TED演講者：Bryce Dallas Howard / 布萊絲·達(dá)拉斯·霍華德

演講標(biāo)題：How to preserve your private life in the age of social media / 在社交媒體時(shí)代如何保護(hù)隱私

內(nèi)容概要：Growing up in the public eye, multi-hyphenate creator Bryce Dallas Howard experienced the familiar pressure to share her life with the world on social media. But with her mother's steadfast guidance, Howard learned to set personal boundaries and savor the beauty of private moments. In this personal talk, she draws on three generations of family wisdom to remind us that "a private life makes a public life worth living."

我們知道，從小在公眾眼中長(zhǎng)大，多才多藝的布萊絲·達(dá)拉斯·霍華德面臨著在社交媒體上曝光私生活的壓力。但是，在她母親的堅(jiān)定指導(dǎo)下，布萊絲學(xué)會(huì)了如何劃定邊界和品味獨(dú)處時(shí)光。在這段演講中，她總結(jié)了自己全家三代人的智慧，提醒我們“私生活讓拋頭露面更有價(jià)值”。

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【1】In 2016, I filmed an episode of "Black Mirror"

2016 年, 我拍了一集《黑鏡》,

【2】called "Nosedive."

叫做《急轉(zhuǎn)直下》。

【3】It's about a woman named Lacie who lives in a futuristic world where everyone rates your social interactions.

它講述了一位生活在 未來(lái)世界中的女性蕾西的故事, 在這個(gè)世界中, 大家會(huì)對(duì)你的社交行為評(píng)分。

【4】And for anyone who hasn't seen it, a little spoiler.

如果有人沒(méi)看過(guò), 我在這里劇透一下。

【5】I basically have a nervous breakdown, trying really hard to get liked.

在劇中,我基本精神崩潰, 想盡辦法去得到喜愛(ài)。

【6】For many, the episode felt a little too familiar.

許多人都對(duì) 這個(gè)情節(jié)太熟悉不過(guò)了。

【7】Until recently, only a small fraction of the human population lived their lives publicly.

直到最近,也只有一小部分人 生活在公眾的眼中。

【8】And while we haven't entered the "Black Mirror" world yet, we've entered a new era.

雖然我們還沒(méi)有 進(jìn)入《黑鏡》里的世界, 但我們已經(jīng)進(jìn)入了一個(gè)新時(shí)代。

【9】Everyone has access to a global audience.

每個(gè)人都可以受到全球的關(guān)注。

【10】We all live in public.

我們的生活完全公開(kāi)。

【11】Some more willingly than others.

一些人更愿意這樣,其他人則拒絕。

【12】There's pressure to share more of ourselves than we want.

我們也面臨壓力, 要更多但卻違心地分享自己的生活。

【13】We often feel we have no other choice.

我們常常覺(jué)得自己別無(wú)選擇。

【14】To be relevant. To fit in. To get ahead.

要合群,要融入環(huán)境, 要出人頭地。

【15】To be trusted and liked. Accepted and understood.

要受到信任和喜愛(ài)。 要被人接受和理解。

【16】This new compulsion toward self-exposure is possibly the biggest social experiment in history.

這種自我曝光的新沖動(dòng) 可能是有史以來(lái)最大的社會(huì)實(shí)驗(yàn)。

【17】We're making life-altering decisions about our personal boundaries with no guidance and no precedent.

關(guān)于個(gè)人界限, 我們正做出改變一生的決定, 但卻無(wú)法獲得指導(dǎo), 也沒(méi)有先例可循。

【18】Fortunately, there is a blueprint.

幸運(yùn)的是,我們有一個(gè)行動(dòng)方案。

【19】Anyone who's lived in the public eye as an athlete, a politician or an entertainer has navigated a version of this.

生活在公眾視線中的任何人, 例如運(yùn)動(dòng)員、政治家或藝人, 都可以遵循這個(gè)版本的行動(dòng)方案。

【20】My dad has been a public figure since he was five years old, as an actor, a child actor, and later as a director.

在五歲時(shí), 我爸爸就成為了公眾人物, 他是一名小童星, 后來(lái)成為了導(dǎo)演。

【21】And I've been an actor since my early twenties.

