你經(jīng)歷過(guò)最棒的事情是什么？與伴侶相識(shí)，初為父母，還是事業(yè)成功的某個(gè)關(guān)鍵時(shí)刻？當(dāng)記者梅根·麥克阿德（Megan McArdle）在網(wǎng)上做此項(xiàng)調(diào)查時(shí)，大部分受訪者談到的都是愛情、孩子和工作等主題。但是，當(dāng)她搜索谷歌時(shí)，結(jié)果讓她有些吃驚：排名最高的居然是離婚，然后是罹患癌癥和丟掉工作的經(jīng)歷，甚至還有人提到坐牢。

What’s the best thing that’s ever happened to you? Meeting your spouse? Becoming a parent? Some breakthrough moment of career success? When journalist Megan McArdle conducted a web survey on the topic, most respondents offered some variation on the love/kids/job theme. But then she turned to Google and found some surprises. Getting divorced ranks high. So does being diagnosed with cancer. And being fired. Rounding out the search results: Going to prison.

這項(xiàng)排名反映了當(dāng)下社會(huì)對(duì)逆境的敬畏之情，很多人認(rèn)為只要端正心態(tài)，逆境會(huì)給人生帶來(lái)轉(zhuǎn)機(jī)。很少有人會(huì)盼望陷入逆境，但不可否認(rèn)，逆境能讓我們有機(jī)會(huì)檢驗(yàn)自身的韌性并展現(xiàn)勇氣。

That list is evidence of society’s reverence for difficult experiences that, when viewed from the proper perspective, lead to revelatory transformation. Although few of us actively wish for trauma, we recognize that it can offer an opportunity to test our resilience and then celebrate our mettle.

從某種意義上說(shuō)，這并非什么新鮮事?！妒ソ?jīng)·約伯記》就探討了個(gè)人苦難的命題，此后很多文學(xué)作品一直在審視人類承受重重磨難的能力。幾十年來(lái)，心理學(xué)家一直在研究為什么有些人比其他人更容易從逆境中反彈，以及他們?cè)谶@個(gè)過(guò)程中獲得了什么。

In a way, this is nothing new. Since the biblical story of Job, many literary works have examined human beings’ ability to endure repeated hardship. And for decades now, psychologists have been studying why some people bounce back from adversity more easily than others—and what they gain in the process.

然而，過(guò)去幾年里，韌性的重要性一下子被抬高，幾乎成為“最重要的情商要素”，為此，我們四處尋找有韌性的員工，刻意去培養(yǎng)孩子的韌性品質(zhì)，也希望打造自身的韌性。書店里也充斥著各種有關(guān)韌性的書。

In the past few years, however, resilience has emerged as perhaps the foremost emotional virtue—a characteristic we seek in employees, nurture in children, and hope to build in ourselves. No surprise, then, that bookshelves are filling up with treatises on how to achieve it.

其中一本就是麥克阿德的《失敗的積極面》（The Up Side of Down: Why Failing Well Is the Key to Success）。另一本是心理學(xué)教授大衛(wèi)·費(fèi)爾德曼（David B. Feldman）和記者李·丹尼爾·卡拉維茲（Lee Daniel Kravetz）合著的《超級(jí)幸存者》（Supersurvivors: The Surprising Link Between Suffering and Success）。它講述了一些歷經(jīng)重創(chuàng)者的故事，他們或差點(diǎn)被癌癥奪去生命，或遭遇截肢或重度顱腦損傷，或經(jīng)歷喪子之痛，這些重創(chuàng)成了他們生命中的催化劑?！八麄儾粌H僅是獲得了成長(zhǎng)；他們徹徹底底改變了自己的命運(yùn)，”作者寫道，“甚至在承受重創(chuàng)時(shí)，他們就已經(jīng)重新認(rèn)識(shí)并超越了自身的苦難?！?/p>

McArdle presents her findings in?The Up Side of Down: Why Failing Well Is the Key to Success.?In addition, we have?Supersurvivors: The Surprising Link Between Suffering and Success,?by psychology professor David B. Feldman and journalist Lee Daniel Kravetz.?Supersurvivors?relates the stories of people whose significant traumas—near-fatal cancer, limb amputation, severe brain injury, the loss of a child—become catalyzing events. “These people don’t just grow; they revolutionize their lives,” the authors write. “They transform and transcend their suffering even while enduring it.”

