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IN THE MIDST of his conquest of the United States, Tim had, in November 2011, made a hectic detour to New Zealand, Australia and Asia. In less than a month, he had squeezed in twenty-three gigs in Auckland, Sydney, Perth, Melbourne, Adelaide, Brisbane, Beijing, Hong Kong, Singapore, Delhi, Pune and Mumbai, among others.

在征服美國的過程中，Tim在2011年11月匆忙地離開美國前往新西蘭、澳大利亞和亞洲。在不到一個月的時間里，他在奧克蘭、悉尼、珀斯、墨爾本、阿德萊德、布里斯班、北京、香港、新加坡、德里、浦那和孟買等地出演了23場音樂會。

In Bangkok, he had almost bottomed out, refusing to leave his hotel room in the morning. The tour manager had to call an annoyed promoter in Manila and postpone the gig in the Philippines for twenty-four hours.

在曼谷，他的狀態(tài)幾乎到了谷底，他早上拒絕離開酒店房間。巡演經(jīng)理不得不給馬尼拉的一個惱怒的贊助商打電話，將在菲律賓的演出推遲了24小時。

On New Year’s Eve, he had played in Niagara Falls, Canada. Before they celebrated the clock turning twelve, he’d run off stage, been driven to Buffalo, taken a plane to New Jersey, and rushed to a car that drove him to a helicopter that in turn flew him to Manhattan. The car that took him the final stretch to the club had swerved up on to the sidewalk to get him there in time. But the New Year’s show in New York had been a triumph, a sing-along to fireworks that never seemed to end.

除夕夜，他在加拿大尼亞加拉瀑布演出。在慶祝新年到來前，他跑下舞臺，被送到布法羅，乘坐飛機前往新澤西，然后趕到一輛車上，將他送到直升機，最終飛往曼哈頓。最后一程將他送到俱樂部的車子甚至開上了人行道，以確保他及時到達(dá)。但紐約的新年演出是一場巨大的勝利，煙火不斷，全場合唱。

Now Tim reclined on the bed at the back of the bus as it was rolling towards the next American city.

現(xiàn)在Tim斜靠在巴士后面的床上，巴士正朝著下一個美國城市行駛。

In the back there was a separate room that had become his and Emily Goldberg’s refuge during the long journeys. The student from Washington, DC, had become his girlfriend in the autumn, and every time Emily got a few days off from school, she jumped on the tour. On top of the bedspread, which was adorned with a cartoon lion, Tim had built a blanket fort that he and Emily could snuggle in.

在車后面有一間獨立的房間，已經(jīng)成為Tim和Emily Goldberg在漫長旅途中的避難所。這位來自華盛頓特區(qū)的學(xué)生在秋天成為了他的女友，每當(dāng)Emily有幾天放假，她就會加入巡演。在用卡通獅子裝飾的床單上，Tim搭建了一個毯子堡，讓他和Emily可以依偎在一起。

He was in an email discussion with his dad. With the money that had come in, Klas Bergling had helped his son buy an unfinished loft on Karlav?gen, just a block away from the apartment where Tim grew up. The space had been gutted and was starting to be renovated, and father and son were sending pictures of lumber and appliances to each other. Tim had fallen in love with a black parquet floor and thought that the cupboard doors would match up well with the stone on the kitchen counter.

他用電子郵件與父親討論。隨著資金的到來，Klas Bergling幫助兒子在卡拉維根購買了一幢未完成的閣樓，距離Tim長大的公寓只有一個街區(qū)之隔。房子內(nèi)部已經(jīng)被拆除并開始進(jìn)行翻新，父親和兒子相互發(fā)送著木材和電器的照片。Tim愛上了黑色鑲嵌地板，并認(rèn)為櫥柜門與廚房臺面上的石頭很搭配。

It was a relief to talk with Klas about something other than work. Having his father as a business partner was not entirely uncomplicated. When Klas was stressed, he could become neurotic, writing long emails about payroll taxes and accounting and the importance of keeping track of expenses versus income, and Tim thought one thing was more boring than the other.

