A WORK OF ART 己所不欲

原作契訶夫 Translated by Constance Garnett 1886

SASHA SMIRNOV, the only son of his mother, holding under his arm, something wrapped up in No. 223 of the Financial News, assumed a sentimental expression, and went into Dr. Koshelkov’s consulting-room.

孫小剛興高采烈地來到侯大夫的候診室，胳膊底下揣著一件裹著報紙的東西。

“Ah, dear lad!” was how the doctor greeted him. “Well! how are we feeling? What good news have you for me?”

“喲，剛子！”侯大夫問候道，“好點了吧？這幾天感覺怎么樣？”

Sasha blinked, laid his hand on his heart and said in an agitated voice: “Mamma sends her greetings to you, Ivan Nikolaevitch, and told me to thank you.... I am the only son of my mother and you have saved my life... you have brought me through a dangerous illness and... we do not know how to thank you.”

剛子眨了眨眼，手摸著胸脯，不能自已地開口道：“大夫，我媽讓我來謝謝您……我媽就我這一個兒子，您救我一命就是救了我全家…您把我治好了…我下輩子做牛做馬也要報答您。”

“Nonsense, lad!” said the doctor, highly delighted. “I only did what anyone else would have done in my place.”

“太客氣啦！”侯大夫很受用，“當大夫的不給人治病還叫大夫嗎?！?/p>

“I am the only son of my mother... we are poor people and cannot of course repay you, and we are quite ashamed, doctor, although, however, mamma and I... the only son of my mother, earnestly beg you to accept in token of our gratitude... this object, which... An object of great value, an antique bronze.... A rare work of art.”

“我媽就我這一個兒子…我們家里窮，沒辦法報答您，慚愧啊，大夫，我們太對不起您了…這是我跟我媽的一點心意…求您收下吧…這是件古董，一件銅器…是件好寶貝。”

“You shouldn’t!” said the doctor, frowning. “What’s this for!”

“使不得！”侯大夫皺眉道，“我哪能要你們的東西！”

“No, please do not refuse,” Sasha went on muttering as he unpacked the parcel. “You will wound mamma and me by refusing.... It’s a fine thing... an antique bronze.... It was left us by my deceased father and we have kept it as a precious souvenir. My father used to buy antique bronzes and sell them to connoisseurs... Mamma and I keep on the business now.”

“您就拿著吧?！眲傋舆叢鸢呧絿佒澳遣灰脑捨液臀覌寱^意不去的…您看，多好的東西，這是我爸爸臨走的時候留下的，我們家一直收藏著。我爸爸以前就是倒騰銅器的…我和我媽現(xiàn)在也干這行?！?/p>

Sasha undid the object and put it solemnly on the table. It was a not very tall candelabra of old bronze and artistic workmanship. It consisted of a group: on the pedestal stood two female figures in the costume of Eve and in attitudes for the description of which I have neither the courage nor the fitting temperament. The figures were smiling coquettishly and altogether looked as though, had it not been for the necessity of supporting the candlestick, they would have skipped off the pedestal and have indulged in an orgy such as is improper for the reader even to imagine.

剛子解開包裹，把東西鄭重地擺在了桌子上。是一件精雕細刻，上了年頭的大燭臺。這件燭臺應該是成對的：底座上刻著兩個從頭光到腳的女的，至于二人的神情，礙于風序良俗，我就不細細描述了。她們的臉上都掛著浪笑，仿佛她倆的本職不是支撐燭臺，而是別的什么有傷風化的事，至于是什么就供您自行遐想吧。

Looking at the present, the doctor slowly scratched behind his ear, cleared his throat and blew his nose irresolutely.

看了看禮物，侯大夫撓了撓耳朵背，清了清嗓，躊躇不定地醒了醒鼻子。

“Yes, it certainly is a fine thing,” he muttered, “but... how shall I express it?... it’s... h’m... it’s not quite for family reading. It’s not simply decolleté but beyond anything, dash it all. . . .”

“啊哈哈，是，是不錯?！彼÷暤?，“不過…嘶…怎么說呢？這，這…不太適合擺在家里。首先說它缺一個配對的，再者這玩意兒實在不像話……”

“How do you mean?”

“什么叫不像話？”

“The serpent-tempter himself could not have invented anything worse.... Why, to put such a phantasmagoria on the table would be defiling the whole flat.”

“好家伙，讓外人看見還以為打窯子里順出來的呢……這玩意兒在家里沒法放啊?！?/p>

“What a strange way of looking at art, doctor!” said Sasha, offended. “Why, it is an artistic thing, look at it! There is so much beauty and elegance that it fills one’s soul with a feeling of reverence and brings a lump into one’s throat! When one sees anything so beautiful one forgets everything earthly.... Only look, how much movement, what an atmosphere, what expression!”