這些書籍與暢銷書《兒童如何成功》（How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity, and the Hidden Power of Character）一脈相承，該書曾被連篇累牘地報(bào)道。在《兒童如何成功》一書中，作者保羅·圖赫（Paul Tough）回顧了以往的學(xué)術(shù)研究，并向讀者介紹了一些強(qiáng)調(diào)性格特征發(fā)展而非認(rèn)知能力的創(chuàng)新教育項(xiàng)目。

These books follow the deeply reported best seller?How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity, and the Hidden Power of Character,?in which Paul Tough surveys the academic research and takes readers inside innovative educational programs that prioritize the development of character traits instead of cognitive skills.

這類非虛構(gòu)類作品無(wú)疑豐富了成功學(xué)書籍。圖赫的作品實(shí)至名歸，因?yàn)樗鼤?huì)改變父母對(duì)兒童情感構(gòu)成的看法，以及他們希望孩子培養(yǎng)的品質(zhì)。閱讀費(fèi)爾德曼和卡拉維茲的作品，你會(huì)深受啟發(fā)，了解影響韌性的一些因素，其中包括宗教信仰、原諒的能力和對(duì)死亡的認(rèn)知，但對(duì)于如何走出逆境，你可能還看不到一幅清晰的路線圖。麥克阿德的作品妙趣橫生，有些方面也很有見地。

This genre of nonfiction certainly enriches the literature about success. Tough’s book deserves its acclaim, and it may change the way parents think about their children’s emotional makeup and the qualities they hope to instill in them. If you read Feldman and Kravetz, you will come away inspired and more attuned to the factors that influence resilience—including religious faith, the ability to forgive, and awareness of mortality—although you won’t get a clear road map for rebounding from calamity. McArdle’s book is engaging and at times insightful.

但是，我很擔(dān)心這些作品太過(guò)理想化。戰(zhàn)勝逆境當(dāng)然值得稱贊，但如今它有時(shí)被視為個(gè)人經(jīng)歷的必要組成部分。“一窺成功人士的人生，你會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)他們的成功都是建立在失敗之上的?！丙溈税⒌聦懙?。這種說(shuō)法有些過(guò)度夸張。事實(shí)上，我更贊同她的另一項(xiàng)觀察：很多被我們定義為“失敗”的事情其實(shí)只是由隨機(jī)事件造成的意外或簡(jiǎn)單的失誤，通常情況下毫無(wú)意義，也無(wú)法從中找到獲得成功的啟示。

Yet I worry that the narrative of surmounting adversity is becoming too idealized. Triumph over disaster is rightly seen as a laudable part of a person’s experiences, but it’s now sometimes presented as a requirement. “Peek into the basement of any successful life and you’ll see that they, too, are founded on failure,” McArdle writes. That argument overreaches. In fact, I am more taken by her observation that many of the things we consider “failures” are really accidents (driven by random events) or simple mistakes, and often there’s no lesson to be learned or silver lining to be found.

韌性的概念被過(guò)度炒作，但是當(dāng)我進(jìn)一步閱讀時(shí)，我漸漸看到一些修正這種做法的跡象。在創(chuàng)業(yè)圈，有些人已在譴責(zé)某種“失敗癖”。他們指出，快速失敗然后摒棄初創(chuàng)公司另起爐灶的行為或已變成榮譽(yù)勛章。“從失敗中獲得恥辱是一件令人興奮的事，”著名風(fēng)險(xiǎn)投資家馬克·安卓森說(shuō)，“但我們發(fā)現(xiàn)創(chuàng)業(yè)者們太快放棄了……或許，現(xiàn)在我們真要為這種行為增加點(diǎn)恥辱感?！?/p>

Indeed, the more I read about resilience, the more I’m seeing the early signs of a correction to the excessive hype surrounding this idea. In the entrepreneurship world, some people are decrying a “failure fetish,” arguing that one’s ability to “fail fast” and abandon one start-up for the next has become too much of a badge of honor. “Taking the stigma out of failure is very exciting,” says Marc Andreessen, a leading venture capitalist. “But we see founders who give up too quickly…. Maybe it’s time to add a bit more stigma.”

