正文翻譯

A couple of years ago, my friends and I called an Uber to take us to a Laker game. We were a motley crew, reflective of the diversity of Los Angeles, and I was the only Asian. The driver, who spoke with an accent that made me believe he was an immigrant like myself, asked us all where we were from.?

幾年前，我和朋友們叫了一輛滴滴帶我們去看湖人隊的比賽。我們這群人里東南西北的人都有，這反映了洛杉磯的多樣性，而我是其中唯一的亞裔人。司機說話的口音讓我相信他和我一樣是移民，他問我們都是哪里人。

Although I was born in South Korea, I lived most of my life in the States from age 3 and onward. Since then I’ve spent so much of my time here trying to convince everyone, including myself, that I am indeed American. It is an isolating and lonely existence, one that is specific to the Asian American experience.

雖然我出生在韓國，但從3歲開始，我大部分時間都生活在美國。從那時起，我在這里花了很多時間試圖說服所有人，包括我自己，我確實是美國人。這是一種孤立和孤獨的生活，是美國亞裔特有的經(jīng)歷。

I sat still, frozen in discomfort and silence, as my friends giggled. I began to replay similar scenes from my childhood in my head while sitting in a car with another person of color othering and jeering me while my non-Asian friends stifled their laughter. I couldn’t help but wonder: Why does everyone else find me and my experience so funny??

我靜靜地坐著，呆呆地看著我的朋友們傻笑。我開始在腦海中回放童年時的類似場景，當時我坐在車里，另一個有色人種對我進行謾罵和嘲笑，而我的非亞裔朋友們則忍著笑意。我不禁疑惑。為什么別人都覺得我和我的經(jīng)歷如此有趣？

After many years of enduring a special kind of racial trauma, I learned the answer. This is what no one tells you about being Asian in America in 2021: Our world minimizes us and we minimize ourselves.?

經(jīng)過多年忍受一種特殊的種族創(chuàng)傷，我知道了答案。這就是沒人會告訴你的2021年美國亞裔現(xiàn)狀。我們的世界貶低我們，我們也貶低我們自己。

This lack of acknowledgement is nothing new for Asian Americans. We are used to being ignored. We are used to minimizing our own pain because we don’t want to rock the boat.

對美國亞裔來說，這種不被承認的情況并不新鮮。我們習慣于被忽視。我們習慣于把自己的痛苦降到最低，因為我們不想找麻煩。

Although there is a world of diversity among Asians, these cultural ideals have forged a shared minority experience: Asians are extremely collective with strong family values and a sense of putting others first. This is clearly evident in how Asian countries have handled the spread of COVID-19. We wear masks not for ourselves, but to protect those around us. We come from countries where we are born with a sense of duty to our families and regard our neighbors as one of our own.

雖然亞裔中也存在著廣泛的多樣性，但有些文化鑄就了這個少數(shù)族裔的共同經(jīng)驗。亞洲人的集體觀念極強，具有強烈的家庭價值觀和以人為本的意識。這一點從亞洲國家如何處理新冠病毒的傳播就可以清楚地看出。我們戴口罩不是為了自己，而是為了保護身邊的人。我們來自這樣的國家，在那里，我們生來就有對家庭的責任感，并把我們的鄰居視為自己人。

As children, we were taught not to talk back, to be respectful, and to be mindful of others. As adults, we continue to be silent and fear taking up space when discussing racism in America because we don’t want to diminish other minority groups’ experiences. Our repeated racial trauma and childhood conditioning prevent us from speaking up and making our voices heard.

小時候，我們被教導不要頂嘴，要尊重他人，要注意他人。作為成年人，我們繼續(xù)保持沉默，害怕在討論美國的種族主義時引起注意，因為我們不想貶低其他少數(shù)群體。我們反復的種族創(chuàng)傷和童年的經(jīng)歷使我們無法大聲說話，無法讓別人聽到我們的聲音。

Instead, it pits us against one another — just as the Model Minority Myth was designed to do.?

取而代之的是，它會使我們彼此更加對立，就像“模范少數(shù)族裔”（在美國，亞裔被稱為模范少數(shù)族裔）這個神話就是被設計用來做這個的那樣。

As a psychotherapist who works with Asian and immigrant populations in both public and private settings, the most prevailing emotions I help clients process are guilt and shame. I believe these feelings derive from our collective roots that often teeter on codependency.

