1

Like a colossal mirror, shiny, dazzling, almost phony (please forgive me for using it, since, I mean, you should come to look at it yourself, and I bet none of you would believe it is real, right in front of you, in the physical world), incredible that it is a man-made lake boasted by a newly-established resort, responding to “building a world of paradise”—the absurd scenario just came out from our “greatest” Mayor, who enjoys nothing but three things of all time—babbling, bullshitting, daydreaming.

And Beth, come on, this bimbo, who just keeping indulging in the stupid ad on telle, in the radio and on the newspapers (surely I don’t know how much amount the press took from those frauds), should booked the ticket for us three without even thinking twice. “You are absolutely duped, greenhom.”

“You idiot! You don’t even know how awesome the place is. You see, it’s …” Oh man, I forgot what she said, but her demeanor that she poked at the photoshoped pictures on the flyer and waved her other hand like antenna as if I had been blind really made me sick, always.

“All right, all right, you win. I’ll drive, and you take Jackson. Don’t lose him again.” I said, simultaneously clenching my teeth when I thought of “that” experience.

2

“And that is how I come, not why I come.” Holding a beer in my hand, I looked out through the window in this president suite, which I would rather call it a lake-view suite, talking to myself. Even when I am peering at this luxury sofa, I still failed to associate this room with “president”—all the leather, wood, metal, woollen carpet, sheet, pillow are stitched or seared with the image of frog. Even I had known that the Mayor was of French ancestry＊, the “avant-garde” design was still a conundrum for me. But seeing Jackson enjoyed the decoration so much, I soon set the conundrum aside.

“Actually, those frogs are quite lovely.” What Beth just said really surprised me. As I know, the most terrible things, save the insomnia that she’s been suffering for years, is the green creature with two convexity of flashlights and incessant croaks. (maybe for her it is more terrible than the day she croaks＊) “What kind of prestidigitators are the damn frogs that eliminates the inner demon of my wife?”

“Absolutely their adorability conquers every haze inside me.” Beth just girgled.

“Daddy, look, the frogs are so cute. They are alive. They’re hopping.”

“Dontito. They are just pictures, not cartoons.”

“But I…” Somehow, what Jackson said did arouse my interest, even Beth thought it was just the fantasy of a six-year-old boy after watching some cartoons, incidentally, the cartoons are going backwards these years. Nowadays cartoons are not for children, but moron. No wonder Beth would take it as a joke. “Take a good rest for the spectacular scenery tomorrow, especially you, Beth, take a good sleep as long as you can.”

＊French was offensively called by British as “frog-eater” for eating the legs of frogs.

＊The word “croak” means the sound that frogs make and that humans make when they are dying.

3

Unfortunately, it was equivocally an awful night for rest. I had been haunted by a nightmare the whole night—a lengthy, reddish, slimy, stinky, fleshy stuff dragged me into the abysmal darkness. The chamber was wet, scorching, oppressive, like the monsoon season in South-East Asia.

Soon, a green silhouette just crashed into my retina and sprinted on my nerve, as I clearly saw that hanged by the voluptuous but no longer flesh body that Beth boasts was a green head of two convex headlights and a slimy lengthy tougue! Croak!

The debut of such a play in my brain theater forced me to end this rediculous performance with a squeak that men could never let out in the absence of overdosed adrenalin. “Beth, Beth, my life is nearly to an end. I, I…” It must be hilarious to see a tough guy’s whimper.

“Shh, I feel you, honey, I feel you.” Interrupted by her geniality and caresses, I soon lost consiousness again, without even noticing the fetid saliva on my body and face. Croak? Croak! Oh man, I was just too sleepy to check out what was beside my bed which I was sure, was not Beth at all.

4

I don’t know what my parents was doing.＊

They just didn’t shut up. For the whole night they just gave out some creepy groan like I hear ago near the lake. I didn’t want to come here at all. It is just my mother which signed up for all of us three.

In fact, at the night before we came here, a woman just told me not to go. She said some confused words like I am still so young like the sunrise and, like what, let me think, err…, I will be influenced, I will lose my humanity and sanity (my teacher just told me about these two words, spelling them is so tough)I don’t know much about what she referred to. And, seems like I know her. I just nor remember her name.

I cannot fall asleep today. They say my mother has, the name is just at the tip of my tougue, insom-what, but I think now I should be the patient. I just want them to take me home, I cannot stand anymore. The hopping frogs really scared me and mom just ignore it. Why adults always turn a deaf ear to children’s words?