能夠和Klas聊些非工作的事情，讓人感到寬慰。Klas的父親是他的商業(yè)伙伴，這使得事情并不完全簡單。當(dāng)Klas感到壓力時，他會變得神經(jīng)質(zhì)，寫長長的電子郵件談?wù)摴べY稅、會計和跟蹤支出與收入的重要性，而Tim覺得這些事情一個比一個更無聊。

‘You. are. a. drama. queen,’ Tim would write sourly. ‘It’s obvious that I need to get more involved in the companies, but I hardly understand anything at all, so it’s difficult even after you have explained things.’

“你真是個戲精，”Tim寫道，語氣酸溜溜的，“顯然我需要更多地參與公司的事務(wù)，但我?guī)缀跻粺o所知，即使你已經(jīng)解釋了很多次，也很難理解?！?/span>

The questions about which showerhead looked best were more enjoyable. And would they have frosted glass in the bathroom? It was something that the aesthete Tim liked to think about. DJ Mag had just named him the world’s sixth best DJ; he thought he deserved an apartment where he could chill out when he got home.

關(guān)于哪種淋浴花灑看起來最好的問題更令人愉快。浴室里會有霧面玻璃嗎？這是審美家Tim喜歡考慮的事情。DJ Mag剛剛將他評為世界百大DJ第六；他認(rèn)為自己應(yīng)該有一間公寓，在家時可以放松。

If he ever came home. Right now, it didn’t seem like he would.

如果他可以回家的話。現(xiàn)在看起來好像不會。

Since the New Year’s gig in New York, it had gone on relentlessly: Detroit, Minneapolis, Milwaukee, Pittsburgh, Hanover, St Louis, Kansas City, Boulder, Reno, Tucson and Phoenix on the same day, Austin, San Antonio, El Paso, Houston, Dallas . . .

自從在紐約的新年演出之后，演出一直持續(xù)不斷：底特律、明尼阿波利斯、密爾沃基、匹茲堡、漢諾威、圣路易斯、堪薩斯城、博爾德、里諾、圖森和鳳凰城在同一天，奧斯汀、圣安東尼奧、埃爾帕索、休斯頓、達(dá)拉斯……

The tour was to last throughout January 2012 and was called House for Hunger. That, of course, was Arash’s concept. In a commercial on YouTube, the manager explained that in twenty-six days Avicii would perform on twenty-five stages across the United States, and that they themselves would not keep a single penny of the proceeds. Instead, they had started a collaboration with the organisation Feeding America, which ran soup kitchens and shelters for the homeless.

這次巡演計劃在2012年1月貫穿始末，名為House for Hunger。當(dāng)然，這是Arash提出的概念。在YouTube上的一則商業(yè)廣告中，這位經(jīng)理解釋說，在26天的時間里，Avicii將在美國的25個舞臺上表演，并且他們自己不會保留一分錢的收益。他們與公益組織Feeding America合作，該組織為無家可歸者提供食物救濟站和收容所。

The charity would soon be combined with other initiatives. The clothing company Ralph Lauren had reached out and wanted to use one of Tim’s songs in an online campaign. Arash had immediately understood the value of piggybacking off one of the world’s largest fashion brands and put a lot of effort into convincing the company that the collaboration should be bigger than an online campaign. House music was a growing youth movement – a DJ would mean perfect exposure for a coveted customer demographic.

慈善事業(yè)很快就會與其他計劃合并。服裝公司 Ralph Lauren已經(jīng)聯(lián)系過來，希望在其在線活動中使用Tim的一首歌曲。Arash立即意識到了與全球最大的時尚品牌搭便車的價值，他花費了很多心思說服公司，讓這次合作不僅僅是在線活動那么簡單。浩室音樂是一場不斷壯大的青年運動，一位DJ意味著Ralph Lauren將完美地暴露在一個令人垂涎的客戶群體中。

Arash worked to form a partnership with Denim & Supply, Ralph Lauren’s newly released line that consisted of bohemian jeans and pre-washed tunics. Together, they would soon design a pin that was at the same time an MP3 player full of house music. ‘Wear it loud – feed the world’ was the message on the promotional button, which could be bought at Macy’s. The small print in the ad stated that the purchase did not affect how much money was distributed to charity, but by wearing the button the customer showed their concern for the hungry.

