Marriage1?Customs

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1.?BETROTHAL2.

The parents of a boy begin early to plan for his marriage.The lad's future wife may be chosen while he is still an infant ;though, if the parents are poor, betrothal and marriage may?perforce be left till he grows up; and not a few are well over?twenty before marriage takes place. Many men, owing to?poverty, never marry at all: but it is a common saying that,though there are unmarried men, there are no unmarried?women3.

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Some parents, in their anxiety to be sure that they are?taking the right step in approaching a certain family regarding?a girl,first have recourse to divination4?in one or other of its?many forms. Should the result be reassuring, a friend,either?male or female, is invited5?to act as go-between6. Bearing a?present, the go-between proceeds to the girl's parents7, and?gently sounds them on the subject ; offering. if they are agreeable, to arrange the match8?for them. If the girl's parents are?of a cautions turn of mind, they may also resort to divination.to make sure that the match would be a desirable one. Should?they decide to negotiate, the girl's horoscope9?is produced,and

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1．婚配、接親、安家、完配??2.聘定、說(shuō)親、定媳婦??3.有剩男沒(méi)剩女??4.求預(yù)兆、占吉兇??5.請(qǐng)媒??6.媒人、紅葉、大賓、冰人、月老??7.女家??

8.作伐A phrase borrowed from the following?couplet in the Book of Poetry:-

伐柯如何?匪斧不克.

娶妻如何?匪媒不得.

9.八字、生庚

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the go-between returns with it to the boy's parents1, who place it?beneath the incense pot2?for three days; at the end of which time, if nothing untoward has happened in the family as an?omen of evil, they proceed to ascertain whether or not tile children's horoscopes are in accord. A fortune-teller3?is consulted?and the horoscopes are compared4. The result may prove?inimical to the wife5, or to the husband6; in which case it is?declared unlucky7. Or the horoscopes may be utterly irreconcilable8, showing that a union would prove the ruin of both families; and in face of such omens no further steps could betaken. But should the result prove perfectly auspicious9,or even moderately lucky10, the boy's mother, in company?with the go-between, pays a visit to the girl's mother in?order to see the girl1l. After the usual formalities the girl is?brought out to pay her respects12?to the visitor. after which?she?again retires. Should the boy's mother be satisfied13, she shows?her mind by producing a few hundred cash14, wrapped in red?paper, and presenting it, through the go-between,to the girl's?mother. She is then invited to stay to dinner, after which she?leaves for home, a small?return present15?having been given?through the go-between. Should the boy's?mother not be?satisfied with the girl's appearance, she refrains from giving the?cash present, and refuses to stay to dinner. A lucky day?is?selected16?for the formal exchange of horoscopes17.On the?chosen day, the parents of the girl provide a feast. The boy's?parents do not attend; but they carefully select a lucky individual18?from among their?scholar friends, who, as their representative, proceeds with the go-between to the feast. A procession?is formed19: in front march men bearing umbrellas and banners20; next come men bearing presents in present trays21,a?band of eight musicians22, an ornamental?shrine23?in which,

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1.男家 ?2.香爐 ?3.算八字的 ?4.合八字、合婚 ?5.剋妻 ?6.剋夫 ?7.不吉、不乾淨(jìng) ?8.犯八敗 ?9.合得上婚 ?10.合得中婚 ?11.看人 ?12.作揖 ?13.看得上 ?14.拜錢(qián) ?15.回針線、回盤(pán) ?16.擇吉日、擇好日子 ?17.換紅庚、換庚書(shū) ?18.選吉利人 ?19.發(fā)擔(dān) ?20.旗傘 ?21.抬盒 ?22.八個(gè)吹手 ?23.亭子

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under a jade ornament1, is deposited the horoscope card2. The?go-between and the friend of the bridegroom bring up the rear.?Sometimes the go-between bears?to the girl's parents betrothal?money3, which may or may not have been bargained for,amounting to from ￡3. to ￡6. Arrived at the house, the scholarly?friend,in conjunction with a friend of the girl's family, proceed to write out,on the gilded red betrothal cards5, the horoscopes of the young couple. The go-between presents the boy's?horoscope to the?girl's parents, and after the indispensable feast?bears back the girl's horoscope with presents to the boy's?parents. The young people are now legally betrothed6,and?neither party can lightly withdraw from the engagement.