Wake up, daddy, you just make me sleepless. Too loud. Just when I pushed onto his body, I feeled a chill—not my daddy! And my hand can not take away from it. Slime’s coming! And my back, my hair, my face, feel like the swine Thomas＊applys glue to my body. Miss Friendy just telled us about monsoon season. (Miss Friendy, can you see it? I can spell the word correctly.)

Monsoon season, mom. I tried to tell her, but always the croaks on my ear. And it is more complex now. Do they have language like us?

Outside is a little light. I just don’t want to sleep on this bed.

＊This chapter was written by their six-year-old son, Jackson, so don’t be surprised if there are any grammar mistakes.

＊The guy who keeps bullying Jackson at school.

5

The sky has been clear, with azure curtain and mashmellow as the ornaments, combining with the energy of Apollo with which I could almost feel the quantum photon as our main character today. No more sheet of murky gray up high in the sky! Not another single day would be more suitable for hanging out! And this is not bombast, I promise all of you who are reading the chapter.

It seemed Jackson enjoyed outdoor fun more than we two, who just sprinted out with a kind of nearly missionary zeal and we had no choice but to follow him to the lake, out of breath, suspecting in my mind if this brat had a conbustion engine but heart.

However, upon reaching the lake, my mind quickly became a blank sheet, and some other artist painted on it with the ultimate pigment and the perfect craft—the reflection of the big sky connected with the sapphire dome, like a magician taking the horizon away from such a spectacular scene. The lakeside condos are of sophisticated design, the amalgamation of tradition and avant-garde, like the masterpiece made by Gaudi＊.

Such a l'heure du plaisir＊came to an end when we walked towards the lake and took a look at the limpid-but-not-limpid water. The water was clear, but none of us could see what was under it, just like a mirror…a mirror with three frog-heads inside! I felt faint and the palpitation of my heart as if my consiousness had been instantly swallowed by the mercury-sque stuff!

“That can’t be true!” screamed Beth. Currently, that woman was in hysteria, just like a big frog painted by jalapeno sauce croaking. Soon, we got our audience who took pictures of such a tragicomedy of boisterousness and irony. There were no longer bonhomie and compassion surrounding but tease, sarcasm and indifference as if we had been the frog family in the acrylic cube exhibited in the zoo. Their countenances of arrogance and condescend-ness started to distort, together with their acrimonious words and presumptuous laughters and turned into a group of frogs croaking at us, tougue in the cheek. Around me, also, were the crying and screaming from Beth and Jackson like the Bgm almost being killed by these “frogs”’ snapping and laughting, just for adding annoyance to my despair which accelerated my process of collapsing. And my mind and sense stalled now.

＊A Spanish architect.

＊French, which means “happy hours”.

6

I couldn’t remember what I’ve done, what we’ve done now. It just hurt in my ears and within my mind. Jackson and my husband disappeared. Booking such a resort with horrible surreal power and some extraterrstrial creatures was almost tempting fate. I shouldn’t have been faith in those fxxking flyers in our mailbox. I didn’t even check the F＊ ID of the sender. It’s a pretty long name and I failed to re-check it due to my laziness. It was dark, without stars, moonlight, or even neon lights, like a whole another world when Edison＊ hadn’t been born. The sound of burp started again, but more clearly than I had heard in our room.

It’s here. I said to myself and turned around towards the lake—the tranquility remained, but resonated with the belch—something was beneath the water! I had no time to think about what was wrong with me but to jump and dive into the lake with the manipulation of ,what I usually call it, intermittent abnormality. Surrounded by darkness and freezing bitterness, with the evanescence of a beam of light, I saw a big frog crounching on a golden terrace—its cheek puffing up, foams blocking me from peering its face carefully, drinking the water of the lake and then spitting it out. What a big frog!

F off, mortal! I am Sakyamuni! Without seeing anyone talking, I just heard the voice, like the stereo in my living room playing audios in my mind. Prior to my surprise, it suddenly occurred to me that the sender of the flyer called himself Sakyamuni, a name from Sanskrit, literarily means Buddha. So you are the Buddha of frog?

I am Sakyamuni! I am Sakyamuni! I am Sakyamuni! …These words blew my mind and almost made me collapsed. It was not a resort, it was just an abyss! I shouted it out in despair, but it turned out that I could not give a word. Later, the Sakyamuni just went near until it gobbled up all the foams and me myself…

“Shit, Beth, how would I have such a nightmare?!” I jumped out from my bed, but saw nothing—not the furniture, nor Beth and Jackson—It was just darkness.

“There was no moonlight tonight.”

“So disappointed. I’ve been expecting to see the spectacular scene of the brilliant moon into the picturesque lake!”

“Look, mum, sis, it is moving!”

“Kidding me? Ha ha. It’s just the image. It is frog-themed room.”

