Healthy Se-dom: total hands on involvement,learning as they go,needs no former experience,bodily action,improvising,total reliance on firsthand experience,rapid changes,anticipation of what will happen next. Skilled in making good things happen,urging others to move forward in space.

Unhealthy Se-dom: over-reliance on sensual experiences,abandons things too quickly to become proficient in them,vapid in their interests,hedonism,recklessness,careless with self/others,tends to push people too much outside their comfort zone,be a bad influence on others?(causing them to fall into poor decisions by attempting to keep up with your equally short-sighed ones).

ESTPs are likely to be competitive realists;unhealthy Se means unhealthy lower functions,including?“using”people. ESFPs are likely to be lovers of the senses and fully surrender to the moment. Unhealthy Se means unhealthy lower functions,including using awareness of others’emotional states to easily fall in and out of relationships.

ISXPs are very similar,except the unhealthy version uses Se defensively – by taking action to protect their dominant function,by wasting endless hours on menial things rather than on absorbing new experiences?(playing 58 straight hours of video games vs. learning / doing with their hands),running away from their problems,by being heedless of the consequences of their actions,or by taking unnecessary risks to give themselves a?‘thrill.’

Healthy inferior-Se: knowing that taking action is the only way to accomplish your life goals,putting yourself out there physically in the world in safe ways that challenge your body?(rock climbing,parasailing,other deeply sensory experiences),a desire for hands-on learning,and an interest in aesthetics.

Unhealthy inferior-Se: plays out in one of two ways – almost total repression of all things Se / repulsion for the outside world?(which means aggressively avoiding it / refusing to participate in it / shunning it and denying one’s own need for hands-on-learning in favor of intellectual learning)or intense aggression toward the outside world,hedonism,recklessness in sexual partners and/or spending money on fulfilling frivolous momentary desires.

ENXJs are very similar,except healthy tert=Se is more inclined to take risks,to leave its comfort zone,to indulge its senses,and to crave a more expensive / lavish Se-oriented lifestyle?(more aesthetics in their choice of a spouse,more interest in fast cars and the best foods,more energy for exercising and trying out extreme sports);unhealthy tert-Se is prone to excess,not knowing when to stop,going overboard,changing sexual partners out of boredom,choosing the wrong moment to act and/or taking unnecessary and even reckless risks.

Fi Repulsion Switch.

Which raises the question – which techniques do?Fi users(INFPs,ISFPs,ENFPs and ESFPs)employ that justifies their own hot-and-cold relationship behaviors? These types are more interested in forming an intimate emotional connection than they are in giving to their partners in a concrete way. But many an Fi user has also been known to cut someone out of their lives without warning. And there’s a reason for this.

One that can be explained through the 5 stages of the?“Fi Repulsion Switch.”

Here’s the breakdown of how it happens.

Stage 1: Meeting and Idealizing

Fi users are known for their tendency to idealize others. When an INFP,ENFP,ISFP or ESFP first meets and takes kindly to a new person,they are highly likely to put him or her on a pedestal – regarding only their best qualities and even inventing and embellishing on the person’s positive traits internally. These types are prone to experiencing intense periods of infatuation?(platonic or romantic in nature)with new people,and for a while,the Fi-user is likely to perceive their new friend or love interest as almost perfect.

Stage 2: Repressed frustrations and justifications

As the Fi-user gets to know the new person better,they are bound to become frustrated with them in small ways. Rather than reconciling these frustrations and learning to see both the good and the bad in their new interest,the Fi-user is likely to idealize even their flaws. They may chalk a love interest’s jealous tendencies up to them caring a lot about the relationship,or turn a blind eye to the person’s day-to-day habits that secretly drive them crazy.

During the justification phase,the Fi-user is subconsciously struggling to maintain their idealized version of the person they’re involved with,while consciously facing the reality of who they are. Naturally,a great deal of internal emotional tension begins to develop within the Fi-user during this phase. They may find themselves having to go to further and further lengths to maintain their perception of the other person as virtually flawless.

Stage 3: A Random Incident Flips The Repulsion Switch

It could be an isolated case of bad breath. An embarrassing social interaction. Or a simple story being told for the umpteenth time. But once the Fi-user has been internally repressing frustration for long enough,even the simplest interaction can cause the repulsion switch to flip without warning. And once it does,all the frustrations that the Fi-user has been repressing come pouring through their mind at once.