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These horoscopes are carefully preserved,and are?equivalent?to the marriage papers of western lands.

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Should?the two families live near each other, the girl, after?betrothal, is confined to the house7; and in any case, at?the?age of twelve, the girl ceases to have her head shaved8,and?remains secluded from the public gaze.

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2. ANNOUNCING THE WEDDING DAY9.

When the lad has arrived?at marriageable age--from sixteen?to twenty--his parents, by means of divination from the horoscopes10,choose a lucky day and hour for the wedding ceremony;and, after informal consultation with the girl's parents regarding?the suitability of the day chosen, it is formally reported.

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A few months before the date. the go-between, bearing?presents of clothing and material for the bride, in addition?to the indispensable eatables, calls upon the girl's parents and?breaks the news to them. The relatives of the bride, knowing?beforehand of the go-between's coming, assemble at the house?with presents for the bride11; and the proceedings end with the?usual feast.

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Five or six days before the wedding, the guests are invited12.The red invitation cards13?are enclosed in red envelopes, and?state the day of the weeding feast.

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1.玉如意??2.庚書(shū)??3.聘金、下聘、納采、菓盤(pán)??4.填庚書(shū)??5.庚書(shū)、鸞鳳箋??6.聘定的、說(shuō)倒了??7.藏倒、躲倒??8.留頭??9.報(bào)期、遞年月??10.算八字??11.添箱??12.請(qǐng)客、下帖??13.帖子

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3. THE FLOWERY NIGHT1.

On the evening before the wedding the guests arrive, bringing presents2?of eatables3, fire-crackers4, scroils5, tinsel flowers6, and a few feet of red silk or calico. One or two?sashes?of the red silk?are bound round the bridegroom's shoulders?and waist,and his dress hat adorned with a few of the tinsel?flowers6;the remainder are used to decorate7?the guest-hall,and the bridal-chamber. Guests from a distance stay overnight?and pass the hours in feasting and merriment8; and not?unfrequently in gambling?and wine-drinking.

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4. OPENING THE FACE9.

Three days before the wedding10,the bride11?has the hair?round her forehead pulled out by the roots, and the downy?hair12?on the face and neck carefully shaved13?with a twisted?silk thread14. For the next three days the bride must weep,more or less; and remain in her room, taking little food; thus?manifesting her sorrow at leaving her parents. The night before?the wedding she is too overcome to sleep.

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5. THE TROUSSEAU15.

The trousseau, which is provided by the bride's parents,includes clothes, bedding, bed curtains, and furniture for the?women's apartments; and, if her people are well-to-do, one or two?slave-girls16?may be sent with her to wait upon her. These,when they have grown up, may, if well favoured, become concubines17, but, if otherwise, they are given as wives to men servants and retainers.

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6. BRINGING HOME THE BRIDE18.

On the wedding morning, the go-between sets forth to bring?home the bride. He is proceeded by a procession of gay

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1.花夜??2.送禮 ?3.水禮 ?4.火炮 ?5.對(duì)聯(lián)、對(duì)子 ?6.金花 ?7.簪花掛紅 ?8.鬧花夜 ?9.開(kāi)臉 ?10.出閣、出嫁 ?11.新媳婦 ?12.苦毛子、寒毛子So called?because poor people are?said to have more of it.??13.絞臉、扯臉 ?14.絞線 ?15.嫁奩、妝奩、配奩 ?16.丫頭、丫鬟、使女、陪嫁的 ?17、小婆子、如夫人、側(cè)室、偏房、小妾 ?18.接親

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banners, umbrellas1, present trays2, musicians3, and the?flowery chair4; the latter adorned on all sides with figures?representing some lucky play5, or, as very?frequently, the?‘‘Eight Immortals”6. The chair is borne by four men.

