Diving Under

1

All I've ever wanted is for Juli Baker to leave me alone.

2

For her to back off — you know, just give me some space.

3

It all started the summer before second?

grade

?when our?

moving van

?pulled into her neighborhood.

grade /ɡred/ n.〈美〉?年級

moving van?家具搬運車

4

And since we're now about done with the eighth grade, that, my friend, makes more than half a decade of?

strategicavoidance

?and social?

discomfort

.

strategic /str??ti?d??k/ adj.?戰(zhàn)略(上)的

avoidance /??v??d?ns/ n.?回避

discomfort /d?s?k?mf?rt/ n.?不便之處

5

She didn't just?

barge

?into my life. She barged and?

shoved

?and?

wedged

?her way into my life.

barge /bɑ?rd?/ vi.?闖

shove /??v/ vt. & vi.?猛推

wedge /wed?/ vi.?擠進(jìn)

6

Did we invite her to get into our moving van and start climbing all over boxes?

7

No!

8

But that's?

exactly

?what she did,?

taking over

?and?

showing off

?like only Juli Baker can.

exactly /?ɡ'z?ktli/?正是如此

take over?接管

show off?出風(fēng)頭

9

My dad tried to stop her.

10

“Hey!” he says as she's?

catapulting

?herself on board. “What are you doing? You're getting mud everywhere!”

catapult /'k?t?p?lt/ v. (仿佛被彈射般地)突然快速移動

11

So true, too. Her shoes were, like,?

caked

?with the stuff.

cake /kek/ v.?（用會變干的東西厚厚地）覆蓋

12

She didn't?

hop

?out,?

though

. Instead, she?

planted

?her?

rear

?end on the floor and started pushing a big box with her feet.

hop /hɑ?p/ vi.?跳躍

though /eo/ adv.?不過

plant /pl?nt/ vt.?安置

rear /r?r/ n.[美俚]屁股

13

“Don't you want some help?” She glanced my way. “It sure looks like you need it.”

14

I didn't like the?

implication

.

implication /??mpl??ke??n/ n.?暗示

15

And even though my dad had been?

tossing

?me the same sort of look all week, I could tell — he didn't like this girl either.

toss /t??s/ n.?投擲

16

“Hey! Don't do that,” he warned her. “There are some really valuable things in that box.”

17

“Oh. Well, how about this one?” She?

scoots

?over to a box?

labeled

?

LENOX

?and looks my way again. “We should push it together!”

scoot /skut/ vi.?快走

Lenox n.?瓷器品牌名

label /?le?bl/ vt.?標(biāo)注

18

“No, no, no!” my dad says, then pulls her up by the arm. “Why don't you run along home? Your mother's probably wondering where you are.”

19

This was the beginning of my soon-to-become-

acute

?

awareness

?that the girl cannot take a hint. Of any kind.

acute /??kju?t/ adj.?嚴(yán)重的

awareness /??wern?s/ n.?意識

20

Does she?

zip

?on home like a kid should when they've been invited to leave?

zip /z?p/ vi.?以尖嘯聲行進(jìn)

21

No.

22

She says, “Oh, my mom knows where I am. She said it was fine.”

23

Then she points across the street and says, “We just live right over there.”

24

My father looks to where she's pointing and mutters, “Oh boy.”

25

Then he looks at me and winks as he says, “Bryce, isn't it time for you to go inside and help your mother?”

26

I knew?

right off

?that this was a?

ditch play

.

right off?立刻

ditch play?小花招

27

And I didn't think about it until later, but ditch wasn't a play I'd run with my dad before.

28

Face it

, pulling a ditch is not something discussed with dads.

face it?表面看來

29

It's like, against?

parental

?law to tell your kid it's okay to?

ditch

?someone, no matter how annoying or muddy they might be.

parental /p??rentl/ adj.?父母的

ditch /d?t?/ v. [非正式]擺脫

30

But there he was, putting the play in?

motion

, and man, he didn't have to wink twice.

motion /?mo??n/ n.?運動

31

I smiled and said, “Sure thing!” then jumped off the?

liftgate

?and headed for my new front door.

liftgate /?l?ft?ɡet/ n.?提升式門

32

I heard her coming after me but I couldn't believe it.

