I prefer night landings.Even if my Master hadn't decreed it,I would have chosen it.As I approach Tatooine,I can see the lights of the spaceports and the occasional solitary gleam of a moisture farmer's wretched dwelling.The lights tell me things the daylight cannot--the glare of the sun can hide,the sand can camouflage.But most creatures like to have lights at night.They reveal themselves.

我更喜歡在夜晚著陸。即使我的師父沒有特意要求，我也會(huì)這么做。在我接近塔圖因時(shí)，我能看到太空港的燈光和濕氣農(nóng)場主的簡陋住所中時(shí)有時(shí)無的閃光。這些燈光揭示了在白天無法知曉的事——刺眼的陽光能用于隱蔽，沙子能用于偽裝，但大多數(shù)生物喜歡在夜晚開燈。他們暴露了自己。

The sky is an inky blue as I land on an isolated mesa near my first search quadrant,close to Mos Espa.First,I activate detectors to make sure no one is in the area.Lord Sidious has warned me specifically not to attract attention on this mission.The probe droids will conduct the search.I must stay with the ship.

天空呈現(xiàn)著墨藍(lán)色，我降落在了第一塊搜索區(qū)域附近，靠近莫斯埃斯帕一座孤立的山上。我首先啟動(dòng)探測器以確保周圍空無一人。西迪厄斯大人特意警告我不要在這一任務(wù)中引起注意。探測機(jī)器人會(huì)進(jìn)行搜索。我必須和飛船呆在一起。

The wind is cold as I hike to a nearby dune and climb to the top.I sweep the area with my electrobinoculars.I can just make out the spaceport of Mos Espa in the distance.There are other settlements nearby.I activate three probe droids and send them out.The probes have been downloaded with information on the Jedi.They will send back readings that will give me the coordinates of the Jedi's location.

寒風(fēng)徹骨，我徒步登上附近的一座沙丘。我用電子望遠(yuǎn)鏡環(huán)視這一區(qū)域。目光所及之處我只能認(rèn)出莫斯埃斯帕太空港以及附近的其他一些定居點(diǎn)。我派出了三個(gè)已經(jīng)被植入有關(guān)絕地的信息的探測機(jī)器人。它們會(huì)將絕地的位置坐標(biāo)傳送回來給我。

By this time tomorrow,they will be dead at my feet.

明天的這個(gè)時(shí)候，他們就會(huì)死在我的腳下。

I trudge back to the ship.The sand sucks at my boots,and,thanks to my injury,each step requires an effort.Fiery blasts radiate from the wound.Sweat beads up on my forehead.

我艱難地返回了飛船。沙子在我的靴子里滾動(dòng)，而且拜我的傷痛所賜，我的每一步都很吃力。傷口周圍火辣辣的。我的額頭上滲出了汗水。

I loathe weakness.It is time to tend to my wound now that the probes have been launched.

我討厭虛弱的感覺。探測機(jī)器人已經(jīng)離開，我也該照料一下傷口了。

Before I begin to dress my wound,I meditate,focusing on the pain until it becomes fiercer.It becomes every dark thought,every savage feeling I have felt.It becomes a power I can use.

在我開始包扎傷口前，我冥想著，將注意力集中在疼痛上直到它變得更劇烈。它逐漸使我想起我所擁有過的每一個(gè)黑暗的念頭，每一次狂怒的感覺。它成為了能為我所用的力量。

There is no pain where strength lies.

強(qiáng)者沒有痛苦。

My Master has told me that the Jedi look at pain differently.They embrace it.They thank it for alerting them to the fact that they've been wounded and need to care for themselves.They think this helps them heal.

師父向我講述了絕地對(duì)于痛苦截然不同的看法。他們欣然接受它。他們?yōu)樗嵝炎约阂呀?jīng)受傷且需要照料而感謝它。他們認(rèn)為這能幫助他們療傷。

What fools they are.Pain is power.I will take my pain and I will use it against them.

真是一群傻瓜。痛苦就是力量。我將會(huì)吸收我的痛苦并用它來對(duì)抗他們。

When I meet the Jedi,I will be even stronger than before.
當(dāng)我遭遇絕地時(shí)，我將會(huì)比以往任何時(shí)候都要強(qiáng)大。

I delay applying bacta to the wound.I sit motionless,waiting out the pain until it becomes not pain,but desire.My need for revenge against the Jedi burns me.They have done this to me.My pursuit of them has brought me here.I pull the darkness around me like a hooded cloak.I surround myself with anger.