Arash努力與Ralph Lauren旗下的新品牌Denim & Supply建立合作伙伴關(guān)系，該品牌以波西米亞風(fēng)格的牛仔褲和預(yù)洗長衫為特征。他們很快共同設(shè)計了一款徽章，同時也是一個裝滿浩室音樂的MP3播放器?！按魃纤?，高聲播放——哺育世界”是宣傳徽章上的標(biāo)語，這款徽章可以在Macy's購買。廣告中的小字說明購買不會影響慈善機構(gòu)的分配金額，但是穿戴徽章的顧客表達(dá)了他們對饑餓問題的關(guān)注。

Philanthropy and business in sweet harmony.

慈善和商業(yè)的美妙融合。

‘Hey guys, this is Avicii and my radio is NRJ. Hey guys, this is Avicii on NRJ. This is Avicii and all my new hits are first on NRJ.’

“嘿，大家好，我是Avicii，我的電臺是NRJ。大家好，我是在NRJ的Avicii。這里是Avicii，所有我的新歌都首播在NRJ?！?/span>

Tim would also do stuff like this during the trips, recording jingles for different radio stations on a microphone. Tour manager Malik Adunni was on hand with all kinds of junk – Tim would make a birthday greeting for Ti?sto’s podcast, a thank-you speech for the Swedish awards ceremony P3 Guld and even more email interviews.

在巡演期間，Tim也會做這樣的事情，用麥克風(fēng)為不同的電臺錄制廣告。巡演經(jīng)理Malik Adunni隨時提供各種雜亂的事項 – Tim 會為Ti?sto的播客制作生日祝福，為瑞典獎項頒獎典禮P3 Guld制作感謝演講，甚至還有更多的電子郵件采訪。

‘Hey guys, this is Avicii and you’re listening to Shut Up and Dance with Tara McDonald on FG Radio! My favourite Swedish city is Stockholm. My favourite Swedish food? I’m gonna go with Swedish meatballs.’

“嗨，大家好，我是 Avicii，你正在收聽FG電臺的Shut Up and Dance節(jié)目，與Tara McDonald一起。我最喜歡的瑞典城市是斯德哥爾摩。我最喜歡的瑞典食物？我會選擇瑞典肉丸?！?/span>

Tim didn’t say anything to those he was travelling with, but he had started to worry. The panic attack in Boston a couple of months earlier somehow lingered in his body. He increasingly felt an unpleasant restlessness creeping in, as if he had drunk eight cans of Red Bull and become on edge without actually being more alert. Tired and hyper at the same time.

Tim沒有對同行的人說什么，但他開始感到擔(dān)憂。幾個月前在波士頓的驚恐發(fā)作一直縈繞在他的身體里。煩躁不安的感覺越來越強烈，他仿佛喝了八罐紅牛，變得很緊張但實際上并沒有更加警覺。同時又疲憊又興奮。

A couple of times he had started crying without understanding why. The tears had just come.

有幾次他哭了起來，卻不知道為什么。眼淚只是流了出來。

He had lived in constant disarray for a little more than two years. Over 600 gigs, always ready to keep moving, never time to stop or see anything. The caps packed, new club promoters to toast with, new fans to take selfies with, interviews to do. But Tim pushed forward, swallowed his tears, and thought that this state of emergency would soon be over.

他已經(jīng)在連續(xù)不斷的混亂中生活了兩年多。超過600場演出，他隨時準(zhǔn)備好繼續(xù)前進(jìn)，從來沒有時間停下來或回看任何東西。收拾好行李，與新的俱樂部推廣人員共飲，與新的粉絲自拍，做采訪。但是Tim堅持向前，咽下眼淚，認(rèn)為這種緊急狀態(tài)很快就會結(jié)束。

‘It feels like I’m going to faint every single day now,’ he wrote to Arash Pournouri. ‘And not just today and this tour but from about the first time I mentioned that I felt worn-out . . . pretty regularly but I push it back down and chose to not bring it up because there’s nothing I can do about it.’