33

Maybe it just sounded like she was?

chasing

?me; maybe she was really going the other way.

chase /t?e?s/ vi.?追趕

34

But before I got up the nerve to look, she?

blasted

?right past me, grabbing my arm and?

yanking

?me along.

blast /bl?st/ vi.?猛攻

yank /j??k/ vt.?猛拉

35

This was too much

.

This was too much?這太過分了

36

I planted myself and was about to tell her to?

get lost

?when the?

weirdest

?thing happened.

get lost?走開

weird /w?rd/ adj.?離奇的

37

I was making this big?

windmill

?motion to?

break away

?from her, but somehow on the?

downswing

?my hand?

wound uptangling

?into hers.

windmill /'w?nd'm?l/ v.?使(手臂)作風(fēng)車般轉(zhuǎn)動

break away?脫離

downswing /'da?nsw??/ n.?下降趨勢

wind up (以...)告終

tangle /?t??ɡl/ vt. & vi. (使)纏結(jié)

38

I couldn't believe it.

39

There I was, holding the mud monkey's hand!

40

I tried to?

shake

?her off, but she just?

clamped

?on tight and yanked me along, saying, “C'mon!”

shake /?ek/ vi.?搖動

clamp /kl?mp/ vt.?夾緊

41

My mom came out of the house and immediately got the world's?

sappiest

?look on her face.

sappy /'s?pi/ adj.?愚笨的

42

“Well, hello,” she says to Juli.

43

“Hi!”

44

I'm still trying to pull free, but the girl's got me in a death grip.

45

My mom's grinning, looking at our hands and my?

fiery

?red face. “And what's your name, honey?”

fiery /'fa??ri/ adj.?燃燒般的

46

“Julianna Baker. I live right over there,” she says, pointing with her?

unoccupied

?hand.

unoccupied /??n'ɑkjupa?d/ adj.?未被占用的

47

“Well, I see you've met my son,” she says, still grinning away.

48

“Uh-huh!”

49

Finally I break free and do the only?

manly

?thing?

available

?when you're seven years old — I?

dive

?behind my mother.

manly /'m?nli/ adj.?有男子氣概的

available /??ve?l?bl/ adj.?可用的或可得到的

dive /da?v/ vi.?撲向

50

Mom puts her arm around me and says, “Bryce, honey, why don't you show Julianna around the house?”

51

I?

flash

?her help and warning?

signals

?with every part of my body, but she's not receiving.

flash /fl??/ v.?傳送(信息)

signal /?s?ɡn?l/ n.?信號

52

Then she shakes me off and says, “Go on.”

53

Juli would've?

tramped

?right in if my mother hadn't noticed her shoes and told her to take them off.

tramp /tr?mp/ vi.?踩

54

And after those were off, my mom told her that her dirty socks had to go, too.

55

Juli wasn't embarrassed. Not a bit.

56

She just peeled them off and left them in a?

crusty

?

heap

?on our porch.

crusty /'kr?sti/ n.?像外殼一樣的

heap /hi?p/ vi.?堆起來

57

I didn't exactly give her a?

tour

. I locked myself in the bathroom instead.

tour /t?r/ n.?觀光

58

And after about ten minutes of yelling back at her that no, I wasn't coming out?

anytime soon

, things got quiet out in the hall.

anytime soon?很快

59

Another ten minutes went by before I got the nerve to peek out the door. No Juli.

60

I?

snuck

?out and looked around, and yes! She was gone.

sneak /sni?k/ vt.?溜

61

Not a very?

sophisticated

?ditch, but hey, I was only seven.

sophisticated /s??f?st?ke?t?d/ adj.?老練的

62

My troubles were far from over, though.