The band, consisting either of flutes7?or chanters8, with?cymbals9, drums10, and gongs11, plays bridal airs with great?diligence, from the time of setting forth till the wedding is accomplished fact. The go-between, and two or three friends?of the bridegroom12, bearing cards13?from the boy's parents to?the girl's parents, bring up the rear.

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(The whole of the above paraphernalia14,with all the?trappings, and embroidery, necessary throughout the ceremonies,may be hired from a chair shop15.)

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The flowery chair having arrived at the bride's home, the?bride is brought forth into the hall, and her hair is combed16?at?least in pretence. She then takes a few chopsticks and, facing?the front door, throws them over her shoulder17, in token that?she will no longer eat her parents' rice, A dress,called the Dew?Robe18, is then pit on, and a red veil19?of embroidered silk?placed over her head, which completely hides her face, thus?dressed she kneels and worships the gods20,?her ancestors21, and?finally does obeisance to her parents22. The bride's mother then?takes a lighted candle and searches in each corner of the flowery?chair23, in order to drive away any baleful influences24; after?which the weeping bride is either led by her brother's wives, or?carried ou the back of one of her brothers, to the chair, which?is forthwith shut and locked.

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The chair is not ventilated, and is, moreover, perfectly dark ;consequently, if the weather is hot, or the distance to be travelled considerable, the young bride is liable to have a very uncomfortable ride. As the chair bears her from her old home she?must continue to weep audibly; but as she draws near her future

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1.旗傘 ?2.抬盒 ?3.吹鼓手 ?4.花轎子 ?5.吉慶戲 ?6.八仙 ?7.笛子 ?8.撒啦子 ?9.小鉢 ?10.鼓 ?11.包包鑼 ?12.接親的 ?13.帖子 ?14.吹打執(zhí)事 ?15.轎鋪?zhàn)??16.上梳 ?17.撒筷子 ?18.露水衣 ?19.蓋頭帕 ?20.拜神 ?21.辭祖先 ?22.辭父母 ?23.照轎 ?24.散煞

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husband's home, she must cease mourning, lest she should?convey?the idea that she is unwilling to become his bride.

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The procession returns to the bridegroom's1?home in the?same order as it went; all the presents excepting the eatables?being brought back with the bride. Her brothers and a few relatives, but not her parents, accompany the bride's chair2. The?procession starts amid volleys of crackers, and proceeds on its?way with music of pipe and gong, till the entrance of the bride-groom's home is reached. Here a halt is called to send back.the accompanying spirit guests3. The cook of the establishment?kills a cock. and sprinkles the blood4?in a circle round the flowery?chair; at the same time burning incense and candles to the Cart?and Horse God5, whose tablet is set upon a table by the door.Then amid more firing of crackers, the ghostly relatives of the?bride are asked to return, and the chair is carried into the house.

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7. THE WEDDING CEREMONY6.

The bridegroom's mother unlocks the chair, and a lady?guest leads the bride at once into the hall7, and the doors are?shut. All guests are shut out, lest some unpropitious person?should look upon her8?before the wedding ceremony. She is?led,still veiled,to her place, beside the bridegroom; the pair?then proceed to “greet the hall’’6. First they face the front?door and worship heaven and earth9; then turning, they worship?the ancestors10?of the bridegroom; and finally, bow to eachother11. The doors are then opened and he guests admitted.The master of ceremonies12?calls?out,“l(fā)ift the veil with the left?hand”13, and the bridegroom, but more usually the lady friend?aforementioned, lifts the veil, and for the first time discloses the?lovely,or otherwise, features of the bride. Two boys with lighted?candles then lead the way to the bridal?chamber14. The two?candles are placed on the table. If the left hand one burns out?first, the husband will die first; if the right hand one, the wife.When the pair are seated on the edge of the bed, the cook advances with two cups of tea15, and two cups of soup16. The tea is