“您不懂，這是藝術！”剛子反對道，“您看看，您看看！多美麗，多優(yōu)雅，您看了不覺得感動嗎，不覺得想哭嗎？我都快掉眼淚了……您看這造型，這神韻，這氣質！”

“I understand all that very well, my dear boy,” the doctor interposed, “but you know I am a family man, my children run in here, ladies come in.”

“剛子你別急，我懂，我都懂。”侯大夫攔道，“可是回頭叫我老婆孩子看見多不合適，再說來我這兒看病的還有大姑娘，讓人家瞧見了也不行啊。”

“Of course if you look at it from the point of view of the crowd,” said Sasha, “then this exquisitely artistic work may appear in a certain light.... But, doctor, rise superior to the crowd, especially as you will wound mamma and me by refusing it. I am the only son of my mother, you have saved my life.... We are giving you the thing most precious to us and... and I only regret that I have not the pair to present to you. . . .”

“您怎么能跟他們一般見識呢？”剛子說道，“您把它想得太庸俗了……您得拿藝術的眼光去欣賞它，您千萬別推托，這可是我們的一片心意啊。我媽就我這一個兒子，您救了我的命，就是救了我媽的命…我們家也沒什么值得給您的了…真對不起，好容易有個拿得出手的寶貝還不是成對的……”

“Thank you, my dear fellow, I am very grateful... Give my respects to your mother but really consider, my children run in here, ladies come.... However, let it remain! I see there’s no arguing with you.”

“沒事，剛子，這情我領了……回頭替我給家里帶個好，但是你這個，我這兒真的不合適，我家里有老婆孩子，還有來看病的，我……算了，好，我收下！咱也別爭了?！?/p>

“And there is nothing to argue about,” said Sasha, relieved. “Put the candlestick here, by this vase. What a pity we have not the pair to it! It is a pity! Well, good-bye, doctor.”

“您甭客氣?！眲傋痈吲d道，“您就擺在花瓶邊上吧。就是可惜不是成對的了！太可惜了！您忙吧，大夫，我走了。”

After Sasha’s departure the doctor looked for a long time at the candelabra, scratched behind his ear and meditated.

剛子走后，侯大夫盯了燭臺很久，一邊撓耳背，一邊思索著。

“It’s a superb thing, there’s no denying it,” he thought, “and it would be a pity to throw it away.... But it’s impossible for me to keep it.... H’m!... Here’s a problem! To whom can I make a present of it, or to what charity can I give it?”

“東西是好東西，”他想道，“扔了就可惜了……不過在家里也沒法放啊…怎么辦哪…頭疼！要么找地方捐出去，要么就找個人送了吧。”

After long meditation he thought of his good friend, the lawyer Uhov, to whom he was indebted for the management of legal business.

想了好一會兒，他想起一好朋友，賀律師，他幫過他不少忙。

“Excellent,” the doctor decided, “it would be awkward for him as a friend to take money from me, and it will be very suitable for me to present him with this. I will take him the devilish thing! Luckily he is a bachelor and easy-going.”

“正好，”侯大夫決定道，“我倆這交情給錢就生分了，何不賣個人情把這東西送給他。這倒霉玩意兒給他得了！反正他沒結婚，人也挺好說話的。”

Without further procrastination the doctor put on his hat and coat, took the candelabra and went off to Uhov’s.

說干就干，侯大夫穿衣戴帽，拎著大燭臺就去了賀律師那兒。

“How are you, friend!” he said, finding the lawyer at home. “I’ve come to see you... to thank you for your efforts.... You won’t take money so you must at least accept this thing here.... See, my dear fellow.... The thing is magnificent!”

“賀大哥！您好您好！”他去了正趕上老賀在家，“我來看您來了…謝謝您幫我那么些忙…您還說不收我的錢，但不答謝您我這心里總過意不去，這么著，我送您一件寶貝…您看看！”

On seeing the bronze the lawyer was moved to indescribable delight.

一看見大燭臺，老賀的眼睛一亮。

“What a specimen!” he chuckled. “Ah, deuce take it, to think of them imagining such a thing, the devils! Exquisite! Ravishing! Where did you get hold of such a delightful thing?”

“好寶貝！”他樂道，“嚯，這玩意兒誰做出來的！漂亮！絕了！你哪兒弄來的？”

After pouring out his ecstasies the lawyer looked timidly towards the door and said: “Only you must carry off your present, my boy.... I can’t take it. . . .”

樂了一陣過后，老賀難為情地瞅了瞅房門，說道：“您的心意我領了，但您還是拿回去吧…我不能要……”

“Why?” cried the doctor, disconcerted.

“為什么？”侯大夫慌張地喊道。

“Why... because my mother is here at times, my clients... besides I should be ashamed for my servants to see it.”