63

Every day she came back, over and over again.

64

“Can Bryce play?” I could hear her asking from my hiding place behind the couch. “Is he ready yet?”

65

One time she even?

cut across

?the yard and looked through my window.

cut across?徑直穿過

66

I?

spotted

?her in the?

nick

?of time and dove under my bed, but man, that right there tells you something about Juli Baker.

spot /spɑ?t/ vt.?認(rèn)出

nick /n?k/ n.?恰是時候

67

She's got no concept of personal space. No respect for privacy.

68

The world is her playground, and?

watch out

?below — Juli's?

on the slide

!

watch out?小心

on the slide?日益惡化

69

Lucky for me, my dad was willing to run block. And he did it over and over again.

70

He told her I was busy or sleeping or just?

plain

?gone. He was a lifesaver.

plain /ple?n/ adv.?完全地

71

My sister, on the other hand, tried to?

sabotage

?me any chance she got.

sabotage /?s?b?tɑ??/ vi.?蓄意破壞

72

Lynetta's like that.

73

She's four years older than me, and buddy, I've learned from watching her how not to run your life.

74

She's got?

ANTAGONIZE

?written all over her.

antagonize /?n?t?ɡ?na?z/ vt.?使......對抗

75

Just look at her — not cross-eyed or with your tongue sticking out or anything — just look at her and you've started an argument.

76

I used to?

knock-down-drag-out

?with her, but it's just not worth it.

knock-down-drag-out adj. (爭吵或打架)激烈的

77

Girls don't fight?

fair

.

fair /fer/ adv.?公平地

78

They pull your hair and?

gouge

?you and pinch you; then they run off gasping to mommy when you try and defend yourself with a?

fist

.

gouge /ɡa?d?/ vt.?欺騙

fist /f?st/ n.?拳頭

79

Then you get locked into?

time-out

, and for what?

time-out /?ta?m?a?t/ n.?暫停

80

No, my friend, the secret is, don't?

snap

?at the?

bait

. Let it?

dangle

. Swim around it. Laugh it off.

snap /sn?p/ vi.?咬

bait /be?t/ n.?誘餌

dangle /?d??ɡl/ vt. (使)懸蕩

81

After a while they'll give up and try to?

lure

?someone else.

lure /l?r/ vt.?引誘

82

At least that's the way it is with Lynetta.

83

And the?

bonus

?of having her as a?

pain-in-the-rear

?sister was?

figuring out

?that this?

method

?works on everyone.

bonus /?bo?n?s/ n.?額外好處

pain-in-the-rear n.?十分令人討厭的人或事

figure out?解決

method /?meθ?d/ n.?方法

84

Teachers, jerks at school, even Mom and Dad.

85

Seriously

. There's no?

winning

?arguments with your parents, so why get all?

pumped up

?over them?

seriously /'s?r??sli/ [非正式]真的

winning /'w?n??/ adj.?獲勝的

pump up?熱切期望

86

It is way better to dive down and get out of the way than it is to get?

clobbered

?by some parental?

tidal

?wave.

clobber /'klɑb?/ vt.?擊倒

tidal /'ta?dl/ adj.?潮汐的

87

The funny thing is, Lynetta's still?

clueless

?when it comes to dealing with Mom and Dad.

clueless /'klul?s/ adj.?很愚蠢的

88

She?

goes straight into

?

thrash

?

mode

?and is too busy?

drowning

?in the argument to take a deep breath and dive for calmer water.

go straight into?直接進(jìn)入

thrash /θr??/ n.?逆風(fēng)浪行進(jìn)

mode /mo?d/ n.?方式

drown /dra?n/ vt.?淹沒

89

And she thinks I'm stupid.