在 20 歲出頭的時(shí)候, 我成為了演員。

【22】In fact, my family has been in the business of entertainment for three generations, contending with how to handle putting ourselves out there for the last 70 years.

實(shí)際上,我家三代人 都一直從事演藝事業(yè), 過(guò)去 70 年來(lái) 都努力在那個(gè)圈子里出人頭地。

【23】My mom, Cheryl, never wanted to be in the public eye.

我媽媽謝莉爾從不想引人注目。

【24】She just happened to love a man who is.

她只是碰巧愛(ài)上了一位公眾人物。

【25】My mom met my dad, Ron, when they were 16.

我媽媽遇到我爸朗時(shí), 他們 16 歲。

【26】And by that point she had flown solo in an airplane, joined an all-boys gun club, gotten in tons of fist fights and helped her single dad raise her younger sisters.

在那之前,她獨(dú)自一人, 生活在男人圈里, 經(jīng)常打架斗毆, 并幫助單親父親養(yǎng)育自己的妹妹。

【27】This is to say, my mom was a passionate, busy young person who initially ignored the attention of the famous boy in her high school.

也就是說(shuō),我媽媽當(dāng)時(shí) 是一個(gè)易怒、忙碌的年輕人, 最初,雖然受到高中一個(gè) 出名男孩的關(guān)注,但她并未理睬。

【28】It was the early 70s, and my dad was known for playing Opie in the "Andy Griffith Show,"

20 世紀(jì) 70 年代早期, 我爸因?yàn)樵凇栋驳?格里菲斯秀》 中扮演奧佩而出名,

【29】and he'd soon film a pilot for a new show called "Happy Days."

不久,他就出現(xiàn)在 新節(jié)目《歡樂(lè)時(shí)光》中。

【30】Much of this was lost on my mom.

這其中的許多節(jié)目 我媽媽都沒(méi)有看過(guò)。

【31】The only thing she watched on TV was "Star Trek."

她只在電視上看過(guò)《星際迷航》。

【32】It's true.

確實(shí)是這樣。

【33】After they finally joined forces, after he actually proposed three times, and had kids, my mom transformed into a full-on warrior woman, ready to protect.

在他們終于結(jié)合, 實(shí)際上,他求婚過(guò)三次, 并有了孩子之后, 我媽媽完成變成了一個(gè)女漢子, 隨時(shí)準(zhǔn)備去保護(hù)孩子。

【34】But it wasn't until I was given a movie script at preschool as a way to get it to my dad ...

但是,直到 我在上小學(xué)前拿到了電影劇本, 進(jìn)入我爸爸的圈子時(shí)...

【35】that my mom realized his visibility was extending to the entire family, and that she would need to prepare us for something she herself had never experienced.

我媽媽才意識(shí)到, 爸爸的名氣已經(jīng)影響到整個(gè)家庭, 她需要為我們做好準(zhǔn)備, 去應(yīng)對(duì)她自己從未經(jīng)歷的事情:

【36】Growing up in the public eye.

在公眾眼中長(zhǎng)大。

【37】And this entailed some extreme parenting tactics.

這需要一些極端的養(yǎng)育方法。

【38】First. No coddling, like ever.

首先,從不溺愛(ài),從來(lái)沒(méi)有。

【39】As a kid, I was terrified of snakes, so my mom got me a pet snake.

作為孩子,我很怕蛇。 于是,媽媽給我弄了條寵物蛇。

【40】When I blanked at my first piano recital and ran offstage crying, my mom insisted I stay and support my peers.

第一次鋼琴表演時(shí), 我腦中一片空白,哭著跑下了臺(tái), 但媽媽堅(jiān)持要我留下, 為同伴鼓勁。

【41】Years later, when my son grimaced at a chipmunk carcass, our cat had left in the driveway, Cheryl made him clean up the remains.

多年后,我兒子對(duì)著 我家的貓丟在車(chē)道上的 花栗鼠尸體做鬼臉時(shí), 謝里爾讓他去清理老鼠尸體。

【42】My mom wanted to toughen us up so we'd have more courage and less fear when dealing with uncomfortable situations.