“現(xiàn)在每天我都感覺要暈倒了，”他寫給Arash Pournouri，“不僅僅是今天和這次巡演，而是從我第一次提到我感到疲憊不堪開始……這種感覺很頻繁，但我會強迫自己壓下去，選擇不提起它，因為我無能為力?！?/span>

In Rochester, a university city on the border with Canada, Tim had forgotten to close the door to his hotel room. While he was taking a nap, someone sneaked in and stole his suitcase. In it was his computer, and even just that was a catastrophe. On it were sketches of new songs and sets prepared in Rekordbox.

在羅切斯特，一個位于加拿大邊境的大學(xué)城，Tim忘記關(guān)上他的酒店房間門。當(dāng)他在睡覺時，有人悄悄溜進(jìn)房間偷走了他的行李箱，里面裝著他的電腦。僅僅這件事就是一場災(zāi)難。電腦里存有新歌的草稿和為Rekordbox準(zhǔn)備的歌曲列表。

But the worst part for Tim was that the red-yellow capsules were gone. Soon they would be travelling to Puerto Rico, and he had no idea how they would manage to get hold of more acne medication.

但對Tim來說最糟糕的是紅黃色的膠囊已經(jīng)用完了。很快他們就要去波多黎各巡演了，他不知道他們該如何獲得更多治療痤瘡的藥物。

The thief turned out to be a fan who sent an email saying that he would gladly return the computer if he got to take a picture with his idol. The production manager Felix Alfonso pretended to be Tim when he answered, but after a lot of fussing back and forth, the idiot stopped responding and disappeared into thin air. What the hell was wrong with people?

小偷是一位粉絲，他發(fā)了一封郵件說如果能與偶像合影，他很愿意歸還電腦。制作經(jīng)理Felix Alfonso假裝是Tim回復(fù)了郵件，但是在來回折騰了很久后，這個傻瓜停止了回復(fù)，消失得無影無蹤。人們到底是怎么了？

When they landed in Orlando the next day, a group of teenagers were waiting in the arrivals hall. They ran up and surrounded Tim, screaming and gawking, the worst one was a guy who had a whole bunch of pictures with him and was not satisfied until Tim had signed his autograph on every single photo.

第二天他們到達(dá)奧蘭多時，一群青少年在出境大廳等待著。他們跑上來圍住了Tim，尖叫著并瞪大了眼睛，最糟糕的是一個帶著一大堆照片的家伙，直到Tim在每張照片上簽名后，才滿意地離開了。

Felix pushed himself in among the fans and told them to back off. When the guy with the pictures started yelling at him, Felix shoved him in the chest so that he stumbled backwards. It was not nicely done, but somewhere he had to draw the line, didn’t he? Did they not realise that Tim felt like shit?

Felix擠進(jìn)了粉絲中間，讓他們后退。當(dāng)那個拿著照片的家伙開始沖他大喊大叫時，F(xiàn)elix用胸部猛地撞了他一下，讓他向后搖晃。雖然這樣做不太好，但他必須在某個地方劃定界限，不是嗎？他們沒有意識到Tim感覺很糟糕嗎？

They went on to Puerto Rico and when Tim then returned to the United States, he was finally able to get his hands on acne medication again.

他們前往波多黎各，當(dāng)Tim回到美國時，他終于能夠再次得到治療痤瘡的藥物。

He thought it was noticeable that he hadn’t taken any for a few days and to be on the safe side, he immediately ingested three days’ worth of doses.

他覺得自己已經(jīng)好幾天沒有服用藥物了。為了保險起見，他立刻服下了三天份量的藥物。

Emily Goldberg had just returned from a lecture on Renaissance artists at school in Washington, DC, when Tim called. He was lying in a hotel room in Soho, New York, complaining of stomach ache. It felt as if the organs inside him had tied themselves into a knot and sent out a pain that radiated into his back. Did Emily know which American painkillers were the best? They were about to go on the road to Rhode Island, but if Tim was to play tonight’s gig, he would probably need to stuff himself with some really strong tablets.