90

Anyway,?

true to form

, Lynetta tried to bait me with Juli those first few days.

true to form?一如往常

91

She even?

snuck

?her past Dad once and?

marched

?her all around the house, hunting me down.

sneak /sn?k/ vt.?偷偷取得

march /mɑ?rt?/ v.（某人）一起走

92

I wedged myself up on the top shelf of my closet, and lucky for me, neither of them looked up.

93

A few minutes later I heard Dad yell at Juli to get off the?

antique

?furniture, and once again, she got?

booted

.

antique /?n?ti?k/ adj.?古董的

get booted?被趕出

94

I don't think I went outside that whole first week. I helped?

unpack

?stuff and watched TV

unpack /??n?p?k/ vt. & vi.?從(包裹等)中取出(所裝的東西)

95

and just kind of hung around while my mom and dad arranged and rearranged the furniture,?

debating

?whether Empire?

settees

?and French Rococo tables should even be put in the same room.

debate /d??be?t/ vi.?討論

settee /s?'ti/ n.?有靠背的長椅

96

So believe me, I was?

dying to

?go outside.?

dye to?渴望做......

97

But every time I checked through the window, I could see Juli showing off in her yard.

dye to?渴望做......

98

She'd be?

heading

?a soccer ball or doing?

high kicks

?with it or?

dribbling

?it up and down their driveway.

head /hed/ v.?用頭頂（球）

high kick?高踢腿

dribble /'dr?bl/ vt. & vi.?運球

99

And when she wasn't busy showing off, she'd just sit on the?

curb

?with the ball between her feet, staring at our house.

curb /k??rb/ n. [美]路緣

100

My mom didn't understand why it was so awful that “that cute little girl” had held my hand.

101

She thought I should make friends with her. “I thought you liked soccer, honey. Why don't you go out there and kick the ball around?”

102

Because I didn't want to be?

kicked around

, that's why.

kicked around?被粗暴對待

103

And although I couldn't say it like that?

at the time

, I still had enough sense at age seven and a half to know that Juli Baker was dangerous.

at the time?那時候

104

Unavoidably dangerous,?

as it turns out

. The minute I walked into Mrs. Yelson's second-grade classroom, I was?

dead meat

.

as it turns out?事實證明

dead meat?死定了

105

“Bryce!” Juli?

squeals

. “You're here.”

squeal /skwil/ vi.?尖聲地說

106

Then she?

charges

?across the room and?

tackles

?me.

charge /t?ɑ?rd?/ vi.?向前沖

tackle /?t?kl/ vt. & vi.?捉住

107

Mrs. Yelson tried to explain this attack away as a “welcome hug,” but man, that was no hug. That was a?

front-line

, take-'em-down?

tackle

.

front-line /?fr?nt?la?n/ adj.?前線的

tackle /?t?kl/ n.?擒抱

108

And even though I shook her off, it was too late. I was?

branded

?for life.

brand /br?nd/ vt.?打烙印于

109

Everyone jeered, “Where's your girl friend, Bryce?”

110

“Are you married yet, Bryce?”

111

And then when she chased me around at?

recess

?and tried to lay kisses on me, the whole school started singing, “Bryce and Juli sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G…”

recess /?ri?ses/ n.?學(xué)校的課間休息

112

My first year in town was a?

disaster

.

disaster /d??z?st?r/ n.?不幸

113

Third grade wasn't much better. She was still hot on my trail every time I turned around. Same with fourth.

114

But then in fifth grade I took action.

115

It started out slow - one of those Nah-that's-not-right ideas you get and forget.

116

But the more I played with the idea, the more I thought, What better way to?

ward

?Juli off? What better way to say to her, “Juli, you are not my type”?

ward /w??rd/ vt.?避開

117

And so, my friend, I hatched the plan.