Stage 4: Being repulsed by EVERYTHING

Once the repulsion switch is flipped,the Fi-user is suddenly frustrated,annoyed,even?repulsedby virtually everything the opposing party does. They may suddenly cringe at the way the other person walks,talks,makes decisions and generally behaves. At this phase,it often feels as though the other person cannot even?breathin a non-repulsive manner. The Fi-user can shift – seemingly in an instant – from finding everything the other person does to be wonderful,to finding everything they do to be almost unbearably annoying. They will likely find it difficult to even be in the opposing party’s presence during this phase.

Stage 5: Reconciliation or deterioration

Once the repulsion switch is flipped in the Fi-user,it can be difficult to reconcile the relationship. Many romantic relationships deteriorate at this phase,as the Fi-user suddenly finds that they are no longer attracted to their partner.

On the flip side,the Fi user may take some time away from the relationship to process their frustrations,then return to it with a more realistic view of their partner. The flipping of the repulsion switch may actually benefit the relationship in the long run,as it causes the Fi-user to stop idealizing their friend or partner,and face the reality of who they are.

Of course,the repulsion switch does not get flipped in every relationship an Fi-user has. It generally occurs when the Fi-user is trying to justify a shortcoming in the relationship,which would ultimately cause it to deteriorate whether the repulsion switch were flipped or not. In many ways,this switch is just waking the Fi-user up to reality – in a rude and unfortunately abrupt fashion.?

these types are more interested in forming an "intimate emotional connection"??than they are in giving to their partners in a concrete way.

INTJ personalities sometimes come across as aloof intellectuals. They can be the archetypal?“bookworms.”But they are generally not content to merely take refuge in a world of ideas. They want to do more than just comprehend the complex concepts that interest them. What they really want is to apply what they’ve come to understand for the betterment of all. They’re prone to concocting elaborate plans,and as?“judging”types,they often have the organizational capacity to see those plans through to fruition. They tend to be both methodical and perfectionistic,and they have the drive to put their ideas into action and the persistence to realize their dreams.

Sometimes it’s hard to comprehend just where an INTJ type is coming from when they try to communicate their ideas. While you might readily recognize their intelligence and insightfulness,you might not be able to appreciate how they want to go about implementing things because they tend to be unconventional in both their approach and methodology. But they also tend to be good strategists,and even though they tend to want to work alone,when given a leadership role,they can easily shine. That’s because they have the courage of their convictions,have a good sense of where they want to go,and because it means so much to them to see their objectives realized,no matter what organizational system they’re working in,they’ll generally do what it takes to make things work out well.

Again,INTJs tend to be more than idle thinkers. They’re nose-to-the grindstone types who are prepared to do what it takes make a project succeed. Because they are so inwardly focused on their ideas and plans,they might tend to come across as either oblivious to or disregarding of the feelings of those with whom they might be working. It’s not that they’re insensitive,as anyone who might challenge their way of doing things is likely to quickly find out. It’s just that as primarily?“thinking”types,they’re not all that good at getting in touch with or expressing their feelings to others. They can also come across as Mr. Spock-like characters — referring to the recently deceased Leonard Nimoy’s half-Vulcan?Star Trekcharacter,known for placing reason over emotion — because of their seeming intolerance for opinions that are primarily passion-based as opposed to logically derived. INTJs can also sometimes come across as more than merely self-confident and may display a fair degree of intolerance for those who don’t seem to recognize with merits of their ideas or plans.?(Recently I watched the movie?Imitation Game,the real life story of scientist Alan Turing,who dared to believe — and in the process alienated many co-workers who thought his idea terribly far-fetched — that only a machine,which he himself proposed to design and build,could do what a top-notch team of scientists had been unable to do for months: break the Nazi regime’s ENIGMA war code. As I watched,I remember wondering to myself whether one of the earliest pioneers of a contraption we presently call a?“computer”was perhaps in fact an INTJ personality type.)Because they tend to be unorthodox in their approach,and because they tend to be so unwavering in their intuitive convictions,others may see these archetypal?“thinking outside the box”types as simply unreasonable or even irrational at times. But they have a knack for making believers out of folks,because once they lock onto an idea,while they might have to do some revising along the way,they generally persist with their plans until they get the results they’re after.