＊F equals a “four letter words”.

＊Thomas Edison

Epilogue

“How can you achieve such an Hercules’ Task in such a short time, Monsieur le Maire?”

“Efforts. We have used some strategies, but in the end, efforts beats everything.” Standing by the lake, accompanied by exuberance of frog croaking, the Mayor told it on the camera and sneakily slithered into the roomy and luxury backseat of his limousine with the help of the security, lifted up the electronic sun visors and tore out the human skin mask sticking on his face, and took out a bust of a buddha, looking into its convex eyes, stroking it with fingers and webs＊, with some incantations spilled through his lips.

＊The film growing between the fingers of some animals like frog.

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譯文

你看，大家都是青蛙了

1

這閃閃發(fā)光令人炫目的湖泊活像一枚巨大的鏡子，在我看來甚至有些虛幻，請原諒我使用這個詞，我的意思是，你們都應(yīng)該來親眼看看這個湖，我敢打賭，你們所有人都不會相信這樣的湖泊會出現(xiàn)在現(xiàn)實中，就在你們的面前。你不會相信這其實是人造湖泊，它位于一座新建的度假村中。新建這座度假村也是為了響應(yīng)我們“最偉大的”市長大人提出的“人間天堂”這一荒唐遠景。這市長沒別的愛好，平生就愛干三件事，說廢話，說胡話，說夢話。

但是，我的天，貝絲那個傻女人居然猶豫都沒有猶豫一下就給我們一家三口訂了票。她就是一個整天沉溺在各種腦殘廣告里的人，電視上的，收音機里的，還有報紙上的，我真是不知道報社收了這些騙子多少錢?！澳氵@個洋蔥頭，絕對受騙了?！?/p>

“你傻??！你都不知道這個地方有多好。你看……”天吶又來了。我已經(jīng)忘記她說了什么，我只記得她指著廣告?zhèn)鲉紊系木迗D，手像個天線一樣揮來揮去，當(dāng)我瞎了一樣，這種舉止令我十分厭惡。

“行了行了，都聽你的。我開車，你帶好小杰，別再弄丟他。”每每想起那次經(jīng)歷，我不自覺地咬緊牙關(guān)。

2

“是我老婆把我拖過來的，不是我想來的?！蔽沂帜闷【疲高^總統(tǒng)套房的窗戶欣賞著窗外的景色，自言自語著。與其說是總統(tǒng)套房，我更愿意稱之為湖景房，因為即便是我緊盯著那豪華的沙發(fā)，我也沒有半點把它和“總統(tǒng)”扯上關(guān)系的意思—所及之處，皮質(zhì)，金屬，木飾，羊絨地毯，枕頭和被子都飾上了青蛙圖案。即便我知道我們的市長有法國血統(tǒng)＊，我還是對這樣前衛(wèi)的設(shè)計摸不著頭腦。但是，管他呢，只要小杰喜歡就行了。

“其實吧，這些小青蛙還是挺可愛的?！必惤z的話真的震驚到了我。就我所知，除了困擾她多年的失眠癥之外，她最害怕的就是這種長了兩個像外凸的手電筒一樣的綠色玩意兒，還有就是它們發(fā)出的呱呱叫聲。可能對于她來說，青蛙的叫聲比她自己哼哼唧唧快要死的時候還要可怕＊?！八赃@些鳥青蛙到底施了什么法咒戰(zhàn)勝了我老婆多年的心魔？”

“那當(dāng)然是因為它們它們太可愛了啊?？吹剿鼈?，那還有什么心魔?！必惤z咯咯地笑道。

“老爸快看啊，那些青蛙好可愛啊?？磪?，它們在動，它們在跳?！?/p>

“傻孩子＊，這些是圖案，又不是動畫片?！?/p>

“但是，我真的……”不知怎的，這回，雖然貝絲一直認為這只是一個六歲小孩看了動畫片之后產(chǎn)生的幻想，但小杰的話還是讓我在意了起來。順便提一句，這幾年動畫片的水準每況愈下，現(xiàn)在的動畫片根本是給傻子看的，也難怪貝絲會這么想了?！昂煤眯菹?，明天還有美妙的風(fēng)景在等著我們呢。尤其是你啊，貝絲，還是盡可能多睡一會兒吧。”

＊英國人由于厭惡法國人吃青蛙腿的行為會將法國人蔑稱為“青蛙佬”。

＊雙關(guān)語，詳見“croak”釋義。

＊原文為西班牙語。

3

很遺憾吶，那天卻是個不眠之夜。我整夜被噩夢所縈繞。在夢中，我被一條長條形的肉狀淺紅色東西拖入了無盡的幽暗世界，那玩意兒真是惡心，黏糊糊的，臭烘烘的，拖我到的這個鬼地方也是又濕又熱，活像東南亞的雨季。