我盡量不使用巴克塔箱治療傷口。我一動(dòng)不動(dòng)地坐著，等待著痛苦消逝，欲望升起。我對(duì)絕地的復(fù)仇欲燃燒著我。是他們對(duì)我做了這些。我對(duì)他們的欲望使我來到這里。我使黑暗如同斗篷一樣包圍我。我使自己被憤怒所包圍。

Only then do I dress the wound and apply bacta.I feel myself begin to heal.

只有這時(shí)我才會(huì)包扎傷口并使用巴克塔箱。這時(shí)我才覺得自己真正開始痊愈。

As the night drags on,exhaustion from my battle with the pain that is not pain settles into my bones.I dress my wound again with bacta and bandages and stretch out on my sleep-couch.Despite my best efforts,my mind drifts.I remember back to the time I felt pain so searing I thought I would die from it.Pain so intense that I could not even remember my name.

夜色漸深，與痛苦作斗爭所帶來的的疲憊逐漸進(jìn)入我的骨子里。我用巴克塔箱和繃帶又包扎了一次傷口，然后在睡椅上伸展開四肢。盡管我盡了最大的努力，我的意識(shí)還是模糊了。我回想起我體驗(yàn)接近死亡的燒灼般的痛苦的那一天。那次的痛苦是如此劇烈，劇烈的我甚至連自己的姓名都忘了。

That was the day I became a Sith.

那是我成為西斯的那一天。

It is years ago.I am old enough to feel that I am already full grown and mature,but young enough not to know what that means.I do not know how old I am,for my Master never told me how long ago it was when he took me,or what my age is.Age is of no consequence to a Sith.We live long lives.We do not track our development in such a mundane way.

那是幾年前的事了。我已足夠年長以認(rèn)為自己已經(jīng)強(qiáng)壯成熟，卻又足夠年輕而不懂它意味著什么。我不知道自己多大，因?yàn)閹煾笍奈锤嬖V我自從他帶走我后過了多長時(shí)間，或是我的年齡。年齡對(duì)西斯不重要。我們?nèi)f古長青。我們不會(huì)用這么平凡的方式記錄自己的發(fā)展。

So it is not my age that tells my Master I am ready,but my abilities.I know I am strong and fast and I never break.My control of the darkness that fuels the Force is close to perfect.

是我的能力而不是年齡告訴師父我已準(zhǔn)備就緒。我知道自己強(qiáng)壯迅捷，絕不失敗。我對(duì)原力黑暗面的控制幾近完美。

I am happy when my Master tells me I am ready to take the last tests that will allow me to become a Sith Lord.I have already fulfilled two years of missions for my Master.I have pleased him.I am ready.

當(dāng)師父告訴我，我已準(zhǔn)備好接受成為一名西斯尊主的考驗(yàn)時(shí)，我很高興。兩年以來我一直在為師父做事。我取悅了他。我準(zhǔn)備好了。

For fourteen days,I take a series of physical tests.Lightsaber duels,endurance exercises,fasting.Some tests I take blindfolded or in a sensory-deprivation suit.It is the most grueling fourteen days I can imagine.By the time it ends,I am exhausted.

接下來的十四天中，我進(jìn)行了一系列體能測試。光劍決斗、耐力測試、空腹訓(xùn)練。有些測試需要蒙眼或穿上知覺封閉衣。這是我所能想象到的最累人的十四天。在它結(jié)束時(shí)，我已筋疲力盡。

And I find that the test has not yet begun.

然而我發(fā)現(xiàn)考驗(yàn)尚未開始。

"I am sending you to a planet in the Outer Rim,"my Master tells me."It is made up of three kinds of terrain: desert,swamp,and mountains.You will have at least three matches on each terrain.I have sent a fleet of assassin droids to attack you.Each are programmed with different strategies.Some will work together,some will work alone.They are all programmed to kill."

“我將把你送到外環(huán)星域的一個(gè)行星上，”師父對(duì)我說?！八扇N地形組成：沙漠、沼澤和高山。每種地形中至少有三場戰(zhàn)斗等著你。我已派去一隊(duì)暗殺機(jī)器人去襲擊你。每個(gè)機(jī)器人都有著不一樣的策略。有些會(huì)合作，有些會(huì)單獨(dú)行動(dòng)。它們都被編程為殺戮。”

That gets my attention.

這吸引了我的注意。

"That is correct,"Lord Sidious says quietly."I am prepared to lose what I most value.So must you be to become a Sith.You must be prepared to lose your own life in order to win."