It would be fair to assume that we owe much of the technological innovations we take so much for granted these days to the vision,dedication,and organizational capacity of INTJ types. Striving to put their intuitive insights and radical ideas to good,practical use,these types have undoubtedly helped make the world a better place.

Intj are different,you need to tell them you are comfortable with them,you need to tell them they are giving a good experience you need,you need to give them feedback for what they do,because they just want to become better,they want to become that sharp tool that you use on a regular basis,they want to be the absolute best and most efficient tool and have every opportunity to finish what you start basically and take it to next level.

Always tell istj what you gonna do before you gonna do it. Tell them your intention before hand. Or they will destroy the relationship.

If you raise an istj,discipline，they thrive on should,if you reward them for being dutiful,tell them that they are being honorable. Si is all about honor and duty.(military)(enduring)If you raise an intj,give them what they want,give them choice,allow them to have choices,they thrive on choice. They are about their willpower,(willing)

Ti critics demand to verify the beliefs like istj would demand citing sources,or intj would confront the source about the sensational facts.

a tip from about the fi exploding: starting help others with their problems,leave tips and comments,advice for others’problems and get to see you n see others. Instead of trying to feel better first then help others,by helping others would get you out of the frozen state.

Feelings has less power if give them names and faces.

if the inner demons and feelings gradually become stuff you become feeling more curious about,interested about in nonjudgmental way,then suddenly those demons are less terrifying,less unbearable,you don't need to wall off,these things are less scary whenever they have names and faces on it,once you can make some sense of them,those feelings are less scary they have less power over you,they have less power,you will be able to process,resolve them,to be forwards till the rest of your life.

The difficulty empaths face is the intrinsic burden accompanying the duty of empathy. When we feel the pain of others,we naturally want to make that pain go away—because their pain is our pain,and their suffering is our suffering. This is what compassion is. This emotional sponging reveals the most difficult issue empaths can face. Sometimes,the best thing for a person is not to rescue them. When someone is in pain,making it disappear is not always best for them. This is not an advocation for prolonging unnecessary suffering,but a caution that pain does not exist only to be relieved.

What does it exist for,then????Pain operates as a signal that tells us something is wrong. If the cause of pain is not fixed?(splinter,bad diet,loneliness)it will only resurface in different forms with varying intensity. Never will it resolve until the central issue is addressed. Again,this is the purpose of introverted thinking,this is where introverted thinking needs its?“Day in Court,”as Chase says. Feeling by itself is not enough.

We could look at these functions as existing on the same continuum that Aristotle used to define?“virtue.”On the far left would be niceness,where feeling?(and feeling?“better”)was all that mattered. On the far right would be the detachment of a hyper-logical mind. Constant skepticism,criticism,coldness,potential arrogance,and likely the complete dismissal of others—these would be the characteristics of Ti on its own. But,as we have seen,the amalgam of both extraverted feeling and introverted thinking together offers a richness and a depth—not to mention maturity—that is unfounded and utterly incomprehensible while they remain unintegrated in isolation. It is in the bringing together of Fe and Ti that moves them from the status of?“vicious”to?“virtuous.”

This?“virtue”moves us to our last section here,with a more explicit meditation on?“love.”Love looks at the past,present,and the future and,taking all into account,attempts to provide a pathway where the wellbeing of the object of that love can be brought to healing,health,and—ultimately—flourishing. Love is deeply spiritual and practical because of the perspective that it demands we take.

Regarding the relationship between the axis of extraverted feeling/introverted thinking,and love,one has to realize that making people feel better is not the primary duty of an extraverted feeling user. It is instead to nurture,to move the person?(institution,object,ect.)towards a better place in the manner that will cause the least amount of unnecessary pain and suffering?(Despite what some may claim,suffering is not a virtue). This is what a virtuous and loving extraverted feeling user does. They ride this balance of each cognitive function and learn not to let the fear of the truth overtake them. The truth is scary,especially for the extraverted feeling user,who feels what the impact of that truth will be on another. And truth is rarely painless. Yet,this courage to use truth,despite the discomfort it may cause,is the only way that the extraverted feeling user can express actual love.