“因為…我媽隔三差五會過來，我這兒一天到晚還老有客戶…再者說，讓用人看見了也不合適啊?！?/p>

“Nonsense! Nonsense! Don’t you dare to refuse!” said the doctor, gesticulating. “It’s piggish of you! It’s a work of art!... What movement. . . what expression! I won’t even talk of it! You will offend me!”

“拿著吧拿著吧！別客氣！”侯大夫的胳膊都掄飛了，“你不懂！這是藝術！你看這…這這這…是吧！你看我都沒法形容了！你不要我可翻臉了！”

“If one could plaster it over or stick on fig-leaves...”

“那起碼也把那該擋的地方擋上點吧……”

But the doctor gesticulated more violently than before, and dashing out of the flat went home, glad that he had succeeded in getting the present off his hands.

侯大夫的胳膊掄得更圓了，他腳底抹油一溜煙跑回了家，心想這塊燙手山芋總算是讓出去了。

When he had gone away the lawyer examined the candelabra, fingered it all over, and then, like the doctor, racked his brains over the question what to do with the present.

侯大夫走后，賀律師聚精會神地欣賞著燭臺，又拿在手里把玩了一番，緊接著也和侯大夫一樣抓耳撓腮，琢磨著該怎么處理掉這件東西。

“It’s a fine thing,” he mused, “and it would be a pity to throw it away and improper to keep it. The very best thing would be to make a present of it to someone.... I know what! I’ll take it this evening to Shashkin, the comedian. The rascal is fond of such things, and by the way it is his benefit tonight.”

“東西是真不錯?！彼妓鞯溃皢栴}是扔了吧可惜，留著吧丟臉。最好找個人送出去得了…對了！拿給那說相聲的小曲，這小子就稀罕這個，今晚正好有他的場?！?/p>

No sooner said than done. In the evening the candelabra, carefully wrapped up, was duly carried to Shashkin’s. The whole evening the comic actor’s dressing-room was besieged by men coming to admire the present; the dressing-room was filled with the hum of enthusiasm and laughter like the neighing of horses. If one of the actresses approached the door and asked: “May I come in?” the comedian’s husky voice was heard at once: “No, no, my dear, I am not dressed!”

說去就去，一點不含糊。傍晚時分，大燭臺果然包好了送到了小曲手上。整個晚上后臺都鬧翻了，一群大老爺們兒擠在一塊參觀這件寶貝，一個個笑起來跟馬打響鼻似的，說笑聲把房頂都震塌了。只要有女演員湊到門口，問里邊：“能讓我看看嗎？”小曲那陽剛的聲音準是第一個響起：“別進來，換衣服呢！”

After the performance the comedian shrugged his shoulders, flung up his hands and said: “Well what am I to do with the horrid thing? Why, I live in a private flat! Actresses come and see me! It’s not a photograph that you can put in a drawer!”

散場后，小曲聳著肩膀甩著手抱怨道：“我怎么攤上這么個倒霉玩意？好家伙，幸虧我一個人住，可哪天沒個女的來找我！這又不是相片能擱在抽屜里！”

“You had better sell it, sir,” the hairdresser who was disrobing the actor advised him. “There’s an old woman living about here who buys antique bronzes. Go and enquire for Madame Smirnov... everyone knows her.”

“您賣了不就行了。”化妝的在一旁說道，“咱這兒有個孫大娘專門收老銅器。您上街問問就行…差不多都知道她?！?/p>

The actor followed his advice.... Two days later the doctor was sitting in his consulting-room, and with his finger to his brow was meditating on the acids of the bile. All at once the door opened and Sasha Smirnov flew into the room. He was smiling, beaming, and his whole figure was radiant with happiness. In his hands he held something wrapped up in newspaper.

小曲還真聽了他的話……兩天后，侯大夫坐在候診室里，正在那兒琢磨事。突然間門開了，剛子跟長了翅膀似的沖了進來。他臉上發(fā)著光，喜氣洋洋的，嘴巴都咧到耳朵根了。他手上捧著一件裹著報紙的東西。

“Doctor!” he began breathlessly, “imagine my delight! Happily for you we have succeeded in picking up the pair to your candelabra! Mamma is so happy.... I am the only son of my mother, you saved my life. . . .”

“大夫！”他氣喘吁吁地說道，“太好了！我們找著配對的了！我媽都樂壞了…她就我這一個兒子，您是我們家的大恩人……”

And Sasha, all of a tremor with gratitude, set the candelabra before the doctor. The doctor opened his mouth, tried to say something, but said nothing: he could not speak.

剛子樂得直哆嗦，咣當一聲把燭臺放到了桌上。侯大夫張了張嘴，晾了半天，一個字也說不出來。