很快，一道熟悉的身影映入我的眼簾，但卻是強大沖擊，直沖腦門—那屬于貝絲的豐腴肉體之上長著的赫然是一只綠色的，長著兩只凸出的大圓眼睛和吐著黏糊舌頭的青蛙頭！我甚至聽到了那個東西在叫。

第一次遇到這種景象的我著實被嚇得不輕，以男人極難發(fā)出的（除非像我一樣腎上腺素急劇分泌）尖叫聲結(jié)束了這一切。“貝絲，貝絲，我，我……”堂堂八尺硬漢此刻居然說話都帶著哭腔。

“什么也不用說了，寶貝，我懂你，我都知道?！痹谪惤z溫柔的囈語和輕軟的撫摸中，我又沉沉睡去。這一睡，我居然都沒有注意到我身上掛著散發(fā)腥臭味的動物唾液，更沒有精力來關(guān)注我身邊這個早已不是我的貝絲的東西究竟是什么。

4

我真的不知到我爸媽在高什么。＊

他們真的好吵。晚上還發(fā)出奇怪的呼嚕聲，就像我之前在湖邊上聽到的那種奇奇怪怪的聲音。我其實一點也不像來的，都是我老媽。

其實那天晚上，就有一個女人告訴了我一些話。她說的一些話我啊其實都聽烏隆，什么“我還很年輕像早上的日出一樣”還有什么“我會被影響”的什么來著，會失去人性和理智（這兩個詞老師剛剛教過我，好難寫啊。）我不知道她要說申么，我只覺得好像認識她，但是不知道她名字。

我今天是真的睡不著。他們都說我媽媽有那個申么毛病，叫申么鄭啦，也記不得了，但是我覺得我更有這個毛病了。我只想知道我們申么時候回家，我已經(jīng)待不住了。那些會動的青蛙已經(jīng)嚇死我了，媽咪居然都不信我的。為申么大人都不聽小孩子的話呢？

醒醒啊，老爸，你吵得我睡不著啦。我推推老爸，才發(fā)現(xiàn)手被黏住了，而且冰冰涼—這不是平常的老爸！是史萊姆來了。我的后背，頭發(fā)，臉也都很難受，就像被那個討厭鬼托馬斯＊涂滿了膠水一樣。弗蘭迪老師剛給我們講過季風(fēng)氣候。（老師你看，我記得這個詞欸）

媽，季風(fēng)氣候來了。我叫她，但除了奇怪的叫聲外沒一點聲音。聲音好像還變復(fù)雜了。我一直在想它們是不是也和人一樣說各種國的話。

外面有點天亮了，我終于可以不用再張著眼睛忍了。趕緊起床吧。

＊本章敘述者為他們的六歲兒子小杰，因此可能會有一些錯誤，懇請讀者原諒。

＊ 托馬斯經(jīng)常欺負小杰。

5

天空湛藍湛藍的，像蔚藍色的幕布作著棉花糖般朵朵白云的陪襯，白云們又圍簇著那光芒萬丈的太陽神，好像把他當(dāng)成了今天的主角一樣。天空已經(jīng)再也不是一片灰蒙，沒有哪天比今天更適合外出游玩的了。我向讀者保證，這真的毫不夸張。

看起來小杰比我們倆更期待外出。他徑直沖出了房間，含著滿腔的熱情沖向湖邊。我倆沒有辦法，只能氣喘吁吁地跟在后面，心里不由得懷疑小杰胸腔里不會是裝著一臺發(fā)動機吧。

然而，當(dāng)我們到達湖邊時，我的大腦瞬間一片空白，任由一支充滿藝術(shù)想象力的畫筆以精湛的技藝將最好的顏料鋪畫在我腦中—寶藍色的天空倒映在湖水里，水天一色，遠處的地平線就像是被魔法師抽走了一般。湖邊的公寓也是匠心獨具，那美妙的設(shè)計感融合了傳統(tǒng)與前衛(wèi)，讓我想起了高迪＊的作品。

然而，這樣的美好時光在我們走近湖泊時戛然而止，那清澈的湖水清澈又不清澈，明明很干凈卻完全望不見底，特別像涂了汞的鏡子……等等，這面鏡子可不得了，里面還倒映著三只青蛙頭呢！瞬間，我大腦一陣眩暈，好像意識只在一瞬間就被這個湖抽干了似的。