118

I?

asked Shelly Stalls out

.

ask someone out?邀請某人約會

119

To fully?

appreciate

?the?

brilliance

?of this, you have to understand that Juli hates Shelly Stalls. She always has, though it?

beats me

?why.

appreciate /??pri??ie?t/ vt.?賞識

brilliance /?br?li?ns/ n. (卓越的)才華

beats me?我不知道

120

Shelly's nice and she's friendly and she's got a lot of hair. What's not to like?

121

But Juli hated her, and I was going to make this little?

gem

?of knowledge the solution to my problem.

gem /d??m/ n.?寶物

122

What I was thinking was that Shelly would eat lunch at our table and maybe walk around a little with me.

123

That way, anytime Juli was around, all I'd have to do was hang a little closer to Shelly and things would just naturally?

take care of

?themselves.

take care of?處理

124

What happened,?

though

, is that Shelly?

took

?things?

way

?too seriously.

though /eo/ adv.?然而

take /tek/ vt. (以某種方式)對待

way /we/ adv.?大大地

125

She went around telling everybody — including Juli — that we were in love.

126

In no time Juli and Shelly got into some kind of?

catfight

, and while Shelly was recovering from that, my supposed friend Garrett — who had been totally?

behind

?this plan — told her what I was?

up to

.

catfight /'k?tfa?t/ n.?激烈的爭辯

behind /b?'ha?nd/ prep.?支持

up to?在做......

127

He's always?

denied

?it, but I've since learned that his?

code

?of honor is easily?

corrupted

?by?

weepy

?females.

deny /d??na?/ vt.?否認(rèn)知情

code /ko?d/ n.?道德準(zhǔn)則

corrupt /k??r?pt/ vi.?腐化

weepy /'wipi/ adj.?動不動就哭的

128

That afternoon the principal tried?

cross-examining

?me, but I wouldn't?

cop

?to anything.

cross-examine /?kr?s?ɡ?z?m?n/ vt.?對…盤問

cop /kɑ?p/ v.?抓獲

129

I just kept telling her that I was sorry and that I really didn't understand what had happened. Finally she let me go.

130

Shelly cried for days and followed me around school sniffling and making me feel like a real jerk, which was even worse than having Juli as a shadow.

131

Everything blew over at the one-week mark, though, when Shelly?

officially

?

dumped

?me and started?

going out with

Kyle Larsen.

officially /??f???li/ adv.?官方地

dump /d?mp/ v.?與(某人)結(jié)束戀愛關(guān)系

go out with?與某人約會

132

Then Juli started up with the?

goo-goo

?eyes again, and I was back to?

square one

.

goo-goo /'ɡu:ɡu:/ adj.?〈俚〉著迷的

square one /skwer/?回到起點

133

Now, in sixth grade things changed, though whether they improved is hard to say.

134

I don't remember Juli actually chasing me in the sixth grade. But I do remember her sniffing me.

135

Yes, my friend, I said sniffing.

136

And you can blame that on our teacher, Mr. Mertins. He?

stuck

?Juli to me like?

glue

.

stick /st?k/ vt.?粘住

glue /ɡlu?/ n.?膠

137

Mr. Mertins has got some kind of?

doctorate

?in seating arrangements or something, because he analyzed and?

scrutinized

?and?

practically

?

baptized

?the seats we had to sit in.

doctorate /?dɑ?kt?r?t/ n.?博士學(xué)位

scrutinize /?skru?t?na?z/ vt.?仔細(xì)檢查

practically /?pr?kt?kli/ adv.?實事求是地

baptize vt.?使經(jīng)受考驗

138

And of course he decided to?

seat

?Juli right next to me.

seat /sit/ vt.?使就座

139

Juli Baker is the kind of annoying person who?

makes a point of letting

?you know she's smart.

make a point of doing?重視做

140

Her hand is the first one up; her answers are usually complete?

dissertations

; her projects are always turned in early and used as?

weapons

?against the rest of the class.

dissertation /?d?s?r?te??n/ n.?專題論文

weapon /'wep?n/ n.?武器

141

Teachers always have to hold her project up and say, “This is what I'm looking for, class. This is an example of A-plus work.”

