2023年高考英語新課標(biāo)卷讀后續(xù)寫深度解讀與示范(山西用)
2023年高考英語新課標(biāo)1/2卷(讀后續(xù)寫)
第二節(jié)(滿分25分)
閱讀下面材料,根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段,使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。
(人與自我——校園話題“師生關(guān)系:體現(xiàn)良師益友”——B1U1校園第一天)
When I was in middle school, my social studies teacher asked me to enter a writing?contest. I said no without thinking. I did not love writing. My family came from Brazil, so?English was only my second language. Writing was so difficult and painful?for me that my?teacher had allowed me to present my paper on the sinking of the Titanic by acting out a play,?where I played all the parts. No one laughed harder than he did.
So, why did he suddenly force me to do something at which I was sure to fail? His reply:?“Because I love your stories. If you're willing to apply yourself, I think you have a good shot?at this." Encouraged by his words, I agreed to give it a try.
I chose Paul Revere's horse as my subject. Paul Revere was a silversmith(銀匠)?in?Boston who rode a horse at night on April 18, 1775 to Lexington to warn people that British?soldiers were coming. My story would come straight from the horse's mouth. Not a brilliant?idea, but funny; and unlikely to be anyone else's choice.
What did the horse think, as he sped through the night? Did he get tired? Have doubts??Did he want to quit? I sympathized immediately. I got tired. I had doubts. I wanted to quit.?But,?like Revere's horse, I kept going. I worked hard. I checked my spelling. I asked my older?sister to correct my grammar. I checked out a half-dozen?books on Paul Revere from the library. I even read a few of them.
When I handed in the essay to my teacher, he read it, laughed out loud, and said,?"Great.?Now, write it again."?I wrote it again, and again and again. When I finally finished it, the?thought of winning had given way to?the enjoyment of writing. If I didn't win, I wouldn't?care.
注意:
1.續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150個左右;
2.請按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。
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Paragraph 1
A few weeks later, when I almost forgot the contest, there came the news.——“數(shù)周之后,在我?guī)缀跬洷荣愔畷r,消息確傳來了”可以得知:本段續(xù)寫的核心在于通過利用“突如其來的消息”引發(fā)一系列的驚喜,但是反轉(zhuǎn)的設(shè)計確是本段最為出彩的環(huán)節(jié)??紤]到第二段續(xù)寫的提示為“我在頒獎之后來到老師的辦公室”,我們可以順其自然地聯(lián)想到“我在享受榮光之時,老師確沒有出現(xiàn)”,這樣處理1.可以很自然的設(shè)計出高潮與反轉(zhuǎn)的強(qiáng)烈對比;2.同時為二段續(xù)寫的連貫性做好了鋪墊,“我必然為了一探究竟要去找老師的”?!獏⒖荚~匯涉及:writing contest;social studies teacher;award presentation
Paragraph 1
A few weeks later, when I almost forgot the contest, there came the news. After?being told that?I won the first prize in the writing contest?and later I would attend the award ceremony with all the teachers and students, I felt at that moment a sense of happiness mixed with surprise flooded into?my mind. Soon after/before long/After a short while/Shortly afterwards, in the company of?my classmates, at the award presentation?appeared I, who immediately became the only focus in the big hall. Thunderous applause echoed?in my ears when?our principal presented me with the certificate. Excited to look around, I didn’t spot my social studies teacher?in the crowd so I decided to meet him afterwards?and knew why.(4句)
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Paragraph 2
I went to the teacher’s office after the award presentation.——“我在頒獎之后來到老師的辦公室”,本段的續(xù)寫是本次高考最值得“玩味的部分”,是考察考生真正硬核實力和語言能力的關(guān)鍵。郭老師本段是這樣創(chuàng)設(shè)的:通過老師所謂的“玩世不恭”的一貫表現(xiàn),給“我”帶來了困惑,但是話鋒一轉(zhuǎn),真正的老師往往對于學(xué)生的影響都是“潤物細(xì)無聲”,這樣即避免了使用“意義不大的直接引語”來充斥字?jǐn)?shù),同時通過“無聲勝有聲的寫作手法”還提升了自己的寫作境界,可謂“一箭雙雕”。在即將收筆之處又出現(xiàn)了我們經(jīng)典的寫作思維:1.過去對過去的邏輯;2.今昔對比的邏輯。畢竟作為高考寫作中“四大關(guān)系”命題之一,我們哪里能錯過此等“天載難逢之機(jī)”。因此,當(dāng)我解讀到此處相比老生已經(jīng)“心領(lǐng)神會”了。最后我設(shè)計了兩種結(jié)尾。
Paragraph 2
I went to the teacher’s office after the award presentation.?When I pushed the door open, I was astonished to find?he was reading my essay but as usual?still laughed out loud. At the sight of?my coming, he didn’t stop laughing which made me feel confused, but soon after, with our eyes contacting together, I figured out?the reason why he didn’t appear at the scene is because?he wanted me to enjoy success and glory alone while he chose to support me in silence. I couldn’t hide my gratitude, dashing/rushing at him to hug him tightly. (結(jié)尾1)Without his help, writing were still difficult and painful?for me. Fortunately, it was him who?taught me how to open the door to writing and taste the enjoyment?of writing.(5句:采用過去對過去的思路)
或者
(結(jié)尾2)Nowadays, I have become a professional writer, but each time?I recall the scene, always comes up my social studies teacher?who used to?help change a Brazilian child?into a real writer?enjoying the joy brought by writing.(4句:采用今昔對比的思路)
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2023年高考英語新課標(biāo)1/2卷的讀后續(xù)寫點評:
本次讀后續(xù)寫延續(xù)了2022年的“人與自我”主題,依舊把場景安排在了校園,關(guān)系依舊是“師生關(guān)系”,所以這兩年的作文從句命題的思路上可謂“一脈相承”,從具體行文的角度來看,從2022年學(xué)生扮演老師轉(zhuǎn)變?yōu)榱?023年學(xué)生本色出演的方向。從句行文的思路而言,考生更有“代入感”。
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但是,今年命題的亮點確是“精彩”,我在進(jìn)行本文創(chuàng)設(shè)的過程中,思緒噴涌,亮點不斷。但是考慮到考生的具體能力與思維力,我這里進(jìn)行了高考最常見的處理“師生關(guān)系”的立意——即“良師益友”,如何把立意對接到我的social studies teacher雖然在一幅“玩世不恭”的教學(xué)態(tài)度上,確幫助我由一個“英語不好的移民”變?yōu)橐粋€“英語作家”的勵志故事上。
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而我們外研社的同步課本B1U1和B1U3給了我們很好的示范,教學(xué)生如何處理“人際關(guān)系”,真可謂“要不不出手,一出手都透露著‘教考一體化’的教學(xué)與命題思路”,總之我對于命題人一個“大大的服氣”(ps:不學(xué)好同步課本真不行啊)。
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本文的兩段的創(chuàng)設(shè)中,首段創(chuàng)設(shè)具體要體現(xiàn)在“我在享受榮耀時,我的恩人確不在身邊”這種遺憾與對其中原因的尋找;二段創(chuàng)設(shè)的關(guān)鍵在于如何實現(xiàn)“良師益友”的立意,真正的高人都是“做了好事不輕易留名——即學(xué)生在獨享榮耀時,老師確能泰然自若,如同沒有發(fā)生任何事情一般的波瀾不驚”,通過這一番行文操作,我受到影響難道不會“受用一生”么?明白這些之后,就把所有的表達(dá)交給“英語”來解決吧。(反思:考生的語言能力能夠駕馭以上的中文思維與邏輯)
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