一些教育家已經(jīng)開始質(zhì)疑韌性和毅力的重要性。在《被寵壞的孩子的神話》（The Myth of the Spoiled Child）中，知名作家兼演說(shuō)家阿爾菲·科恩（Alfie Kohn）認(rèn)為，過(guò)分強(qiáng)調(diào)勤奮和自控能力往往會(huì)削弱兒童的創(chuàng)造力，阻礙自我意識(shí)的發(fā)展，并磨滅他們的個(gè)性。他指出韌性研究的邏輯是循環(huán)邏輯，比如，西點(diǎn)軍校的一項(xiàng)研究發(fā)現(xiàn)，那些認(rèn)為自己勇氣卓越的人更容易完成艱巨的暑期培訓(xùn)課程?！埃ㄟ@項(xiàng)研究）貌似證明只有有毅力的人才能堅(jiān)持下去?！彼麑懙?。他說(shuō)得有道理：只要我們對(duì)“成功”的定義是對(duì)那些努力工作之人的巨大回報(bào)，那么只要堅(jiān)持不懈，克服困難，任何人都可能成功。這難道不是基本常識(shí)嗎？

In education, at least a few thinkers are starting to question whether resilience and persistence are really the most important qualities to instill in kids. In?The Myth of the Spoiled Child,?Alfie Kohn, a prominent writer and lecturer, argues that emphasizing diligence and self-control often undercuts creativity and self-awareness and promotes bland conformity. He sees a circularity in the logic of resilience research. For instance, a study of West Point cadets found that those who rated themselves high in grit were most likely to complete an arduous summer training course. “[This] seems to prove only that people who are persistent persist,” he writes. He has a point: So long as we define “success” as the pot of gold that’s the reward for hard work, isn’t it common sense that by plugging away, despite obstacles, you are most likely to obtain it?

毫無(wú)疑問，有韌性是一種美德，誰(shuí)不想自己或者心愛之人身上具有一點(diǎn)這項(xiàng)品質(zhì)呢？但是，隨著時(shí)間的推移，我想人們對(duì)韌性的認(rèn)知也會(huì)有所改變，它將不再是最重要的情感組成部分，在構(gòu)成性格和人品的理想要素中，它也不再占據(jù)核心位置。我渴望成為有韌性、有毅力、有勇氣之人，但我也希望通過(guò)聰明、合理的手段盡量減少創(chuàng)傷。

It’s impossible to argue against resilience as a virtue—who wouldn’t want some measure of that quality in themselves or their loved ones? But instead of viewing it as the be-all and end-all of our emotional makeup, I expect that over time we will give it a less central place within the broader mosaic of desirable personal attributes. I aspire to be resilient and persistent and gritty—but I also hope to minimize trauma (to the extent possible) by taking smart, reasonable risks.

這是柯南-奧布萊恩在被解雇為 "今夜秀 "主持人后不久在達(dá)特茅斯學(xué)院畢業(yè)典禮上的講話中所表達(dá)的一種情感。 "雖然你不應(yīng)該害怕失敗，但你應(yīng)該盡最大努力避免失敗。尼采有句名言：'凡是不會(huì)殺死你的東西都會(huì)讓你變得更強(qiáng)大'。但他沒有強(qiáng)調(diào)的是，它幾乎殺死了你。"

It’s a sentiment that Conan O’Brien captured in his commencement address at Dartmouth College shortly after being fired as host of The Tonight Show: “Though you should not fear failure, you should do your very best to avoid it. Nietzsche famously said, ‘Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.’ But what he failed to stress is that it almost kills you.”

我們真正需要的是一條不需要瀕臨死亡就能通往強(qiáng)大和成功的道路，希望未來(lái)不再有那么多人將坐牢視為最棒的經(jīng)歷。

What we really need is a pathway toward strength and success that doesn’t require a near-death experience—and a future in which fewer people rank prison as the best thing that’s ever happened to them.

(李茂/譯　 王晨/校? ?萬(wàn)艷/編輯)

丹尼爾·麥金是《哈佛商業(yè)評(píng)論》英文版高級(jí)編輯。