我媽媽想要我們強(qiáng)大起來(lái), 以便我們有更大的勇氣 去面對(duì)棘手的情況, 而不會(huì)感到害怕。

【43】So that meant zero coddling.

那也就意味著從不會(huì)溺愛(ài)孩子。

【44】Put your comfort away, she'd preach.

放棄舒適,她總是這樣說(shuō)。

【45】Any challenge that arose was an opportunity to find your sea legs.

出現(xiàn)的任何挑戰(zhàn) 都是你學(xué)習(xí)本領(lǐng)的機(jī)會(huì)。

【46】Next up, confidence comes from character, not our looks.

其次,自信源自品質(zhì), 而不是長(zhǎng)相。

【47】Cheryl was a giant buzzkill.

謝莉爾隨時(shí)會(huì)潑人冷水。

【48】When she noticed me glancing in the mirror as a kid, she decided to nip that in the bud immediately by covering up all the mirrors in the house.

小時(shí)候時(shí), 她注意到我瞥了一眼鏡子, 于是她決定遮住家里的所有鏡子, 立即扼殺我的臭美之心。

【49】A loving compliment was, "You have wonderful character,"

動(dòng)人的贊美是:“你品質(zhì)優(yōu)秀”,

【50】not "You're beautiful."

而不是“你很美”。

【51】Oh, and character was built by doing chores.

哦,品質(zhì)源自于做家務(wù)。

【52】When I wasn't mucking out the goat barn, I was shearing sheep, changing tires, scrubbing toilets, volunteering, shoveling snow.

我不是在給羊圈除糞, 就是在剪羊毛、換輪胎、 刷馬桶、做志愿者、鏟雪。

【53】Cheryl believed that hard work, particularly in service of others, breeds confidence, a trait we need more and more of when exposing ourselves to any kind of public attention.

謝莉爾認(rèn)為,辛苦勞動(dòng), 特別是服務(wù)他人, 會(huì)培養(yǎng)自信, 當(dāng)我們的私生活 越來(lái)越受到公眾關(guān)注時(shí), 我們會(huì)需要這種特質(zhì)。

【54】But perhaps the most important lesson was: a private life makes a public life worth living.

但是,可能最重要的教訓(xùn)是: 私生活讓拋頭露面更有價(jià)值。

【55】Cheryl saw that while fame came with many blessings, there was an impact and a potential cost to living your life in public.

謝莉爾發(fā)現(xiàn), 雖然成名會(huì)帶來(lái)許多好處, 但受到公眾關(guān)注也會(huì)造成影響, 并可能需要付出代價(jià)。

【56】And so more than anything, she, like my grandparents before her, emphasized the value of privacy.

因此,她像我的祖父母一樣, 都十分注重保護(hù)隱私。

【57】Because cultivating a private life is precious.

因?yàn)楠?dú)處時(shí)光非常寶貴。

【58】It's sacred.

這是件神圣的事情。

【59】Its value is inherent in what you don't share.

它的價(jià)值根植于 你不會(huì)分享的事情,

【60】What you withhold.

你保留的情感,

【61】And for whom.

以及你保護(hù)的對(duì)象。

【62】The world is now one big small town.

現(xiàn)在,世界就像一個(gè)巨大的小鎮(zhèn)。

【63】But within that virtual town square, there are tiers of relationships, degrees of intimacy, and everyone deserves a different amount of you, a different side.

但是,在虛擬的鎮(zhèn)廣場(chǎng)內(nèi), 會(huì)有一層層的關(guān)系, 各種親密程度, 你與大家的親密程度不同, 關(guān)系不同。

【64】Now, where those boundaries lie is up to you.

現(xiàn)在,如何劃分這種邊界, 需要你自己來(lái)決定。

【65】But in order to make those decisions, we must all be our own Cheryl, our own protectors.

但是,要做出那些決定, 我們必須借鑒謝莉爾的做法, 做自己隱私的保護(hù)者。

【66】Because it's tempting to think that the more I share, the more ways you have to connect with me.