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1.新郎、新郎官兒 ?2.送親 ?3.祭車(chē)馬 ?4.回車(chē)馬 ?5.車(chē)馬神 ?6.拜堂、週堂 ?7.堂屋、大屋 ?8.忌不吉利的人 ?9.拜天地 ?10.拜祖先人 ?11.夫妻交拜 ?12.叫禮的 ?13.左手揭蓋 ?14.進(jìn)洞房 ?15.交杯茶 ?16.子孫湯

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first presented, and then the soup. The bridegroom sips a little?from both cups, but the bride diffidently abstains. The cook is?rewarded with a douceur1. A lucky person next hangs up the?bridal curtains2,and scatters dried jujubes3?and dragon's eyes4?in the room5, at the same time uttering good wishes for the?fruitfulness of the newly wedded pair. The parents reward the?person with a small donative1.

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Thereafter the bridegroom, and the male friends, leave the?room, while the bride is being attired in her weeding garments.These consist of the flowery robe6, the embroidered waistcoat7,and the bridal-crown. The latter may be either the phoenix-crown8,worn by the daughters of officials only; or the seven?fold phoenix veil9, worn by brides of all classes.

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8. CONGRATULATIONS10.

In the meantime, the brothers of the bride have been formally recognizing the new relationship11, by presenting cards12?from their parents, to the parents, uncles, and aunts, of the bridegroom. An invitation to the newly married couple to visit the?bride's parents, is handed in at the same time. After the bride?has been arrayed in her bridal attire, the bride and bridegroom?come forth, worship the ancestors together, pay their respects to?the bridegroom's parents13?and receive the congratulations of all the guests. The parents,?and each?guest?in turn, salute the newly?married pair, and present the bride with small?packets of money14,clothing, or ornaments15. One lucky person16?is chosen to be the?first, and another to be the last in this ceremony. The parents?on welcoming them say a few words of admonition ; reminding?them that their parents have, with much care and anxiety,cherished them and brought them to this happy day; and that?it is their business to still be dutiful to their parents, and to live?in harmony with each other; thus giving rest to their parents'?hearts.

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1.賞封 ?2.掛帳子 ?3.乾棗子 ?4.龍眼 ?5.撒帳 ?6.花衣 ?7.霞帔 ?8.鳳冠 ?9.七鳳圍子 ?10.拜客 ?11.交親 ?12.帖子 ?13.拜公婆 ?14.拜錢(qián) ?15.首飾 ?16.吉利的人、有福氣的人

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9. THE WEDDING FEAST1.

Forthwith all sit down to the great business of the day the?wedding feast2. After the feast the bride's brothers3?are the?first to leave. It is the duty of the bridegroom to escort his?brothers some distance on their way4, while they repeatedly?exhort him to return, each?time giving him a present of money.

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After the feast the?younger guests often become mischievous, and invade the bridal chamber5, trying in various ways to make?the bride laugh and so disgrace herself. If she is trapped she?must serve the guests with wine as a forfeit. Other foolish?horse-play is indulged in, unless the parents or elders forbid it.

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10. RETURNING HOME6.

On the first“ even day7’’?after the wedding, the bride and?bridegroom, taking the usual present of eatables, visit the parents?of the bride. The bride's brothers come in chairs to meet them8,The relatives of the bride bring presents of money9?for the bride.?and she, in turn, gives presents of money to the children. The?newly-wedded pair worship the gods and the ancestors, and pay?their respects to the parents. Crackers and feasting are the order?of the day. At the third course of the feast the bridegroom rises?to go10, but is detained by the guests till the feast is over. As?staying overnight would be unlucky, the bride and bridegroom?must return to their own home the same day. If the distance is?too great they may stay in an inn, but not in the house of?the bride's parents. When they depart, the?brothers-in-law11?accompany them some distance12, having to be repeatedly turned?back with presents of money, as the bridegroom had been on the?wedding day. In such ways the balance of giving and receiving is maintained.