在華盛頓特區(qū)上學(xué)的Emily Goldberg剛剛聽完一場文藝復(fù)興藝術(shù)家講座，Tim就打來了電話。他躺在紐約蘇荷區(qū)的一間旅館房間里，抱怨肚子疼。他感覺自己的器官像是扭成了一個結(jié)，疼痛向他的背部輻射。Emily知道哪種美國止痛藥最好嗎？他們即將前往羅德島演出，但如果Tim今晚要演出，他可能需要吃些非常強效的藥片。

Emily heard how Tim’s pain worsened with each passing minute. It just hurt all the time now, he said, particularly high up in his stomach.

Emily聽到Tim的疼痛隨著時間的流逝而加劇。他說他一直感到疼痛，尤其是在胃的上部。

She asked him to hand over the phone to someone in the crew.

她讓他把手機交給團隊里的某個人。

‘We need to take Tim to the hospital right now,’ Emily said. ‘He is literally screaming into the phone!’

“我們現(xiàn)在就得把Tim送到醫(yī)院，”Emily說，“他簡直在電話里痛苦地尖叫！”

‘He has a show tonight,’ said the man on the other end.

“他今晚有演出?！彪娫捘穷^的男人說。

‘I don’t care! This is my boyfriend!’

“我不在乎！他是我的男朋友！”

Emily heard Tim grab the phone and put it on speaker, so that he could also hear.

Emily聽到Tim搶回手機并打開了揚聲器，以便他也能聽到。

‘Tim, just lie down,’ she said. ‘We’re gonna get through this. Just breathe calmly.’

“Tim，躺下來，”她說，“我們會度過這個難關(guān)的。只需要深呼吸，保持鎮(zhèn)靜?！?/span>

After a while Tim no longer responded, he just moaned and whimpered. Emily was so angry that she hissed into the phone: ‘Call the fucking ambulance. Now.’

過了一會兒，Tim不再回應(yīng)，他只是呻吟和哀嚎。Emily非常生氣，她對著電話大聲喊道：“快點叫救護車，現(xiàn)在就叫！”

Malik Adunni had been elsewhere when Tim was rushed to the hospital. When the tour manager arrived at Presbyterian, the hospital on the south end of Manhattan, Tim had been checked in and put in a single room, 404–2.

當(dāng)Tim被緊急送往曼哈頓南部的長老會醫(yī)院時，Malik Adunni正在別處。當(dāng)巡演經(jīng)理到達(dá)醫(yī)院時，Tim已經(jīng)入住了404-2號單人病房。

Malik looked at his twenty-two-year-old employer as he slept in the hospital bed. He had his beanie on, and was hooked up to a drip and a bunch of other wires and devices, that Malik didn’t really know.

Malik看著他22歲的老板躺在病床上睡覺。他戴著針織帽，掛著點滴和一堆其他他不太了解的線和裝置。

The final shows in the House for Hunger tour would not happen, that much was clear.

顯然，House for Hunger巡演的最后幾場演出要取消了。

How did they end up here, anyway? How did the situation get so out of hand? As soon as Tim woke up, he grimaced in pain and was given a liquid morphine drug that dissolved the stomach cramps. He could not eat solid food; to keep his stomach going he instead got thin flakes of ice.

他們到底是怎么到這里來的？局面怎么變得如此失控？Tim醒來后，立刻感到疼痛難忍，服用了一種液態(tài)嗎啡藥物以緩解胃部痙攣。他無法進(jìn)食固體食物，只能吃碎冰來維持胃部功能。

Emily Goldberg had come to New York and paced around the corridors and answered anxious emails from Tim’s mother. Several times a day, Tim’s father called, worried and restless, and wondered if it wouldn’t be better if Tim flew home to get care in Sweden.

Emily Goldberg到了紐約，在走廊上踱步，并回復(fù)Tim的母親焦慮的電子郵件。Tim的父親每天都會打電話，他擔(dān)心不安，想知道Tim回瑞典接受治療是否更好。

The guys on Styrmansgatan thought they should at least keep the audience updated, so Tim posted a picture on Twitter where the drip tubes could be seen hanging from his left wrist.

斯特曼斯加坦的伙計們認(rèn)為他們至少應(yīng)該讓觀眾知道最新情況，于是Tim在推特上發(fā)布了一張照片，可以看到輸液管掛在他的左手腕上。

‘Where I’ve spent the last 3 days,’ he wrote and was showered with love from the fans, both there and on Facebook.

