們最好離這種人遠一點?！绷硗庖晃煌瑢W(xué)附和道。一瞬間我就感覺自己憤怒得想要狠狠教訓(xùn)他們一頓，我沖進廁所，劈口就問第一個男孩“你在說誰？你憑什么說他不開竅？”男孩看見我驚慌失措，語無倫次地說“我...我...我在說自己的一個朋友，別誤會?！薄八钦l？叫什么名字？”我追問道，男孩被我問得極為尷尬，另一位也張口結(jié)舌不知道該說什么好，恰好此時上課鈴聲打破了僵局，也為他倆找到了借口，兩個人以“他們必須回去上課”為由才躲開了我的質(zhì)問。盡管如果我扁他們一頓他們會收斂一些，但是如果每個人都在詆毀我，我能把每個人都扁一頓嗎？

? ? ????Another day in the dining hall, I happened to collide with a fatty boy and trod on his toes. Notwithstanding my apology, he was unwilling to let me go. We called one another's rude names and exchange of cursing soon escalated into exchange of blows. As I was less tall and robust than him, I was gradually on the lower hand no more than 2 or 3 minutes. He threw me to the ground, rode on me and beat me severely with the words "Oh, genius, I will beat the pants out of you! You are a genius, show your gift before us! It is a favorite thing for me to find fault with a genius!" What is disappointing to me is that instead of someone standing out to mediate between us, everybody took delight in my misfortune. When the fatty lad had run out of his strength and got up from me, no one uttered one comforting word to me or gave him a bit of criticism. In desperation, I began to realize as a social outcast, I no longer had the support of public opinion and everyone could bully me if he likes.

? ? ????另一天在食堂，我不小心撞上了一個胖男孩并踩到了他的腳，盡管我道歉了，他就是不肯放過我，我們互相之間的對罵很快就升級成了對打，鑒于我比他矮、沒他那么孔武有力，兩三分鐘之內(nèi)我就占了下風(fēng)，他把我摔在地上，騎在我身上一邊狠狠地揍我一邊念念有詞：“天才，我要打的你滿地找牙！你是個天才，讓我們看看你的天賦！我就喜歡找天才的茬！”令我寒心的是周圍的所有人不僅沒有站出來拉架，反而所有人都幸災(zāi)樂禍，當那個胖子用盡了力氣后從我身上起來的時候，沒有一個人對我說過一句安慰的話，或是對他有半點苛責(zé)，在絕望中，我開始意識到作為一個社會的棄兒，我失去了輿論的支持，所有人隨時都可以欺負我。

? ? ????When I returned home with a dirty look, I shut myself in the room and burst into tears. I was not a bad boy and never did anything wrong, why did everyone look down upon me? Why there was no one to become a companion and utter a single sympathetic word to me? Why wasn't I worth a cent in their eyes? Why was grade overwhelmingly important? Why God sent me to such a distorted environment? Why? Why? Why? I took out my favorite book The Secrets of The Universe, wished to tear it apart and broke myself off forever from scientific study. I asked myself over and over again: is there any need in it? What kind of genius am I? Have I been fooling myself? My crying soon attracted Linda's attention outside. As if had a power to read my mind, she pushed open the door and put a book titled the footsteps of great men on my desk, talked mildly into my case: "You needn't to be so upset. It's not your fault that you can't integrate into your surroundings. Everyone around you is mediocre. As an old Chinese saying goes: 'If you lie down with dogs, you will get up with fleas', when people accept you as one of them, you must be as mediocre as they imagined. As if you are an alien, people around you have nothing in common with you and have no idea how to accept you as one of them. So, open the book, make friends with those giants and you will be one of them! Never mind how people treat you. You will make a difference."

? ? ????當我蓬頭垢面地回到家里，我把自己關(guān)在房間大哭了一場，我不是壞孩子也從未做過壞事，可為什么所有人都看不起我？為什么沒人愿意成為我的朋友說一句同情我的話？為什么我在所有人眼里一文不值？為什么分數(shù)能壓倒一切？為什么上帝把我派到這個扭曲畸形的環(huán)境當中？為什么？為什么？為什么？我拿起自己最愛的《宇宙的奧秘》，恨不得把它撕個粉碎，從今往后再也不搞科學(xué)研究，我一遍又一遍地問自己：還有必要嗎？我算是什么狗屁天才？難道我一直在騙自己嗎？我的哭聲很快引起了門外琳達的注意，似乎她有讀懂我心靈的能力，她輕輕推開門將一本名為《偉大的足跡》的書放在桌上，溫和地對我說：“你不必如此沮喪，不能融入周圍的環(huán)境不是你的錯，你周圍的所有人都很平庸，正如古話說得好：‘近朱者赤近墨者黑’，如果所有人接納你為他們中的一員，你必定如他們想象中的那般平庸，就好比你是一個外星人，你身邊的人跟你沒有任何相似之處因而也不知道如何接納你為他們中的一員。所以翻開書吧，跟偉人做朋友你也會成為一個偉人！別在意周圍人怎么看你，你會改變世界的?！?/p>

【未完待續(xù)】