“這就對(duì)了，”西迪厄斯大人輕聲說道?！拔乙褱?zhǔn)備好失去我最有價(jià)值的東西。所以你必須成為一個(gè)西斯。你必須準(zhǔn)備好用生命換來勝利。”

I nod."I understand,my Master."
我點(diǎn)頭?！拔颐靼?，師父?！?/span>

"You will have to survive for a month,"Lord Sidious adds."You will have only a survival pack."
“你必須在那里生存一個(gè)月，”西迪厄斯大人補(bǔ)充道?！澳阒荒軒б粋€(gè)生存包?！?br/>Despite my exhaustion,I am exhilarated,too.Did I ever imagine it would be easy to become a Sith Lord?The value of anything is measured by effort.I will prove to my Master that I am the best apprentice in the history of the Sith.I shall not only survive,I shall conquer.

盡管我很疲憊，我也很振奮。我有沒有想過成為一個(gè)西斯尊主是件容易事？成果是檢驗(yàn)價(jià)值的唯一標(biāo)準(zhǔn)。我將會(huì)向師父證明我是西斯歷史上最好的學(xué)徒。我不僅能活下來，還會(huì)獲得勝利。

I realize now how young I was.I couldn't have known what was ahead of me.
我意識(shí)到自己是多么年輕。我完全不知道自己即將面臨的是什么。

I land on the planet and begin my test.It is infinitely more difficult than my imagination has been able to grasp.The assassin droids are relentless.Again and again I am awakened by an attack.Again and again I fight,move camp,fight again.I am driven into the mountain snows and across the burning desert.I lose my survival pack in a battle and have to kill and forage for food.

我在行星上著陸，開始了我的考驗(yàn)。它的難度超出了我的想象。暗殺機(jī)器人是無情的。一次又一次，我被襲擊所喚醒。一次又一次，我戰(zhàn)斗，遷營，再次戰(zhàn)斗。我被推入白雪皚皚的高山，被逼進(jìn)炎熱的沙漠。我在一次戰(zhàn)斗中丟失了生存包，只好靠捕獵和采摘生存。

Ten days go by.Fifteen.Twenty.
十天過去了。十五天。二十天。

I grow thin and my strength begins to ebb.I have never felt such weakness,even during my fasts.And yet I have to go on.I have to fight,I have to find a place to rest,I have to fight again.I count off the days in my head.

我日漸消瘦，力量開始衰退。我從未有如此虛弱之感，即使是在空腹訓(xùn)練時(shí)。然而我得繼續(xù)。我必須戰(zhàn)斗，我必須找到安身之所，我必須再次戰(zhàn)斗。我在腦中計(jì)算著天數(shù)。

One battle with two assassin droids almost undoes me.I sustain a bad blaster wound to my thigh.I drag myself to a cave to hide.I have no bacta,no bandages.Yet I know I must recover before I fight again.

我差點(diǎn)在與兩個(gè)暗殺機(jī)器人的一次戰(zhàn)斗中喪命。我被一發(fā)爆能束擊中了大腿。我拖著自己的身子躲進(jìn)了一個(gè)山洞。我沒有巴克塔箱，沒有繃帶。但我知道我必須在下一次戰(zhàn)斗前恢復(fù)自己。

The wound festers.It is a searing,blinding pain.I am too weak to forage for food.The days blur.I no longer know how long I've been on the planet.Surely it has been more than a month.Has my Master forgotten about me?

傷口潰爛了。這是種灼熱炫目的疼痛。我太虛弱以至于無法尋找食物。日期逐漸模糊。我已經(jīng)不知道自己在這顆行星上呆了多長時(shí)間?？梢钥隙ǖ氖墙^對(duì)超過了一個(gè)月。難道師父把我忘在這里了？

I am close to hallucinating when Lord Sidious appears at the mouth of the cave.I am so glad to see him that my bones turn to water.I look at him hopefully.

當(dāng)師父出現(xiàn)在洞口時(shí)，我?guī)缀醍a(chǎn)生了幻覺?？吹剿侨绱肆钗腋吲d，我的骨頭都快變成一灘水了。我充滿希望地看著他。

"Now it is time for your final battle,"he says.
“現(xiàn)在是時(shí)候進(jìn)行你最后的戰(zhàn)斗了，”他說。

Another battle?I can't even walk.
又一場戰(zhàn)斗？我甚至連走路都不能了。

Yet his power over me is so strong that I rise on my watery legs.The cave walls shimmer in front of my eyes.My balance is off.I fumble for my lightsaber and activate it.

然而他施加于我的壓力如此之大，我只好用癱軟的腿支撐起身體。山洞的石壁在我眼前閃爍著。我?guī)缀蹙鸵埂Ｎ颐髦约旱墓鈩?，啟?dòng)了它。

"Where is the assassin droid,Master?"I ask.My voice emerges hoarsely from thick,swollen lips.I need water.I would kill for water.