“這是我過去三天待的地方，”他寫道，得到了現(xiàn)場和Facebook上粉絲們的愛。

Get better Tim! Take care, health comes first :)

保重，Tim！健康第一，祝你早日康復(fù):)

? ?Hope to see you soon in Tel Aviv.

希望很快在特拉維夫見到你。

Come back to Pennsylvania when you’re feeling better!

感覺好些了就回賓夕法尼亞州吧！

Take care of yourself. Your fans can wait ;)

照顧好自己，粉絲們可以等你的;)

We love you feel better Tim.

我們愛你，希望你感覺好些，Tim。

The pain came and went. As long as Tim got painkillers he felt okay, but once they wore off it immediately hit his stomach again.

疼痛來了又去。只要Tim吃了止痛藥，他會感覺好一些，但一旦止痛藥失效，他的胃立刻又受到了打擊。

The remarkable thing was that Tim didn’t seem particularly depressed. Instead, he asked Felix and Emily to go out and buy a new computer for him. The upcoming shows in Israel, Austria and Italy had to be cancelled, the inbox got a little quieter, he could in good conscience try out a new game from Blizzard.

非同一般的是，Tim似乎并沒有特別沮喪。相反，他讓Felix和Emily為他去買一臺新電腦。以色列、奧地利和意大利的即將到來的演出不得不取消，收件箱變得安靜，他可以放心地嘗試暴雪公司的新游戲。

After almost a week, Emily turned on the old TV that hung on the wall in the hospital room. On Sunday night the Super Bowl was broadcast, the final game of the American National Football League. Every year the game was one of the world’s biggest sporting events, and now over a hundred million Americans were sitting down to watch the New York Giants face the New England Patriots.

將近一周后，Emily打開了醫(yī)院病房墻上掛著的老電視。周日晚上是美國國家橄欖球聯(lián)盟的最終比賽，超級碗比賽的直播開始了。每年的這場比賽是世界上最大的體育賽事之一，現(xiàn)在有超過一億美國人坐下來觀看紐約巨人隊對陣新英格蘭愛國者隊。

The gang at the hospital was interested in something else.

醫(yī)院里的這些人對另一件事很感興趣。

During the first commercial break, Tim hushed the nurse who was in on her rounds, and everyone turned towards the small screen. First came a couple of commercials for cars and one for soft drinks. Then the ad they were waiting for.

在第一個商業(yè)廣告間歇期間，Tim讓正在巡視的護士安靜，所有人都轉(zhuǎn)向了小屏幕。首先播出了幾個汽車廣告和一個軟飲料廣告。然后是他們等待的廣告。

Well-dressed office workers stood in airy rooms at a quiet corporate party. The camera panned towards the skyscraper’s dark windows, and there, behind his decks, was a smiling Avicii playing ‘Levels’.

穿著得體的白領(lǐng)們站在安靜的企業(yè)聚會的寬敞房間里。攝像機轉(zhuǎn)向摩天大樓的黑色窗戶，在那里，Avicii微笑著站在他的唱片機后面演奏著Levels。

Tim had filmed the commercial for Budweiser’s new low-calorie beer a month earlier. It had taken a whole day, he had hated every minute of the shoot, but now it was over. A bigger penetration of the market was hardly possible – after all, a third of the country’s population was tuned in to watch this.

Tim一個月前為百威新推出的低卡啤酒拍攝了廣告。整整一天的時間，他討厭每一分鐘的拍攝，但現(xiàn)在一切都結(jié)束了。市場滲透率已經(jīng)達(dá)到了極限——畢竟，全國三分之一的人口都在收看這個廣告。

Afterwards, Emily crept into Tim’s narrow bed. They fell asleep tightly wrapped around each other, before the painkillers wore off and Tim woke up in horrible pain.

之后，Emily爬上了Tim狹窄的床。他們緊緊地抱在一起睡著了，直到止痛藥失效，Tim因難以忍受的疼痛醒來。

譯者注：結(jié)尾提到的廣告視頻就是這個https://www.bilibili.com/video/BV16M4y1a7qf/