“不，這不可能！”貝絲大叫起來。現(xiàn)在，這個女人已然是精神失常了，活像一只涂上了墨西哥辣椒醬呱呱亂叫的青蛙頭。很快，我們就被圍觀了。圍觀群眾紛紛掏出手機記錄下了這場喧鬧又諷刺意味十足的悲喜鬧劇。我們聽不到任何溫柔的撫慰，只有揶揄，挖苦和冷漠，搞得好像我們是動物園里關(guān)在亞克力籠子里供人觀賞的青蛙一家一樣。他們的面孔上寫滿了“目中無人”和“趾高氣昂”這幾個字。霎時，我感覺他們的面容似乎在扭曲，他們尖酸的話語和放肆的笑容也都聽不見了，取而代之的是一聲聲的蛙叫，和一條條掛在面頰上的細長舌頭。耳畔響起的還不止這些，還有小杰和貝絲的哭喊，但是它們幾乎都被蛙聲掩蓋，聽起來就像是背景音樂一樣。而且，這樣的背景音樂只能讓我在絕望中又生出了一分惱怒，變成了壓垮駱駝的最后一根稻草。我就是那只駱駝。我感覺我的思緒和感官全部宕機了。

＊西班牙著名建筑設(shè)計師。

6

我已經(jīng)想不起來我們干了些什么，只覺得耳朵和腦袋特別疼。小杰和我的丈夫都不見了。定這種度假村真是玩命，里面充斥著駭人的超自然力量。我真的不能相信這些突然出現(xiàn)在我信箱里的廣告。我他喵的甚至都沒有驗證寄件人的身份，因為太懶了所以就懶得記下那么一大串名字，現(xiàn)在想來真是腸子都悔青了。今天外面居然是漆黑一片，沒有星星，沒有月光，更沒有路燈。咕嚕咕嚕像打嗝一樣的聲音又響起了，但是比我之前在房間里聽到的更清楚了。

就在那里。我自言自語道。我終于找到了來源，聲音在水下產(chǎn)生，湖面依舊平靜，但是回蕩著咕嚕咕嚕的聲音，水下有東西！我甚至都不知道我腦子里到底在想些什么，一股莫名的力量就驅(qū)使著我跳入湖中，我經(jīng)常稱之為“間歇性癲狂”。水下一片漆黑，冰冷刺骨，唯有的微光束也是轉(zhuǎn)瞬即逝，在微光消失的位置，我看到了一只巨大的青蛙蹲坐在金鑾寶座上。它腮幫子鼓起，吞噬著湖中的水，又把它們往外吐出，氣泡擋住了它的臉。好大的青蛙！我感嘆道。

愚蠢的人類。我是釋迦牟尼！釋迦牟尼！我沒有看見任何人或動物在動嘴，但是我就是能聽見這句話，而且效果特別像在腦子里開了我家的立體聲音響一樣。就在此時，我突然想起，那個寄信人好像就是署名為“釋迦牟尼”的。這就是梵語里面“佛祖”的意思。它難道是青蛙中的佛祖？

我是釋迦牟尼！我是釋迦牟尼！你聽到了沒？！……這樣的聲音不斷轟炸我的大腦，幾乎讓我崩潰。這里根本不是度假村，簡直是人間煉獄！我試圖發(fā)出絕望的吶喊，但是無濟于事—此時我根本發(fā)不出任何聲音。很快，那只青蛙離我越來越近，直到它和著湖水把我吞噬。

“哦天殺的，貝絲，我怎么會做這種噩夢？”我騰地從床上跳起，但是什么都看不到，眼前只是一片漆黑。

“今晚沒有月光吶。”

“真令人失望。我還很期待今晚能看到壯觀景象哩。你們想想，如畫一般的湖泊當(dāng)中倒映一輪明月，嘖嘖嘖……”

“老媽，老姐，青蛙在動！”

“你又想騙人了哇！這只是青蛙主題的圖案而已。”

終章

“您是怎么在這么短時間完成這么一項大工程的，市長先生？”

“當(dāng)然是依靠努力。我們確實用了一些招數(shù)，但是到最后，你就會發(fā)現(xiàn)努力才是必殺技?！笔虚L站在這座湖前，對著鏡頭說。這座湖現(xiàn)在煥發(fā)出了別樣的生機與活力，聽取蛙聲一片。說罷，在保鏢的簇擁下，市長如蛇一般鉆到了自己的禮賓車里，坐在了那寬敞舒適奢華的后排座上，然后，他升起電動遮陽簾，撕下臉上的人皮面具，拿出一尊半身“佛像”，直視著它那凸出的眼球，用他那長著蹼的手一邊摩挲著它，一邊念起了咒語。

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