142

Add all the extra?

credit

?she does to an already perfect score, and I?

swear

?she's never gotten less than 120 percent in any subject.

credit /?kred?t/ n.?學(xué)分

swear /swer/ vi.?發(fā)誓

143

But after Mr. Mertins stuck Juli right next to me, her annoying knowledge of all subjects?

far and wide

?came in?

handy

.

far and wide adv.?廣泛地

handy /?h?ndi/ adj.?有用的

144

See, suddenly Juli's perfect answers, written in perfect?

cursive

, were right across the?

aisle

, just an?

eye-shot

?away.

cursive /'k?s?v/ n.?草書

aisle /a?l/ n.?通道

eyeshot /'a?,?ɑt/ n.?視野

145

You wouldn't believe the number of answers I?

snagged

?from her.

snag /sn?ɡ/ vi.?抓住

146

I started getting A's and B's on everything! It was great!

147

But then Mr. Mertins pulled the shift.

148

He had some new idea for “

optimizing

?

positional

?

latitude

?and?

longitude

,” and?

when the dust finally settled

, I was sitting right in front of Juli Baker.

optimize /?ɑ?pt?ma?z/ vi.?優(yōu)化

positional /p?'z???n?l/ adj.?位置的

latitude /?l?t?tu?d/ n.?緯度

longitude /?lɑ?nd??tu?d/ n.?經(jīng)度

when the dust settle?塵埃落定

149

This is where the sniffing comes in.

150

That?

maniac

?started leaning forward and sniffing my hair.

maniac /'men??k/ n.?瘋子

151

She'd edge her nose practically up to my?

scalp

?and sniff-sniff-sniff.

scalp /sk?lp/ n.?頭皮

152

I tried elbowing and back-kicking. I tried?

scooting

?my chair way forward or putting my?

backpack

?between me and the seat.

scoot chair?挪動椅子

backpack /'b?k'p?k/ n.?背包

153

Nothing helped.

154

She'd just?

scoot up

, too, or lean over a little farther and sniff-sniff-sniff.

scoot up?往前一點

155

I finally asked Mr. Mertins to move me, but he wouldn't do it.

156

Something about not wanting to disturb the?

delicate

?balance of educational energies.

delicate /?del?k?t/ adj.?微妙的

157

Whatever. I was stuck with her sniffing.

158

And since I couldn't see her perfectly penned answers anymore, my grades took a dive. Especially in spelling.

159

Then one time, during a test, Juli's in the middle of sniffing my hair when she notices that I've?

blown

?a spelling word. A lot of words.

blow /blo?/ v.?出錯

160

Suddenly the sniffing stops and the whispering starts.

161

At first I couldn't believe it. Juli Baker?

cheating

? But?

sure enough

, she was spelling words for me, right in my ear.

cheat /t?i?t/ vi.?作弊

sure enough?果然如此

162

Juli'd always been?

sly

?about sniffing, which really?

bugged

?me because no one ever noticed her doing it, but she was just as sly about giving me answers, which was okay by me.

sly /sla?/ adj.?狡猾的

bug /b?ɡ/ vt.?使厭煩

163

The bad thing about it was that I started?

counting on

?her spelling in my ear.

count on?指望

164

I mean, why study when you don't have to, right?

165

But after a while, taking all those answers made me feel sort of?

indebted

?to her.

indebt /?n'd?t/ v.?使受恩惠

166

How can you tell someone to?

bug off

?or quit sniffing you when you?

owe

?them? It's, you know, wrong.

bug off?滾開

owe /o?/ vt.?欠…債

167

So I spent the sixth grade somewhere between uncomfortable and unhappy, but I kept thinking that next year, next year, things would be different.

168

We'd be in junior high — a big school — in different classes.

169

It would be a world with too many people to worry about ever seeing Juli Baker again.

170

It was finally, finally going to be over.

171