作為一名在公共和私人環(huán)境中為亞裔移民群體服務的心理治療師，我?guī)椭蛻籼幚淼淖钇毡榈那榫w是內疚和羞愧。我相信這些情緒來自于我們的集體根源，而這種根源往往會讓人產(chǎn)生依賴性。

For many, our life’s mission is to make our parents proud. We can’t help but seek others’ approval, and we care deeply about what others think about us. It is this cultural norm that has made us susceptible and vulnerable to the Model Minority Myth, which argues that if we behave and work hard enough, we will finally be seen as equals — as white. In addition, this myth perpetuates that racism, including more than two centuries of Black enslavement, can be overcome by hard work and strong family values.

對于很多人來說，我們的人生的使命就是讓父母驕傲。我們不由自主地尋求別人的認可，我們非常在意別人對我們的看法。正是這種文化，使我們很容易受到 "模范少數(shù)族裔 "神話的影響和傷害，該神話認為，如果我們表現(xiàn)得足夠好，足夠努力，我們最終會被視為與白人平等的人。此外，這一神話使得種族主義，包括兩個多世紀對黑人的奴役，可以通過努力工作和強大的家庭價值觀來洗白。

It’s why I, a non-Black person of color, have a hard time discussing racism against Asians in America. To this day, I feel self-conscious calling myself a person of color due to my proximity to whiteness. However, this proximity doesn’t make me white either, as I am regularly reminded of this when people of all colors — white, Black, and everything in between — tell me that I don’t belong here.?

這就是為什么我，一個非黑人的有色人種，很難討論美國對亞裔的種族主義。時至今日，我自覺稱自己為有色人種，即使我的膚色更接近白人。然而，這種接近也并不使我成為白人，因為各色人等——白人、黑人以及介于兩者之間的一切人告訴我，我不屬于這里時，我經(jīng)常被提醒這一點。

What’s even worse is when we do finally muster the courage to speak up, sometimes we are met with dismissing comments like “Well that’s not racism” or “What’s so bad about that?” This reinforces the feelings of being dismissed and feeling unimportant — things we may have internalized as non-Black people of color and children of immigrants whose experiences pale in comparison to our immigrant parents’ traumatic past.?

更糟糕的是，當我們最終鼓起勇氣說出來的時候，有時我們會得到諸如 "這又不是種族主義 "或 "這有什么不對的？"之類的否定意見。 "這就加強了我們被忽視的感覺——我們已經(jīng)內化為非黑人有色人種的和移民的孩子，他們的經(jīng)歷與我們移民父母痛苦的過去相比顯得蒼白。

Those who experience complex trauma have a tendency to feel unheard, unseen and unable to make change. What is unique about complex racial trauma is that it occurs on both societal and individual levels. The world that we exist in tells us that we don’t matter, our family’s words at home also reflect this sentiment, and we begin to internalize these negative core beliefs.

經(jīng)歷過復雜創(chuàng)傷的人有一種傾向，即覺得自己不被聽到、不被看到，也無法做出改變。復雜的種族創(chuàng)傷的獨特之處在于，它發(fā)生在社會和個人兩個層面。我們所處的世界告訴我們，我們并不重要，家人在家里的言語也反映了這種情緒，我們開始將這些消極的核心信念內化。

These negative core beliefs then manifest in our daily lives in myriad ways. We come to believe that we don’t matter and behave in ways that reflect this belief — at home, work, school, and in our relationships — becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy. What other people see is that we are submissive, quiet and reserved. What we actually feel is that we are not as important, therefore we should just follow others’ opinions and desires. Why speak up when no one else cares anyway??

這些消極的核心信念在我們的日常生活中以各種方式表現(xiàn)出來。我們開始相信自己并不重要，并以反映這種信念的方式行事——在家庭、工作、學校和我們的關系中——真是一語成讖。別人看到的是我們的順從、安靜、矜持。我們實際感受到的是——我們并不那么重要，因此我們應該只聽從別人的意見和欲望。反正別人都不在乎，何必說出來呢？

As we continue to practice anti-racism and work toward more diversity and inclusion, individually and collectively, I hope that we can do just that and involve all groups in the discussion. We can’t call ourselves anti-racists until we acknowledge all marginalized people, including Asian Americans.?

在我們繼續(xù)踐行反種族主義，努力實現(xiàn)更多的多樣性和包容性的同時，我希望我們能夠做到這一點，讓所有群體都參與討論。在我們承認包括亞裔美國人在內的所有邊緣化人群之前，我們不能稱自己為反種族主義者。