因?yàn)?我們很容易會(huì)想到, 我分享得越多, 大家與我建立聯(lián)系的方式就越多。

【67】But there's a specialness in knowing that whatever I share with my husband or my kids or my best friend is just for them and no one else.

不過(guò),特殊的地方在于, 我應(yīng)該明白, 我與老公、孩子 或好朋友分享的事情, 僅限于與他們分享, 而不包括任何其他人。

【68】Without that inner circle, we're left with shallowness and a void.

如果沒(méi)有那個(gè)核心圈子, 我們就會(huì)感到膚淺和空虛。

【69】We're known, but never truly known, even to ourselves.

我們雖然是名人,但從未真正 為人所知,甚至不了解自己。

【70】Living in public asks us to be brave and bold, but preserving a private life empowers us to take those chances.

作為公眾人物, 我們需要勇敢無(wú)畏, 不過(guò),保護(hù)隱私 給了我們那樣的機(jī)會(huì)。

【71】So when my 15-year-old son started a YouTube channel and my 10-year-old daughter asked to join TikTok,

因此,當(dāng)我 15 歲的兒子 開(kāi)辦 YouTube 頻道, 10 歲的女兒受邀加入 TikTok 時(shí),

【72】I asked myself, "What would Cheryl do?"

我問(wèn)自己: “謝莉爾會(huì)怎么做呢？”

【73】As much as I want to protect my kids, I know encouraging them to opt out is not the answer.

我想盡可能地保護(hù)孩子們, 我知道,鼓勵(lì)他們退出 并不是解決辦法。

【74】So I don't want my kids in the digital fray until they know who they are.

我不希望孩子們?cè)谡J(rèn)清自己之前 陷入數(shù)字爭(zhēng)吵。

【75】But you develop your sense of self by participating in the world.

但是,你只有參與社會(huì)生活, 才能培養(yǎng)自我意識(shí)。

【76】So I try to help them discover themselves through these technologies, not despite them.

因此,我嘗試通過(guò)這些技術(shù) 來(lái)幫助他們發(fā)現(xiàn)自我, 而不是逃避。

【77】And I give myself that same protection and motherly advice by honoring two main principles.

我也給自己提供同樣的保護(hù) 和慈母般的忠告, 方法就是遵循以下兩個(gè)主要原則。

【78】The two day delay.

推遲兩天。

【79】So whatever I'm experiencing, I try to wait 48 hours before posting and sharing because that way I can be present in private with the people I love before calculating how I'm going to publicly position it.

因此,無(wú)論遇到什么事情, 在公布和分享之前, 我會(huì)試著等待 48 小時(shí), 因?yàn)槟菢拥脑? 我就可以先與我愛(ài)的人呆在一起, 思考如何公開(kāi)做出說(shuō)明。

【80】And post with purpose.

帶著目的去發(fā)布信息。

【81】Before I share, I ask myself: Why? What's the purpose?

在分享之前,我會(huì)問(wèn)自己: 為什么要分享,目的是什么？

【82】And most importantly, how does it serve the people I love?

最重要的是, 它對(duì)我愛(ài)的人有什么影響？

【83】The dangers and opportunities of living a life in public existed, honestly, way longer before any of this.

受到公眾關(guān)注, 其中的危險(xiǎn)和機(jī)遇并存, 老實(shí)說(shuō),比以前的任何 危險(xiǎn)和機(jī)遇都要大。

【84】But it's important to know what my family knew then and knows now.

但是,我必須了解 家人過(guò)去和現(xiàn)在的想法。

【85】That your true value is measured by the richness of your private life.

你真正的價(jià)值, 由個(gè)人生活的充實(shí)程度來(lái)衡量。

【86】The piece of you that only a select few, or perhaps only you, has access to.

你的內(nèi)在,只有少數(shù)人, 或者可能只有你自己才可以觸碰。

【87】Because the legacy we create in private is as powerful and lasting as any public accolade.

因?yàn)槲覀兯较聞?chuàng)造的遺產(chǎn), 和任何公眾贊譽(yù)一樣豐富而持久。

【88】Perhaps even more so.

甚至可能更加持久。

【89】Thank you so much.

非常感謝！