“暗殺機(jī)器人在哪里，師父？”我問。我沙啞的語句從粗重腫脹的嘴唇后流出。

My Master powers up his lightsaber."I will be your opponent."
師父開啟了光劍?！澳愕膶?duì)手是我?！?/span>

I take a step toward him.I know this is my final test.I summon up the dark side of the Force.I take all my pain and anger and form it into a tightly packed ball.I set that ball aflame in my chest.

我向他邁出一步。我知道這是我的最終考驗(yàn)。我喚起原力的黑暗面。我將所有的痛苦和憤怒集中為緊密的一團(tuán)，將它集中在我的胸口。

I feel a trickle of strength enter me.That encourages me.I use that strength to stoke the fire inside me.
我感到力量一絲絲淌入我的身體。這鼓舞了我。我用這股力量燃燒起身體中的火焰。

"You cannot be as pathetic as you look,"my Master says.He raises his lightsaber and attacks.

“你簡直比看起來還要可憐，”師父說。他舉起光劍，發(fā)動(dòng)攻擊。

I parry the blow and reverse,come at him from the opposite side.But he is already gone by the time I am able to make my attack.The lunge throws off my balance.I weave,the cave walls blurring.He laughs.

我格擋，反擊，向著他的另一側(cè)撲去。但他在我有余力發(fā)動(dòng)反擊時(shí)已經(jīng)閃開了。我一個(gè)趔趄失去了平衡。我蹣跚著，洞穴的石壁變得模糊不清。他大笑。

"I take it back,"he says."You are that pathetic."

“我收回前言，”他說。“你正如看起來一樣可憐?！?/span>

He tells me I am weak,not worthy of being a Sith Lord.He tells me he has misjudged me.I attempt to attack him.The ball of anger inside me turns to howling rage.It is painfully obvious that he is playing with me.He can kill me in a heartbeat.Yet something in me will not accept this,even from my Master.My life force won't allow it.I struggle on,even in the face of his laughter.

他說我太弱了，不值得成為一個(gè)西斯尊主。他說他看錯(cuò)我了。我試圖攻擊他。我感到怒火中燒。很明顯他在玩弄我。他能不費(fèi)吹灰之力就干掉我。但我不能忍受這樣的嘲諷，即使是來自我的師父，我的生命原力也不允許。我在他的嘲笑中斗爭著。

He tells me that he has expected my failure.He saw my weaknesses long ago.Secretly,over the long years,he has trained another apprentice.I have not been alone.

他告訴我他早已預(yù)料到我的失敗。他早就看清了我的弱小。許多年前他就秘密地訓(xùn)練了另一個(gè)學(xué)徒。我并不是獨(dú)一無二的。

I point out,gasping,that more than one apprentice is against the rules of the Sith.

我氣喘吁吁地辯解著，說徒弟多于一個(gè)違反了西斯的規(guī)矩。

"You are right,"he says."A spark of intelligence at last."

“沒錯(cuò)，”他說?！敖K于變聰明點(diǎn)了?！?/span>

The second apprentice is on the other side of the planet.He conquered all the assassin droids sent after him.He did not sustain more than a flesh wound.He is healthy and strong.

第二個(gè)學(xué)徒就在這顆星球的另一端。他消滅了所有派來的暗殺機(jī)器人。他只受了一次傷。他健壯且強(qiáng)大。

"Unlike the pathetic weakling I see before me,"my Master says.

“不像我眼前這個(gè)可憐的弱者，”我的師父說。

I realize dully what this means.My opponents had not really been the droids.My opponent had been someone I had never seen.My enemy has been chosen by my Master.He will become a Sith Lord.He will receive the honor I was due.He will reap the glory I had punished my body and disciplined my mind in order to receive.

我遲鈍地理解了這番話的含義。我真正的對(duì)手不是機(jī)器人。我的對(duì)手是個(gè)我從未見過的人。我的敵人被師父選中了。他將會(huì)成為一個(gè)西斯尊主。他將收獲本應(yīng)屬于我的榮耀。他將獲得我費(fèi)盡千辛萬苦身心俱疲才能獲得的光榮。

A slow rage begins to burn through me.It is a terrible anger,no less fierce because it starts as a kernel of disbelief and then builds.I have never felt anything like it.I know it can consume me.

憤怒慢慢地開始在我心中燃燒。這是種可怕的憤怒，它以懷疑為中心逐漸輻射開來。我從未有過這樣的感覺。我知道它能將我燃燒殆盡。