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A few days after the first visit, the bride's brother takes two?empty chairs and invites13?the young couple to pay a longer?visit14?to the bride's old home. They take the usual present and?go. The young husband pays a short visit and leaves his wife?with her mother, returning after six or seven days,with a present,and conducting her home.

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1.喜酒??2.坐席、安坐、安席、吃酒??3.送親的??4.送送親客??5.鬧房??6.回門(mén)??7.雙日子??8.接回門(mén)??9.拜錢(qián)??10.告辭??11.舅子、姐夫、妹夫??12.送姐夫、送妹夫 ?13.接轎 ?14.坐十

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11.?INTERCOURSE BETWEEN THE PARENTS1.

At any time after the wedding, the parents may invite each other to dinner. The first occasion is a full-dress2?affair,with presents. Afterwards it is customary to meet on the three?great feast days, and on their respective birthdays3.

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12.THANKING THE GO-BETWEEN4.

A few months after the wedding, the go-between is?‘‘thanked.’’?The bridegroom's parents give a few thousand cash, or a?present of clothing,?besides a present of eatables. The bride's?parents may also give a little.

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13. THE NEW YEAR PRESENT.

On the 16th. of 12th. moon, or later, the bride's parents?send to her,by the hand of her brother, a present of prepared?food5, and sometimes some clothing, to show that she is being?remembered in her old home at the usual time of re-union.

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14. MISCELLANEOUS REMARKS.

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(a) GIRLS RECEIVED YOUNG.

Sometimes in the case of poor people, or where the parents?are dead, the girl is taken into the family while quite young6.There is no ceremony observed. The go-between goes, with a?small present, to her guardians, and brings her home.?She grows?up in the home with her future husband. She calls him “brother”7,and he calls her “sister”8. She is spoken of as the “cold room’’9,or the “daughter-in-law who has been received young”10.When?she is old enough, she is married11?with all the ordinary ceremonies.

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(b) DEATH OF A BETROTHED PERSON.

If a lad dies before marriage, his betrothed, who is regarded?as a widow12, may decide to remain unmarried13; and if she

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1.會(huì)親 ?2.禮服 ?3.三節(jié)、兩生 ?4.謝媒 ?5.分年飯 ?6.小接 ?7.哥哥 ?8.妹妹 ?9.寒房子 ?10.小接媳婦 ?11.團(tuán)房 ?12.望門(mén)寡 ?13.守貞

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keeps her vow, an honorary portal1, or a?flame-bordered tablet2,?may,?with the?Emperor's permission, be erected in honour of?her chastity3.

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A widow under thirty years of age,?may also remain in?widowhood4,and attain to similar honours.

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On the other hand, if a girl dies and her betrothed remains bachelors, no such honours are accorded to him. He is?lacking in his duty to his parents6, because he fails to rear sons?to carry on the ancestral worship7. Unless owing to sheer poverty there are few such in China.

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(c) MARRYING A WIDOW8.

When a man marries a widow very little ceremony is observed. She comes to the house in an ordinary chair9, worships?before the gods alone, and then, together with her husband, pays?respects to his parents,and the affair is settled.

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(d) TAKING A CONCUBINE10.

When a man takes a concubine there is still less ceremony?observed. She comes in a small chair, worships the gods alone,bows to the principal wife11?and takes her place in the?household.

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1.牌坊??2.火焰匾 ?3.旌表貞節(jié)??4.守節(jié)??5.義夫??6.不孝??7.斷香煙、絕後??8.接寡婦親、續(xù)絃、再醮??9.小轎子??10.接小婆子、娶妾、納寵??11.大婆子、正妻、命妻